Premieres, Finales, and Notables; March 30-April 5, 2009

Monday, 3/30

Greek; ABC Family. 7 pm CST. 2nd Season Premiere.
I've heard this show is pretty good...

Battlestar Galactica's Tricia Helfer guest stars on Chuck (NBC; 7 pm).


Tuesday, 3/31

Osbournes: Reloaded; FOX. 8:20 pm (Note the time). Series Premiere.
The Osbourne family does a variety show. Music, jokes, pranks, and skits where they attempt "real jobs" are on tap. Could be a disaster, but I am intrigued enough to watch at least the pilot.

Cupid; ABC. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
A "remake" of the 1998 dramedy (one I enjoyed quite a bit) with Bobby Cannavale playing a "grounded" Cupid who has to match 100 couples before Zeus will let him back in Mt. Olympus. Sarah Paulson plays the therapist who treats him (and will eventually fall for him, I'm sure).
I don't remember much about the original other than I remembered I liking it quite a bit.
I know this is a remake that should be on its own merits, but Cannavale has done nothing for me before, so I doubt I'll dig him as much as I dug Jeremy Piven in the original. Sarah Paulson has always impressed me, so I think I'll "buy" her easily enough. But, man, I fell in love with Paula Marshal in the original... Good times.
Maybe this will get the original series on DVD.

Pretty Wicked; Oxygen. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Ten women get personality makeovers and compete in an "inner beauty" competition.

My Boys; TBS. 9:30 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.
This is a pretty good show with great co-stars (Jim Gaffigan and Kyle Howard). And it got rid of the cheesy sports-metaphor-for-life elements from the first season. Recommended.


Wednesday, 4/1

I Get That a Lot; CBS. 7 pm. Special.
Celebs like Mario Lopez, Ice-T, Heidi Klum, and Jessica Simpson disguise themselves as regular folk in the service industry and try to convince their customers they are not who they look like. I'm sure it's lame, but I've heard Klum and Simpson are pretty funny.

Pedro; MTV. 7 pm. Special.
Oscar-winner Dustin Lance Black (Milk) wrote the screenplay of this biopic about The Real World: San Francisco's Pedro Zamora.
I have to admit, I hated how MTV shoved Pedro down our throats back in the '90s, but I read roommate (and current DC Comics writer) Judd Winick's graphic novel Pedro & Me a few years ago, and I got a much better sense of the man from it. The GN is highly recommended. And I think the subject of this movie makes it worth at least trying.

Damages (FX; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Life on Mars (ABC; 9:02). Series Finale.
That's right: series finale. At least the creators got a chance to write a proper ending, so it won't be the usual show that just disappears on a cliffhanger.

Reno 911; Comedy Central. 9:30. 6th Season Premiere.
I'll give this show one more season (I've been terribly disappointed the past two years) before I stop watching.


Thursday, 4/2

ER (NBC; 9 pm). Series Finale.
The show should be going out with a bang. I don't know what'll happen, but they've had natural disasters, helicopter crashes, tanks smashes (I think), disease outbreaks... I think the only way they could top themselves is if the moon itself falls out of orbit and lands directly on the hospital.

Nah-- I'm kidding. My understanding is this show gets a proper and dignified send-off that honors the past.
As ridiculous and goddamned depressing as it got (I gave up after seven seasons, so maybe the tone changed after that), this was breakthrough television that almost didn't make it to the air. And it would have been a shame had we not experienced those first few years.
I won't watch the finale, but I'll raise a glass to it on Thursday. It earned it. Hopefully the fans who stuck around the full 16 seasons get what they deserve.

Eleventh Hour (CBS; 9:01). Season Finale.


Friday, 4/3

Escape to Chimp Eden; Animal Planet. 8 pm. Season Premiere.



Sunday, 4/5

Food Network Challenge: Lake Cake Standing; Food Network. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Six pastry chefs do their thing in this reality competition.

In Treatment; HBO. 8 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.

The Tudors; Showtime. 8 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.

United States of Tara (Showtime; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Do you love the same things Paris does?

Watch this clip and find out:

Three Guesses Why Her Man Would Cheat...

If you need more than one guess, you're a moron.

CONDENSED SOUP; 3/27

WIFE SWAP-- Telling Every Family's Story

I think they could have left this one on the cutting-room floor...

The Only Thing I Can Think Is That The Name is Wrong

How about "pierce-stream"?

And you just have to love the remote...

SMCCC: Mountain Climber

ITM: Episode 5

Not particularly funny this time. I'm just including it because I'm already this far into posting the series...

This Chick is Getting More and More Ridiculous

Is it me, or has Tyra become a parody of those terrible day-time talk shows from the '90s?

Chickenfoot Sammy

Kinda stupid, but short.

And it has two of my favorite things:

Chickenfoot at Play

Rock stars have too much fun.

And the Will Farrell-looking guy is Chad Smith. I think. Could be Farrell...

SMCCC: Monkeys Talk About Religion

This dude seriously lives up to his name...

ITM: Episode 4

The mom explaining to another kid what sex is is pretty good (around the 5 minute mark).

Premieres and Notables; March 23-29, 2009

Just a note: the magazines I steal this info from were pretty vague on just what these new shows are about. Sorry I don't have much to go on.


Monday, 3/23



Aaron Stone; Disney XD. 6 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Kelly Blatz stars as a young action hero (sounds like a cross between a spy and a Batman-type).

The Secret Life of an American Teenager (ABC Family; 7 pm). Season Finale.

Ted loses his job on How I Met Your Mother (CBS; 7:30). I'm sure it'll be funny anyway...

Roommates; ABC Family. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
All I know is it's a sitcom in the Friends vein-- and this cast is not nearly as white as that cast.

Sophie; ABC Family. 8:30 pm. Series Premiere.
A pregnant talent agents gets dumped by her boyfriend, who also runs off with her clients.
[Geez, I wonder if Middleman could have been saved by the network had Dubby been pregnant. Seems as if ABC Family likes those types of characters.]

RuPaul's Drag Race (Logo; 9 pm). Season Finale.




Tuesday, 3/24

Chuck Jones: Memories of Childhood; TCM. 7 pm. Special.
An hour-long look at the legendary Looney Tunes director.



College Hill: South Beach; BET. 9 pm. Season Premiere.




Wednesday, 3/25



Important Things With Demetri Martin (Comedy Central; 9:30 pm). Season Finale.


Thursday, 3/26

American Idol Extra; FOX Reality. 6 pm. Season Premiere.
Thank God! I mean, there's just not enough American Idol coverage nowadays...



In The Motherhood; ABC. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
The web series gets a network show-- with an entirely different cast.



Zatanna is introduced on Smallville (CW; 7 pm). Mmmmmm... Zatanna.
I hope the series tries to get her costume close to the one in the comics (traditional-- if sexy-- magician outfit and fishnet tights).

Hot damn! Looks like they got it right.

Saturday, 3/28

Nickelodeon's 22nd Annual Kid's Choice Awards; Nickelodeon. 7 pm. Special.
Hosted by Dwayne Johnson (he doesn't go by "The Rock" anymore).


Penguins of Madagascar; Nickelodeon. 8:30 pm. Series Premiere.
The only consistently entertaining characters in the Madagascar films get their own show. Let's all pray they don't become annoying now that they are focal characters in their own show.




Sunday, 3/29


Any Dream Will Do; BBC America. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Singers compete for a lead role in the London revival of Joseph and His Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.


The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency; HBO. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Singer Jill Scott stars as Botswana's first female private investigator in this adaptation of the Alexander McCall Smith novels.


A number of Star Trek: the Next Generation cast members make guest appearances (sounds? voices?) on Family Guy (FOX; 8 pm).


Jim Gaffigan: King Baby; Comedy Central. 8 pm. Special.


G4 Underground; G4. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
A documentary series. The first ep looks at people who put on costumes and fight crime.


The Mighty Boosh; Cartoon Network/[adult swim]. Midnight. Series Premiere.
A live-action series (ugh-- not on this network...) that probably has no relation to the phrase "Boosh" that the X-Tacles say on Frisky Dingo.