Premieres and Notables; August 8-16, 2009

Sorry it's been light lately. My subscription to Entertainment Weekly ran out (I've since renewed it), and I've mentioned more than once that TV Guide sucks, so there it is...

[Note (8/9, noon CST): got an ish of EW, so there's more now. And TV Guide still sucks...]


Monday, 8/10

Twilight Weekly: Spotlight; Reelz. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Everyone who is tired of hearing about Twilight, raise your hand...
And unless the punctuation is an accident (entirely possible in this Twitter/texting world; and, yes, I blow it sometimes, too-- but I don't f-ing paid for my writing), can we expect more Twilight Weekly's? Maybe a "non-spotlight" or something?


Tuesday, 8/11

Better Off Ted (ABC; 8:30). Season Finale.
I mean, I'm pretty sure it is this time. It's not as if ABC has pulled it and then aired an odd episode and not for two weeks and then started airing them again or anything...

NYC Prep (Bravo; 8 pm CST). Season Finale.


Wednesday, 8/12

Man vs. Wild; Discovery. 8 pm CST. Season Premiere.
Bear hits the Arctic Circle, where he pees on his skis to get better traction and crosses a river in only his boots to keep his clothes dry.


Thursday, 8/13

Into the Pride; Animal Planet. 7 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Feline expert Dave Salmoni spends six months in Africa trying to help a pride of lions cope with humans.

Tosh.0 (Comedy Central; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Friday, 8/14

Degrassi Goes Hollywood; The N. 7 pm CST. Movie.
Old school Degrassi cast members visit Paige in L.A. while she works on a movie.

Mental (FOX; 8 pm). Season Finale.


Saturday, 8/15

Househusbands of Hollywood; FOX Reality. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Two of the guys are the husbands of Tempest Bledsoe and Jillian Reynolds. Why wouldn't you want to watch?
Ummm... Yeah...
We've not only hit the bottom of the barrel; we've kept digging beyond it...


Sunday, 8/16

2 Months, $2 Million; G4. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Four online poker players in their 20's live in an apartment in Las Vegas with the goal of winning... Well, read the title.

Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami; E!. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
I guess Keeping Up With the Kardassians wasn't enough for these two girls.
I can't wait until there's a show following the life of Bruce Jenner's plastic surgeon...

My Antonio; VH1. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
I usually don't mention VH1 because it's pretty much all shit, but I had to mention the proof of that statement.
You see, this show features Antonio Sabato Jr. trying to find love between 13 women hand-picked by the producers/network, all taking place in Hawaii.
So let's take a poll: who thinks he'll find love among these sure to be skanks? How many of the women will have stupid-ass made-up names (I say 9 of 13)? How many minutes into the premiere before at least one woman has a screaming match with another "bitch/ho/slut"?

But VH1 did score with Sabato. I mean, he's good looking, will probably not wear a shirt, but, most of all, will actually not have something on his head 24/7.
Yeah, Bret, I'm talking about you.
Flava Flav, too.


Mad Men; AMC. 9 pm CST. 3rd Season Premiere.
That came too quickly. (I haven't caught up/started watching yet.)

Who Wants to "Plumb" A Gold-Digger?

Well, we know she's not a great actress. ...Or even a good one.

Ryan O'Neil: Celebrity Matchmaker

Now that we see what he admitted to in Vanity Fair, let's take another step back:
Why the Hell would you even tell that story? And to a reporter? Are you retarded?

Condensed SOUP; 8/7/09

That's Hot

I wonder what would happen if a smart person got a reality show...

"We Can Still Be Friends"; 2009-style

What better time to make a business proposition?

Because What's Funnier Than a Cult Mass Suicide?

That it wasn't the right place on the planet is beside the point...

Brides Are Silly: Cake

Wait for the end. That's one classy dame there.

He Sure Turned the Tables on Those Guys

Touche.

Hulk & Knobs; the new Power Couple

It almost seemed believable-- until you notice the microphone battery pack on one of the dudes.

Brides are Silly: Food

The clip speaks for itself...

Premieres and Notables; Aug 3-9, 2009

Wednesday, 8/5

Giuliana & Bill; Style. 8 pm CST. Season Premiere.
I had never heard of this one before ("season premiere"?), and it blew my mind there's a TV show about E! host Giuliana Rancic and her husband Bill, and how they manage their marriage with her in L.A. and him in Chicago.
Are you f-bombing kidding me?


Thursday, 8/6

Burn Notice (USA; 8 pm) Season Finale.
Wow-- that went fast...

Bollywood Hero; IFC. 9 pm. Miniseries.
This mini features Chris Kattan trying to become a star in India.
(It's scripted; just in case you were wondering-- it's not a reality show.)


Friday, 8/7

Monk; USA. 8 pm CST. 8th Season Premiere.
The final season begins now.

Psych; USA. 9 pm. Season Premiere.


Sunday, 8/9

In Plain Sight (USA; 9 pm). Season Finale.

A SOUPy Look at Wendy Williams