Chiiiiicken... Nuggets...

I love these guys already.

Maybe Her Name Should Have Been The First Clue...

There are just so many whacked-out things about this clip:
1. The tattoo on her face.
2. The fact that they'd ask that question on a dating competition.
3. The fact that they do the ridiculous lie detector in the first place.
4. The thumbs-up the lie detector conductor gives at the end (okay, that was pretty funny).



Oh yeah-- her name is Danger, if you didn't catch it during the clip.

"Gross" Guy Missed

DALLAS Meets STAR WARS

There's millions of these "jams" out there, but I thought this one was pretty good.

ANGEL Star Dies

I couldn't possibly keep up with great and influential people who have died in all the media I love, but once in a while I feel the need to acknowledge a death.

I just read that Angel star Andy Hallett died from heart failure at 33 years old.

Hallett played the demon Lorne, one of my favorite characters on one of my all-time favorite shows. At first Lorne who was a helpful friend for Angel and his gang to have, and as the show continued, he became almost a team member himself. He was a standout in the Whedon-verse full of unique characters as the club owning demon who could read a person's thoughts/intentions when they sang. And he always did it dressed as if he belonged on the Vegas strip.

I think credit for the popularity of the character rests on Hallett's portrayal of him. Lorne was probably intended to be a bit character at first, but he kept coming back, and I think it's because of Hallett.

And it's odd that one of the only times I have seen him out of the Lorne makeup was in the picture that accompanied the news of his death.

Here's a link to that news piece from tvguide.com:
http://www.tvguide.com/News/Andy-Hallet-Dies-1004552.aspx

SMCCC: Mad Cow Disease

Judge Not

You've seen the first part-- but you didn't see the ending-- and the second part is great.

"Rocket scientist"...

Premieres, Finales, and Notables; March 30-April 5, 2009

Monday, 3/30

Greek; ABC Family. 7 pm CST. 2nd Season Premiere.
I've heard this show is pretty good...

Battlestar Galactica's Tricia Helfer guest stars on Chuck (NBC; 7 pm).


Tuesday, 3/31

Osbournes: Reloaded; FOX. 8:20 pm (Note the time). Series Premiere.
The Osbourne family does a variety show. Music, jokes, pranks, and skits where they attempt "real jobs" are on tap. Could be a disaster, but I am intrigued enough to watch at least the pilot.

Cupid; ABC. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
A "remake" of the 1998 dramedy (one I enjoyed quite a bit) with Bobby Cannavale playing a "grounded" Cupid who has to match 100 couples before Zeus will let him back in Mt. Olympus. Sarah Paulson plays the therapist who treats him (and will eventually fall for him, I'm sure).
I don't remember much about the original other than I remembered I liking it quite a bit.
I know this is a remake that should be on its own merits, but Cannavale has done nothing for me before, so I doubt I'll dig him as much as I dug Jeremy Piven in the original. Sarah Paulson has always impressed me, so I think I'll "buy" her easily enough. But, man, I fell in love with Paula Marshal in the original... Good times.
Maybe this will get the original series on DVD.

Pretty Wicked; Oxygen. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Ten women get personality makeovers and compete in an "inner beauty" competition.

My Boys; TBS. 9:30 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.
This is a pretty good show with great co-stars (Jim Gaffigan and Kyle Howard). And it got rid of the cheesy sports-metaphor-for-life elements from the first season. Recommended.


Wednesday, 4/1

I Get That a Lot; CBS. 7 pm. Special.
Celebs like Mario Lopez, Ice-T, Heidi Klum, and Jessica Simpson disguise themselves as regular folk in the service industry and try to convince their customers they are not who they look like. I'm sure it's lame, but I've heard Klum and Simpson are pretty funny.

Pedro; MTV. 7 pm. Special.
Oscar-winner Dustin Lance Black (Milk) wrote the screenplay of this biopic about The Real World: San Francisco's Pedro Zamora.
I have to admit, I hated how MTV shoved Pedro down our throats back in the '90s, but I read roommate (and current DC Comics writer) Judd Winick's graphic novel Pedro & Me a few years ago, and I got a much better sense of the man from it. The GN is highly recommended. And I think the subject of this movie makes it worth at least trying.

Damages (FX; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Life on Mars (ABC; 9:02). Series Finale.
That's right: series finale. At least the creators got a chance to write a proper ending, so it won't be the usual show that just disappears on a cliffhanger.

Reno 911; Comedy Central. 9:30. 6th Season Premiere.
I'll give this show one more season (I've been terribly disappointed the past two years) before I stop watching.


Thursday, 4/2

ER (NBC; 9 pm). Series Finale.
The show should be going out with a bang. I don't know what'll happen, but they've had natural disasters, helicopter crashes, tanks smashes (I think), disease outbreaks... I think the only way they could top themselves is if the moon itself falls out of orbit and lands directly on the hospital.

Nah-- I'm kidding. My understanding is this show gets a proper and dignified send-off that honors the past.
As ridiculous and goddamned depressing as it got (I gave up after seven seasons, so maybe the tone changed after that), this was breakthrough television that almost didn't make it to the air. And it would have been a shame had we not experienced those first few years.
I won't watch the finale, but I'll raise a glass to it on Thursday. It earned it. Hopefully the fans who stuck around the full 16 seasons get what they deserve.

Eleventh Hour (CBS; 9:01). Season Finale.


Friday, 4/3

Escape to Chimp Eden; Animal Planet. 8 pm. Season Premiere.



Sunday, 4/5

Food Network Challenge: Lake Cake Standing; Food Network. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Six pastry chefs do their thing in this reality competition.

In Treatment; HBO. 8 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.

The Tudors; Showtime. 8 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.

United States of Tara (Showtime; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Do you love the same things Paris does?

Watch this clip and find out:

Three Guesses Why Her Man Would Cheat...

If you need more than one guess, you're a moron.

CONDENSED SOUP; 3/27

WIFE SWAP-- Telling Every Family's Story

I think they could have left this one on the cutting-room floor...

The Only Thing I Can Think Is That The Name is Wrong

How about "pierce-stream"?

And you just have to love the remote...

SMCCC: Mountain Climber

ITM: Episode 5

Not particularly funny this time. I'm just including it because I'm already this far into posting the series...

This Chick is Getting More and More Ridiculous

Is it me, or has Tyra become a parody of those terrible day-time talk shows from the '90s?

Chickenfoot Sammy

Kinda stupid, but short.

And it has two of my favorite things:

Chickenfoot at Play

Rock stars have too much fun.

And the Will Farrell-looking guy is Chad Smith. I think. Could be Farrell...

SMCCC: Monkeys Talk About Religion

This dude seriously lives up to his name...

ITM: Episode 4

The mom explaining to another kid what sex is is pretty good (around the 5 minute mark).

Premieres and Notables; March 23-29, 2009

Just a note: the magazines I steal this info from were pretty vague on just what these new shows are about. Sorry I don't have much to go on.


Monday, 3/23



Aaron Stone; Disney XD. 6 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Kelly Blatz stars as a young action hero (sounds like a cross between a spy and a Batman-type).

The Secret Life of an American Teenager (ABC Family; 7 pm). Season Finale.

Ted loses his job on How I Met Your Mother (CBS; 7:30). I'm sure it'll be funny anyway...

Roommates; ABC Family. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
All I know is it's a sitcom in the Friends vein-- and this cast is not nearly as white as that cast.

Sophie; ABC Family. 8:30 pm. Series Premiere.
A pregnant talent agents gets dumped by her boyfriend, who also runs off with her clients.
[Geez, I wonder if Middleman could have been saved by the network had Dubby been pregnant. Seems as if ABC Family likes those types of characters.]

RuPaul's Drag Race (Logo; 9 pm). Season Finale.




Tuesday, 3/24

Chuck Jones: Memories of Childhood; TCM. 7 pm. Special.
An hour-long look at the legendary Looney Tunes director.



College Hill: South Beach; BET. 9 pm. Season Premiere.




Wednesday, 3/25



Important Things With Demetri Martin (Comedy Central; 9:30 pm). Season Finale.


Thursday, 3/26

American Idol Extra; FOX Reality. 6 pm. Season Premiere.
Thank God! I mean, there's just not enough American Idol coverage nowadays...



In The Motherhood; ABC. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
The web series gets a network show-- with an entirely different cast.



Zatanna is introduced on Smallville (CW; 7 pm). Mmmmmm... Zatanna.
I hope the series tries to get her costume close to the one in the comics (traditional-- if sexy-- magician outfit and fishnet tights).

Hot damn! Looks like they got it right.

Saturday, 3/28

Nickelodeon's 22nd Annual Kid's Choice Awards; Nickelodeon. 7 pm. Special.
Hosted by Dwayne Johnson (he doesn't go by "The Rock" anymore).


Penguins of Madagascar; Nickelodeon. 8:30 pm. Series Premiere.
The only consistently entertaining characters in the Madagascar films get their own show. Let's all pray they don't become annoying now that they are focal characters in their own show.




Sunday, 3/29


Any Dream Will Do; BBC America. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Singers compete for a lead role in the London revival of Joseph and His Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.


The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency; HBO. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Singer Jill Scott stars as Botswana's first female private investigator in this adaptation of the Alexander McCall Smith novels.


A number of Star Trek: the Next Generation cast members make guest appearances (sounds? voices?) on Family Guy (FOX; 8 pm).


Jim Gaffigan: King Baby; Comedy Central. 8 pm. Special.


G4 Underground; G4. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
A documentary series. The first ep looks at people who put on costumes and fight crime.


The Mighty Boosh; Cartoon Network/[adult swim]. Midnight. Series Premiere.
A live-action series (ugh-- not on this network...) that probably has no relation to the phrase "Boosh" that the X-Tacles say on Frisky Dingo.

Best Week Lately

Maybe once or twice a year, I'll be hit with really great television from the variety of shows I watch.

The week from 3/15-3/21 was one of those times.


First off, we had How I Met Your Mother Monday night.

It wasn't one of those extremely hilarious episodes, and it wasn't what I call a game-changer (where something major happens), but it was right in the middle. Ted and Lily were discussing the new revelation that she just-- and has also done in the past-- manipulated his last relationship into having his girlfriend break up with him. She did it for the right reasons-- and Ted can see that-- but it was also a huge betrayal to him. I'm curious to see what happens there. Maybe it'll never be brought up again, but this isn't like most shows, it understands-- and pays attention to-- its history. I would imagine the next relationship Ted gets into (which could very well be with the titular Mother), will have him very leery of getting his new lady close to Lily.

And while that "heaviness" was happening, Marshall was proving to Barney how liberating a nightshirt is to wear in bed. It doesn't sound all that funny, but it was; trust me. And while all that was going on, Robin was having some troubles on her morning talk show which were even funnier.


Next, we had The Office on Thursday night.

Michael gets a new supervisor (Charles), which puts him off the deep end because, as he tells Charles, the last two bosses were Jan, "who came around when she was horny" and Ryan, "who was on drugs", so he's used to supervising himself. Charles would have none of that. He could see from just being in that office for five minutes, that there is very little control or leadership in it. Michael tried his usual nonsense, and Charles kept shutting him down. Michael decided to drive to New York to talk to the head guy (David)-- who had avoided his calls all day. In that confrontation, he mentioned that he deserved a party to celebrate his 15 years with the company, but along the course of that conversation, he was also very subtly telling David that he was disappointed that David blew him off all day. David realized that Michael was right; that Michael did deserve better treatment, so he said he would find the money for Michael's party. Michael got up and said, "I quit".

Only two or three other times in the run of this show has Michael pulled his head out of his ass enough to realize what's going on around him. Of course, the bulk of his problems are directly attributed to the fact that his head is up his ass the majority of the time; that he is either too irrational or too infantile to do the right thing. But he did the right thing in this case. One of his superiors proved that he doesn't listen to him-- and while it wasn't mentioned, the reality is Michael knows he got passed over for promotion again-- so he quits.

But an even more intriguing storyline was about Jim. Lovable, funny Jim… He loves pulling pranks and deflating the stupidity balloons around him (namely Dwight's). But one of his best jokes came the same day Charles arrived. Jim decided to go overboard on the dress code memo that Dwight sent out, so he wore a tuxedo to work. Funny, yes-- there even quite a few jokes surrounding it before Charles arrived-- but looking at it as a normal person would (through Charles' eyes), it was shown to be a juvenile prank. Especially because Charles would be the type of guy Jim would need to impress to go somewhere in the company. He further embarrassed himself to Charles for declaring he was the "assistant manager" under Michael-- something he teased Dwight about (for being a made up position) before Dwight lost the title.

So while Jim has always been the character that grounded us in reality while the lunacy of the office occurred around him, we saw Jim for what he has become: just another nutcase in that office.

Will the show get that "deep" and continue along this path, or were we just supposed to feel bad for Jim for making mistakes that one day? I hope they're brave enough to explore the "facts" I just presented (although none of this was mentioned in the episode) and that the show is on the track I'm on right now.


Later on Thursday, I watched the fourth season finale of The Wire. The bulk of my week was spent watching the season from start to finish (over 13 hours from Sunday night to Thursday night), and it was well worth putting everything else aside for it. Two weeks ago, I told a friend that The Wire Season Three (which I had just finished) were 12 of the best hours of television I'd ever seen.

Season Four was even better.

Since I'm focusing on the finale, I'll stay on that path. In about 75 minutes, I had my heart broken countless times, I actually shed tears on more than one occasion, and I was left emotionally spent for over 24 hours.

The beauty of The Wire is that each season is very much like a book. There is a beginning, a middle, and an end. There are many, many characters to follow as the plot progresses, but the main storyline was about four young boys in eighth grade who were at a turning point in their lives. These boys had everyone pulling at them: drug dealers, police, teachers, civic-minded individuals, family, friends... In the finale, we got to see the paths they ended up on, and, true to form for the show, not everyone had a happy ending-- and that was absolutely heartbreaking.

The show had always been about Baltimore, so usually the characters are just our way of getting to know the city, but, man, I loved those kids (even after knowing them for only twelve hours)and to see where some of them ended up was brutal-- even though I knew the odds were bad for them.

And if that wasn't bad enough, one of my favorite characters took two in the head after making the "right choice" and was dead before he hit the pavement. Another favorite character tried killing himself and ended up in an institution. And yet another favorite character failed so terribly after trying so hard to make amends for a mistake.

But while all that bad was going on, there were some good moments: the Major Crimes Unit got repaired, one of the most damaged characters got his shit together for a return, and Bunny Colvin showed that heroism can come in many forms and probably saved a life.

I cannot wait to see Season Five...


Finally (I know: Thank God), we have Friday.

First, came The Soup. Host Joel McHale has never really pulled punches with the stupidity he "reports" every week, but this week was especially brutal. I don't know if the writers are different, or if he was having a bad day, or if these reality shows just had an unbelievably stupid week, but it was harsh. And very, very funny...


And lastly came the Battlestar Galactica series finale. I didn't watch the series from Day One. I elected to wait until near the end to just watch the series in bulk. I started with Seasons 1 and 2.0 last summer and then crammed Seasons 2.5, 3, and 4.0 between Thanksgiving and the end of January, where I picked up on Season 4.5 as each episode aired weekly.

I have to admit that I was disappointed for much of Season 4.5 because there were so many loose ends to be tied up, and the show just didn't seem to want to acknowledge what was out there. So I knew all the questions would never be answered in the final episode-- especially because the Galactica still had one, last mission to go on.

And that last mission was a doozy. Without saying too much, I'll just say how the boarding party got on the ship it was infiltrating was cool as Hell.

Anyway, even though many of the loose ends weren't tied up-- and many of the questions still out there were not answered, I found the finale very satisfying on an emotional level. The show had always been about the characters (even if we didn't understand what they all were), and the episode acknowledged that fact. Fewer people died than I expected, which was a welcome relief after what they all had been through. And while I think the reliance on being ambiguous in certain areas was a bit annoying, this was a true ending for the show, and just based on that, it put this finale in an elite company.

I just wish I would have put my thoughts "in writing" about what I believed was happening after the second or third season because I came pretty close to figuring out how the series fit into "the big picture"...

So there you have it: my week in television. Sometimes I feel guilty about all the time I spend watching TV, but weeks like these make it impossible to cut back. You never know where or when the gems will come.

SMCCC: The Frog Prince

New Chickenfoot Music

Here's a link to the Chickenfoot website. After the intro video, a media player with two new songs will play. Check them out.

Just old-fashioned, not overproduced, rock music. Satch's guitar is crunchy, Sammy's got his rock voice, and it put a smile on my face to hear Mikey's backing vocals behind Sam's lead.

http://www.chickenfoot.us/

Yet Another Stupid Network Decision

I guess offering professional wrestling and z-grade made-for-TV "horror movie" schlock wasn't enough for Sci Fi (formerly the Sci Fi Channel). They still aren't getting the "non-geeks" to watch.

So a name change is in order.

In the next few months, Sci Fi will be rebranding itself as "SyFy". I know; it's a big jump. How ever will we pronounce this new non-word?

I, honestly, don't think their troubles (if you can call having the highest ratings in your history last year "troubles") don't have much to do with being a science fiction-based channel. The problem is they've gotten too far away from what made this a great channel once.

I think maybe having shows like Battlestar Galactica will get your channel noticed. Sure, there will be some people who won't watch just because of the name, but the "geeks" of the world will get the word out about good stuff. It's not as if Battlestar was a secret to anyone as it got plenty of press.

While I watched the BSG finale last night, I caught some of the previews for new shows on the network, and not one could be mistaken as a science fiction-based show (not even the BSG "origin" show Caprica). Sure, there were a few "genre" elements, but those looked more like quirks than anything.

I like all types of shows, and I think it's a shame that this network thinks it needs to distance itself from what got it to where it is. It's a bigger shame when it's obvious that the network will try to distance itself from what it started out as. Would they give Battlestar a chance now? How about the even more science-fictiony Farscape (which was just lots of very serious fun)? Would Doctor Who get picked up?

To many networks are moving to the center (to use a political term). Bravo and A&E were two channels I used to respect until they moved into degrading reality-show garbage. Even the Cartoon Network shows live-action movies and a series here and there. AMC removed the "American Movie Classics" tag years ago and started showing very recent-- and usually bad-- movies.

Hey network heads: it's okay to be different. Ratings are down for everyone, so it's not as if making your network like everyone else's is going to the cure to your ills.

I'll just make you like everyone else.

Having standout shows is what will set you apart from the rest. There are a few science fiction shows in history that could be considered great, and there are many that you could easily compare to well-loved shows in any other genres.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this name-change will just be a name change, and the content will still stay the same. But I doubt it. When the network says they need to let people know it's not just for geeks, then you know what they're saying: the fans that got them there aren't good enough anymore.

Boo Sci Fi or SyFy or whatever the Hell you want to call yourself.

More Classy Reality Show Ladies

I can't wait for this phrase to take off...

Wait for the end of the clip where the kid talks about how cool his daddy is.

Best line I've heard all week...

Condensed SOUP; 3/19/09

Horrifying this week, kids. Horrifying...

Lex Wants His Piece of the Bailout

"Lex Luthor Bailout" with Jon Hamm from Jon Hamm

ITM: Episode 3

Why Is This So Difficult?

Maybe Ray J is looking for a little more, but I'm thinking most of these ladies would just need some chapstick, the ability to hold their breath for a while, and that half hour to impress him...

Is that wrong? I mean, seriously, these chicks are in the stupid reality-dating show genre where the criteria seems to be who can lower the bar even more.

In a few years time, I expect the idiots on these shows to just drop the pretense, strip naked, and take these guys "on a trip" within the first episode.

SMCCC: Jesus & Vishnu on Christmas

ITM: Episode 2

And here's In The Motherhood (Web) Episode 2.

Your Next BACHELOR

This dude's been unlucky in love. I think he'd be perfect...

ITM: Episode One

I've heard about the web series In The Motherhood, but I never checked it out.

Since ABC is doing their own version (minus Leah Remini and Chealsea Handler; Boo, ABC!!!) that'll be airing later this month, I thought I had better check it out.

And because I'm a great guy, here's the first webisode.
You'll never look at chapstick or display toilets the same way again.

SMCCC: Jeff Goldblum Wafers

I Love Al's Confidence in This Clip...

"Sure you can. Look close."

Mac Daddy Al...

Premieres and Notables (and a Big Finale...); March 16-22, 2009

Monday, 3/16

On How I Met Your Mother (CBS; 7:30 pm), Ted finds out that Lily may be at fault for many of his breakups.

Dhani Tackles the Globe; Travel. 8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
NFL Linebacker Dhani Jones travels the world, trying out other sports.

Kyle XY (ABC Family; 8 pm). Series Premiere.
Not happy to know ABC Family gave this "(geek) genre-friendly" the boot-- less than a year after they canned Middleman.

Battlestar Galactica: The Last Frakkin' Special; Sci Fi. 9 pm. Special.
I'll get to BSG a little later, but this is a retrospective-type special about the series.


Tuesday, 3/17

Modern Toss; IFC. 10 pm. Series premiere.
Another British sketch-comedy.


Wednesday, 3/18

Better off Ted; ABC. 8:30 pm. Series Premiere.
The show has gotten lots of play on ABC with non-stop commercials, but the reviews I've read were mixed. I'll check it out, of course (there are too few comedies out there), but I may stop watching well before it gets cancelled.



Thursday, 3/19

Bad news for The Office's (NBC; 8 pm) Michael Scott, but awesome news for us: The Wire's Idris Elba (who played drug lord Stringer Bell) appears in this first of six episodes as a new Dunder Mifflin VP who doesn't put up with the nonsense that goes on at the office. I am about as pumped for this as I have been for anything I've read about this year.


Friday, 3/20

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Cartoon Network; 8 pm). Season Finale.
Introducing bounty hunter Cad Bane.

Head Case; Starz. 9 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.
Season One was funny. Season Two expanded to 30 minute eps and wasn't as funny. I hope Season Three can find the funny in the half hour it's given.

Party Down; Starz. 9:30 pm. Series Premiere.
Rob Thomas (creator of Veronica Mars) and Paul Rudd created this comedy about six people who are in the catering business in Hollywood. I haven't gotten a chance to check it out yet (Starz OnDemand is showing the first ep now), but if I get to it before the premiere, I'll put a note in the blog. It stars the always entertaining Ken Marino (Reaper).

Battlestar Galactica (Sci Fi; 8 pm) Series Premiere.
Two last hours to wrap this series up. I have no frakkin' idea how they'll do it, but most creators/actors on the show said there is a very satisfying ending for (almost) all the characters-- and it's not an ending that anyone has predicted yet on any website.
I'm not sure if that bodes well. I want to make sure the ending makes sense and isn't just done to try to avoid the fan expectations.
And I'm not sure they'll fully explain just what the Hell Kara is, which would be a bummer.

Anyway, like I said last week, this is must-see television. Don't let the spaceships fool you-- this is one of the most thought-provoking, human shows that has ever aired. The science fiction setting is just there to do what the best science fiction does: hold a mirror up to our present selves. This show raises many, many questions about human existence that maybe have no answers; some of which I'll list here:
What constitutes a "human"? Can a machine become "human" if it acquires nearly all the same qualities of them?
Where does the line cross between good and evil? Can one fully atone for his sins?
Does religion serve a purpose? Is the hope it offers real-- or does it interfere with reality?
Are there "acceptable losses" in war? Is it okay to kill "friendlies" to kill more enemies?
What does it mean to be immortal? Can you be "human" if you are?
Are humans ultimately flawed?
Are our existences pre-determined? Are we truly free if we have a destiny to follow?
Can we escape our destiny?
Is it okay to give up our freedoms in a time of war (very intriguing question during the post-9/11 years)? Should we allow our leaders to take away our freedoms-- even if they think they are doing the right thing?


I can't say this is my favorite show of the year I watched this season (from June to now; right now, The Wire holds that title-- but that's just a mind-blowingly awesome f-ing show), and I also can't say it'll end up in my all-time Top Five (even though it's better than some of those Top Five shows), but this is high-quality television right here. Catch repeats, buy/rent/borrow the DVDs, do what it takes to experience this.


Saturday, 3/21

The Locator; WE. 8 pm. Season Premiere.


Sunday, 3/22

Big Love (HBO; 8 pm). Season Finale.

Flight of the Conchords (HBO; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Eastbound and Down (HBO; 9:30). Season Finale.
Although Danny McBride has no current plans to make a second season, so this may be it.

Like this is less embarassing than pissing in the woods...

THE SOUP Loves Toy Trains

Wait for the end of the clip. Waaaaaaiiiit for it..."

The SOUP: Britney's "Cat" Hanging Out

Someone's VERY Excited His Team Won

Even in a foreign language, this is still a classic move...

SMCCC: Marital Troubles

CONDENSED SOUP; 3/12/09

My Faith in VH1 Has Been Officially Shattered

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw this clip:






Are you kidding me?! They had a stripper on Rock of Love Bus? A stripper? I can't believe VH1 would stoop so low as this. It's a goddamn travesty.

I mean, Bret Michaels agreed to do this show as a means to find the love of his life, and the producers think a stripper is what he's looking for? I give Bret lots of props for not just walking off the show after that little display. I can tell he didn't want to draw too much attention to the situation and elected to pretend to be really into the stripper pole dance instead of embarrassing anyone, and that just shows what a classy guy Bret is.

Bravo to Bret Michaels and boo to VH1.

SMCCC: Barry Gibb Rides a Roller Coaster

Backstage on Britney's Tour

Not terribly funny-- but terrible things happen to Brit, so, you know...

SMCCC: Cat Staff Meeting

Premieres and Notables; March 9-15, 2009

Monday, 3/9

Dancing With the Stars; ABC. 7 pm CST. Season Premiere.
Ugh...

That '70s Show's Laura Prepon shows up on How I Met Your Mother (CBS; 7:30) playing one of Ted's old flames from college. And you know what that means, right? Yep, some scenes from Ted, Marshall, and Lily's college days.

John Glover guest stars as Sylar's father on Heroes (NBC; 8:00).

Castle; ABC. 9:02. Series Premiere.
Nathan Fillion stars as an author who teams up with a cop (Stana Katic) to solve crimes. And if the barely believable premise didn't sell you, I understand the two flirt quite a bit (gotta have sexual tension), which I'm sure will be stretched out way beyond its interesting parts. The uninteresting-sounding show must be why TV Guide didn't even list the show in its premiere pages (just kidding-- other pure shit gets mentioned).
It's too bad we've seen shows like this a million times before. And it's a crime that Fillion got stuck on another doomed series.


Wednesday, 3/11

The Chopping Block; NBC. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
British chef Marco Pierre stars in this reality competition about... food!

Ghost Hunters; Sci Fi. 8 pm. 5th Season Premiere.

South Park; Comedy Central. 9 pm. 13th Season Premiere.
Season 12 was a big disappointment for me. Hopefully Stone and Parker get back to what they once did better than anyone else.


Thursday, 3/12

Kath & Kim (NBC; 7:30). Season Finale.
I'm willing to bet money they meant Series Finale.

Warriors; History. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Host Terry Schappert explores the world of warrior people. First up are the Vikings.


Friday, 3/13

Wife Swap (ABC; 7 pm) celebrates its 100th episode.
Really? It sure doesn't seem like this show has been on forever.

Jockeys (Animal Planet; 8:30). Season Finale.
Wow-- that season didn't seem to last long...

Battlestar Galactica (Sci Fi; 9 pm) airs the first of its two-part series finale. I won't recommend starting to watch it now if you haven't seen it before, but for those of us who have been watching (or crammed the entire series into a six-month DVD watching spree like I did) are both excited and sad to know this is the end. Questions will be answered, the story will be tied up-- and then it will be gone.
I hope to write a bit more about the series later, but don't let that stop you from buying/borrowing the DVD sets now. Or maybe checking the schedule to see if it reairs from the beginning. This is one of the best sci fi television-- no, check that-- one of the best television shows ever. Highly Recommended.


Saturday, 3/14

Will Ferrell: You're Welcome America. A Final Night With George W. Bush; HBO. 8 pm. Special.
The show has been a hit on Broadway. I'm not if we need to see it at this (moot) point, but HBO must think something's there.

The Graham Norton Show; BBC America. 9 pm. Season Premiere.


Sunday, 3/15

Kings; NBC. 7 pm. Series premiere.
The amazing Ian McShane (Deadwood; but I hope like Hell you already knew that) stars in this "reimagining" of the story of David (from the Bible). I've heard the series itself has a cliche or two too many, but that McShane is a wonder to watch. There are lots of great actors on TV right now-- but McShane is in the cream of that crop. If you haven't watched him work, check this show out.

Will Ferrell guest stars again in Eastbound and Down (HBO; 9:30 pm) as car sales dealer Ashley Schaeffer.

THE BACHELOR DVD Commentary

Awesome--

Condensed SOUP, 3/5/09

Sammy Gets LOUD

Old school, kick-ass rock and roll by Sammy Hagar, Michael Anthony, Billy Duffy and Matt Sorum. It's not horribly original, but there's nothing wrong with borrowing a sound from the good old days. And it contains one of my favorite lines in any song: "I remember ol' What's-'er-Name."

Courtesy of Sammy's latest album Cosmic Universal Fashion.

SMCCC: A Scotsman Who Still Can't Watch a Movie...

SOUP Beauty

Some more Soup for you...




And, okay, I'm gonna go there:
Did anyone else think "money shot" during Joel's photo shoot, or am I the only one that demented?

SOUP Clip; 2/27/09

If you didn't catch The Soup this past weekend, here's a little taste of Chat Stew...

SMCCC: Two Ducks Watch "Meet the Parents"

The ONION Reports on New Sony Product

The level of vulgarity in this is both stunning and amusing...


Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work

What they do in Cincy when there are no accidents to report.

Classic...

Premieres and Notables; March 2-8, 2009

Monday, 3/2

The Bachelor (ABC; 7 pm CST). Season Finale.

Rules of Engagement; CBS. 8:30. Season Premiere.

Ax Men; History. 9 pm. Season Premiere.

Harlem Heights; BET. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Eight people in their twenties and their lives in New York City in this reality show.

Jimmy Fallon begins his gig on Conan's old show. Late Night With Jimmy Fallon airs on NBC at 11:35 pm CST.


Tuesday, 3/3

Reaper; CW. 7 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.
Sam's life falls apart in the premiere of this underrated show. Recommended

Nip/Tuck (FX; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Wednesday, 3/4

America's Next Top Model; The CW. 7 pm. Season Premiere.

Make Me a Supermodel; Bravo. 9 pm. Season Premiere.


Thursday, 3/5

Burn Notice (USA; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Saturday, 3/7

Ashes to Ashes; BBC America. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
This sequel-of-sorts to the original U.K. version of Life on Mars where a British female detective from 2008 finds herself in 1981.


Sunday, 3/8

The L Word (Showtime; 8 pm). Series Finale.

Breaking Bad; AMC. 9 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.

FD: Catching Up With Xander Pt 2

"Is it called Check me out I suck?"

Best line ever.

FD: Catching Up With Xander Pt 1

More Frisky Dingo. Xander has disappeared for a year after Killface's attempt to destroy the planet actually stopped global warming. Now a documentary crew has found him.

This is all a set-up for Pt 2.

Mandatory Viewing

Just caught the latest episode of HBO's Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel, and I was very excited to see a follow-up to the Kyle Lograsso story from almost two years ago.

Kyle is a boy all of six who has a golf swing identical to Tiger Woods'. He developed it from watching Woods on TV-- before he was two years old. That makes his story amazing enough, but there's more that's happened to this young boy that shows he is remarkable even beyond that.

This is amazing televison. Fifteen of the most incredible minutes you'll ever experience. This is why I love TV-- and is also why I chose Real Sports as one of my top 10 TV shows of 2006. (And it would have also been in the top in 2007 had I done a list that year.)

The show is always cream of the crop-- and I say this as someone who doesn't follow sports hardly at all. This is just plain, great television. I watched the original story four times before I finally deleted it from the DVR, and the follow-up story this episode brought tears to my eyes the exact same way it did back then.

You owe it to yourself to check it out. It airs over a dozen times in the next ten days, or you should also be able to check it out on HBO OnDemand.

I tried finding a video clip on YouTube, Hulu, and HBO.com and found clips of the show in general pretty rare. But I did run across a low-quality video from the first airing that you can watch below.

Kyle Lograsso @ Yahoo! Video

And now that you cheated and watched this story on your computer instead of on TV, watch the follow-up story at home-- or do it at someone else's home who has HBO.

Cool Commercial

I don't watch commercials anymore. I watch all my TV on DVD, DVR, or on videotape. Each allows me to fast-forward through the commericals which is great for a couple of reasons: most commericials are lame as Hell, and I also save 25% of my time skipping through them.

But once in a while I miss a good one. This is one I happened to catch by accident. You've probably seen it, but watch it again. It's great.

Condensed SOUP; 2/26/09

SMCCC: Adopted

SMCCC: Bob Marley is No Attorney

Get HIGH

You know when you're excited about a show coming out on DVD?

When you keep humming the theme song all day long at work.

Check out Summer Heights High, out on DVD tomorrow. Get it for $25 at deepdiscount.com or for $20 at bestbuy.com (or presumably at the stores for the same price).

This Australian import by way of HBO is brilliantly acted and written-- and it's painful to watch in a (U.K.) The Office kind of way.

This 8-episode series justified my subscribing to HBO this year. For real.

Here's a trailer for the show:


Writer/star Chris Lilley plays three characters in this mockumentary.
The transformation he made for each is astounding.


First up is vain, delusional Mr. G:



Now meet troubled Jonah:



And the most amazing transformation. This is Ja'ime:

SMCCC: Mario Rescues the Princess

SMCCC: A Scotsman Who Can't Watch a Movie...

FAMILY GUY: Peter Meets Christian Bale

Okay, Bale's been vilified over this more than enough already.
-- But this is so damn funny...

Something to make the OSCARS more interesting

Check out Mickey O'Connor's Drinking Game .

And the funniest thing is: at least 75% of those things will happen.

Premieres and Notables; Feb. 23-Mar 1, 2009

Monday, 2/23

True Beauty (ABC; 9 pm CST). Season Finale.

The Closer (TNT; 8 pm). Season Finale.


Tuesday, 2/24

Dark Days in Monkey City; Animal Planet. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
I couldn't put the premise into words, so I'll let Entertainment Weekly's Jessica Shaw do it:
"This animation-enhanced docudrama chronicles the final days of an aging ruler of a tribe of Sri Lankan toque macaques, and the pregnant underling hoping to save her baby amid the power shift. Monkey is all very Shakespearean... and the story is rife with betrayal, adultery, and jealousy."
[If you didn't know, a toque macaque is a type of primate...]

Leverage (TNT; 9 pm). Season Finale.

10 Items or Less (TBS; 10 pm). Season Finale.


Wednesday, 2/25

America's Next Top Model; The CW. 7 pm. 12th Season Premiere.

Top Chef: New York (Bravo; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Thursday, 2/26

The Chris Isaak Hour; BIO. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Isaak gets his own chatfest. First up: Trisha Yearwood.


Saturday, 2/28

America; Lifetime. 8 pm. Movie.
Rosie O'Donnell stars in this movie about a boy who makes his way through the foster care system. I'll guarantee two things about this Lifetime movie: 1. it'll try to make you cry and 2. it'll somehow be a man's fault.


Sunday, 3/1

Running in Heels; Style. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
A "reality soap" [kinda like The Hills?] about three fashion interns who work at Marie Claire.

Jesse Stone: Thin Ice; CBS. 8 pm. Movie.
Tom Selleck stars in his fifth movie based on the Robert B. Parker novels.

The Celebrity Apprentice; NBC. 8 pm. Season Premiere.
Ugh...

The Weather is SOUP

The AMAZING SOUP

SOUPy Hannah McHale

Condensed SOUP; 2/20/09

I Guess They're Sticking With The Name

For a year or so, Sammy Hagar has been talking about the supergroup he's in with Michael Anthony, Joe Satriani, and Chad Smith. He always used the codename they had for themselves until they came up with something better. But based on this intro video, I'm going to guess they didn't come up with another name.

Check out the vid. Weird-- but ultimately funny. And stay for the end to hear a little music...

http://www.chickenfoot.us/

Sorry for the link instead of an embedded video. The embed code doesn't seem to be working (at least Blogger's not accepting it as being valid).

SMCCC: Dog on $25K Pyramid

Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy

Periodically, I watch a few of the SMCoCC (look at the title 'cause I'm not typing it again) shorts, and think "I should post these."

Well, there are now enough that I can post one every few days for the next couple of weeks.

Some are hits, some are misses, but few are longer than 2 minutes, so they're worth watching...

Enjoy.

A Little Late: Condensed SOUP for Feb 5

Premieres and Notables; Feb. 16-22, 2009

Monday, 2/16

Spectacular! Nickelodeon. 7 pm. Movie.
Nick gets into the High School Musical business about three years too late in this made-for-TV movie.
Nikko Alexander is a rocker who's gotten dumped by his girl and his band. Now someone gives him an offer to further his career via a high school show choir.
Will he take it? And, more importantly, will he get the girl by the end credits?
I'm guessing yes.

Andy Richter and Jenny McCarthy guest star on Chuck (NBC; 7 pm), and I'll predict that will be a good thing.

Worst Week (CBS; 8:30). Season finale.
Okay, this looks to the week, assuming the president doesn't address the nation in prime time again.


Tuesday, 2/17

I guess it's about time for people/fans to give a rats ass about American Idol (FOX; 7 pm): they can finally vote.

Real Housewives of Orange County (Bravo; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Real Housewives of New York City; Bravo. 10 pm. Season Premiere.
Geez, Bravo won't even give you a chance to cleanse your palate...


Wednesday, 2/18

Old Christine gets a new friend on The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS; 7 pm). The friend is played by Kristen Johnson, who I've found to be a bit (sometimes a lot) over-the-top in a lot of her work. But considering how Julia Louis-Dreyfuss plays Christine almost over-the-top (yet somehow manages to not go completely over), I'm curious to see what happens here.

Little Miss Perfect; WE tv. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
A reality show featuring contestants in a kiddie pageant.
I think my head is going to explode.
Will you people-- whoever you are-- stop watching this crap? The reason why networks keep airing garbage like this is because you sheep keep watching it.

High School Reunion; TV Land. 9 pm. Season Premiere.
Chandler, AZ's class of '88 have a reunion in Hawaii-- and the cameras are coming along too.
Seriously, people, you need to stop watching this stuff.


Thursday, 2/19

Being Erica; SOAPnet. 9 pm. Series Debut.
A woman in her 30's travels back in time to try to re-do her regrets.
[This is getting scary: the number of TV shows and comic books that have somehow gotten into my brain and picked plot ideas of the fantastical comic book series I've been writing in my head the past 15 years.]
[Oh, and before you think writing a comic series in my head is weird, I can guarantee almost every single comic book fan does/has done the same thing.]


Friday, 2/20

Monk (USA; 8 pm). Season Finale.

Psych (USA; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Real Time With Bill Maher; HBO. 9 pm. Season Premiere.
Now this is worth watching just to see what he'll do now that the man he dubbed (and I also have been known to use the name for him myself) "President ShitForBrains" is no longer in office.

The Soup Awards; E!. 9:30 pm. Special.
I don't know what it'll be about other than "unrecognized members of the entertainment industry" will get their props.
Oh-- I also know it'll be funny. Guaranteed.

Conan O'Brien signs off from Late Night With Conan O'Brien (NBC; 11:35 pm) after fifteen years. Not bad for a guy most didn't think would last a year in the gig.
He'll be taking over The Tonight Show on June 1.


Saturday, 2/21

Independent Spirit Awards; IFC. 4 pm CST. Special

Taking Chance; HBO. 7 pm. Movie.
Kevin Bacon stars as a Marine officer who transports the body of a young soldier killed in Iraq to his Wyoming hometown.


Sunday, 2/22

The Barbara Walters Special; ABC. 6 pm. Special.
Ms. Walters' guests for this 28th pre-Oscar show special: Mickey Rourke (acting nominee), Hugh Jackman (host), Anne Hathaway (acting nominee), and the Jonas Brothers (WTF).
Are you fucking kidding me, Babs? There was no person even remotely Oscar-related you could have found instead? Kate Winslet's dress designer? Jack Nicholson's driver? The guy who cleans up after Tom Cruise's dog?
(For the record: I have no idea if Tom has a dog.)

The 81st Academy Awards; ABC. 7 pm. Special.
Who cares? I stopped watching five or so years ago. Once coverage became almost strictly about the fashions and nonsense like that, I found myself watching less and less and fast-forwarding through the show more and more. And then the whole build-up... Do we need six hours (roughly) of "pre-game" analysis-- on multiple cable networks? And all the marketing campaign bullshit that goes into an award that is supposed to be just about the artistic value of a film or performance...
And every year, there are crimes. People/films win awards that should not have been nominated, and people/films that should have been nominated don't get nominated.

That being said, I'd like to thank the Academy for fucking up again this year and not nominating The Dark Knight for Best Picture or Christopher Nolan for Best Director. Really, Academy? Really?
How can they even take themselves seriously with an omission like that?

No, I'm not going to waste the DVR space this year and take my (very long) chances that I won't miss anything. And if I do, there's always an ever-increasing array of websites that will show video clips of the good stuff.

Condensed SOUP; 2/11/09

Blog Changes

As you've no doubt noticed, I've tweaked the format of this blog a little.

First, the most obvious change: I'm trying out a new layout. I liked the simplicity, yet not emptiness of the other layout, but I didn't like how narrow the blog post area was. Now, hopefully, the videos I post will show the entire screen. And I like that what I type is spaced out a little. I hope to write more "essays" in the future, so I think the extra room I have makes things look a little cleaner.

But I do notice there's a lot of white space for this layout, so I may change to another before I'm satisfied.

The second big change: I decided to establish this blog in the blogger.com arena as having mature content. So now you have to click on a link saying you understand this has mature content and that you want to continue to my page. Sorry for the trouble, but I've been having a tough time deciding if what I write or videos I post may be going "too far". I have no idea how many people read this (beside three for sure), and I have no idea who is reading it.

I'm not planning on including foul language in every post, but I want the option if I like what I'm writing or linking to. I'm 36, and I figure anyone over the age of 18 can appreciate the fact that some things that have the f-bomb are funny/interesting.

And, hey, I love The Wire and Deadwood, two of the most vulgar shows of recent years, but I also love Phineas and Ferb, one of the kid-friendliest shows on the air. Giving the "mature" tag allows me the freedom to write what I want, so I hope you're okay with it.

Any ideas, comments, complaints? Let me know if you think this tweaked blog sucks, or if you think it's going in the right direction.

Where'd You Get That Hat?

Here's another The Wire clip; this time from Season 3.

I just saw this episode and fell in love with this scene that has nothing to do with anything, and is funny as Hell.






What I find genius about it is that everyone in the scene played it straight. No smiles, no sarcasm-- nothing. You have no idea the cop was messing with the kid other than the subject matter was ridiculous.

THE WIRE Crime Scene

I've been watching HBO's brilliant The Wire season by season over the past half year, and I ran across this clip of one of the most ingenius scenes I've seen thus far in the show. I was halfway through it when I watched the episode before I realized the two were using variations of only one word the entire time. I hope it doesn't seem gratuitous out of context; try to see the geniusness of the actors as they get through the scene.

The plot: McNulty and Bunk decide to take a second look at a murder scene that had not been closed.

And, uh, if you've wondered why I now have a "mature content" screen you need to agree to before getting to my blog, this clip should be a good indication...

Drugs Will Do That to You...

Normally I wouldn't perpetuate what has got to be a hoax (or a plea for help from the mind-alerting power of drugs), but David Letterman's increasing attempts to pop Joaquin Phoenix's bullshit bubble is pretty good.

Make sure you watch until the end, when Dave stops even trying to be civil...

Why I Dig SUNNY

Some clips from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.



Warning: grown-up language/situations in here.

(Also a lot of childish ones as well.)


Frank and Charlie find poop in their bed.



My favorite beginning to any scene. Mac rules.



Mac pulls teeth to fake Charlie's death...



Mac and Charlie interview for a job.

Premieres and Notables; Feb 9-15, 2009

Monday, 2/9

Top Gear; BBC America. 7 pm. Season Premiere.

Worst Week (CBS; 8:30 pm). Season Finale.
Or so Entertainment Weekly says...


Tuesday, 2/10

Wingman; Fine Living. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Comic Michael Somerville shows some people the ropes when it comes to love.

On Leverage (TNT; 9 pm CST-- not a bad show, BTW), some former Star Trek series actors (Brent Spiner-- Data, Armin Shimerman-- Quark, and Kitty Swink-- Luaran) play guest roles in an episode directed by Jonathan Frakes-- Riker.


Wednesday, 2/11

Important Things With Dimitri Martin; Comedy Central. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
I guess Martin is a comedian, and his show has a different theme each episode. The debut is about "timing".


Thursday, 2/12

Survivor: Tocantins; CBS. 7 pm. Season Premiere.
Host Jeff Propst said this season is in the Top Five of the history of the show.
Then again, that's like a musician saying his latest album is the best work he's ever done.
(I mean, seriously, how often does that happen?)

The Millionaire Matchmaker; Bravo. 9 pm. Season Premiere.
And again Bravo brings out the best in entertainment...

Xavier: Renegade Angel; [adult swim]. 11:15. Season Premiere.


Friday, 2/13

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles; FOX. 7 pm CST; midseason return, new night.

Dollhouse; FOX. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
A secret organization custom-makes operatives for each assignment by implanting personalities into them. One of the operatives begins to remember her past lives. It stars Eliza Dushku in a role tailor-made to show off her acting skills. And if that wasn't enough, it's created by Joss Whedon. The show can end up being a grand slam, or a dud, but it's worth recommending just from the talent involved.


Saturday, 2/14

Battle of the Bods; FOX Reality Channel. 9 pm. Season Premiere.

Christopher Titus: Love is Evol; Comedy Central. 9 pm. Special.
I loved Titus' self-titled show, and I've dug his previous stand-up specials, so I'm looking forward to this one.


Sunday, 2/15

Amazing Race 14; CBS. 7 pm. 14th Season Premiere.

Eastbound and Down; HBO. 9:30 pm. Series Premiere.
Danny McBride stars as a washed-up ballplayer who goes back to his hometown to be a phys ed teacher. I've heard good things about this show. It's worth checking out.

Condensed SOUP; 1/29/09

Pupcakes

This is just freaky...