Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Some More SID Earth Day Stuff

I was informed that a website was created for the Earth Day episode of Sid the Science Kid I mentioned in this week's Premieres and Notables post.

Designed for parents or teachers of young people, it gives a little help on getting kids interested in the small-"e" earth. It's about dirt, baby!

http://pbskids.org/sid/parentsteachers/earthday.html


Remember, it's never too early to get people thinking about the planet...

4/20 "Enhancement Smoker"

4/20 Wooderson

4/20 Smokey

4/20 Dale & Saul

4/20 Cheech & Chong

4/20 Spicoli

4/20 Kumar

I didn't get time for this until just now.

At least it's still 4/20 in MST and PST, even though I missed it in EST and CST.

SOUP's On; Hamsters, Deafness, and Reege

Monday, April 20, 2009

Tyra Knows Her Nuts

I don't know what's worse.
That Tyra is obviously falling down a bottomless pit of "Are you shitting me?" with things she thinks is interesting or funny-- or that enough people watch this crap that they keep renewing her shows.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Premieres, Finales, and Notables; April 20-26, 2009

Monday, 4/20

Nothing new of importance. It is 4/20, after all.
Grab some Cheetos and your favorite movies and kick back.

Okay, so there is one premiere:

Cash Cab; Discovery. 5:30 pm. Season Premiere.
This is episode 250 as well.


Tuesday, 4/21

Eco Trip: The Real Cost of Living; Sundance. 8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Host David de Rothschild investigates the life cycles of things like chocolate, gold, and salmon. Sounds heavy and guilt-filled, but it seems as if de Rothschild takes the green approach like I do: by preaching small steps. Doing just a couple of things differently is better than nothing.


Wednesday, 4/22

The most important thing is it's Earth Day. Like I said earlier, just do a couple of things differently, at least for today, and try to think about the impact those things had on our planet. Take a walk outside-- or at least look outside as you drive by. I'm the opposite of an outdoorsy guy (my TV/movie watching habits pretty much preclude outdoor activities), but I know that my TV rests on a cabinet on my floor in my house on my planet.

First off, I was fortunate enough to preview a screener of today's Sid the Science Kid (PBS; check local listings) episode. Titled "The Dirt On Dirt", Sid and his friends explore what dirt is, what it's made of, and what it's good for.
Seriously, what better topic for their Earth Day episode could they have chosen but, literally, earth?
If you've got children between the ages of three and five (younger kids would have a tough time with the concept, and older kids would get bored with the presentation), this episode is a good one to let them watch. It lays everything out in a very simple manner and very subtly lays the foundation for future Earth-centered thinking by reminding kids that the Earth is where we live and that it's important to take care of it.
So give it a try if you've got little people in your house. I like the episode, but it really is targeted for the 3-5 year-old out there...

Earth Report: State of the Planet 2009; National Geographic Channel. 7 pm. Special.
I think you can ascertain what this is about...


Thursday, 4/23

Trouble the Water; HBO. 7:30 pm. Movie.
This documentary about New Orleans before, during, and after Hurricane Katrina hit was nominated for an Oscar.

The Beast (A&E; 9 pm). Season Finale.
That show is still airing? Seriously, I've heard nothing about it since the premiere.

And while I avoid VH1 like the plague (why? well, let's see; there's a new reality dating show featuring a Rock of Love cast-off premiering this week), I'll point out that the hilarious It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia cast will be appearing on Free Radio (10 pm) tonight.


Friday, 4/24

Iron Man: Armored Adventures; Nicktoons. 6 pm. Series Premiere.
The super-hero that got me hooked on comics almost 30 years ago gets a new animated series. But on this show, Tony is a teenager (let's just say this idea didn't work so well in the comics) who is dealing with his father's death while kicking butt in an armored suit.


Saturday, 4/25

Ashes to Ashes (BBC America; 8 pm). Season Finale.


Sunday, 4/26

King of the Hill (FOX; 6:30 pm) celebrates its 250th episode as Hank has to decide if he wants to grant Cotton's request to flush his ashes down the toilet.
...I miss Cotton...

TV Land Awards; TV Land. 7 pm. Special.
I have no idea what this is about other than giving props to old shows. Could be worth watching for nostalgia. And the host of the special is Neil Patrick Harris, so there's always his awesomeness to soak up. (And for further awesomeness, it's rumored that Harris may pull some Oscar-inspired "Billy Crystal" moments and appear in some of the old footage of shows.)

Leader of the Pack; HGTV. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
I have no idea what this means, but here's what Entertainment Weekly wrote:
"A family chooses one dog out of eight to keep as a pet."
Is this an 8-part series that "eliminates" a dog every week, or a show that features a new family and a new set of dogs every week? I have no idea.

Future Earth; MSNBC. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
This show looks at life in the near-future. Like how part of New York City will be under water if we continue to live as we do now.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Friday, April 17, 2009

Thursday, April 16, 2009

SOUP's On; 4/10/09, Clip #2

These clips all have something to do with sex. Try to make the connection...

Maybe Han Wasn't Full of Shit...

It's entirely possible this has been addressed in one of the scads of novels or comic books (or even video games) based on Star Wars, but I had a brainstorm earlier today that could prove that Han's mistake of bragging about how fast his ship was in A New Hope was not, in fact, a mistake.

Much has been made of Han's faux pas by claiming his ship was so fast it made the Kessel Run in twelve parsecs. A parsec is a measurement of distance.

We all assume Han was incredibly ignorant (or thinking Ben and Luke were) by boasting about the speed of his ship by using a measurement of distance instead of time (what we'd expect), but what if distance was a more impressive measurement for that particular run?

Let's say it's a very dangerous trip, and pilots normally have to take a longer route to avoid asteroids or gravity wells or black holes or whatever, and Han's reckless (combining skill and his usual luck) piloting allowed him to turn it into a shorter one. Maybe he skirted one or multiple dangers more closely than his contemporaries did, and that's why it's an impressive feat.

How about that, hunh? Genius.


You know, back in The Day at Marvel Comics, when a fan explained a mistake away like that, he got a No Prize (which is exactly what it was, a "no prize"-- other than it was mentioned in the letter column). Maybe I should get an honorary No Prize for this...


Oh, goddammit!

My genius has again been bested. As I searched to verify it was twelve parsecs before I hit "publish post", I ran across this website: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Kessel_Run.

So much for cementing my own little place in Star Wars geekdom...

Condensed SOUP; 4/16

Hey! They actually posted it early this week!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

It completely amazes me...

...that people watch this shit.

SOUP's On; 4/10 clip

Even if you watched this episode, it's still worth it for the very last line of the clip...

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Ricky & Elmo

This is so wrong-- and so funny...

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Future Reality Show "Stars"

Premieres and Notables; April 13-19, 2009

Monday, 4/13

Closet Cases; FLN. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Oprah-approved stylist Lloyd Boston visits people and gives them inexpensive makeovers.

Saving Grace (TNT; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Tuesday, 4/14

Deadliest Catch; Discovery. 8 pm. Season Premiere.


Wednesday, 4/15

The Cougar; TV Land. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
A forty-year-old woman tries to land a younger man in this reality-love competition.

Pitchmen; Discovery. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Billy Mays and Anthony Sullivan mentor inventors with wacky products to sell.


Thursday, 4/16

Sorry I didn't mention Southland (NBC; 9 pm) premiered last week. I blame TV Guide for not putting the news on anything I'd look at (they only have two spots in their weekly mag that has notable episodes).


Friday, 4/17

Johnny Depp voices surfing guru, Jack Kahuna Luna, on Spongebob Squarepants (Nickelodeon; 7 pm).

Prison Break; FOX. 8 pm. Series Return.
The show is back for its final six episodes of the series.
A friend sent me the news that the show will end, and then the series will be wrapped up in a direct-to-DVD movie this summer. Ugh...
The news may not be completely bad, as another website I checked said it wasn't yet confirmed the movie would not air.
Here's the only video clip I could find for the final episodes:





Stranger Among Bears; Animal Planet. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
I have no idea...


Saturday, 4/18

Grey Gardens; HBO. 7 pm. Special.
Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore star in this made-for-TV movie, which has gotten some pretty reviews.


Sunday, 4/19

Sit Down, Shut Up; FOX. 7:30 pm. Series Premiere.
A new animated series set in a Florida High School by Mitch Hurwitz, the creator of Arrested Development. Some of the featured voices are by Will Arnet, Jason Bateman, and Henry Winkler-- who all worked together on that series, in case you've forgotten.



HEY! Maria Bamford is on the show, too. We went to the same high school. I'm not claiming to have known her (I was 4-5 grades younger than her), but I'm mentioning it because I think it's cool-- and I always make sure to check out her work (sometimes she's on Comedy Central specials).

Condensed SOUP; 4/10/09

Highest Possible Recommendation

So I just finished the fifth and final season of The Wire and I feel compelled to write something.

It's late, I've had a long week, and I am fried, but this show has grabbed me the past two months, and this final season I spent the past few nights watching has actually messed up my sleep (I go to bed and lay there for hours because this show and its characters have hooked me unlike almost anything else I've ever encountered).

I've talked up the show a bit lately, but I'm going to do it again because it's worth it.

Season Three was brilliant. I would say (and have said) it's one of the best seasons of TV I've ever seen, and anyone who's read this blog or knows me knows I watch a shitload of TV, so I know what I'm talking about.

Season Four-- amazingly-- was even better. It not only told a typically wonderful story, but it also laid a very emotional tie to some of the characters.

Season Five took a gigantic chance that paid off. It may not have been as sexy as the previous two seasons, but it wound stories around lies that snowballed until they became avalanches. By the end of the penultimate episode, my jaw was on the floor, and I thought "There is no way this season can end in just a single episode."

But it did. Masterfully. But that wasn't good enough; the finale also ended the series perfectly.

I always have a qualm or three about a series finale. Either the finale has a plot or character that comes out of left field to tie things up with a bow, or the show decides to do its own thing and bites off more than it can chew, or it just decides it really could never deliver what the show or fans would be satisfied with, so it does whatever the Hell it wants.

Not The Wire. It ended its fifth season just as it did the previous four: with a real ending that fit the season. And then it pushed the characters into the next phases of their lives. Some ended up happier, some a little sadder, and one blew my mind as he took on a role I never could have expected and took on the mantle held by another who was killed.

Some finales satisfy me emotionally. Some satisfy me as a fan. Others satisfy me because they remain true to the show. The finale of The Wire satisfied me on all levels.

McNulty, Avon, Stringer, Ronnie, Bunk, Freamon, Prez, Mike, Dukie, Bodie, Marlo, Slim, Cheese, Cutty, Snoop, Chris, Randy, Naymond, WeeBey, D', Carcetti, Daniels, Narese, Bubbles, Herc, Carv, Beadie, Sydnor, Prop Joe, Deacon, Sharron, Johnny, Rawls, Burrell, Clay, Kima, Levy, Bunny, Poot, Bug, Templeton, Valchek, Gus, Omar...

Fuckin' Omar...

Forty-four names I pulled out of my head just now. I didn't need to check imdb.com for a cast list. They are right there; in my head-- in my heart. Some are good guys, some are bad guys, and most of them are a mix of both. Good people who make bad mistakes. Bad people who do the right thing once in a while. Forty-four characters I can just name without reference. And the thing is, there are at least a half-dozen whose faces I see in my head but whose names I can't remember (this show wasn't one for name-checking every character every episode). And because I watched the first two seasons last summer before I really "got" the show, there's probably two dozen more names I can't even remember from those episodes.

Listen, I've written it before, and I'm going to again-- and I probably will at some point even later than now as well-- this is television of the highest quality. This is the type of show that can change your entire perception of what television can be. The DVD sets are priced per standard HBO rates (too high), so borrow them from the library or a rich friend or watch them as they air on HBO OnDemand (you still might catch Season Two). Or put them in your NetFlix queue. Or save your pennies up like I'm going to and try to catch every sale you can until you own them all.

If you like television and look for the best possible shows, you owe it to yourself to watch this series.

Trust me. You will not be disappointed.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Tetrazzini Seduction

This woman knows the deadly art of food seduction...

HOMEWRECKER!!!

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Dear John: Steroids

I'll be posting these Dear John Witherspoon videos from the Boondocks Bootleg website the next few weeks.

Vulgar, but funny.


Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Taco Hottie

Damn cops. Always trying to bring you down.

(I hope he made her to the alcohol test; just to make this moron even later to her important thing.)

Gary's Looking For a New Agent

Monday, April 06, 2009

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Thank God Atheists Don't Rule the World

Yes, these actual Findamentalist quotes are taken out of context; I get that. But even in context, these still have to sound pretty bad/ignorant coming out of someone's mouth. Some of this is just patently ridiculous...

I'm not trying to start anything here; I just find it interesting. And funny; I admit: I find it kinda funny.

If you want equal-time for the other side of this argument, go find a post that makes evolutionists and atheists (who are not mutually exclusive, BTW) look like morons. I'm sure a Google search will come up with thousands of hits.

If you're a Fundamentalist and you don't want to think about what the other side believes, I recommend passing this post on and watching another.

I post lots of vids, it'll be okay if one gets missed...


A gal's got to be good at something...

Well, Vanessa certainly is Pretty Wicked...


Saturday, April 04, 2009

UNUSUALS Correction

And in what must to be Reason #25 or so of why TV Guide sucks:

The listing that ABC's Unusuals premiered on Monday, 4/6, is incorrect. It actually begins on Wednesday, 4/8 at 9:02 pm.

Since it's a pain to cut and paste in Blogger-- and the post is now three or four deep from this one-- I figured I'd just make the note here. Plus, I had to be cute and embed a video, which will just make things messier to change now.

Portia Apologizes

Sarcasm rules!

Rapping Flight Attendant

SOUP's On: FAST AND FURIOUS

Premieres, Finales, and Notables; April 6-12, 2009

Gonna try something new here. Hope it works...

Monday, 4/6


Antiques Roadshow; BBC America. 11 am. Season Premiere.

One of my favorite TV actors, Scott Bakula, shows up on Chuck (NBC; 7:00 pm CST).


Surviving Suburbia; ABC. 8:32 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Bob Saget stars as the father of a family who lives in the suburbs.
Seriously, that's all I know (other than it's a comedy).




The Unusuals; ABC. 9:02 pm. Series Premiere.
Another one I don't know much about other than it stars Amber Tamblyn (who was excellent in Joan of Arcadia) and Adam Goldberg (who's been great in everything) as unusual cops who take on unusual cases.




Tuesday, 4/7

Trust Me (TNT; 8 & 9 pm). Season Finale.

Rescue Me; FX. 9 pm. Season Premiere.


Wednesday, 4/8

Mythbusters; Discovery. 8 pm. Season Premiere.
Great show. Learn while watching things get blown up.

Dinner: Impossible; Food. 9 pm. Season Premiere.

High School Reunion (TV Land; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire; Comedy Central. 9:30. Series Premiere.
A spoof of the epic fantasy genre. Because it airs on Comedy Central, I'll "go out on a limb" and will guess it's probably too silly and the jokes will be like a club (not at all subtle).


Thursday, 4/9

Parks & Recreation; NBC. 7:30. Series Premiere.
Amy Poehler plays a politician in a small Indiana town.

Harper's Island; CBS. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
A thirteen-episode murder mystery where one guest of a wedding is killed every week. I thought the concept was intriguing, but Matt Roush (a critic I trust) gave it a pretty bad review. I guess it's not only boring, but silly.


Friday, 4/10

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (FOX; 7 pm). Season Finale.
Last I heard, its odds for a third season are slim...

Friday Night Lights (NBC; 8 pm). Season Finale.
DirectTV and NBC just announced there will be a 4th and a 5th season (both 13 eps each)-- even though both are expected to lose money to produce and air it. I think that should tell us all something: watch this show if you haven't yet (I plan on catching up this summer).


Saturday, 4/11

Groomer Has It; Animal Planet. 8 pm. Season Premiere.


Sunday, 4/12

Tracey Ullman's State of the Union; Showtime. 9 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.

The Discovery Channel kicks off "Alaska Week" with the Bear Attack (9 pm) special.

Friday, April 03, 2009

Geez-- You'd Think the Guy Had Killed Someone or Something

He took a little pot. BFD.

Funny how NBC had its lips on his ass all August, but is more than happy to rake this guy over the coals now.

Nice bit of blindsiding him about the interview in 2004, Matt. D-bag...


Condensed SOUP; 4/3/09

SMCCC: The Bartender Says

Thursday, April 02, 2009

No One Does It Better

From The Wire:

Clay Davis... Senator... B'More Power Broker...

And Master of the Universe when it comes to saying "shit".

I love this.



F-ing awesome. Here's another:



And why I hate politicians:

Basketball Coaches + Metallica + Guitar Hero = Mild Amusement

Admiring a Man Who Loves His Job

What other job would cause the words he associates with being lucky actually being a good thing to find?

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

He Goes By Many Names

If you watch The Soup, you'll find this especially funny.

Chiiiiicken... Nuggets...

I love these guys already.

Maybe Her Name Should Have Been The First Clue...

There are just so many whacked-out things about this clip:
1. The tattoo on her face.
2. The fact that they'd ask that question on a dating competition.
3. The fact that they do the ridiculous lie detector in the first place.
4. The thumbs-up the lie detector conductor gives at the end (okay, that was pretty funny).



Oh yeah-- her name is Danger, if you didn't catch it during the clip.

"Gross" Guy Missed

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

DALLAS Meets STAR WARS

There's millions of these "jams" out there, but I thought this one was pretty good.

ANGEL Star Dies

I couldn't possibly keep up with great and influential people who have died in all the media I love, but once in a while I feel the need to acknowledge a death.

I just read that Angel star Andy Hallett died from heart failure at 33 years old.

Hallett played the demon Lorne, one of my favorite characters on one of my all-time favorite shows. At first Lorne who was a helpful friend for Angel and his gang to have, and as the show continued, he became almost a team member himself. He was a standout in the Whedon-verse full of unique characters as the club owning demon who could read a person's thoughts/intentions when they sang. And he always did it dressed as if he belonged on the Vegas strip.

I think credit for the popularity of the character rests on Hallett's portrayal of him. Lorne was probably intended to be a bit character at first, but he kept coming back, and I think it's because of Hallett.

And it's odd that one of the only times I have seen him out of the Lorne makeup was in the picture that accompanied the news of his death.

Here's a link to that news piece from tvguide.com:
http://www.tvguide.com/News/Andy-Hallet-Dies-1004552.aspx

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Judge Not

You've seen the first part-- but you didn't see the ending-- and the second part is great.

"Rocket scientist"...

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Premieres, Finales, and Notables; March 30-April 5, 2009

Monday, 3/30

Greek; ABC Family. 7 pm CST. 2nd Season Premiere.
I've heard this show is pretty good...

Battlestar Galactica's Tricia Helfer guest stars on Chuck (NBC; 7 pm).


Tuesday, 3/31

Osbournes: Reloaded; FOX. 8:20 pm (Note the time). Series Premiere.
The Osbourne family does a variety show. Music, jokes, pranks, and skits where they attempt "real jobs" are on tap. Could be a disaster, but I am intrigued enough to watch at least the pilot.

Cupid; ABC. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
A "remake" of the 1998 dramedy (one I enjoyed quite a bit) with Bobby Cannavale playing a "grounded" Cupid who has to match 100 couples before Zeus will let him back in Mt. Olympus. Sarah Paulson plays the therapist who treats him (and will eventually fall for him, I'm sure).
I don't remember much about the original other than I remembered I liking it quite a bit.
I know this is a remake that should be on its own merits, but Cannavale has done nothing for me before, so I doubt I'll dig him as much as I dug Jeremy Piven in the original. Sarah Paulson has always impressed me, so I think I'll "buy" her easily enough. But, man, I fell in love with Paula Marshal in the original... Good times.
Maybe this will get the original series on DVD.

Pretty Wicked; Oxygen. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Ten women get personality makeovers and compete in an "inner beauty" competition.

My Boys; TBS. 9:30 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.
This is a pretty good show with great co-stars (Jim Gaffigan and Kyle Howard). And it got rid of the cheesy sports-metaphor-for-life elements from the first season. Recommended.


Wednesday, 4/1

I Get That a Lot; CBS. 7 pm. Special.
Celebs like Mario Lopez, Ice-T, Heidi Klum, and Jessica Simpson disguise themselves as regular folk in the service industry and try to convince their customers they are not who they look like. I'm sure it's lame, but I've heard Klum and Simpson are pretty funny.

Pedro; MTV. 7 pm. Special.
Oscar-winner Dustin Lance Black (Milk) wrote the screenplay of this biopic about The Real World: San Francisco's Pedro Zamora.
I have to admit, I hated how MTV shoved Pedro down our throats back in the '90s, but I read roommate (and current DC Comics writer) Judd Winick's graphic novel Pedro & Me a few years ago, and I got a much better sense of the man from it. The GN is highly recommended. And I think the subject of this movie makes it worth at least trying.

Damages (FX; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Life on Mars (ABC; 9:02). Series Finale.
That's right: series finale. At least the creators got a chance to write a proper ending, so it won't be the usual show that just disappears on a cliffhanger.

Reno 911; Comedy Central. 9:30. 6th Season Premiere.
I'll give this show one more season (I've been terribly disappointed the past two years) before I stop watching.


Thursday, 4/2

ER (NBC; 9 pm). Series Finale.
The show should be going out with a bang. I don't know what'll happen, but they've had natural disasters, helicopter crashes, tanks smashes (I think), disease outbreaks... I think the only way they could top themselves is if the moon itself falls out of orbit and lands directly on the hospital.

Nah-- I'm kidding. My understanding is this show gets a proper and dignified send-off that honors the past.
As ridiculous and goddamned depressing as it got (I gave up after seven seasons, so maybe the tone changed after that), this was breakthrough television that almost didn't make it to the air. And it would have been a shame had we not experienced those first few years.
I won't watch the finale, but I'll raise a glass to it on Thursday. It earned it. Hopefully the fans who stuck around the full 16 seasons get what they deserve.

Eleventh Hour (CBS; 9:01). Season Finale.


Friday, 4/3

Escape to Chimp Eden; Animal Planet. 8 pm. Season Premiere.



Sunday, 4/5

Food Network Challenge: Lake Cake Standing; Food Network. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Six pastry chefs do their thing in this reality competition.

In Treatment; HBO. 8 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.

The Tudors; Showtime. 8 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.

United States of Tara (Showtime; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Do you love the same things Paris does?

Watch this clip and find out:

Friday, March 27, 2009

Thursday, March 26, 2009

WIFE SWAP-- Telling Every Family's Story

I think they could have left this one on the cutting-room floor...

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

ITM: Episode 5

Not particularly funny this time. I'm just including it because I'm already this far into posting the series...


This Chick is Getting More and More Ridiculous

Is it me, or has Tyra become a parody of those terrible day-time talk shows from the '90s?


Monday, March 23, 2009

Chickenfoot Sammy

Kinda stupid, but short.

And it has two of my favorite things:

Chickenfoot at Play

Rock stars have too much fun.

And the Will Farrell-looking guy is Chad Smith. I think. Could be Farrell...


SMCCC: Monkeys Talk About Religion

This dude seriously lives up to his name...

Sunday, March 22, 2009

ITM: Episode 4

The mom explaining to another kid what sex is is pretty good (around the 5 minute mark).

Premieres and Notables; March 23-29, 2009

Just a note: the magazines I steal this info from were pretty vague on just what these new shows are about. Sorry I don't have much to go on.


Monday, 3/23



Aaron Stone; Disney XD. 6 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Kelly Blatz stars as a young action hero (sounds like a cross between a spy and a Batman-type).

The Secret Life of an American Teenager (ABC Family; 7 pm). Season Finale.

Ted loses his job on How I Met Your Mother (CBS; 7:30). I'm sure it'll be funny anyway...

Roommates; ABC Family. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
All I know is it's a sitcom in the Friends vein-- and this cast is not nearly as white as that cast.

Sophie; ABC Family. 8:30 pm. Series Premiere.
A pregnant talent agents gets dumped by her boyfriend, who also runs off with her clients.
[Geez, I wonder if Middleman could have been saved by the network had Dubby been pregnant. Seems as if ABC Family likes those types of characters.]

RuPaul's Drag Race (Logo; 9 pm). Season Finale.




Tuesday, 3/24

Chuck Jones: Memories of Childhood; TCM. 7 pm. Special.
An hour-long look at the legendary Looney Tunes director.



College Hill: South Beach; BET. 9 pm. Season Premiere.




Wednesday, 3/25



Important Things With Demetri Martin (Comedy Central; 9:30 pm). Season Finale.


Thursday, 3/26

American Idol Extra; FOX Reality. 6 pm. Season Premiere.
Thank God! I mean, there's just not enough American Idol coverage nowadays...



In The Motherhood; ABC. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
The web series gets a network show-- with an entirely different cast.



Zatanna is introduced on Smallville (CW; 7 pm). Mmmmmm... Zatanna.
I hope the series tries to get her costume close to the one in the comics (traditional-- if sexy-- magician outfit and fishnet tights).








Hot damn! Looks like they got it right.

Saturday, 3/28


Nickelodeon's 22nd Annual Kid's Choice Awards; Nickelodeon. 7 pm. Special.
Hosted by Dwayne Johnson (he doesn't go by "The Rock" anymore).


Penguins of Madagascar; Nickelodeon. 8:30 pm. Series Premiere.
The only consistently entertaining characters in the Madagascar films get their own show. Let's all pray they don't become annoying now that they are focal characters in their own show.




Sunday, 3/29


Any Dream Will Do; BBC America. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Singers compete for a lead role in the London revival of Joseph and His Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.


The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency; HBO. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Singer Jill Scott stars as Botswana's first female private investigator in this adaptation of the Alexander McCall Smith novels.


A number of Star Trek: the Next Generation cast members make guest appearances (sounds? voices?) on Family Guy (FOX; 8 pm).


Jim Gaffigan: King Baby; Comedy Central. 8 pm. Special.


G4 Underground; G4. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
A documentary series. The first ep looks at people who put on costumes and fight crime.


The Mighty Boosh; Cartoon Network/[adult swim]. Midnight. Series Premiere.
A live-action series (ugh-- not on this network...) that probably has no relation to the phrase "Boosh" that the X-Tacles say on Frisky Dingo.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Best Week Lately

Maybe once or twice a year, I'll be hit with really great television from the variety of shows I watch.

The week from 3/15-3/21 was one of those times.


First off, we had How I Met Your Mother Monday night.

It wasn't one of those extremely hilarious episodes, and it wasn't what I call a game-changer (where something major happens), but it was right in the middle. Ted and Lily were discussing the new revelation that she just-- and has also done in the past-- manipulated his last relationship into having his girlfriend break up with him. She did it for the right reasons-- and Ted can see that-- but it was also a huge betrayal to him. I'm curious to see what happens there. Maybe it'll never be brought up again, but this isn't like most shows, it understands-- and pays attention to-- its history. I would imagine the next relationship Ted gets into (which could very well be with the titular Mother), will have him very leery of getting his new lady close to Lily.

And while that "heaviness" was happening, Marshall was proving to Barney how liberating a nightshirt is to wear in bed. It doesn't sound all that funny, but it was; trust me. And while all that was going on, Robin was having some troubles on her morning talk show which were even funnier.


Next, we had The Office on Thursday night.

Michael gets a new supervisor (Charles), which puts him off the deep end because, as he tells Charles, the last two bosses were Jan, "who came around when she was horny" and Ryan, "who was on drugs", so he's used to supervising himself. Charles would have none of that. He could see from just being in that office for five minutes, that there is very little control or leadership in it. Michael tried his usual nonsense, and Charles kept shutting him down. Michael decided to drive to New York to talk to the head guy (David)-- who had avoided his calls all day. In that confrontation, he mentioned that he deserved a party to celebrate his 15 years with the company, but along the course of that conversation, he was also very subtly telling David that he was disappointed that David blew him off all day. David realized that Michael was right; that Michael did deserve better treatment, so he said he would find the money for Michael's party. Michael got up and said, "I quit".

Only two or three other times in the run of this show has Michael pulled his head out of his ass enough to realize what's going on around him. Of course, the bulk of his problems are directly attributed to the fact that his head is up his ass the majority of the time; that he is either too irrational or too infantile to do the right thing. But he did the right thing in this case. One of his superiors proved that he doesn't listen to him-- and while it wasn't mentioned, the reality is Michael knows he got passed over for promotion again-- so he quits.

But an even more intriguing storyline was about Jim. Lovable, funny Jim… He loves pulling pranks and deflating the stupidity balloons around him (namely Dwight's). But one of his best jokes came the same day Charles arrived. Jim decided to go overboard on the dress code memo that Dwight sent out, so he wore a tuxedo to work. Funny, yes-- there even quite a few jokes surrounding it before Charles arrived-- but looking at it as a normal person would (through Charles' eyes), it was shown to be a juvenile prank. Especially because Charles would be the type of guy Jim would need to impress to go somewhere in the company. He further embarrassed himself to Charles for declaring he was the "assistant manager" under Michael-- something he teased Dwight about (for being a made up position) before Dwight lost the title.

So while Jim has always been the character that grounded us in reality while the lunacy of the office occurred around him, we saw Jim for what he has become: just another nutcase in that office.

Will the show get that "deep" and continue along this path, or were we just supposed to feel bad for Jim for making mistakes that one day? I hope they're brave enough to explore the "facts" I just presented (although none of this was mentioned in the episode) and that the show is on the track I'm on right now.


Later on Thursday, I watched the fourth season finale of The Wire. The bulk of my week was spent watching the season from start to finish (over 13 hours from Sunday night to Thursday night), and it was well worth putting everything else aside for it. Two weeks ago, I told a friend that The Wire Season Three (which I had just finished) were 12 of the best hours of television I'd ever seen.

Season Four was even better.

Since I'm focusing on the finale, I'll stay on that path. In about 75 minutes, I had my heart broken countless times, I actually shed tears on more than one occasion, and I was left emotionally spent for over 24 hours.

The beauty of The Wire is that each season is very much like a book. There is a beginning, a middle, and an end. There are many, many characters to follow as the plot progresses, but the main storyline was about four young boys in eighth grade who were at a turning point in their lives. These boys had everyone pulling at them: drug dealers, police, teachers, civic-minded individuals, family, friends... In the finale, we got to see the paths they ended up on, and, true to form for the show, not everyone had a happy ending-- and that was absolutely heartbreaking.

The show had always been about Baltimore, so usually the characters are just our way of getting to know the city, but, man, I loved those kids (even after knowing them for only twelve hours)and to see where some of them ended up was brutal-- even though I knew the odds were bad for them.

And if that wasn't bad enough, one of my favorite characters took two in the head after making the "right choice" and was dead before he hit the pavement. Another favorite character tried killing himself and ended up in an institution. And yet another favorite character failed so terribly after trying so hard to make amends for a mistake.

But while all that bad was going on, there were some good moments: the Major Crimes Unit got repaired, one of the most damaged characters got his shit together for a return, and Bunny Colvin showed that heroism can come in many forms and probably saved a life.

I cannot wait to see Season Five...


Finally (I know: Thank God), we have Friday.

First, came The Soup. Host Joel McHale has never really pulled punches with the stupidity he "reports" every week, but this week was especially brutal. I don't know if the writers are different, or if he was having a bad day, or if these reality shows just had an unbelievably stupid week, but it was harsh. And very, very funny...


And lastly came the Battlestar Galactica series finale. I didn't watch the series from Day One. I elected to wait until near the end to just watch the series in bulk. I started with Seasons 1 and 2.0 last summer and then crammed Seasons 2.5, 3, and 4.0 between Thanksgiving and the end of January, where I picked up on Season 4.5 as each episode aired weekly.

I have to admit that I was disappointed for much of Season 4.5 because there were so many loose ends to be tied up, and the show just didn't seem to want to acknowledge what was out there. So I knew all the questions would never be answered in the final episode-- especially because the Galactica still had one, last mission to go on.

And that last mission was a doozy. Without saying too much, I'll just say how the boarding party got on the ship it was infiltrating was cool as Hell.

Anyway, even though many of the loose ends weren't tied up-- and many of the questions still out there were not answered, I found the finale very satisfying on an emotional level. The show had always been about the characters (even if we didn't understand what they all were), and the episode acknowledged that fact. Fewer people died than I expected, which was a welcome relief after what they all had been through. And while I think the reliance on being ambiguous in certain areas was a bit annoying, this was a true ending for the show, and just based on that, it put this finale in an elite company.

I just wish I would have put my thoughts "in writing" about what I believed was happening after the second or third season because I came pretty close to figuring out how the series fit into "the big picture"...

So there you have it: my week in television. Sometimes I feel guilty about all the time I spend watching TV, but weeks like these make it impossible to cut back. You never know where or when the gems will come.

SMCCC: The Frog Prince

New Chickenfoot Music

Here's a link to the Chickenfoot website. After the intro video, a media player with two new songs will play. Check them out.

Just old-fashioned, not overproduced, rock music. Satch's guitar is crunchy, Sammy's got his rock voice, and it put a smile on my face to hear Mikey's backing vocals behind Sam's lead.

http://www.chickenfoot.us/

Yet Another Stupid Network Decision

I guess offering professional wrestling and z-grade made-for-TV "horror movie" schlock wasn't enough for Sci Fi (formerly the Sci Fi Channel). They still aren't getting the "non-geeks" to watch.

So a name change is in order.

In the next few months, Sci Fi will be rebranding itself as "SyFy". I know; it's a big jump. How ever will we pronounce this new non-word?

I, honestly, don't think their troubles (if you can call having the highest ratings in your history last year "troubles") don't have much to do with being a science fiction-based channel. The problem is they've gotten too far away from what made this a great channel once.

I think maybe having shows like Battlestar Galactica will get your channel noticed. Sure, there will be some people who won't watch just because of the name, but the "geeks" of the world will get the word out about good stuff. It's not as if Battlestar was a secret to anyone as it got plenty of press.

While I watched the BSG finale last night, I caught some of the previews for new shows on the network, and not one could be mistaken as a science fiction-based show (not even the BSG "origin" show Caprica). Sure, there were a few "genre" elements, but those looked more like quirks than anything.

I like all types of shows, and I think it's a shame that this network thinks it needs to distance itself from what got it to where it is. It's a bigger shame when it's obvious that the network will try to distance itself from what it started out as. Would they give Battlestar a chance now? How about the even more science-fictiony Farscape (which was just lots of very serious fun)? Would Doctor Who get picked up?

To many networks are moving to the center (to use a political term). Bravo and A&E were two channels I used to respect until they moved into degrading reality-show garbage. Even the Cartoon Network shows live-action movies and a series here and there. AMC removed the "American Movie Classics" tag years ago and started showing very recent-- and usually bad-- movies.

Hey network heads: it's okay to be different. Ratings are down for everyone, so it's not as if making your network like everyone else's is going to the cure to your ills.

I'll just make you like everyone else.

Having standout shows is what will set you apart from the rest. There are a few science fiction shows in history that could be considered great, and there are many that you could easily compare to well-loved shows in any other genres.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this name-change will just be a name change, and the content will still stay the same. But I doubt it. When the network says they need to let people know it's not just for geeks, then you know what they're saying: the fans that got them there aren't good enough anymore.

Boo Sci Fi or SyFy or whatever the Hell you want to call yourself.

More Classy Reality Show Ladies

I can't wait for this phrase to take off...

Wait for the end of the clip where the kid talks about how cool his daddy is.

Best line I've heard all week...

Friday, March 20, 2009

Condensed SOUP; 3/19/09

Horrifying this week, kids. Horrifying...

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Why Is This So Difficult?

Maybe Ray J is looking for a little more, but I'm thinking most of these ladies would just need some chapstick, the ability to hold their breath for a while, and that half hour to impress him...

Is that wrong? I mean, seriously, these chicks are in the stupid reality-dating show genre where the criteria seems to be who can lower the bar even more.

In a few years time, I expect the idiots on these shows to just drop the pretense, strip naked, and take these guys "on a trip" within the first episode.

SMCCC: Jesus & Vishnu on Christmas

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

ITM: Episode 2

And here's In The Motherhood (Web) Episode 2.




Your Next BACHELOR

This dude's been unlucky in love. I think he'd be perfect...

Monday, March 16, 2009

ITM: Episode One

I've heard about the web series In The Motherhood, but I never checked it out.

Since ABC is doing their own version (minus Leah Remini and Chealsea Handler; Boo, ABC!!!) that'll be airing later this month, I thought I had better check it out.

And because I'm a great guy, here's the first webisode.
You'll never look at chapstick or display toilets the same way again.

SMCCC: Jeff Goldblum Wafers

Sunday, March 15, 2009

I Love Al's Confidence in This Clip...

"Sure you can. Look close."

Mac Daddy Al...

Premieres and Notables (and a Big Finale...); March 16-22, 2009

Monday, 3/16

On How I Met Your Mother (CBS; 7:30 pm), Ted finds out that Lily may be at fault for many of his breakups.

Dhani Tackles the Globe; Travel. 8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
NFL Linebacker Dhani Jones travels the world, trying out other sports.

Kyle XY (ABC Family; 8 pm). Series Premiere.
Not happy to know ABC Family gave this "(geek) genre-friendly" the boot-- less than a year after they canned Middleman.

Battlestar Galactica: The Last Frakkin' Special; Sci Fi. 9 pm. Special.
I'll get to BSG a little later, but this is a retrospective-type special about the series.


Tuesday, 3/17

Modern Toss; IFC. 10 pm. Series premiere.
Another British sketch-comedy.


Wednesday, 3/18

Better off Ted; ABC. 8:30 pm. Series Premiere.
The show has gotten lots of play on ABC with non-stop commercials, but the reviews I've read were mixed. I'll check it out, of course (there are too few comedies out there), but I may stop watching well before it gets cancelled.



Thursday, 3/19

Bad news for The Office's (NBC; 8 pm) Michael Scott, but awesome news for us: The Wire's Idris Elba (who played drug lord Stringer Bell) appears in this first of six episodes as a new Dunder Mifflin VP who doesn't put up with the nonsense that goes on at the office. I am about as pumped for this as I have been for anything I've read about this year.


Friday, 3/20

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Cartoon Network; 8 pm). Season Finale.
Introducing bounty hunter Cad Bane.

Head Case; Starz. 9 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.
Season One was funny. Season Two expanded to 30 minute eps and wasn't as funny. I hope Season Three can find the funny in the half hour it's given.

Party Down; Starz. 9:30 pm. Series Premiere.
Rob Thomas (creator of Veronica Mars) and Paul Rudd created this comedy about six people who are in the catering business in Hollywood. I haven't gotten a chance to check it out yet (Starz OnDemand is showing the first ep now), but if I get to it before the premiere, I'll put a note in the blog. It stars the always entertaining Ken Marino (Reaper).

Battlestar Galactica (Sci Fi; 8 pm) Series Premiere.
Two last hours to wrap this series up. I have no frakkin' idea how they'll do it, but most creators/actors on the show said there is a very satisfying ending for (almost) all the characters-- and it's not an ending that anyone has predicted yet on any website.
I'm not sure if that bodes well. I want to make sure the ending makes sense and isn't just done to try to avoid the fan expectations.
And I'm not sure they'll fully explain just what the Hell Kara is, which would be a bummer.

Anyway, like I said last week, this is must-see television. Don't let the spaceships fool you-- this is one of the most thought-provoking, human shows that has ever aired. The science fiction setting is just there to do what the best science fiction does: hold a mirror up to our present selves. This show raises many, many questions about human existence that maybe have no answers; some of which I'll list here:
What constitutes a "human"? Can a machine become "human" if it acquires nearly all the same qualities of them?
Where does the line cross between good and evil? Can one fully atone for his sins?
Does religion serve a purpose? Is the hope it offers real-- or does it interfere with reality?
Are there "acceptable losses" in war? Is it okay to kill "friendlies" to kill more enemies?
What does it mean to be immortal? Can you be "human" if you are?
Are humans ultimately flawed?
Are our existences pre-determined? Are we truly free if we have a destiny to follow?
Can we escape our destiny?
Is it okay to give up our freedoms in a time of war (very intriguing question during the post-9/11 years)? Should we allow our leaders to take away our freedoms-- even if they think they are doing the right thing?


I can't say this is my favorite show of the year I watched this season (from June to now; right now, The Wire holds that title-- but that's just a mind-blowingly awesome f-ing show), and I also can't say it'll end up in my all-time Top Five (even though it's better than some of those Top Five shows), but this is high-quality television right here. Catch repeats, buy/rent/borrow the DVDs, do what it takes to experience this.


Saturday, 3/21

The Locator; WE. 8 pm. Season Premiere.


Sunday, 3/22

Big Love (HBO; 8 pm). Season Finale.

Flight of the Conchords (HBO; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Eastbound and Down (HBO; 9:30). Season Finale.
Although Danny McBride has no current plans to make a second season, so this may be it.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Thursday, March 12, 2009

CONDENSED SOUP; 3/12/09

My Faith in VH1 Has Been Officially Shattered

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw this clip:






Are you kidding me?! They had a stripper on Rock of Love Bus? A stripper? I can't believe VH1 would stoop so low as this. It's a goddamn travesty.

I mean, Bret Michaels agreed to do this show as a means to find the love of his life, and the producers think a stripper is what he's looking for? I give Bret lots of props for not just walking off the show after that little display. I can tell he didn't want to draw too much attention to the situation and elected to pretend to be really into the stripper pole dance instead of embarrassing anyone, and that just shows what a classy guy Bret is.

Bravo to Bret Michaels and boo to VH1.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Backstage on Britney's Tour

Not terribly funny-- but terrible things happen to Brit, so, you know...