Friday Fail: Creek Jump

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The Human Target

Looks like it could be good. Has a nice cast that I can see.

Premieres Jan 20.

Archer #4 ("Take One For the Team")

Okay-- that does it for trailers. If you wanna see more, go to Archer's Page on YouTube. They've got craploads of them.

Archer Trailer #3 ("Brown Sugar")

I am going to love this show...

Archer Trailer #2 ("Pay Attention")

Archer Trailer

Here's a trailer for Archer, premiering tomorrow on FX (9 pm CST)

Condom Commercial Lays it Out

Tuesday Trailer: Iron Man 2

Not sure about Whiplash or War Machine (the introduction of the machine gun-toting Iron Man armor was the point I pretty much lost interest in the comic series I had collected for years), but I loved the first movie, so I have faith they'll "do right" in the sequel as well.

Mastercard BJ

Premieres and Notables; January 11-17, 2009

Monday, 1/11

How I Met Your Mother (CBS; 7 pm CST) celebrates its 100th episode with many of the things that make this show what it is.  Ted gets closer to the titular mother (co-creator Carter Bays promises the mother will be seen in this ep-- although no promises it is Ted's date Rachel Bilson).  Barney meets a hot bartender (played by Stacy Keibler; so, yeah, hot) who doesn't like suits, so he must decide if he can go without "suiting up". 
I'm going to guess he can't because the episode closes with a big musical number (created by Glee choroeographer Zach Woodlee) called "Nothing Suits Me Like a Suit".

Fringe (FOX; 8 pm CST) features an unaired episode from Season One.

Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations; Travel. 9 pm CST. Season Premiere.
Didn't this show just have a season premiere a couple of weeks ago?


Tuesday, 1/12

American Idol; FOX. 7 pm CST.  9th Season Premiere.
And it begins...  With weeks and weeks of shitty auditions.
Well, I had a nice six months where I (almost) never had to hear about this show, so I guess it's time.

Our Little Genius; FOX. 8:15 pm CST. Series Premiere.
A trivia game show featuring child contestants.

Southland reairs (with unseen footage) its pilot episode on TNT tonight at 9 pm CST.  Those of you who watched the show last season on NBC and want to see more should pay attention as TNT bought the episodes for the never-paired Season Two that NBC dropped before airing.


Wednesday, 1/13

MonsterQuest; History.  8 pm CST.  Season Premiere.

High School Reunion; TV Land.  9 pm CST.  Season Premiere.

Little Miss Perfect; WE.  9 pm CST. 2nd Season Premiere.

Leverage; TNT. 9 pm CST.  Return.
The second season if this pretty-good show continues with Jeri Ryan (while cast regular Gina Bellman is on maternity leave).


Thursday, 1/14

Carnie Wilson: Unstapled; GSN. 7 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Nice name for this reality show.  Dicks...
Oh yeah, if I recall correctly, GSN was the old Game Show Network.  Way to stick with your roots, there.

First 48; A&E.  8 pm CST.  Season Premiere.

Ace of Cakes; Food Network. 9 pm CST. Season Premiere.

Archer; FX.  9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
This series is created by Adam Reed, the maniac behind Frisky Dingo (one of my favorite shows in the past few years) and Sealab 2021, so I'm pumped as Hell for it.  Agent Sterling Archer sounds a lot like Dingo's Xander Crews; a complete jackass-- but hilarious.  As for you people who are afraid of animation, try it anyway. This is very close to live-action (reminds me a little of the rotosope method like from the film A Scanner Darkly).

Manhunters: Fugitive Task Force; A&E.  9 pm CST. Season Premiere.

Project Runway; Lifetime. 9 pm CST.  Season Premiere.


Friday, 1/15

I Shouldn't Be Alive; Animal Planet. 8 pm CST. Season Premiere.
Should this show be on "Animal Planet"?

Sanctuary (Syfy; 8 pm CST). Season Finale.


Saturday, 1/16

Pit Boss; Animal Planet. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Former actor Shorty Rossi brings together fellow "little people" to rescue pit bulls.


Sunday, 1/17

Human Target; FOX.  7 pm CST. Series Premiere.
What looks to be a great cast is the feature of this series about a man who is a bodyguard, more or less.

The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty (A&E; 9 pm CST). Series Finale.

R&R HOF 25th Ann Concert: Springsteen & Morello

Here we are, just over week into the new year, and I've already decided to change my video clip plan.

Sundays were for video clips in the "Sunday Sports" (or "Sport Sunday"-- I've already forgotten) theme, but I decided to abandon that.  Sure, I could hunt up 52 sports clips pretty easily, but that's not one of the genres I would normally run across.

As I watched the 4 hour and 10 minute complete Rock And Roll Hall of Fame 25th Anniversary Concert on HBO on Friday, I was completely blown away by this performance.  And I knew I needed to post this one soon.

So "Sports Sunday" has become "No Theme Sunday".  Whatever I run across that may not fit a theme will end up here.  And, eventually, I expect to just have anything on Sundays-- even if it fits into the other themes.  It'll be the catch-all for the week.

So should you care?  Nope.  I'm just trying to make sure I can remember the rules.

So anyway, this 25th Anniversary Concert...  It was pretty cool how things were "broken up".  I'm not sure how to describe it, but I'll try by saying there were certain performers who played a number of sings both by themselves (or in their group) and then alongside other Hall of Fame inductees.  Stevie Wonder, Metallica, U2, Bruce Springsteen (and others) all kind of hosted their respective "mini-concerts". 

I respect Springsteen as both an artist as well as a performer, but I never became a fan.  But that dude (along with the E-Street band) hosted the final mini-concert, and he tore the house down before the end credits.

Here he is with Rage Against the Machine's Tom Morello, playing "The Ghost of Tom Joad".

All I can say is "Wow".   I, literally, had chills when they both sang the chorus after their respective turns singing the last verse (after the amazing solos).  Unbelievable...

It's a bit long, but stick around for the end, when Morello goes completely off the tracks with his amazing guitar work.

Like Springsteen said at the end of the final song, with all his guests pitching in for it, "This is rock and roll!"

Agreed.

Dude Perfect Summer Camp Edition

Friday Fail: Frustrated Skateboarder

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Various TV Best of 2009

I give my best of TV "awards" based around the TV schedule (Sept to May-- although I also add in the summer shows), so I won't get to mine until May, but real critics aren't as busy as I am in December (or, at least, get paid to write in December) and have the time to write a true 2009 Best Of article.

Here's what some critics thought of last year's TV:

First, the AFI chose these (in alphabetical order):
The Big Bang Theory
Big Love
Friday Night Lights
Glee
Mad Men
Modern Family
The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency
Nurse Jackie
Party Down
True Blood

TV Guide's Matt Roush chose these (not sure of the order; here's how he had them):
Modern Family
Mad Men
Battlestar Galactica
Nurse Jackie
The Big Bang Theory
Breaking Bad
Torchwood: Children of the Earth
Glee
True Blood
Friday Night Lights

Here's the link to Matt's article


Entertainment Weekly's TV Guy, Ken Tucker, chose these:
1. True Blood
2. Fringe
3. Modern Family
4. Sons of Anarchy
5. Nurse Jackie
6. Breaking Bad
7. Friday Night Lights
8. Mad Men
9. Glee
10. The Good Wife

I read Tucker's article in the mag, but I'm sure it's online somewhere.  Sorry I'm not helping out here, but you have no idea how many unwritten blog posts I have that I just didn't have the time to get to.  Looking them up online would keep me from posting.


That's what I've got.  I'm not understanding all the Nurse Jackie love, though.  I enjoyed it-- and the acting was great-- but I know it won't be in my Top Ten (and I haven't even started watching Lost, Friday Night Lights, Breaking Bad, or Mad Men, so I have more room for it).

The Deep End

I've seen the ABC commercials the past couple of weeks, and I couldn't tell you what this show was about.

And then I found this promo clip:



It premieres later this month: Jan 21.

Commercial: English Lessons

Top 2009 Comics

I quit buying monthly comics two years ago.  I just couldn't keep up with it in both time and money.  But I still try to grab everything I can in trade paperback or graphic novel form from the two library systems I have access to.  In fact, I read 156 TPs in 2009 (up from 120 in '08 and 96 in '07), so I tore into them pretty well.

Unfortunately, there were few that are going to make "the list".  I love superhero comics, but all the Superman's, Secret Invasions, New Avengers, etc didn't blow my mind enough this year.


Here's what did:

Midnight Nation by J. Michael Straczynski and Gary Frank took a bit for me to get into, but I loved the climax and aftermath to this story about a man who lost his soul and is trapped between the living and the dead worlds, and he must journey across the country to retrieve it.  This is a complete, 12-issue, story all bound together in a single paperback.


Fables by Bill Willingham and a plethora of artists.  I blew through the entire collected paperbacks in a matter of about a month.  In 12 books (82 issues) and a special (1001 Nights of Snowfall), I've experienced something one usually doesn't in continuing comic book series: change.  These characters have a story, and Willingham and company tell it.  And the interesting thing is: it keeps going.  Just when you think the story may be winding down, it veers into another direction.  Loads of fun-- and has great art.

As for what it's about: Characters from fairy tales are real. They've been run out of their kingdoms and worlds and ended up in modern-day New York City.  Snow White, Mowgli, The Big Bad Wolf, Little Boy Blue, Old King Cole, Prince Charming, and dozens more try to get by without their riches and their homes-- and try to keep their secret from the regular humans (the "Mundies").  And enough time has passed that they are tired of hiding from their enemies and are working to take the fight to The Adversary, the dictator who conquered their homes.

I'll say again: great book.


The Walking Dead Volume 8 (Issues 43-48): "Made to Suffer".  The worst thing about getting my comics via the library is the wait that sometimes happens between titles becoming available.  It was a long three years since I read Volume 7 before the library got Vol 8.  But the wait was worth it.  Insane things happened.

The story follows the survivors of a zombie infestation.  Bleh in lost instances-- but creator/writer Robert Kirkman (along with artist Tony Moore) really has opened up the possibilities of such a story.  In most zombie movies, the humans fight off the zombies for a night or two and then the military saves them  by the closing credits.  Not in this book.  There is no end.  A small (and ever-changing due to a high mortality rate) group of people try to live as normal a life as they can while keeping the zombies at bay.

"Made to Suffer" is a huge climax to the previous stories.  There was lots of wrap-up (in a shit-hitting-the-fan way) and the status quo gets changed again.

Lots of fun-- and a great primer for the TV series on AMC that will, hopefully, air sometime later this year.


Finally, I have to give a shout out to Green Lantern.  I went back and read all the TPs since Hal Jordan's return in Rebirth and got as far as the "Rage of the Red Lanterns" (Issue #38) book.  Geoff Johns has made this book exciting again, and it's amazing how many things he's introduced that never had been thought of before-- but somehow fit into previous stories.  This is superhero comics at their best.


So, there you go.  Apologies to the artists involved with these works.  It's really tough to easily find the artists' names in the web searches I did to check issue numbers and name spelling, but I would like to say that while a writer usually directs the plots and puts the words on the paper, the artists are very critical to the greatness of these books (bad art is Hell on great writing), so their contributions should not be shortchanged like I have done here.

Tuesday Trailer: Star Trek (2009)

Sometimes I'll show upcoming trailers. Sometimes, like today, I'll show really good trailers from past movies.



"Your father was captain of a starship for twelve minutes. He saved 800 lives... Including yours. ...I dare you to do better."

That line gets me every time...

Great movie. Check it out if you haven't yet.

Top 2009 Books

Books (and audiobooks).

I did more reading this year than in the past. Most were novels, but I did read a few shorter books that couldn't qualify as a trade paperback or graphic novel (I'll get to those tomorrow).  I read 50 books (up 11 from last year and up 16 from the year before). That can be directly attributed to the extra time I had to read while I donated plasma. It is pretty sweet to finish a book every three donations.

Anyway, I don't grade every book I read, but here are the notable ones worth checking out:

Manic; Terri Cheney. A look into how a bipolar mind "works". Truly terrifying at times to read Cheney's experiences trying to balance her emotional states.

Gods Behaving Badly; Marie Phillips. I'm a sucker for Greek god stuff, and this one, set in the present day, was pretty fun.

My Custom Van... And 50 Other Mind-Blowing Essays That Will Blow Your Mind All Over Your Face; Michael Ian Black. I've been a Black fan since his The State days, and I love his type of humor. Sometimes the titles were hilarious on their own; others contained just a line here and there that cracked me up. My favorite was when he was explaining why he colored his penis with a highlighter. He said he couldn't wait to see if having sex with his wife would bring color to her as well. But he had to wait a few weeks until their next scheduled sex appointment. He ends the essay by saying his highlighted penis sure colored her ass, though. Completely tasteless-- but I laughed out loud.

The Ten-Cent Plague: The Great Comic Book Scare and How it Changed America; David Hajdu. Hajdu looks at the state of comics in the '40s and '50s, and it was terrifying. Politicians used them as scapegoats for societal problems, and idiot parents read horror stories in their magazines blaming comics for deliquency (usually with very tenuous premises which no one thought to question). Just a matter of a couple of years after World War II, where an oppressive, censorous government was overthrown, America had its share of book burnings. Comic books. A great reminder of the importance of Free Speech-- and also great timing for the book after the scare tactics of the Republican politicians following 9/11.

Word Freak; Stefan Fatsis. Fatsis decides to spend a year trying to become a championship Scrabble player. If you've only played the game with your friends or family, you have no idea of the whole other Scrabble world out there.

Beyond: A Solar System Voyage; Michael Benson. An absolutely beautiful book featuring pictures taken by NASA and other space agencies and tweaked by Benson, using an artist's touch to enhance the original. I was lucky enough to catch a small exhibit of his work, and the book, while amazing, can't even hold a candle to the large-size prints I saw. But the book is worth checking out.

The Next 100 Years; George Friedman.  Friedman uses the past to help predict the future.  It's pretty popular to say that the United States is on the downswing, but Friedman believes that is not the case. In fact, he feels that other countries that will try to become the dominant power will either implode or get knocked down a peg by our allies.  Aside from a labor shortage expected in 2040 (where the U.S. will change its stance on immigration from the south), the U.S. is expected to do okay. Even in the Space War of 2050...

Everybody Wants Some; Ian Christie.  Christie covers the history of Van Halen from the earliest days all the way until just before Roth's return a few years ago.  Being a huge VH fan for the past 25 years, I have to say I had heard many of the stories-- but there was plenty of new things I hadn't known.  And even though it's been over a decade, "reliving" the split with Hagar hurt all over again when I read that section.

Night; Elie Wiesel (audiobook read by George Guidall).  I knew the Holocaust was terrible.  But I had no idea of the level of inhumanity that happened at the camps.  People like Weisel should be commended for telling their stories; even though it must be considerably painful to do so.  I'm just numb thinking about it.  The part that chilled me to the core was hearing (via Guidall's voice) about the burning ditches that weak, too old, or too young prisoners were thrown into to be burned to death instead of "wasting" a bullet on them. Except for the infants that were used as target practice as they were tossed into the ditches...

World War Z; Max Brooks (audiobook featured a cast of dozens).  I read this book a couple of years ago, but I enjoyed it all over again as I listened to actors relate the first-person accounts from the book.  Zombies have made a bit of a resurgance in popular media, but few are as good as this.

The Last Centurion; John Ringo (audiobook read by Dan John Miller).  Here is a case where an actor probably elevated my enjoyment of a book.  Considering the audiobook was something like 16 CDs, I can guess this is one giant book.  I would imagine some of the parts would be pretty dry on the page, but Miller's first-person narrative as Bandit Six was great.  He had me hooked from the beginning.  The plot was fantastic: Bandit tells the story of the wars he fought in the 2020's and closely links them with his thoughts on a plethora of subjects.  The level of detail is amazing, and even though this is a work of fiction, there was so much I learned that had basis in fact.  Few stories could probe deeply into farming practices, religion, Middle Eastern politics, military planning, reality show production, and much more in just a single story.  This one did.  Amazingly well.  And Bandit is a God-fearing Republican-- about as far away from me as possible-- so all the more impressive that Ringo created a character I thoroughly enjoyed.

Top 2009 Movies

Any critic worth his salt does a Top Ten list of whatever his/her "beat" is.

But I'm not a critic.  I just like to help point you in good directions.

I won't make a Top Ten list because I usually didn't find ten standouts-- but I did find enough of the various things I watched/read.

Movies.
I had a light year. Only 77 films.  Down 43 from last year-- and down 18 from 2007.  I blame the large amounts of TV on DVD I watched this spring-- and having less time in general.

The following got "A" or "A-" grades in my reviews:
Earth
Up
The Hangover
Let the Right One In
Wallace & Gromit: A Matter of Loaf and Death

And I'd also like to throw these "B+" films in for "best of" consideration:
Star Trek
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Tropic Thunder
The Wrestler
Home Alone
A Christmas Story
The Thing
Avatar

Well, there's really no contest.  Of the 77 films I watched this year, only one stood out as one of the best films I've ever seen: Up.  That movie is pure genius.  I imagine that the Pixar gang said, "What are some of the parts of some of the least-interesting movies you can think of?"  Cranky old man, fat do-gooder kid (who is not used for a punchline), balloons, talking dogs, annoying-sounding bird...  Throw 'em in a blender and prove that those elements can make a great movie. 

Which they did.  Splendidly.

Cheerleader Makes a Play

Daily Video Clip

I alluded to this the other day (yesterday?).  I'm going to try to get a little more content on this blog in 2010.  Nothing's more irritating than visiting a website that hasn't changed in days, weeks, etc. 

I'll be trying to do more original thoughts than in the past, but that hasn't always been successful.  So, as a backup, I'm also going to be posting daily video clips.  Most will be found on YouTube, just because it's easy for me to embed them-- and it's pretty safe that they won't disappear after a week like the clips from E! that I was using a lot last year vanished.

In order to change things up, I decided to try to use certain themes for the days of the week.  I'll, of course, post a clip whenever it fits (and probably will be posting a few a day once I get rolling), but there will be at least one that will fit the "theme".  I don't know how long the themes will last before I make a change, but I think I picked some that will get me 52 clips (one for each week).  So, here goes:

Monday Funny.  No criteria other than I found these to be funny.

Trailer Tuesday: Movie trailers, new and old.  Why not on Thursday?  "Trailer Tuesday" sounds better.

Commercial Wednesday:  Commercials.  Usually funny; hopefully real (there are lots of parodies out there).

TV Thursday: TV clips, previews, reviews, interviews...

Friday Fail: Stunts gone awry.

Saturday Stunt: Stunts gone right; beginning with Dude Perfect's crazy basketball stunts.

Sports Sunday: Not that I'm a big (or at all) sports nut, but there's plenty of drama and humor to be found.  It's okay to expand one's horizons.

So come back for the themes you like best-- or check them all out.  I'll try to keep it entertaining because, like my tagline says: this is stuff that entertains me. Hopefully it will be for you, too.

Premieres and Notables, January 4-10, 2009

The Holiday Season is over-- and TV is back in full force...

Because I get tired of typing it: all times are in CST.  Deal with it, East Coasters.


Monday, 1/4

The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love; ABC.  7 pm. Season Premiere.
No comment...

Animal Cops: Miami; Animal Planet.  7 pm.  Series Premiere.
The premiere follows an illegal pig-slaughtering ring.

Antiques Roadshow; PBS.  7 pm (check local listings). Season Premiere.

The Secret Life of the American Teenager; ABC Family.  7 pm. Return.

The Emotional Life; PBS. 8 pm (check local listings).  Mini-series.
Scientists and celebrities share their experiences on dealing with emotions over the next three nights.

Make It or Break It; ABC Family.  8:01 pm. Return.

Conveyor Belt of Love; ABC. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
I can't make myself think of a way to describe this bound-to-be-classic TV show, so I'm going to steal TV Guide's:  "The name should say it all-- and yet, there is so much more to say about this reality show, which sends 30 dudes out on a moving track, giving them one minute to score a date with one of five women."


Tuesday, 1/5

The Biggest Loser; NBC. 7 pm. 9th Season Premiere.

Last Restaurant Standing; BBC America. 8 pm. Season Premiere.

Wild Recon; Animal Planet. 8 pm.  Series Premiere.
This series follows a venom expert as he extracts poisons and DNA from dangerous animals.

Life After People; History. 9 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.
They got another season?  I stopped halfway through the first season because it got so repetitious.
Oh, this is new: tonight's ep shows what will happen to the world's religious artifacts...


Wednesday, 1/6

Nip/Tuck; FX. 9 pm. 7th Season Premiere.
The final season begins here.

Ugly Betty; ABC.  9:01 pm.  Return.
New night.


Thursday, 1/7

Bear Whisperer; Animal Planet.  7 pm.  Series Premiere.
A man tries to keep the humans and the bears on their respective sides in California.


Friday, 1/8

TCM celebrates Elvis Presley's 75th birthday with an all-day marathon of his movies.  It begins at 5 am with Harum Scarum.  I love that TMC does this for worthy actors/directors.

Shark Tank; ABC. 8 pm. Season Premiere.

What Not to Wear; TLC. 8 pm. Season Premiere.

John Oliver's New York Stand-up Show; Comedy Central.  9 pm. Series Premiere.
Oliver hosts this stand-up showcase.


Saturday, 1/9

Everyday Food; PBS. 8:30 am (check local listings). Season Premiere.



Sunday, 1/10

The Simpsons 20th Anniversary Special: In 3-D! On Ice!; FOX. 7:30 pm. Special.
Morgan Spurlock hosts this hour-long documentary immediately following the 450th (!!!) episode of the series.

Ax Men; History.  8 pm. Season Premiere.

Big Love; HBO. 8 pm. 4th Season Premiere.

Border Wars; National Geographic.  8 pm.  Series Premiere.
A docu-reality series looking at efforts to protect America's borders.

Masterpiece Classic; PBS. 8 pm (check local listings).  Season Premiere.
Judi Densch stars in Return to Cranford.

Chuck; NBC. 8 pm.  3rd Season Premiere.
Chuck becomes a real spy in this 2-hr premiere.
Note: the show moves to Mondays at 7:00, starting tomorrow.

Durham County; ION. 9 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.

Football's Hardest Hits

Violent montages are not exactly what I want to accomplish for my "Sports Sunday" video features, but some of these hits made me wince-- and thus were worthy of sharing:

2nd Half of 2009 Movie "Reviews", Part 4

Battlestar Galactica: The Plan— The premise: to go back to the beginning of the Cylon attack on the humans that nearly exterminated the race, and see how it came about—and then how the Cylon plan progressed as time went on and the humans proved far more difficult to stamp out entirely than originally thought.


It was “fun” to go back and see the beginnings of the BSG saga from the point of view of the Cylons—especially with the knowledge of which characters were unknowingly Cylons at the time-- but I’m not sure how necessary this movie was. And “the plan” was pretty lame; or, at least, I wasn’t surprised in the least what plan the Cylons had for the humans. I actually had to watch the extras just to have “the plan” unveiled for me (which got the reaction of “No shit” from me) because there was no “lightbulb” moment of explanation like I was expecting during the film.

I also watched the movie on DVD, upconverted through a BluRay player, and it looked grainy. That, too, was annoying.

I am really trying not to hate on this movie—or this show. It’s one of the best series of the past decade, but I just have problems with it because I think it could have been better. The show ended wonderfully (if controversially), so if they felt the need to go back to the well, they should have had some better revelations. B-


Home Alone—TV. Another film I have seen before—but not for at least ten years. It’s amazing how this one holds up over the years. Macaulay Culkin did a great job in one of his earliest roles—and he was by himself in most of the movie. John Hughes had his usual magic writing the script and Chris Columbus hit a home run in one of his first film directing jobs.

The film has a lot more heart than I remember. And seeing the brutality Kevin lays out on the burglars is still hilarious. B+


Superman/Batman: Public Enemies— Lex Luthor finally gets the upper hand on Superman and makes him a fugitive. Even better: Batman gets dragged along. This is one of the better animated direct-to-DVD movies DC has made, and it was cool that they got Kevin Conroy, Tim Daly, and Clancy Brown to reprise the roles they played in their respective animated series. I still wasn’t 100% (or even 80%) happy on the character design; they still can’t seem to get a decent face design—but I was happy to see they tried to emulate Ed McGuinness’ style from the comic series a bit (characters not quite as beefy, but not as rail-thin as they usually are.

Speaking of the comic series, I missed the internal thoughts of Supes and Bats that the comics had, but otherwise, it was pretty faithful to the original source. B


A Christmas Story— I’m sort of breaking my rule about reviewing only movies I haven’t seen before—or haven’t seen in a very long time—with this one, but I haven’t reviewed this one yet even though I have seen it within the past five years.

Most people have seen it: DVDs, tapes, and the yearly 24 hr TBS marathons have made this film pretty accessible.

But maybe you’ve just seen it once or twice, so this is a reminder that this film is quickly becoming a classic for the Holiday season. It’s one of those films that get better with every viewing.

Sure, it’s silly, but that’s part of its charm. Also, how nice was that time (the 1940s) that the only thing a young boy wanted for Christmas was a BB gun? Even one that could put out your eye? B+


Away We Go— A decent slice-of-life movie that had its moments. Maya Rudolph and John Krasinski were very well-cast in their roles, but I’m a little tired of the whiny late-20s to early-30s characters that seem to pop up more and more in movies and TV. What, you’re having a baby, and you don’t know what to do? Join the club. That’s called life, people. C+


Whatever Works— I don’t know what to think of this movie. In some regards, I agreed with some of the things said, but in other regards, I don’t know what the point of making this film was. Larry David was perfectly cast, as he seems to be a crotchety old man in real life (or at least he plays those characters very well), who doesn’t feel comfortable following all of the societal norms. But the rest of the film just seemed to happen. There was no real reason or story arc to anything.

And the end… Don’t get me started. Just because a story can be wrapped up neatly with a bow doesn’t mean it should be. C+


The Thing— A very interesting film. I’m not a horror movie fan, but my movie guru has been on me to watch this one for over a decade. I finally did and am sorry I didn’t watch it earlier. John Carpenter made a near-masterpiece here (my guru considers this one of the most perfect films he’s seen—and he’s seen a lot of films).

A group of men, stranded in the Antarctic wasteland, discover a “thing” can take over their bodies and become them. Paranoia ensues.

From the first scene (two men in a helicopter trying to shoot a dog who is running away from them), Carpenter grabs you and then doesn’t let up. Kurt Russel leads a cast of very believable characters as the badass pilot who takes charge when the poop hits the fan. But is he who he seems to be?

The fight is on between man and Thing (which is depicted in really gruesome forms) and the end makes you wonder who won.

I can’t give this an A, no matter how much it may deserve it because it doesn’t fit into my A criteria (either a film that blows my mind with excellence or makes me feel different and grateful for having seen it), but I know in my heart that the B+ I am giving it is too low. Check this movie out.


G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra-- A popcorn movie if there ever was one. All style, no substance. I was a huge fan of the ‘80s G.I.Joe toys and comic books, so I had a little reference to these characters that were mere shells in this film, but that may have also been a hindrance as I often thought “That isn’t Breaker”, or “Heavy Duty”, or “Ripcord” as I watched the movie. But I do have to keep in mind that the ‘80s Joe I loved was a Cold War (and thus strictly American) group, and the film was definitely a post-9/11/international-movie-market group.

I also have to say I really don’t like the post-Batman belief these movies feel they need by connecting the good and bad guys (Batman posited that Batman created his greatest enemy, the Joker; and G.I. Joe has former lovers and friends at odds). I also thought that the origin of Cobra Commander was pretty lame. What’s wrong with a guy who just wants to disrupt the world?

Finally, I was sorry to see Christopher Eccleston’s acting ability wasted here. Maybe the new mask will release him from whatever contract he may have had to sign tio star in sequels.

Anyway, this was most definitely a set-up film just begging to be fleshed out in a sequel. Maybe we’ll get a badass Snake Eyes fight (I may not have liked the whole ninja stuff that overran the comics after a few years, but I would like to see Ray Park’s Snake Eyes open a real can of whoop-ass next time). And, yeah, I’m grading this higher than I probably should, but the movie did have some great action sequences. B-


Avatar (3D)—A film over a decade in the making, and well worth it. James Cameron seems to make movies on an entirely different level than anyone else, and it showed on the screen, big time. Most filmmakers just tell the story they need to, but you know Cameron fleshed out his world because it all seemed to fit together; there wasn’t any glossing over the facts or the plot because the pieces don’t quite fit. And I was also very impressed by his use of 3D. It was not at all the centerpiece of the movie (with the requisite stunts like having things constantly jump out at the audience), but was used as a method of adding a dimension (no pun intended) to the film.

This is what movies will be striving to be like for the next decade. Cameron is just way ahead of the curve.

But after saying all that, I do have to say that the film, while technically and creatively light years ahead of the rest, still very much followed the pattern most technology vs. nature, progress vs. environment, civilization vs. “savage”, etc stories follow. I began to predict events—and came very close on most. But the story itself is still a viable one, just not a terribly original one. That’s the only thing holding it back from an A. B+

Celebrity New Year's Resolutions

Celebrity New Year's Resolutions from Will Ferrell

And, BTW, I am going to resolve to have a post a day. Usually a video (cause they're easy and fun to share), but at least one post each day.

We'll see how successful I'll be (I'm good up through 1/4 so far)...

Dude Perfect Long Shot Field View

And from the ground...

2nd Half of 2009 Movie "Reviews", Part 3

Hamlet 2— Don’t believe the hype that surrounded this film; that it’s hilarious and the like. It’s not. It’s cute, had some funny moments/lines, had some decent performances—but it isn’t what I had heard it was.


I will admit, the song “Rock Me, Sexy Jesus” was pretty funny. C-


G-Force—film. This was a film directed solely at kids. My 5 year-old, who really doesn’t like sitting through movies, actually sat through this one and exclaimed it was the best one he ever saw when the lights came up. Of course, he couldn’t remember much other than the line “Poop on his head! Poop on his head!” an hour later, so I’m not sure how much stock should be put into his remarks. I found it kind of pointless, but not completely offensive to my sensibilities. C-


Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs—film. Another attempt at padding a beloved children’s book enough to get a feature film’s worth of material out of it. I haven’t actually read the book, so I was coming into this blind. And it worked for me. It wasn’t the best “kids movie” I’ve seen, but it also was far from being the worst. Sorry to say I don’t have much more to say about it. B


A Shot at Glory— A pretty by-the-books sports film. A good-hearted but constantly-in-trouble soccer star gets traded to a small team coached by the father of his estranged wife. His brings plenty of expectations with him as the whole town rallies around their possible contending team, and he does his best—while trying to win back the love of his wife. Pretty non-remarkable. It wasn’t bad; it just followed the sports movie mold too closely. C+


Star Trek: The Motion Picture: The Director’s Cut— Being a Star Wars kid, I had a tough time with Star Trek when I was younger (loud, exciting SW just “did it for me” more than quiet, boring Star Trek). But now that I’m older, I can see the appeal for Trek. Thinking through a problem rather than blowing through it has advantages.

I tell you the above because it helps put what I’m going to write in perspective. I found this film boring as a kid. I wouldn’t admit it because I liked all types of science fiction. It’s been, probably, 15 years since I last saw it, and this version is supposed to be far superior to the original.

I did like this version. I’m not sure what is different (aside from updated effects, of course), so I’m not sure what made it a satisfying experience this time when it hadn’t been before. I know a few scenes were trimmed or entirely cut-out, but what I saw in the “deleted scenes” wasn’t that big (or maybe it was; I really wish I hadn’t sold my version of the original movie a while back). Sure, the pacing was still a little slow, but it was pretty much a reintroduction to the characters after almost a decade since the series ended. And, yeah, the costumes were a bit (okay, a lot) in the ‘70s-style of fashion, but I can live with it. And the lone tear on Spock’s face when he realized what V’Ger’s “deal” was is still silly to me.

My movie guru, Tom, told me this version made an okay movie a good one, and I have no reason to disagree because I did enjoy this film for the first time.

But I’m going to chalk it up to 50% because the Director’s Cut is better and 50% because I’m an older, more mature person than I was. B+


The Last Starfighter—25th Anniversary Edition— I loved this movie as a kid (I ate up almost everything sci fi related), and it still holds up pretty well now that I’m an adult. Sure, the computer effects are noticeably primitive, but the rest of the movie is pretty timeless (try saying that about most 80s movies…). It also retained its heart. I’d seen it before in theatre, then on videotape a few times, read the comic adaptations and novelization multiple times, and this viewing was still fresh to me.

I also liked that I could watch it with my kids without too many “problems”. It’d be nice if some of the current movies took the PG rating and made it easy to decide if my kids could watch instead of trying for PG-13 and then I have to keep mental notes in my head to determine if I can let my boys watch later. B


Green Lantern: First Flight— The latest in the line of “introductory” animated films based on a DC Comics character. In this case, we are treated to the origin story of the Hal Jordan Green Lantern. I thought the story was pretty good; it had all the elements one expects from seeing Jordan’s training as one of the premier heroes in the universe, and the character animations were particularly good when compared to previous DC direct-to-DVD animated stories. B-


Observe and Report— This film was exactly what you’d expect from a Danny McBride movie (without McBride) that instead starred Seth Rogan. Very raw, very dark humor, very anti-social. But it was funny at times. It could have had more to hold it together; some of the scenes seemed to exist only to have some stunt or joke as opposed to being an organic part of the story. B


Let the Right One In— A very interesting film from Sweden that was dubbed into English very well. It’s one of the most unique vampire stories I’ve ever encountered, where a young boy (approx 12 yrs old) named Oskar who is tormented at school meets a mysterious young girl named Eli who is roughly the same age, and they become friends—although at a distance Eli maintains.

It’s a dark, quiet movie that is paced very well. The few instances of violence are all the more powerful because of the quietness of the rest of the film. And the ending is both horrifying and calming, depending on your point of view.

It’s this type of film that reminds me just how great movies can be. Sadly, the most creative films seem to come from other countries as there is almost no way an American film would get by in this style. So get out of your comfort zone and try this one. A-


Spies like Us— I had two people in about a week mention how surprised they were that I hadn’t seen this before, and that it was a classic. That could be, but I think it’s one of those films that are classics just based on when they were released. I’m sure when it first was screened, it felt fresh. But now, I felt like I had seen it done before—and better. C


Watchmen— I’ll say this up front: I never was a big Watchmen (comic book/ “graphic novel”) fan. I thought it was too drawn-out, and that it fell apart at the end. I’ll also say this: I haven’t read it since I was a teenager, so half my life has passed since then (along with the fact that I’m more mature—and have a better feel for quality than I did).

This film was beautiful. The visuals were stupendous, the acting and the script were great, and the directing was done with love and respect.

But the film didn’t make me feel anything. It lacked “heart”. It felt like each scene was just a way of moving the plot along from (comic book) plot point to plot point. B


Wallace & Gromit: A Matter of Loaf & Death— I don’t have much to say about W&G other than their shorts (and the film) are brilliant. This newest short film was no exception. Check it out. This is great filmmaking. Soak it in. A-


Bill Maher: I’m Swiss— I feel terrible about this; but I don’t remember much about it. It’s a stand-up comedy film, so I guess it wasn’t memorable because there wasn’t anything to grab onto. Because it was Maher, I’m sure I laughed and agreed with about 70% of what he said. C


Fanboys— A cute road-trip movie based around a love of Star Wars. Nothing really spectacular here, but it was entertaining enough. B-


Planet 51—film. A cute enough movie. The animation was pretty good, and the story was basically ET in reverse, which was a nice switch. And I was also impressed by Dwayne Johnson’s voice work. That dude has really improved his work with every role he gets. B-

Friday Fail: Risky Business

Risky Business Fail - watch more funny videos

2nd Half of 2009 Movie "Reviews", Part 2

The Condemned— “Stone Cold” Steve Austin stars in a film tailor-made for him. He plays a bad-ass military-type who gets unjustly jailed and then finds himself stranded on an island with 11 hard-core killers in a reality competition show. The goal: kill the others within the time limit or die yourself. Now, the premise alone has the potential for an above-average TV movie, but the reality show aspect really brought something more to the table. It’s certainly not a novel idea (The Running Man did it a long time ago, and it’s been probably copied dozens of times since), but this film actually did deal with the production crew quite a bit and raised the question: at what point is human life/dignity more important than ratings? C+



Caprica— The pilot for the upcoming Battlestar Galactica “prequel” series was, hopefully, going to answer some questions I had about Galactica. But it didn’t. And I watched it again with the director/creator commentary, and got even less insight. I guess BSG/Caprica creators/revisionists Ronald D. Moore and David Eick really want to go out of their way to make Caprica separate from BSG, which is okay.

The plot itself is different enough from the first series that this one can stand on its own. A rich inventor found a way to keep his daughter (who died in an accident) alive by using the “brainwaves” (for lack of a better term I can use) she downloaded in a social networking site. He enlists the help of a man who has connections to his rival— who also lost his daughter in the same accident. The inventor also has to present an automated soldier to the government that can help his planet defend itself, but is having problems getting that robot to act independently. The hook of the movie—and the upcoming series—is that a combination of human brain patterns and the robot become what we know to be the Cylons of Battlestar Galactica.

The series (set to air next year) has potential—but if this movie is indicative of the tone the series will have, it may face a tough battle. BSG wasn’t a by the books science fiction series (in the sense that the sci-fi was more back-seated than in typical shows), and Caprica looks to be even less so. Moore and Eick have established themselves as creative-types to watch because of Galactica, but they’ll have to keep the science fiction fanboys happy because I don’t see this show playing all that much to people who aren’t open to sci fi (or Syfy, if you will). B


My Name is Bruce— Beloved, (self-described) b-list actor Bruce Campbell plays a beloved, b-list, drunk, washed up actor named Bruce Campbell in this horror movie parody. And, maybe not-so-amazingly, he was pretty capable at it.

The plot involves teenagers who unwittingly free a demon from his prison, and the demon proceeds to terrorize their town, killing anyone he comes across. The surviving teen tracks down Campbell and asks him to confront and defeat the demon. Campbell’s got nothing else to do—and he’s out of booze—so he agrees to make an appearance. Of course, his arrogance gets the better of him, and he ultimately hits the bar and tries to get into the pants of the first chick he sees. Then he goes to confront the demon, just as he agreed to… And soon realizes the kid wasn’t asking him to make a public appearance set around a “publicity stunt” demon—he really was brought into town to defeat a demon. So he does what any Hollywood B-Actor would do—he runs like Hell. I’ll leave the rest of the plot up to you to figure out (it’s not hard).

This film follows a basic b-movie hero plot, and it’s very-much done in the b-movie style, revolving around Campbell’s usual character attributes. He’s an arrogant coward who thinks just being a movie actor makes him better than others. I highly doubt the real Bruce Campbell is that way (he has a pretty healthy self-awareness of his place in the Hollywood hierarchy—and he’s a huge fan-favorite in a genre known for having massively passionate—and critical-- fans), but he knows the role well enough that he pulled it off wonderfully.

It’s a b-movie—with the usual low-budget sets and effects—so it would normally rate a low-C, but Campbell is so fun and engaging that I’m going to give it a B.


Fired Up— I didn’t have any hopes for this film, but the fact that it stars Eric Christian Olsen, who I’ve really liked since one of his first jobs (in the 1999-2001 series Get Real) made me give it a try. It’s nothing unusual with the basic plot of this type of movie (two horny teens decide to avoid football camp and join the cheerleading team in order to get laid—but, by the last reel, find they actually like cheerleading). But Olsen has a way of making mediocre lines much better than they should be (in much the way that Ryan Reynolds can), so it was enjoyable enough. C+


The Foot Fist Way— The film “discovered” by Will Farrell and Adam McKay (who claimed to have watched it every day over a period of weeks) that introduced Danny McBride to the world. Had I not already seen most of McBride’s other work (most especially his HBO show EastBound and Down), I may have thought this was better. But, right now, McBride is a one-trick pony who does his trick really well— and this was just more of the same. B-


Funny People—film. I don’t consider myself old-fashioned, and I don’t consider myself a prude, but I’m growing tired of the near-constant vulgarity in the Judd Apatow (and the other filmmakers who work in that “arena”) films. Sometimes the profanity works and can make a film really good, but the shock of the “mature humor” has worn off for me. This one wasn’t as gross as past films, but I really started to wonder what was up with all the dick jokes in this movie. I know comics (and this film was set around stand-up comics) try to out-do and out-gross each other, but it’s hard to relate to a guy who’s always talking about someone else’s penis. It’s almost to the point of making these characters seem homophobic (maybe they are—but nothing else in the movie suggests that).

And it’s a shame there was so much to be turned off by because this was a good film (not especially funny—although I don’t think Apatow was going for a strict “comedy”). It was well put-together, plot-wise, and it was a very mature film in the regards that it deals with adult life (instead of the usual childish themes “explored” in these types of films). Death is a major theme, as is regret and loneliness. I’m sure Apatow was using the crude humor to get people to relate more to “real life” issues (much as the best episodes of SOUTH PARK do), but it, obviously, didn’t translate well for fans (as the film wasn’t a big box office winner).

That’s too bad because Adam Sandler (when he wasn’t referring to what he imagines Seth Rogan’s dick is like) was very engaging. His character was not a nice person—who learns to try to be nice and more human. Seth Rogan was perfectly cast, as was Eric Bana. And, as always, Leslie Mann (whom I adore) owned her part. And Jason Schwartzman, who I’m not always keen on, was great in his role as well. C+


The Hangover—film. The funniest movie I’ve seen in many years. I don’t ever remember laughing so hard I physically hurt at a movie other than this one. The taser scene and the end credits had me laughing so hard, my ribs hurt. For real. It’s profane, bizarre, immature, etc-- but it’s also funny. Really, really funny. Great lead and supporting casts; really funny pacing and lines, and it was also beautifully shot. This wasn’t a cheap-looking throwaway comedy. Everything about it was great (and it used crude humor I said I didn’t like earlier very effectively here). Maybe I’m over-reaching by giving it an A-, but the theatre experience definitely elevates it beyond maybe what would be a B+ on DVD… A-


Prison Break: The Final Break— I wasn’t sure if this was necessary when I first heard about it. The series ended well on its own, so I wondered why we needed to start a new story that would wrap up in less than 90 minutes. Plus, this story wasn’t going to be aired by FOX (as of the present—who knows what’ll happen in the future). But as I watched it, I was pulled into the characters and their situation again. This direct-to-DVD story followed the plots of most of the seasons of the show: an event happens that results in some sort of capture, a plan is thought-up and executed, more than a few changes to the plan have to be made, we don’t know who can be trusted, and the climax. It was very effective then, and it’s still effective now (especially since the person who was captured is Sara—nice to shake to things up like that).

If you were a fan of the show and don’t watch this, you won’t necessarily miss anything. But if you were a big fan of the show, or even if you once were a big fan who drifted away as the series got more ridiculous, this is a good capper to the story. It’s got a full beginning, middle, and end—and it also briefly explained how the characters got to where they were at the very end of the series finale (which was especially nice as they floated apart from each other during the last season). It also had a great ending speech by a character that really wrapped up what the TV series was about. B

Dude Perfect Long Shot Seat View

I'm sure by now these Dude Perfect shots are "old"/exposed as fakes, but I think they're entertaining enough.

2nd Half of 2009 Movie "Reviews", Part 1

Sorry I missed last quarter. I had the reviews all written, but I never got as far as cutting, pasting, and posting.

So I'll be doing the back half of the year over the next few days.

As always, "A"s are must see. Either they're extremely well put togerher, or they move me in a way that few films do.
"B"s are good films.
"C"s are average, "D"s are nearly unwatchable, and "F" is toxic.

And, yes, I do skew to the Bs more often than not.  That's simply because I usually can pick good movies out.  If something stinks like crap, I usually know enough to stay away from it.  Sadly, I didn't hit many great movies this year, so the grades are a little lower than usual-- and the reviews are frequently shorter as well.

And, finally, all are films I saw on DVD unless otherwise noted.  This is important because I believe an experience in a theatre can elevate a lesser movie (or seeing a DVD at home may not get the full effect).

These aren't in much order other than usually the order in which I saw them, beginning in July.


Taken— A thinking man’s revenge story. Liam Neeson was great as always, but the whole movie seemed to wrap up too nicely. Yeah, liberties need to be taken in a 2 hour movie, but it just seemed like the plot was just thinly used to fill in action sequences. That’s not the worst thing (or not the least bit uncommon), but I think the film got too much credit for what it was ultimately worth. B-



The Spirit— As a comic book fan, I wanted this to succeed. The question of “did it” I guess will have to be left up to the viewer. Frank Miller’s first solo directing job was pretty to look at, but that was pretty much it: pretty to look at. Did it make sense? Not really. Did it have good performances? Sure. But is doing a good acting job with bad lines mean the film is better than it should be? Not in this case. The tone of the film was also disorienting. It was ultra dark, yet there were countless silly moments that may work on the page, but didn’t work on the screen.

I’m happy the greatest accomplishment (of countless great accomplishments) the “grandfather of comic books” (Will Eisner) had finally made it to the screen, but there really is nothing beyond above-average visuals that would lead anyone to seek out the source material. I know that’s not even a thought for most movies made from comics, but, c’mon, Frank Miller isn’t your average filmmaker either. B-


He’s Just Not That Into You— This film pissed me off. Every woman in this movie was every cliché you could find in a 20-30 year old female character in any other movie. They act as if they are independent yet cannot bear the thought of not having “a man” in their lives. So then they get stupid and forget everything they know about men. It’s not tough—men don’t want to cause a scene or hurt a nice girl’s feelings by saying he’s not interested, so he’ll lie and say he’ll call her. And, let’s face it, guys also want to leave open the possibility of a one-night stand (liking someone enough to go on multiple dates is different than liking someone enough to jump in the sack; that’s how it is), so why hurt someone’s feelings if that can happen?

And add to the stupid women in the film (and most other films), their stupid friends who are always dangling the extremely rare exception in front of them (“Maybe he really did have a grandmother die and was out of town”).

Anyway, Justin Long (a favorite of mine) played a character who schooled the so pretty yet so dim Ginnifer Goodwin on when a guy “just isn’t that into you”. And it made sense. So I let up on my feelings and was happy that while these characters were clichéd and horribly naïve, at least people watching this movie can learn from these dimbulbs’ mistakes.

And, here’s where the spoiler alert is going to happen because I can’t really explain my feelings unless I tell you how it works out.

SPOILER ALERT: everything was “working out” in the reality front. Some women just learned tough lessons, and the guys who insisted they weren’t interested stayed not interested. Until the end of the film when the two men who stayed honest and truthful in their disinterest completely flipped and ended up with their respective women. I was livid. Nearly the entire movie, we were told “sometimes he’s just not that into you”—and then they f-ing went against their nature and ended up with the girl. All for a stupid damn happy ending. So, essentially, the entire message of the film was thrown out—as if those two women just happen to be the exceptions who proved the rule. Give me a break.

END SPOILER ALERT.

So, here I am. I liked the movie (mostly). It had some good scenes. It featured a great cast. Yet, there were a few things that really ruined the experience for me. C+ for the cast making the best of it and a D- for the let-down in the plot. C-


Dead Like Me: Life After Death— It’s been a few years since I last watched this underrated series (catch it on Showtime DVD or repeats—the Sci Fi Channel aired it for a while), so it was a bit tough at times to get reacquainted with the concept. But it was a good one-shot movie to tie up the series—as well as a good jumping-off point for future stories. I missed Mandy Patinkin’s character, but I guess they were lucky to get most of the rest of the cast together again after a period of a few years. It still mostly felt like the series—although I would have liked it to be more whimsical like the show was (there was a time or two in this DVD where they came close). This was mostly Fred’s story, though, and they only had 90 minutes to tell it, so the supporting characters (who tended to get into trouble more) were left a little in the back. If you liked the series, then check it out. If you missed the series, then watch those two seasons before you watch this movie. B-


How to Lose Friends and Alienate People— Pretty much completely forgettable. I saw this movie about two months ago, and all I can remember now is that Simon Pegg was in it. He played a cad who gained fame as a Perez Hilton-type on the internet who eventually got a job as a magazine writer. I’m sure there was a girl he was after; one who he had to change his ways for—and that he probably did change and get her. I don’t remember the details. D+


Wolverine— film. Wolverine has been one of my least-favorite super-hero characters. Back in the ‘80s and ‘90s, he was the shit, and I just got tired of seeing him everywhere. And I had heard how poor this film was, so, had I not had my life to itself (my family was away), and had I not had a coupon that covered the entire cost of the ticket, I wouldn’t have gone.

But, you know what? It wasn’t as bad as I feared. It wasn’t terribly memorable (and Ryan Reynolds was not utilized enough), but I also remember thinking “This isn’t that bad,” as I was sitting in my seat. But it also wasn’t memorable. Past successes with Iron Man and The Dark Knight were great for the comic-to-movie “industry”, but it also hurt it because a movie like this has the bar set so high against it, it can never really succeed. This film wasn’t made with a huge budget (and if it was, then what they paid for didn’t end up on the screen), so it didn’t have the wide-spanning potential that great comic-book movies have had. B-

Premieres and Notables: December 28, 2009- January 3, 2010

Monday-Thursday
HBO reairs the second season of True Blood; 3 eps a night, from 7-10 pm CST.


Tuesday, 12/29

Daycare Divas; TLC.  9 pm CST.  Series Premiere.
The trials the workers in a daycare go through with twelve kids.
Sounds exciting.


Friday, 1/1

DogTown; National Geographic. 9 pm CST. Season Premiere.

The Outdoor Room With Jamie Durie; HGTV.  9 pm CST.  Series Premiere.
Durie gives landscaping a makeover.


Saturday, 1/2

It's Me or the Dog; Animal Planet. 8 pm CST. Season Premiere.

What I Hate About Me; Style. 8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Women complain about themselves, and then get makeovers to "fix" them.

Demons; BBC America. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
A descendant of Abraham Van Helsing becomes a vampire fighter.


Sunday, 1/3

Platinum Weddings; WE.  8 pm CST. Season Premiere.

Desperate Housewives (ABC; 8 pm) has a "What If" episode, where the 'wives imagine what life could have been like had some things gone differently.  I mention this because I'm a sucker for these types of stories.

Durham County; ION. 8 pm CST. 2nd Season Premiere.

Worst Cooks in America; Food Network.  9 pm CST.  Series Premiere.
Terrible cooks compete in a food competition.
Because that's what was missing in the world...

My Christmas Present For The Boys Out There

Santa's Dancers - Watch more Funny Videos

Sorry, Ladies. I didn't look very hard for one for you. :(

My Christmas Present for the Girls Out There

Wizards in Winter in Lights

51 seconds in, my 5-year-old yells out "Chickenfoot".

I couldn't have been more proud.

Yes, it's a Trans-Siberian Orchestra song.
He was commenting on the lights...
Look closely...

Yikes! The Secret is Out

Mom is Santa!

Remember not to do this tonight

Too much repetition in the video, but the song is classic.

South Park: The Spirit of Christmas

I haven't watched this in years. Pretty funny-- if profanity-laden. And if you don't have any humor at all about Jesus Christ, you may want to pass (although the "reason for the season"-- or, at least, what "they'll" have you believe-- is pretty well spelled out by the end).

Take a look at the early version of South Park; the short that got the show green-lit by Comedy Central:

What NOT to Buy Your Wife...

Mad TV's Terminator 3 (w/Jesus)

Obviously, this aired before the third Terminator flick.
Looks like it would have been a superior film.

Romantic Sleigh Ride Turns Bad

Some are tough to read but you can get the gist...

Premieres and Notables; December 21-27, 2009

Monday, 12/21

The Sing Off (NBC; 7 pm CST)  Season Finale

The Closer (TNT; 8 pm CST). Season Finale.


Wednesday, 12/23

I've talked up Glee before, and today FOX is airing two of the best eps of the season.  At 7 pm CST, they air the episode where Kurt attempts to join the football team (highlighted wonderfully by Mike O'Malley's role as Kurt's father) and at 8 pm, the episode that guest-starred Kristen Chenowith airs.

Glee has a number of imperfections, but when it hits the a nice, emotional, element, it's the best show on TV.  Both of these episodes hit that emotional element.  When Kurt told his dad he was gay, I have to say I did not expect the reaction his father gave back.  Surprising, and extremely well written as well as acted.


Thursday, 12/24

NBC airs It's a Wonderful Life at 7 pm.  Sure, it's a little hokey-- but, c'mon, it can still bring a tear to your eye.  And even if you're a cold-hearted bastard, you have to admire Jimmy Stewart's work.  It sure was a different time then.  There is only one actor who might be able to pull off that role now... George Clooney.


Friday, 12/25

TBS runs its annual 24-hr A Christmas Story marathon, beginning at 5 am CST.
I just watched the film a week ago (after a few years), and it just gets more brilliant as I get older.


Saturday, 12/26

5 Ingredient Fix; Food Network.  11:30 am CST. Season Premiere.


Sunday, 12/27

Brothers (FOX; 6:30 pm CST). Season Finale.
"Season Finale"...  Yeah, right. 
Hey, when Joe Buck has the stones to rip on the show on his HBO series-- mere feet from Brothers star Michael Strahan-- and Strahan doesn't kick his ass, I think the writing is on the wall. 
This will be the series finale.

Wrangler Unveils New Line

Got this from my video clip guru, Allan.  Usually there's no link to embed the vids he sends me.

But this time, there was.

Fast Food Duel of the Fates

I'll admit, it's kinda stupid. But I liked the last lines by each character.

Star Wars in 30

All you need to know is contained here:

Premieres and Notables; Dec. 14-20, 2009

Monday, 12/14

The Vampire Diaries; The CW. 7-9 pm CST. Marathon.
In a cool move I'd like to see other networks do, The CW is airing the first half of the season Monday to Friday this week.

The Sing-Off; NBC.  7 pm CST.  Series Premiere.
This daily series (Mon-Wed this week) touts it takes the singing in Glee and mixes it with the competition of

American Idol right in the commercial.
I guess NBC hasn't been able to score on its own, so it may as well rip-off the best...

Bank of Hollywood; E!. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Average blokes beg a panel of L.A. moneybags (like Candy Spelling) to finance their dreams.


Tuesday, 12/15

E2: Design (Sundance; 7 pm). Season Finale.

Paranormal State; A&E. 9 pm CST. Season Premiere.

Funniest Commercials of the Year 2009; TBS. 9 pm CST. Special.
Usually a pretty good hour of TV-- especially since I watch my TV on DVR, DVD, or tape and FastForward through commercials.


Wednesday, 12/16

So You Think You Can Dance (FOX; 7 pm)  Season Finale.

Man vs. Food (Travel; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Nip/Tuck (FX; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Thursday, 12/17

SNL Presents: A Very Gilly Christmas; NBC. 7 pm. Special.
Normally I wouldn't mention an SNL special (as the show has been crap for years), but these clip shows tend to be okay.


Friday, 12/18

Love the Beast; SPEED. 7 pm. Special.
Eric Bana directs this documentary about his 1974 XB Coupe.

Crash (Starz; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Saturday, 12/19

WWE Tribute to the Troops; NBC, 8 pm CST. Special.

Doctor Who: The Waters of Mars; BBC America.  8 pm CST. Special.
The countdown to David Tennant's departure of the series ticks one episode closer...


Sunday, 12/20

Survivor (CBS; 7 pm). Season Finale.

Sesamefield

Now I'm bringing in Sesame Street for further destroy Muppetdom.

Pulp Muppets

It's a complete shame I'm posting this when there's perfectly good real Muppet stuff to post...

The Muppets Go Down to Jamaica

Now completely ruining the Muppets with this parody...

Muppets Went Down to Georgia

Continuing the Muppet theme...

Bohemian Muppets

I'm not sure what the deal is with The Muppets anymore. 
Are they maing a comeback or not?

Possibly, with this new clip from The Muppet Studio.

Premieres and Notables; December 7-13, 2009

Monday, 12/7

The Closer (TNT; 8 pm CST). Mid-Season Return.

Men of a Certain Age; TNT.  9 pm CST. Series premiere.
Great actors in Ray Romano, Scott Bakula, and Andre Braugher as the leads. Unusual premise in three (male) friends experiencing mid-life crises.  And the two TV critics I follow were split on it (TV Guide's Matt Roush hated it; Entertainment Weekly's Ken Tucker loved it).

Million Dollar Listing (Bravo; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Rita Rocks (Lifetime; 9 pm).  Season Finale.


Tuesday, 12/8

Biggest Loser (NBC; 7 pm). Season Finale.

ABC tries again to debut the Christmas special Prep & Landing (7:30 pm CST).

Better Off Ted; ABC.  8:30 pm CST. 2nd Season Premiere.


Wednesday, 12/9

Glee (FOX; 8 pm). Fall Finale.

Spectacle: Elvie Costello With... Sundance.  9 pm CST. Season Premiere.
With... Bono and The Edge.

Top Chef: Las Vegas (Bravo; 9 pm)  Season Finale.


Thursday, 12/10

Stossel; FOX Business. 7 pm CST. Series Premiere.
John Stossel gets his own, live, show.

Fringe (FOX; 8 pm CST). Fall Finale.

The Jeff Dunham Show (Comedy Central; 8 pm)  Season Finale.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Friday, 12/11

Yes, Virginia; CBS. 7:00 pm. Special.
Neil Patrick Harris lends his voice to this Christmas special based on the famous 1897 newspaper editoral that answered Virginia's question with "Yes, Virginia, Santa Claus is real."

Live at Gotham (Comedy Central; 10 pm).  Season Finale.


Saturday, 12/12

Ghost Intervention; TLC. 8 pm. Series Premiere.


Sunday, 12/13

The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty; A&E. 8 pm CST. Miniseries Premiere.
Hey! Look at that! A&E really does do some artsy stuff once in a while.
This mini follows four of the Jackson Five in their efforts to have a reunion tour happen (it started filming before the fifth Jackson died).


Dexter (Showtime; 8 pm).  Season Finale.

Premieres and Notables; November 30- December 6, 2009

Monday, 11/30

Shrek the Halls; ABC. 7:30 pm CST. Special.
A repeat of last year's Holiday special.

Intervention; A&E. 8 pm CST. Season Premiere.

Hoarders; A&E. 9 pm CST. 2nd Season Premiere.
I'm still waiting for my call for them to film my Fortress of Solitude ("mancave").


Tuesday, 12/1

Prep & Landing; ABC.  7:30 pm. Special.
Sarah Chalke and Dave Foley voice the lead characters, who are elves who make sure Santa gets the job done on the 25th.  ABC has been promoting this one, hard.  I also think Pixar had a hand in it (can't say for sure, or how much), so that, alone, will have me tuning in.

Scrubs; ABC. 8 & 8:30 pm. 9th Season Premiere.
After a great series finale last spring, we get "Scrubs 2.0" with many familiar faces alongside a bunch of new ones as Drs. Turk and Cox teach medicine to a number of new recruits.

Britain's Missing Top Model; BBC America. 8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Unconventional models compete to be featured in a fashion magazine.

Sherri  (Lifetime; 9 pm CST).  Season Finale.

Sons of Anarchy (FX; 9 pm CST). Season Finale.


Wednesday, 12/2

Bank of Mom & Dad (SOAPNet; 9 pm CST).  Season Finale.

Steven Seagal Lawman; A&E.  9 pm CST.  Series Premiere.
Steven Seagal chronicles his career as a real-life Louisiana sheriff's deputy.
I can't wait until Entertainment Tonight breaks the story that he snapped a perp's neck.

Top Chef Las Vegas (Bravo; 9 pm CST). Season Finale.

Launch My Line; Bravo. 10 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Bravo tries to re-catch lightning in a bottle with another attempt to replace Project Runway.


Friday, 12/4

Monk (USA; 8 pm) Series Finale.
Monk gets the break he needs to solve his wife's murder.


Saturday, 12/5

The Ultimate Fighter: The Heavyweights (Spike; 8 pm CST).  Season Finale.


Sunday, 12/6

Amazing Race (CBS; 7 pm). Season Finale.

Alice; Syfy. 8 pm CST. 2-part mini-series.
A "reimagining" of Alice in Wonderland in the vein that last year's Tin Man retold The Wizard of Oz.

Shatner's Raw Nerve; Bio. 9 pm CST.  2nd Season Premiere.

Premieres and Notables; November 23-29, 2009

Monday, 11/23

Surviving the Holidays With Lewis Black; History.  7 pm CST. Special.
Low-key comic, Lewis Black, gives helpful tips (along with a little history lesson) on making it through the next month's worth of holiday madness.

Battlestar Galactica's Katie Sackhoff shows up on The Big Bang Theory (CBS; 8:30 pm CST).


Tuesday, 11/24

V (ABC; 7 pm CST). Mid-Season Finale.
TV's biggest hit of the year takes a nap for the next few months (returning in March); but not before giving us a killer cliffhanger (what I expect, anyway).

How the Earth Was Made; History.  8 pm CST. Season Premiere.
Taking a look at how the Grand Canyon was formed.

Dancing With the Stars (ABC; 8:01 CST).  Season Finale.

Dinner With the Band; IFC. 10 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Chef Sam Mason hosts dinner parties for indie bands in New York.


Friday, 11/27

Shameless; Sundance. 7 pm CST. Season Premiere.

Monk (USA; 8 pm) airs the first part of its 2-part series finale, which focuses on Monk finally solving Trudy's murder.

The Foo Fighters get their turn on Storytellers (VH1; 10 pm).  I'm not much of a fan, but I do think Dave Grohl's pretty funny, so it should be a lively show.


Sunday, 11/29

The 26th Anniversary Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Concert; HBO.  7 pm CST. Special.
Four hours of music by past presenters and inductees such as Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, Aretha Franklin, Simon & Garfunkel, U2, Metallica, Mick Jagger, Billy Joel, Stevie Wonder, The Black Eyed Peas, Smokey Robinson, and Sting. 
And, as these shows often do, the performers mix-and-match and jam with each other.
If this sounds cool, just think of what the actual 25th anniversary (in 2011) celebration will be like...
[That's a little math joke, people.  The first inductees to the Hall was in 1986...]

Stormchasers (Discovery; 9 pm). Season Finale.