Obama is a Dick

Obama: I'm A Dick! - watch more funny videos

How to Avoid Getting Hit By a Train

Pool Cleaning Faceplant

"Godammit! Your face!"

Doctor Who Series Six Part 2 Trailer

Oh hellz yeah!

Kobe Bryant Talks NBA Lockout

Kobe Bryant on the NBA Lockout - watch more funny videos

Best First Pitch Ever

Best First Pitch Ever - watch more funny videos

Star Wars: Longest Crash Ever

Premieres and Notables: July 25-31, 2011

Tuesday, 7/26

Deadliest Catch (Discovery; 8 pm CST). Season Finale.


Thursday, 7/28

Project Runway; Lifetime. 8 pm CST. 9th Season Premiere.

LA Ink; TLC. 9 pm CST. Season Premiere.


Friday, 7/29

Thundercats; Cartoon Network. 7 pm CST. Series Premiere.
The "classic" '80s 'toon gets a modern-- and anime-- makeover.

Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids (TLC. 9 pm CST). Season Finale.

Deadly Women; Investigation Discovery.  9 pm CST. Season Premiere.

Wolverine/Iron Man; G4. 10 pm CST. Series Premieres.
Both Marvel Heroes get their own half-hours in these anime-style adaptations.  I'm not "down" with anime myself-- but Warren Ellis has a supervisory role on the shows, so I hope they'll be true to the comics.  And, with Ellis around, probably a little bat-shit crazy to boot.


Saturday, 7/30

MTV2's 120 Minutes With Matt Pinfield; MTV2.  Midnight CST.  Series Return.
The '90s alternative rock show gets a monthly return.

Carson Nation (OWN; 9 pm CST). Season Finale.

Friday Night Dinner; BBC America. 10:30 pm CST. Series Premiere.


Sunday, 7/31

Discovery's annual "Shark Week" begins with Great White Invasion (8 pm CST).

American Ninja Warrior; G4. 8 pm CST. Season Premiere.

The Real L Word (Showtime; 9 pm CST). Season Finale.

Against the Wall; Lifetime. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Rachel Carpani stars as a detective who joins the Internal Affairs unit-- against her cop family's wishes.

The Walking Dead Season Two Trailer

Okay-- I'm officially excited...

B&B are back-- with Cornholio as well

Here's a sneak peek at what the new Beavis and Butthead series will have for us.

Get More: Beavis and Butt-Head, MTV Shows

Fastest Draw in the West

"Speed of light."
Awesome.

Getting into the Death Star wasn't as easy as we thought

Flah Bang Nut Shot

The Vancouver Canucks loss in the Stanley Cup started a riot (silly Canadians: you're supposed to riot when you win), whihc resulted in this dude getting sterilized.



(PS-- I was just kidding about "silly Canadians". Rioting over sports is stupid, but at least they didn't trash a city after a win like the dumbasses on this side of the border.)

(PPS-- Not every American city riots. Just the dumbass ones.)

This what you get for trying to help a friend

Burning Bridges

No Friends Attached Mashup

Why see both when they're pretty much the same thing?

Premieres and Notables: July 18-24, 2011

Monday, 7/18

Hell's Kitchen; Fox. 7 pm CST. Season Premiere.

Giuliana & Bill; Style. 7 pm CST. 4th Season Premiere.

Degrassi; Teen Nick.  8 pm CST. 11th Season Premiere.

Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel; HBO. 9 pm CST. Season Premiere.
I'm not sure how a once-a-month show can have a season premiere, but I'll take any opportunity to mention it.  This is a fantastic show, and if you need a "season premiere" to start watching then this is the right month for you.


Tuesday, 7/19

It's Worth What?; NBC. 7 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Cedric the Entertainer hosts this new game show where contestants guess how much various items cost.

Ludo Bites America; Sundance. 8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Intense chef Ludo Lefebvre and his wife travel across America and open one-night-only restaurants every week.

Gene Simmons Family Jewels (A&E; 9 pm CST). Season Finale.

Web Therapy; Showtime. 10 pm CST. Series premiere.
Lisa Kudrow brings her Web series about an online therapist to TV .


Wednesday, 7/20

Storage Wars; A&E. 9 pm CST. Season Premiere.

Deadliest Warrior; Spike. 9 pm CST. Season Premiere.

South Beach Tow; truTV. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
This reality show follows a Miami towing company. exciting.


Friday, 7/22

Heat Seekers; Food Network.  9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Chefs Aaron Sanchez and Roger Mooking travel the country, trying the hottest foods they come across.


Sunday, 7/24

Same Name; CBS. 8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Celebs change "lives" with average people with their names.
In the pilot, actor David Hasselhoff lives as landscaper David Hasselhoff-- and vice versa.

I Do Over; WEtv. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Couples get a second chance to have their dream wedding.

Entourage; HBO. 9:30 pm CST. 8th Season Premiere.
The final season begins as Vince gets out of rehab.

Rollercoaster Safety With Patrick Warburton

Because who else would you trust with your rollercoaster safety?

I can't embed it, so here's the link:

http://youtu.be/i3Co3c2Ydqo

Most Epic Beer Commercial Ever

How to get fired via YouTube

First: check out this parody of the NFL CBA using a common clip from the film "Downfall":



Awesome right?

--It was created by Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe.

So, yeah-- I'm curious to know the NFL's reaction. (<--and what I meant in the title)
Heck, I'm curious to know what his union thinks of this...

Funny.
Ballsy.
Love it.

This is what happens when those guys don't have enough to do. Time to make the deal and get them back to work.

Mr. Face tries a Mamet play

Mr. Face tries acting in productions not endorsed by Nick Jr.

"Bigfoot" is Coming...

Sextape-- The View-- Remix

One of the most bizarre things I've ever watched...

Space Movies with Big Brother Thunder

So bad (cheesy) it's good.

Mellow Brick Road

All sounds came from the movie-- just remixed.  Cool in and of itself-- but we also get great animation to go with it (the effectiveness-- and simplicity-- of the design is amazing).

Premieres and Notables: July 11-17 3, 2011

Monday, 7/11

Adventure Time; Cartoon Network. 7 pm CST. Season Premiere.

Eureka; Syfy. 7 pm CST. Mid-season Premiere.

The Closer; TNT. 8 pm CST. 8th Season Premiere.
The final season begins...

HGTV Design Star; HGTV. 8 pm CST. Season Premiere.

Alphas; Syfy. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
David Strathairn leads a group of extra-powered people as they fight crime.

Surprise Homecoming; TLC. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Billy Ray Cyrus hosts this show that reunites people with their military family members who had been serving overseas.


Tuesday, 7/12

It's Worth What? NBC. 7 pm CST. Season Premiere.

Food(ography); Cooking. 8 pm CST. Season Premiere.

How the States Got Their Shapes (History; 9 pm CST.) Season Finale.


Wednesday, 7/13

Damages; DirecTV. 9 pm CST. 4th Season Premiere.

Rescue me; FX. 9 pm CST. 7th Season Premiere.
The final eps begin tonight.

Roseanne's Nuts; Lifetime. 8:30 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Roseanne Barr moves to Hawaii, takes up a macadamia farm, and invites camera crews to film it.

The Franchise: A Season With the San Francisco Giants; Showtime. 9 pm CST. Season Premiere.

Dance Mom; Lifetime. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.

Who the [Bleep] Did I Marry? Investigation Discovery. 9 pm CST. Season Premiere.

I Married a Mobster; Investigation Discovery. 9:30 pm CST. Series Premiere.


Thursday, 7/14

Sweet Home Alabama; CMT. 8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
A woman from Alabama has ten city boys and ten country boys to choose from in this dating competition.

Texas Women; CMT. 9 pm CST.  Series Premiere.
Four Texas women's lives are chronicled in this reality series.

The Green Room With Paul Provenza; Showtime. 10 pm CST. Season Premiere.


Friday, 7/15

Friday Night Lights (NBC; 7 pm CST). Series Finale (on NBC).
If you missed The End on DirecTV earlier this year-- or just want to experience it all again-- here it is.

PrankStars; Disney Channel. 7 pm CST. Series Premiere.
It's Punk'd for the Disney crowd.

Haven; Syfy. 9 pm CST. 2nd Season Premiere.


Saturday, 7/16

Pit Boss; Animal Planet. 9 pm CST. Season Premiere.


Sunday, 7/17

Big Rich Texas; Style. 8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Five pairs of mothers and daughters are followed in this reality series.

Breaking Bad; AMC. 9 pm CST. 4th Season Premiere.

Bar Rescue; Spike. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
A bar consultant tries to help bar owners get their clientele drinking again.

Banana Attacks Gorilla

Flamethrowing Trombone

Star Wars Regret

Love this one...

Some Unnecessary Censorship from 2009

Obama must have been at a Tea Party rally...

TV Season 2010-2011: Top Ten Pt 2

Justified.  I was a bit disappointed to not see the fantastic interplay between Raylan and his boss as often as in Season One, but Raylan had other things occupying his time.  And how do you try to follow Boyd and Beau Crowder?  Why, you introduce Mags Bennett and her sons, who proved to be just as dangerous—and much more under-the-table with their crimes. 

I will admit to being a little disappointed in the new love combinations this season. Seeing Raylan go backwards in his relationship was a bit too “easy”, but you can’t turn down Natalie Zea, I guess.  Ava’s new interest came out of left-field, though, and because she was seen so little this year, it was hard to see why she went the direction she did.

 

Modern Family.  This show is so consistently good—and yet so NOT showy—it’s easy to forget just how great it truly is.  But, looking at it with a critical eye, it’s nearly flawless.  The writing is spot-on and the characters and situations always fit together.  The six adult actors are masters of their crafts and their characters.  And the younger actors must be learning something from them because I can’t faults with their work either—and this show doesn’t hide them off-screen; very often, they are the main parts of the side-plots.  These characters are all very real, and that’s incredibly rare.

           

Something else I enjoy about the show is: it’s not cynical or mean-spirited.  Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE that type of humor—but I can also appreciate a show that gets by on not having it (other than a playful “jab” at a husband or a sister).  This is a show that is based completely on love and mutual respect, and it’s very very rare to see a movie, let alone a continuing TV series pull it off.

And it’s funny.  Always funny.

 

Raising Hope.  Like the above, this show is also based on love—but there is a heck of a lot of cynicism in it as well.  Like My Name is Earl, this show tries to prove even the “worst”, most selfish people can be good.  There is some crazy and wicked behavior going on, but the base of the entire show is this extended family that is trying to make the world a little better for the baby of the family.  And they have a tough time of it with all the kooks and oddballs that live in their little neighborhood.

           

I have to say I probably laughed out loud more watching this show than any other this season.

The Walking Dead.  I’ll admit this wasn’t the best show I watched this year, but I loved the ambitiousness of it.  The creators and actors are going “all in” with this show.  From great zombie effects to the pure “real-people” nature of the characters, this show is worth keeping your eyes on.  Yeah, some of the lines are hokey, some of the plots are littered with holes, and the blood and explosion CGI effects are cringe-worthy, but I consider those aberrations to what the show is trying to accomplish, which is to show what would really happen if the people around you died and then came back, wanting to eat you.      

This show can and does surprise on a weekly basis (and I’ve read the comics the series is based on).  I have a feeling season two will continue to blow-up expectations—and it’ll settle into an amazing look at the nature of humanity.  All while dodging creatures that crave eating human flesh…

Torchwood.  At first, I was a bit jarred to see this show that spun-off of the kid-friendly Doctor Who be as raw as it is (definitely couldn’t be a network series in America), but that rawness allowed it to tell stories in ways I have never seen before.  Captain Jack Harkness leads a small group of humans in their efforts to control the alien technology that keeps popping-up on Earth.  Jack (an immortal time-traveler) also knows something big is coming, so his little band of heroes is also supposed to lead the charge against an upcoming alien invasion (another reason they are collecting all these alien artifacts and weapons they find).

This is a show for grown-ups because of the frank sexuality and violent nature of some of their cases.  The protagonists are also only “heroes” in the sense that they usually do the right thing.  But not always.  They all have their pasts.  They are all petty at times and lustful at others.  It reminds me a lot of one of my favorite shows, Angel, which followed less-than-perfect characters trying to do the right thing.  In many ways, these characters, who deal with aliens, and demons, and other supernatural things, are more real than most other characters you’d find in TV and movies because they have realistic foibles. 

I also find the “omnisexual” (man, woman, alien, whatever) nature of Captain Jack interesting.  One of my favorite “love stories” on TV or film—ever-- was contained in a truly heartbreaking episode that showed a love from Jack’s past, an American soldier in World War II.  It was very sweet, and very real, and the fact that it was between two men made no difference on its impact.  What’s interesting is that it isn’t pointed out.  There are no “very special episodes” dealing with whom Jack gets involved with.  He just finds someone he’s attracted to, and goes for it.

This show isn’t for everyone, but if you like very grounded science-fiction on your TV with sophisticated characters and backstories, and can handle some sex, violence, and vulgarity, give it a look.

Chickenfoot is Coming

Even with new Van Halen (supposedly) on the horizon, I'm pumped as Hell for this.

It's gonna rock...

Popular Science Blows stuff up

Slo-mo, Hi-Def footgae of fireworks in action

TV Season 2010-2011: Top Ten Pt 1

The first half.  Some I had lots to write about, others I didn't.  Doesn't mean anything other than: some I had lots to write about, and some I didn't.

Archer.  This is a show I was consistently entertained by, even though I can’t always pin-down what happened.  I just know I always laughed. I hate knowing who the voice actors are on most shows and movies, but it’s really hard not to acknowledge the great work by H Jon Benjamin and Aisha Tyler.  I, seriously, can’t picture anyone else doing those voices.  And that’s not to say Chris Parnell, Judy Greer, Amber Nash, and Jessica Walter don’t deserve props, but I can’t even imagine not hearing the cocky, sarcastic, yet borderline whiny Benjamin—and NO ONE can say one word (“Yep”) that says as much as Tyler can.  

Unlike last year, when the supporting characters “made” this show for me, this year, it was Sterling Archer himself.  He’s still a complete dick, but the people around him let all their quirks out, so Archer was actually the stable one of the show.  If you watched the first season, your eyebrows should have raised with that comment…

Community.  Definitely a show that’s too quirky for everyone, but that quirkiness is also the largest part of its charm.  This show can tell any type of story on any subject and completely break down the walls of what is expected.  A zombie story for Halloween that was outrageous (but held together by a loose plot that “could be” real), Abed’s whacked-out Claymation Christmas dream, a episode revolving around a game of Dungeons and Dragons that had more character development than most shows do in a season, and an anti-drug skit that was increasingly outrageous—and hilarious.  As well as an episode that was heading toward one parody/homage and completely flipped into another.  This show can do just about anything, and that’s one of the joys of tuning in every week.

Another fun part is how the show is becoming more and more meta.  Little things from past episodes pop up in the background of new episodes.  It’s becoming quite a bit like Arrested Development in the shout-outs to past things (on-screen and off-screen; another fine development is that these characters have lives we don’t always see on the show).  But the show does not feel as insular as AD, and the plots are very new-viewer friendly.

Doctor Who.  I feel I’ve written most of this before, but I couldn’t find that I wrote it in last year’s TV “wrap-up”, so who knows? 

The Eleventh Doctor (played wonderfully by Matt Smith) blows onto the scene and turns away an alien invasion with only the mention that he is The Doctor in his very first episode.  This guy is different than the last two Doctors I’ve been exposed to.  A little bit goofy, not as “hard” as the Ninth Doctor, and not as mentally adept as the Tenth Doctor—but he now flaunts his rep and sometimes that’s all he needs to solve his problem. 

Smith stepped into an impossible situation by replacing the beloved David Tennant as The Doctor. Showrunner/head writer Steven Moffat stepped into an impossible situation by replacing Russell T. Davies, who reinvented the series for the current times and made the show a monster success across the pond.  But they both pulled it off.  Smith, by not aping Tennant’s style, and Moffatt by not aping the tone that Davies did so well.  They both did their own thing—but very much as what one can expect from both Doctor Who, the character, and Doctor Who, the series.

But even though they both did their things, it was still refreshing to see them hold to what came before.  I loved that they went in new directions, yet still brought back some old characters and enemies.  And I really appreciate that one episode that season hit me in the gut just like at least one episode did in each of the previous four seasons.  Knowing you can introduce a character and make us love him/her so much in a single hour is a monster achievement.  (I’m thinking specifically about episode 10: “Vince and The Doctor”).

And of course I‘d be remiss to not mention that Karen Gillian’s role as Amy Pond also continues the winning streak the show has had when it comes to The Doctor’s companions.  Pond is an integral character to the show, and can be whatever is needed: scared, heroic, strong, funny… Everything a companion needs to be.  But she also brings a few new things that other companions didn’t necessarily have: a secret (she’s engaged), a longing for The Doctor (who she met as a young girl and couldn’t forget), and a little sexy (not that the others weren’t; but Amy is slightly more intended to be—as least as sexy as one can be on what is, at heart, a children’s show).

Episodes.  The very British-humor type series took a while to get going, but when it did, it was really good.  First-off, it featured two of my favorite British actors (from my favorite British show: Green Wing) as writers brought to America to adapt their highly-acclaimed comedy to an American audience.  Sounds great.  But you know how so many adaptations of successful shows/movies or books get somehow screwed-up beyond recognition?  This series shows you how it happens. 

The writers meet a producer who LOVES their award-winning show and wants it to be adapted for America.  The writers move to L.A. to begin production and then it’s revealed the producer has never watched an episode of the original.  Then the older actor who runs the school the show is based on is replaced for the “better” Matt LeBlanc (neither a gentleman—as portrayed in this series—or an old man).  More “wouldn’t it be better if…”s like “how about the main character be a hockey coach instead of the head of the school?” and “How about the hot lesbian (and thus unattainable as a romantic partner for LeBlanc’s character) librarian not be a lesbian” (and attainable as a romantic partner for LeBlanc’s character)? are added to the adaptation, and eventually it looks nothing like the original.  And not a single change makes the show better.  But we get to see how it happens.  I found it completely realistic because I’ve read many stories where the best of intentions to make a really great project amounted in a result that was a mess at best and a travesty at worst.  I mean, how do great actors get roped into shitty movies that aren’t about the paycheck?  Because the movies don’t end up being what they signed-on for.

I find the whole creative process fascinating.  How does a germ of an idea get to be a movie? How does a TV show get made?  What “pains” does a band go through to create an album?  How does an injury screw up a team/company’s plans for the rest of the year?  Hollywood is full of bullshit, and it was fun to watch it go on around these characters.

I also have to give a lot of credit to Matt LeBlanc, who was not really the main character of this series but was expected to carry it.  He played a version of himself (a little dumber, a little cockier, a little more egocentric than he really is—but he is also “blessed” with a huge schwing-schwang on the show, so the exaggerations were not all bad) and while you’d think that’d be easy, it probably wasn’t because the “Matt LeBlanc” of this series is pretty unlikeable.  It’s one thing for Larry David to be an ass on his own show, but LeBlanc was an actor and not a creator on this one, so he stuck his neck out on it to tweak the fan expectations of what “Matt LeBlanc” is really like (after assuming he’s quite a bit like Joey from Friends).  But it worked.

How I Met Your Mother.  Not the funniest or most clever season this show has had, but I loved how they are changing the characters subtly.  The ongoing arc of one character dealing with a death was very poignant while another dealt with a father s/he didn’t know.  These characters are growing up, and it’s nice to see them not repeat the same patterns as in previous seasons.  After six years, you should expect people of that age to experience growth—and loss.  This show is no longer constantly “on the bubble”, so they’re able to unfold storylines that they know they can spread out a bit, instead of just teasing us about getting close to answering the titular question.

Furniture Fix Dub

A few F-bombs here...

TV Season 2010-2011: Honorable Mentions

When you watch ninety-some shows, it's hard to narrow it down to the best ten-- so I'm gonna knock-out a few honorable mentions that just missed the cut.

Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel.  Still one of the best news shows I’ve ever seen.  It can take a subject I have only a mild interest in—sports—and give a human quality to their subjects that is better than anything that can be made up.  Pure brilliance and purely enthralling.

Terriers.  This show was very well put-together, but I never really fell in love with it like I had hoped to.  I’ll be happy with the one season we got—and I’ll probably pick it up on DVD if it’s ever released.  But I am not aching to have a second season (even with the “cliffhanger” ending).

The Good Guys.  I found this show to be much more hilarious than it probably was, but Bradley Whitford cracked me up every time he was on screen.  One of the best characters I’ve seen on TV.  And I loved the way the episodes moved forward and back through time to be brought full-circle by the end credits.

The League.  Not a great show, but much better than the spotty first season.  I really grew to looking forward to this show every Thursday.  Some outrageous moments and some laugh-out-loud moments as well.  Hopefully It’s Sunny in Philadelphia was watching because that show used to be this funny and outrageous.

The Soup.  No show I watch is more snarky—or spotlights the blatant stupidity-- of reality/talk shows (and some “soap opera” moments on scripted shows).  In a world where every entertainment “news” show basically hand-jobs these reality shows, The Soup is a breath of fresh reality. And it’s very witty, which is something I always enjoy.

The Count Likes to [censored]

TV Shows 2010-2011 Season

As in the past, I've mentioned the shows I dug the most from June until May.  And, as a matter of honesty, I also mention the TV shows I watched, so there are no "Where the hell is Friday Night Lights?" or any other great show I don't mention.  I watch a stupid amount of television, but I can't watch it all.

Anyway: Here is the list of shows I watched from June 2010 to the end of May 2011, give or take a few weeks where a show may have drifted (such as a show that premiered in May 2011 and is still airing, I may not count until next year).  About ninety shows I at least tried this year.

Yeah-- stupid amount of TV...

After Lately; E!
American Dad; FOX
Archer; FX
Attack of the Show; G4

Better With You; ABC (2 eps)
Big Brother 12; CBS
Big Love; HBO
[Bleep] My Dad Says; CBS (2 eps)
Bob’s Burgers; Fox
Boondocks; adult swim
Breaking In; Fox

Californication; Showtime

Chelsea Lately; E! (about one a week)
Children’s Hospital; adult swim
Community; NBC
Cougartown; ABC

Delocated! Adult swim (4 eps)
Desperate Housewives; ABC (7 eps)
Doctor Who; BBC America

Eastbound & Down; HBO
Episodes; Showtime
Entourage; HBO

Family Guy; Fox
Futurama; Comedy Central

Gavin and Stacy; BBC America
Glee; Fox

Happy Endings; ABC
Hard Knocks: NY Jets; HBO
Hawaii Five-O; CBS (8 eps)
Hellcats; CW (half the season)
Hot in Cleveland; TV Land
How I Met Your Mother; CBS

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia; FX

Justified; FX

Leverage; TNT
Life Unexpected; The CW (3 eps)
Louie; FX

Mad Love; CBS
Mary Shelley’s Frankenhole; adult swim (4 eps)
Men of a Certain Age; TNT
Mike & Molly; CBS (3 eps)
Modern Family; ABC

Not Going Out; BBC America

Outsourced; NBC

Parenthood; NBC (3 eps)
Parks and Recreation; NBC
Penn & Teller’s Bullshit; Showtime
Perfect Couples; NBC

Raising Hope; Fox
Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel; HBO
Real Time with Bill Maher; HBO
Robot Chicken; adult swim
Rules of Engagement; CBS (6 eps)
Running Wilde; Fox

Sons of Tucson; Fox
South Park; Comedy Central
Sports Show With Norm McDonald; Comedy Central

Terriers; FX
That Metal Show; VH1 Classic
The Big Bang Theory; CBS
The Big C; Showtime (3 eps)
The Chicago Code; Fox
The Cleveland Show; Fox
The Event; NBC
The Good Guys; Fox
The Hard Times of RJ Berger; MTV
The League; FX
The Middle; ABC
The Office; NBC
The Onion News; IFC OnDemand (3 eps)
The Onion Sportsdome; Comedy Central
The Simpsons; Fox
The Soup; E!
The Soup Presents; E!
The Venture Brothers; adult swim
The Walking Dead; AMC
30 For 30; ESPN (about half the eps)
30 Rock; NBC
Tosh.0; Comedy Central
Traffic Light; Fox

Undercovers; NBC (4 eps)

Web Soup; G4
Weeds; Showtime
Wipeout; ABC (the summer 2010 run)
Workaholics; Comedy Central

**Not new during June 2010-May 2011:

Alias Season 5
Big Love Season 4
Torchwood Season 1, Season 2

Ball Jugglers

Premieres and Notables: July 4-10, 2011

Monday, 7/4

Passport: Venezuela; Nuvo TV. 9 pm CS. Series Premiere.
Wilmer Valderrama takes a trip to his native Venezuela.


Wednesday, 7/6

Flipping Out; Bravo. 8 pm CST. 5th Season Premiere.

Men of a Certain Age (TNT; 9 pm CST). Season Finale.

I Shouldn't Be Alive; Animal Planet. 9 pm CST. Season Premiere.

Restaurant: Impossible; Food Network. 9 pm CST. Season Premiere.


Thursday, 7/7

Big Brother 13; CBS.  8 pm CST.  Season Premiere.
I'm not even going to pretend I won't watch this again this year.  For some reason, this idiotic show-- and the Chen-Bot-- hook me every single year.


Friday, 7/8

Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids; TLC. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.


Sunday, 7/10

Curb Your Enthusiasm; HBO. 9 pm CST. 8th Season Premiere.

The Protector; Lifetime. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Ally Walker stars in this show about a LAPD homicide detective.

Torchwood: Miracle Day; Starz. 9 pm CST. Ten Episode Mini-series Premiere.
After the Children of Earth fall-out, what's left of the Torchwood team finds itself in America to investigate the odd phenomena that no one on Earth can die.   And, in typical Torchwood fashion, it's not all it's cracked up to be. 
And it seems as if except Captain Jack, who was immortal, has now lost that ability while everyone has gained it.
This is Torchwood's first adventure that was produced by an American network, and I think they're going to go all-out on it.  Children of Earth was excellent from everything I've read (haven't gotten to it yet myself), and the first two seasons of the show were pretty great. I recommend this mini-series (although at ten eps, it's as long as many cable series seasons).

George Lucas Strikes Back

Maybe he wanted a red one...

I don't think this is how to ride a cycle...

Kid Gives Speech After Learning to Ride a Bike

Double shot-- front AND back

Batman Beatdown

With all the training Bruce Wayne went through, he falls back on slapping when he meets this perp.

Five Second Rule Applies-- Even on NYC Subway

Not Every turtle is Slow

Check this out...

BMX Head Plant

Premieres and Notables: June 27-July 3, 2011

Monday, 6/27

The Winx Club; Nickelodeon. 7 pm CST. Series Premiere.
A teen finds out she's special and can join a fairy school.

I Kid With Brad Garret; TLC. 7 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Garrett hangs out with kids and does "kid things".

Weeds; Showtime. 9 pm CST. 7th Season Premiere.
It's Three-Years-Later since last season's finale, so they've got some catching up to do.

The Big C; Showtime. 9:30 pm CST. 2nd Season Premiere.


Wednesday, 6/29

The Voice (NBC; 7 pm CST). Season Finale.

Melissa & Joey; ABC Family.  7 pm CST. Series Return. (or new season; it's unclear).

State of Georgia; ABC Family.  7:30 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Two "besties" move to NYC to make their dreams comes true.

I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant; TLC. 8 pm CST.  Season Premiere.

Love in the Wild; NBC. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Ten men and ten women compete-- and try to find love-- in a Costa Rican jungle.

Necessary Roughness; USA.  9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Callie Thorne stars as a single mom psychotherapist who specializes in football players.


Thursday, 6/30

Extreme Chef; Food Network.  9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
A cooking contest that is x-treme.

Ugly Americans; Comedy Central. 9:30 pm CST. Season Premiere.


Friday, 7/1

Bucket & Skinner's Epic Adventures; Nickelodeon. 7 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Two friends surf their way through their freshman year of high school.


Sunday, 7/3

Treme (HBO; 9 pm CST). Season Finale.

This man knows the coolest way to get into a car

She Wants to Have Your Baby

Live TV is Awesome-- Guy Humps Reporter

Jon Benjamin's Ultimate Trick Shot Video

Now-- before you hot "play", understand: you're gonna see some cock...

I kept laughing-- but there is dick.

Fair warning...

Jon Benjamin's Ultimate Trick Shot Video (NSFW) from Jon Benjamin

The Great Fan Escape

Crazy.

Weiner's Texts Revealed

(Former) Congressman Weiner's actual text exchanges-- read by Bill maher and Jane Lynch.

The Weinerlogues with Jane Lynch - watch more funny videos

Great Moments in History with Gus Johnson

TV trailers for 6/20 to 6/26

Got a few odd ones this week.

Maybe a trailer will help.

Combat Hospital:



Expedition Impossible:



Wilfred:

Premieres and Notables: June 20-26, 2011

Monday, 6/20

Countdown With Keith Olberman; Current TV. 7 pm CST. Series Premiere.

Hoarders; A&E. 8 pm CST. Season Premiere.

RuPaul's Drag U; Logo. 8 pm CST. Season Premiere.


Tuesday, 6/21

History Detectives; PBS. 7 pm CST (check local listings). Season Premiere.

101 Ways to Leave a Game Show; ABC. 8 pm CST. Series Premiere.

Hardcore Pawn; TRU TV. 8 pm CST. Season Premiere.

Staten Island Cakes; WE TV. 8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Wow! Another docuseries focusing on making cakes!

Combat Hospital; ABC. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
A combat medical drama set in 2006 Afghanistan.

Nail Files; TV Guide Network. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
If the excitement of getting your nails done in real life isn't enough, check out this new series.


Wednesday, 6/22

Cee Lo Green: Talking to Strangers; Fuse. 10 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Cee Lo chats with fellow musicians.


Thursday, 6/23

Expedition Impossible; ABC. 8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Thirteen teams of three compete in this hardcore-environment competition in Morocco-- for an SUV and $50K each!

Rookie Blue; ABC. 9 pm CST. 2nd Season Premiere.

Futurama; Comedy Central. 9 & 9:30 pm CST. Season Premiere.

Wilfred; FX. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Elijah Wood stars as a man who decides to commit suicide-- but then meets a beautiful woman with a dog that only he can see as a man dressed as a dog.

Suits; USA. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
An attorney hires a hustler to join his firm.

Louie; FX. 9:30 pm CST. 2nd season Premiere.


Saturday, 6/25

Carson Nation; OWN. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Carson Kressley travels the country to make people's lives better.
And he's doing it by staying local and within people's means. No crazy expensive clothes or hairstyles to keep up with.


Friday, 6/24

Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution (ABC; 8 pm CST). Series Finale.


Sunday, 6/26

Leverage; TNT. 8 pm CST. 4th Season Premiere.

True Blood; HBO. 8 pm CST. 4th Season Premiere.

The Marriage Ref; NBC. 9 pm CST. 2nd Season Premiere.

Darth Vader's Father's Day

There are some cute lines in this one.

Don't do it in the park

You cannot write this shit.

Classic.

The Inbetweeners: Bus Wankers Gone Wrong

Don't forget to check out season 3 on BBC America tomorrow at 10 pm CST.



And here's a clever one:

Parking Lot Nutshot

Vegan Black Metal Chef Ep. 1-- Pad Thai

Haters Gonna Hate-- Schoolyard Edition

New SW: Old Republic Trailer; E3 2011

Man, if the prequels would have had excitement like this...

(Could have done without a few of the slow-mo effects, but still great stuff.)

Premieres and Notables: June 13-19, 2011

Monday, 6/13

Kickin' It; Disney XD. 7:30 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Jason Earles stars as the master of a martial arts academy full of misfits.

Nurse Jackie (Showtime; 9 pm CST). Season Finale.

United States of Tara (Showtime; 9:30 pm CST). Series Finale.


Tuesday, 6/14

The Nine Lives of Chloe King; ABC Family. 8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Miss King turns 16, and her whole life changes. She finds she has heightened senses and retractable claws-- and that she's a half-god.

Memphis Beat; TNT. 8 pm CST. 2nd Season Premiere.

Gene Simmons Family Jewels; A&E. 9 pm CST. Season Premiere.

Hawthorne; TNT. 9 pm CST. 3rd Season Premiere.


Wednesday, 6/15

Top Chef Masters (Bravo; 9 pm CST). Season Finale.

Hot in Cleveland; TV Land.  9 pm CST. Mid-season Return.

Jon Benjamin Has a Van; Comedy Central. 9:30 pm CST.
Archer and Bob's Burgers lead voice actor shows up onscreen in this fake-news show.

Happily Divorced; TV Land. 9:30 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Fran Drescher co-created and stars in this sitcom about a married couple who divorces when the man (played by John Michael Higgins) comes-out as gay (based loosely on Drescher's own life).

Rocco's Dinner Party; Bravo. 10 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Yet another food reality show...


Thursday, 6/16

Voltron Force: New Defenders Trilogy; Nicktoons. 7:30 pm CST. Series Premiere.
An update of the '80s anime series.


Friday, 6/17

The Singing Bee (CMT; 7 pm CST). Season Finale.

Flea Man; National Geographic. 7 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Flea-market pro Jimmy "the Flea Man" Kaplow helps people prepare and sell their stuff at flea markets.

A.N.T. Farm; Disney Channel. 7:30 pm CST. Series Premiere.
An 11-year-old finds herself in high school due to her gifted musical talents.

Paranormal Challenge; Travel. 8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Ghost hunters spend a night in haunted locations.


Saturday, 6/18

COPS (Fox; 7 pm CST). Season Finale.

Parking Wars (A&E; 9 pm CST). Season Finale.

Celebrity Close Calls; Bio. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Yancy Butler, Cheryl Tiegs, and Ed Begley Jr. tell stories of their brushes with death.

The Inbetweeners; BBC America. 10 pm CST. Season Premiere.
After a waaaay too long wait, BBC Am is bringing us the final season of one of my favorite shows.  It's lewd and crude, but if you can handle that type of comedy, you'll laugh your ass off.

Come Fly With Me; BBC America. 10:30 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Little Britain's Matt Lucas and David Williams bring their style of comedy (and multiple personalities) to this mockumentary show about airlines and airports.


Sunday, 6/19

Game of Thrones (HBO; 8 pm CST). Season Finale.

Falling Skies; TNT. 8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Noah Wylie stars in this series co-Steven Spielberg as a history professor who became a resistance fighter when the planet is invaded by aliens.
The series begins six months after said invasion, where 80% of the population has been wiped out and teens are being enslaved by humanity's captors.
The second episode is penned by Justified producer/showrunner Graham Yost, so there's some potential this will be better than your average sci-fi show.

Drop Dead Diva; Lifetime. 8 pm CST. 3rd Season Premiere.

The Killing (AMC; 9 pm CST). Season Finale.

Runaway Mail Truck

Big Balls Whoops

New Era-- Trash Talking & One Hitter

Two commercials for the price of one:

That's why you never let your kids smoke

In Soviet Russia, real men don't land on their feet...

Dogstep

Premieres and Notables: June 6-19, 2011

Monday, 6/6

Baggage; GSN. 6:30 pm CST. Season Premiere.

Masterchef; Fox. 7 pm CST. 2nd Season Premiere.

My Yard Goes Disney; HGTV. 7 pm CST. Series Premiere.

Switched At Birth; ABC Family. 8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Two teens find out they were switched at birth in this new drama.

HGTV'd; HGTV. 8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
The ballsy network has now verbed it's own name...

Behind Mansion Walls; ID. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.


Tuesday, 6/7

White Collar; USA. 8 pm CST. 3rd Season Premiere.

Covert Affairs; USA. 9 pm CST. 2nd Season Premiere.

Hook, Line & Dinner; Cooking Channel.  9:30 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Ben Sargent travels the country, looking for the best seafood.

Sports Show With Norm MacDonald (Comedy Central; 9:30 pm CST). Season Finale.

Wednesday, 6/8

Operation Repo; TruTV. 8 pm CST. Season Premiere.

South Park (Comedy Central; 9 pm CST).  Season Finale.

Locked Up Abroad; National Geographic. 9 pm CST. Season Premiere.

Through the Wormhole; Science Channel. 9 pm CST. 2nd Season Premiere.

Workaholics (Comedy Central; 9:30 pm CST). Season Finale.

Friday, 6/10

CMT's Next Superstar (CMT; 8 pm CST). Season Finale.

Saturday, 6/11

Oddities (Science Channel; 9 pm CST). Season Finale.

Sunday, 6/12

The Glee Project; Oxygen. 8 pm CST.  Series Premiere.
Twelve singers compete for a seven-episode stint on Glee next season.

The Protector; Lifetime. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Ally Walker stars as a homicide detective.

Why Not? With Shania Twain (OWN; 9 pm CST). Season Finale.

Pole Vault Across River

Not...

What Can Happen When Your Plane is Delayed

Cheerleader Death Metal Mosh Pit

Disneyland Star Wars Academy

This youngling is facing Darth Vader.




Awesome.

Premieres and Notables: May 30-June 5, 2011

Monday, 5/30

American Chopper (Discovery; 8 pm CST). Season Finale.

Gettysburg; History. 8 pm CST. Special.
Ridley and Tony Scott team-up to bring us the story the turning-point of the Civil War for the beginning of History's version of Shark Week.  Civil War programming abounds on the network this week.

Breakout Kings (A&E; 9 pm CST). Season Finale.
I know I said the finale was last week. I don't know what changed, but it's listed this week too.

Platinum Hit; Bravo. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
The search for the next American songwriter begins here.
I'm sure the home of The Real Housewives of... will make it a classy affair.

Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition; ABC. 9:01 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Camera crews followed people for a year on their weight loss journeys, and we get to see the ups and downs-- and the results.


Tuesday, 5/31

America's Got Talent; NBC. 8 pm CST. Season Premiere.

Traffic Light (Fox; 8:31 pm CST). Series Finale.
Too bad, too, as this show was finding its groove the back-half of the season...

Million Dollar Decorators; Bravo. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Because what the world needs now is a reality show that follows high-end interior decorators.

Love Handles: Couples in Crisis; Lifetime. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Overweight couples bicker for our amusement.
Really? We have to have a TV show about couples with issues-- but they've got to be fat...?


Wednesday, 6/4

Destroy Build Destroy; Cartoon Network. 7:30 pm CST. Season Premiere.

Franklin & Bash; TNT. 8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Breckin Meyer star as attorneys who take some liberties with the law to help their clients.

Man v. Food Nation; Travel Channel. 8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
This time, host Adam Richman lets locals do the crazy food pig-outs.

Love in the Wild; NBC. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Twenty singles are stranded in a Costa Rican jungle... and expected to find love while "surviving"?  I don't know...

The World According to Paris; Oxygen. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Viewers will see a different side to Paris Hilton (no duh!-- she's an exec producer; bet she gets some editing control) as she tries to figure out how to leave partying behind and grow up.

Men of a Certain Age; TNT. 9:01 pm CST.  Mid-season return.
If you haven't been watching, this show turned a nice corner in the first part of the second season.  Less whining and more living.


Thursday, 6/2

Love Bites; NBC. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
I'm not entirely clear on what this is, but I think it's an anthology-type show starring Becki Newton, Greg Grunberg, and Constance Zimmer among a constantly rotating guest-star list in this comedy about love.

The First 48: Missing Persons; A&E. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
A reality show that features the Chicago Police Dept.'s efforts to find missing persons.

NY Ink; TLC. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Miami Ink's Ami James moves to NYC to ply his craft.

Children's Hospital; [adult swim]/(Cartoon Network). 11 pm CST. Season Premiere.
Great show (that, admittedly, isn't for everyone). Check it out.


Friday, 6/3

Whale Wars; Animal Planet.  8 pm CST. 4th Season Premiere.


Sunday, 6/5

Finding Big Foot; Animal Planet. 8 pm CST. Mini-series Premiere.
This six-part series tries to uncover the reality of big foot.

Food Network Star; Food Network. 8 pm CST. Season Premiere.

The Glades; A&E. 9 pm CST. 2nd Season Premiere.

The Real L Word; Showtime. 9 pm CST. Season Premiere.
An almost entirely new cast lets us peek into their lives as "L Words".
Psst-- that's "lesbian".

Teen Wolf; MTV. 10 pm CST. Series Premiere.
It shares the name of the '80s movie, but the sensibilities of this season are closer to modern takes on the supernatural.  Sexier and scarier, with the "needed" mythology for these genre shows may be worth checking it out.
Moves to its normal timeslot of Mondays at 9 pm CST on June 6.