R.I.P. INFL

I was watching what I thought was the season finale of HBO's Inside the NFL when it was announced at the beginning of the epsidode that it was also the series finale of the long-running series.

Apparently, the decision to cancel the show came soon before the final taping on Wednesday, so that made things even worse because no one was really able to address it. HBO announced that the landscape of the NFL and media had changed too much in the past 30 years. Now everyone can get replays and highlights on a multitude of networks.

Too bad INFL's own network couldn't see the gem it had.

Talk about devastating. For thirty-one years, the show gave us an inside look into the NFL that no other show has come close to in class and integrity. I only watched the last three seasons, but I'll miss it as much any other show I had grown to love.


I've said before (numerous times) that I'm not into sports all that much, but HBO Sports has a way of drawing me in with the insight, humor, and drama their shows possess. Inside the NFL was even more impressive in that regards because it was, essentially, a weekly recap show. It gave high and lowlights of the previous week as well a brief look at the upcoming week's games. And once or twice an epsiode, we got a short look at some unique aspect of the game that could be either uplifting or heartbreaking, or both.

The hosts were a fun gang to watch every week. Dan Marino, Cris Collinsworth, Chris Carter, and Bob Costas were a perfect team. This season was especially wonderful. We got a real, honest, look at a great player who sees his greatest accomplishments get surpassed on an almost weekly basis when Brett Favre broke a number of Dan's records in 2007. While Marino never whined about it-- probably helped because he respects Favre-- you could see a little disappointment whenever the others ribbed him about being 2nd in the record books. Collisworth grew even more as an analyst, and I could see him getting his own show someday. Carter had a few moments, notably when he gave a very intelligent and emotional answer to a question Costas asked him about what can be done to help young players to keep out of trouble, and also, on the last episode when he had just learned he lost his only on-air job-- and was also deeply hurt he didn't get voted into the Hall of Fame in 2008 the previous weekend.

And then Costas, a guy who I'd listen to explain anything he had a passion for. Truly one of the greatest on-camera sports newsmen who have ever lived. And I love Costa's comment to Collinsworth in the finale that they didn't get fired; someone at HBO made a "boneheaded decision". I'm sure he hadn't forgotten that he also hosts the monthly Costas Now on HBO when he said it.

And we can't forget Peter King's weekly reports that really dug into the sport. Or Lewis Black's infrequent rants.

And, finally, the work of Ed Sabol and NFL films was exclusive to the show. These weren't just highlights, those were mini-movies of every game. If you took NFL Films and the outstanding voiceovers by Harry Kalas and applied them to grass growing, it'd be just as exciting as any movie. These people really elevate the craft of filming sports. That may be the biggest loss with INFL's cancellation.

But just because HBO cancelled the show doesn't mean it will disappear forever. The NFL is shopping it around (a few pissed off fans actually blame the NFL for pressuring HBO to cancel the show, so it could gain leverage for its NFL Network with cable companies). But because much of the show's production was through HBO, there are sure to be changes. I expect the newest version to be full of flashy graphics and loud hosts, something the HBO version definitely was not.

I said it earlier, and I'll repeat it: this show was classy. That's the major loss for fans of not only football, but of just, plain good television.

Dog Diary/ Cat Diary

I got this joke today. Funniest one I've read in a long time...


The Dog's Diary:
8:00 am: Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am: A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am: A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am: Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm: Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm: Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm: Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm: Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm: Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm: Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm: Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


The Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe ... for now.

Premieres and Notables; Feb. 4-10, 2008

We've heard this before, but I've got a good feeling this time: rumors abound that the Writers and Producers Guilds are close to an agreement.


Monday, 2/24

The New Adventures of Old Christine; CBS. 8:30 pm CST 3rd season premiere.
One of the most underrated comedies out there is finally back (what is CBS thinking by treating it so shabbily?). Recommended.

Welcome to the Captain; CBS. 7:30. series premiere.
Jeffrey Tambor, Fran Kranz, and Chris Klein star in this show revolving around the wackos in a Hollywood apartment complex. I haven't heard a good thing about it. Poor Tambor, who excelled on The Larry Sanders Show and Arrested Development, gets another dud.

And CBS repeats an October How I Met Your Mother (7:00) that introduces Barney's "Crazy Scale" for women. Good stuff.

Paradise Hotel 2; My Network TV. 8 pm. 2nd season premiere.


Tuesday, 2/5

Big Gay Sketch Show; Logo. 9:00 pm. Season premiere.


Wednesday, 2/6

UFO Hunters; History. 9 pm. Series premiere.
I'll give the benefit of the doubt to the History Channel because it typically finds some sort of history within its increasingly bizarre lineup, but it's starting to look a little ridiculous...


Thursday, 2/7

Lipstick Jungle; NBC. 9:01. Series Premiere.
Sex in the City creator Candice Bushnell's new series. Let's hope it's at least a smidge better than Cashmere Mafia (which I watched a whole 20 minutes of before deleteing from the DVR forever).

Survivor: Micronesia-- Fans vs. Favorites; CBS. 7 pm. Season premiere.
Ten obsessed fans of the show take on ten former players.

I checked out Eli Stone last week and have to give it a thumbs up. One of my favorite pilots-- and I hope it continues. Check it out on ABC at 9:02.

The Black Canary makes her first appearance on Smallville (CW, 7 pm). Saw a pic of her costume-- yuck. Props for giving her the fishnet stockings that BC is so well known for, but the "mask" is brutal, and where's the long blond hair?


Friday, 2/8

That Mitchell and Webb Look; BBC America. 8:20 pm. Series Premiere.
Robert Webb and David Mitchell star in this comedy sketch show. I really hope it's decent; I loved BBC Am two years ago, but lately their comedies have been pretty blah.


Saturday, 2/9

Petfinder; Animal Planet. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Animal behaviorists find the right pets for families.

Bernard and Doris; HBO. 7 pm. Movie
Susan Sarandon and Raplh Fiennes play Doris Duke and her butler Bernard Lafferty in this fictionalized account of their relationship, which resulted in her bequeathing her fortune to him.


Sunday, 2/10

The Grammy Awards; CBS. 7 pm. Special.
Beyonce, Carrie Underwood, and the Foo Fighters perform.

British Academy Film Awards; BBC America. 7 pm. Special.

Sometimes I like these heartwarming stories, but this one is incredible.

In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Mbembe was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe' s legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

The New Dance The Kids Are Doing

It's the summer of 1960 and Harold goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Harold's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a duck tail hairdo.


When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue's mother answers and invites him in. "Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?" she says. That's cool. Peggy Sue's mother asks Harold what they're planning to do.


Harold replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive in movie. Peggy Sue's mother responds, "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it."


Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Harold and he says Wha...aaat?"


"Yeah," says Peggy Sue's mother, "We know Peggy Sue really likes to screw; why, she'd screw all night if we let her!"


Harold's eyes light up and he smiles from ear to ear. Immediately, he has revised the plans for the evening. A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt with her saddle shoes, and announces that she's ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Harold escorts his date out the front door while Mom is saying, "Have a good evening, kids," with a small wink for Harold.


About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and screams at her mother:





"Dammit, Mom! The Twist! The Twist! It's called The Twist!"

Premieres and Notables, Jan. 28- Feb. 3, 2008

Today: I guess there's a new episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force at 10:45 ([adult swim]/Cartoon Network). There may have been a new one last week as well. All I've been watching of late on the network is Boondocks, so I'm sure I missed the ATHF bumps.

Monday, 1/28

State of the Union Address; ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, FNC, MSNBC, NBC, and PBS. 8 pm CST. Special.
What's so special about it? It's Darth's last one.

In Treatment; HBO. 8:30. Series Premiere.
HBO's ambitious new series may bite off more than it can chew. Five half-hour episodes a week over the next nine weeks. Gabriel Byrne plays a therapist who counsels a different patient each day from Mon-Thurs and then sees his own therapist on the Friday installment. Reviews I've read say the Friday shows (with Dianne Weist as Byrne's therapist) are the best, but I think I'll be intrigued by the Tuesday episodes as well (with Blair Underwood as the patient).

Cities of the Underworld; History. 8 pm. 2nd season premiere.

Ancient Discoveries; History. 9 pm. 3rd season premiere.

Michael Palin's New Europe; Travel. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Palin visits former Soviet states.

Harlem Globetrotters Special; MNT. 7 pm. Special.
Footage from a current game interspersed with a look back at their eight decade existence.


Wednesday, 1/30

America's Ballroom Challenge; PBS. 7 pm (check local times). 3rd season premiere.

ABC airs last year's Lost finale (7-9), and I read somewhere that there will be extra bits added to this repeat; the way I understood the article, it was like a "Pop Up Video" episode. Wish I could find the article to verify, but I couldn't.


Thursday, 1/31

Lost; ABC. 8 pm. 4th season premiere.
After an hour-long recap shot at 7 pm, the most-anticipated scripted show of the spring returns with just eight episodes. I'm sure that's enough to get people into a frenzy and then pull the rug out again.

Eli Stone; ABC. 9:02 pm. Series Premiere.
Johnny Lee Miller stars as a lawyer who starts to see visions (most notable of George Michael) and believes he may be a prophet.


Friday, 2/1

Dinner For Five; IFC. 9:30. Special.
Jon Favreau's show that ended in 2005 gets a special episode with Vince Vaughn, Peter Billingsly, Justin Long, and Keir O'Donnell, and I get that sick feeling in my stomach that reminds me that Charter Communications doesn't have the damn channel on its programming. Booooooo!!!


Sunday, 2/3

Well, the whole day revolves around the SuperBowl, which FOX airs this year (pregame at 1 pm, kickoff sometime around 5:18 pm). I'll have to take some interest as Tom Petty is the featured performer of the halftime show.

After the SuperBowl is a special new episode of House; it wasn't the episode the producers wanted to air, but it's the one they have due to the strike.

And if you're not into football, but are into TV marathons, there's quite a few. A partial list:
Mythbusters; Discovery. 8 am; 18 hours
The Closer; TNT. 11 am; 12 hours
Puppy Bowl IV; Animal Planet. 2 pm; 3 hours (but repeats through 2 am)
Wedding Cake-themed episodes of Food Network shows. 2 pm. 6 hours
Rich Bride, Poor Bride; WE. 3 pm. 5 hours
Suburban Secrets; TRU TV. 5 pm. 10 hours

Premieres and Notables, Jan. 21-27, 2008

Sorry this is later than usual. Luckily the Monday premieres will probably repeat a few times more this week.

Monday, 1/21

Wildfire; ABC Family. 8 pm CST. 4th season premiere.

The Naked Brothers Band; Nickelodeon. 7 pm. 2nd (?) season premiere.

Life After People; History Channel. 8 pm. Special.
A look at what Earth could be like after the death of the human race.


Tuesday, 1/22

The Real Hustle; Tru TV. 9 & 9:30 pm. Series Premiere.
Pro scammers show you how they steal from others in an attempt to show you how to protect yourself.

Millionaire Matchmaker; Bravo. 10 pm. Series Premiere.
A matchmaker hooks up rich people.


Wednesday, 1/23

Moment of Truth; FOX. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
I'm sure you've heard of this game show: contestants strap themselves into a lie detector and answer personal questions. I give it three weeks before American Idol expands to fill the slot.

Pros vs. Joes; Spike. 10 pm. 3rd season premiere.
Regular "joes" face pro athletes. I'll be checking out tonight's ep because it features Kurt Angle, one of the best athletes I've ever seen. He is an (exceptional) pro wrestler now, but remember, the guy won an Olympic Gold Medal with a "broken freakin' neck".


Thursday, 1/24

ESPN kicks off four days of its Winter X Games.


Friday, 1/25

Gone Country; CMT. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
More singers try to "go country", which will cause "real country" fans to go apeshit because this crew isn't really country. Who'm I talkin' about: Bobby Brown, Dee Snider, Diana DeGarmo, Sisqo, Julio Inglesias Jr., Maureen McCormick, and Carnie Wilson. Niiiice.


Saturday, 1/26

Torchwood; BBC America. 8 pm. 2nd season premiere.

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse; Disney. 8 & 8:30 am. season premiere.


Sunday, 1/27

SAG Awards; TBS and TNT. 7 pm. Special.
Writers can be hired for the show, and actors won't have to cross picket lines to attend, so this may actually look like a normal awards show.

Anger Management

Once in a while, I'll read a passage in a book or hear a line on TV that just makes me stop and think. I found this one in Tommy Lee's autobiography Tommyland.

He explains how he had to take anger management classes when he was released from jail. His class was at 6 pm-- right in the middle of rush hour. He believed the class was at that time because people would be jacked up and angry from the drive and had good odds of being late due to the traffic.

"I was late a few times and I always stayed, hoping to get credit for good behavior. I never did, and that made me really [f-bomb]ing angry. Thank God, I was learning how to deal with that."

It's not Shakespeare, but I thought it was pretty funny...

Premieres and Notables; Jan. 14- Jan. 20, 2007

Monday, 1/14

American Experience; PBS. 8 pm. Season premiere.
The first ep looks at "Oswald's Ghost"-- the fallout and conspiracy theories of the assassination of JFK.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles moves to its regular timeslot of 8 pm CST on FOX. I've been hearing good things: recommended.

Top Sniper; Military. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
I'm guessing the title says it all for this reality competition.

Prison Break (FOX, 7 pm) returns for a five-episode run. From what I've read, there are big things going down. Some prisoners get out (some in body bags), new prisoners arrive, Susan continues to find ways to get Lincoln to do her bidding, Sucre and Linc team up to cause trouble, T-Bag makes a move that gets him into the escape plan, and Linc and Whistler's lady start getting close. This show has its ups and downs, but I think we're getting into late-first season territory here-- the really good, exciting stuff.


Tuesday, 1/15

10 Items or Less; TBS. 10 pm. 2nd season premiere.
A show that had flashes of goodness (not greatness) last year-- but may be worth watching just because there's not much else on. Oh, and the premiere is supposed to have some good moments.

American Idol; FOX. 7 pm. 7th Season premiere.
The juggernaut that is Idol should decimate the TV landscape even more this season.


Wednesday, 1/16

Smash Lab; Discovery. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
I don't really get the concept here, but this is what TV Guide had to say: "Engineers take a fresh look at established products and technologies and think outside the box to find new uses for them. In the opener, the crew attempts to adapt aviation technology for use on the nation's roadways, thus preventing vehicles from veering into oncoming traffic."
They're going to do all that in an hour?

Reno 911!; Comedy Central. 9:30 pm. 5th season premiere.
Another up-and-down show, but with flashes of greatness.


Thursday, 1/17

American Chopper; TLC. 8 pm. 5th season premiere.


Friday, 1/18

George of the Jungle; Cartoon Network. 6:30 pm. Series Premiere.
I don't "get" these "kids networks" sometimes. The series premiere is tonight-- yet I recorded an episode for my kids last Friday.


Saturday, 1/19

About a Girl; The N. 7 pm. Season Premiere.

Husband For Hire; Oxygen. 7 pm. Movie
Included because I have a friend who digs My Name is Earl's Nadine Valazquez, and she stars in this made-for-TV movie. Now if Valazquez is enough to get you on the fence, but not over it, the movie also stars: Mario Lopez, Tempestt Bledsoe, Mark Consuelos, and-- wait for it-- Eric Estrada. Yeah, that's right. You're welcome...

Sunday, 1/20

Breaking Bad; AMC. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Bryan Cranston stars in this series about a chemistry teacher who is diagnosed with terminal cancer-- so he starts making crystal meth to provide for his family. The creator insists he came up with the idea before Weeds went into production, but it doesn't really matter. It sounds like a different type of show (weed is considered more harmless than meth, so expect a darker show here). I've read reviews which gave this show-- and Cranston-- good marks, and AMC may not churn out many scripted original shows, but what it has aired has been good. Recommended.

The Decision

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained
consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again
and everything, but..... Something happened. I'm trying to break
this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the
wreck, and we were unable to find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in
insurance compensation coming to you, and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch."

The man perks up at this.

"So," the doctor says, "it's for you to decide how many inches you
want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if
you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher,
she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and
you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be
disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."

The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next
day.

"So," says the doctor, "have you spoken with your wife?"

"I have," says the man.

"And has she helped you in making the decision?"

"She has," says the man.

"And what is it?" asks the doctor.

"We're getting a new kitchen."

Something New

So I've got these really big ideas for posts, right, but I don't often have the time to type, edit, and post them, so I thought, "If people are going to read this thing, then post something. So I thought "Why not these joke e-mails I get?

They're funny and they're easy to post. So here goes one for today (and I apologize for any I may repeat in the future).


Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns


Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me here.

The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.

When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady making mad passionate love to her. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him.

He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely,
Mrs. Sheila


Dear Sheila: A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.

I hope this helps.

Walter

Premieres and Notables; Jan 7-13, 2008

I don't remember if I had ABC's Cashmere Mafia premiere tonight on last week's post, but it premieres tonight at 9:01 CST.

Monday, 1/7

Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations; Travel. 9 pm CST. 4th season premiere.

Medium; NBC. 9 pm. 4th season premiere.

Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann; ABC. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Two judges from Dancing With the Stars find something to do until the March premiere of that show.

Tuesday, 1/8

How Much is Enough?; GSN. 8 pm. Series premiere.
Corbin Bernsen hosts this gameshow that has four people competing to not be the greediest...

One Tree Hill; CW. 7 pm. Season Premiere.
In a ballsy move, the show jumps forward four years in time, to the post-college years of the characters. Kinda cool-- it avoids the whole B.S. "everyone ended up going to the same college" storyline that other shows have fallen into.

Street Patrol; MNT. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
This COPS knock-off is brought to you by COPS creator John Langely.

Parking Wars; A&E. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
This reality show looks at the Philadelphia Parking Authority officers who enforce parking laws. [Are you f-bombing kidding me?]

Carpoolers (ABC, 8:30) returns from a brief hiatus, and the pilot episode of House airs tonight on FOX at 8:00 pm.

CBS tries to air the People's Choice Awards at 8 pm. Somehow it's "hosted" by Queen Latifah (without help by the striking writers) and will incorporate acceptance video clips by the winners since no one will cross the picket line.


Wednesday, 1/9

Ghost Hunters International; Sci Fi. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
A ghostbuster team investigates the paranormal. Geez... and I thought the network's endless airing of s-bomb-y made-for-TV movies was bad.

The Jewish Americans; PBS. 8 pm (check listings). Mini-series.
This three-part series explores Jewish-American history.

And Cashmere Mafia goes to its regular timeslot (9 pm, ABC).


Thursday, 1/10

Live From Lincoln Center; PBS. 7 pm (check local listings). 33rd season premiere.
Thirty-three seasons? Dang!

Soundstage; PBS. 9 pm (check listings). 6th season premiere.
The first two weeks feature a Tom Petty concert in Florida.

Make Me a Supermodel; Bravo. 9 pm. Bravo.
Well, Thank God Bravo finally stepped up to the plate and responded to the dearth of modeling reality shows. Now young women have a show to go on and compete for a modeling contract. Pretty ingenious idea...

And it just may be possible that one of the the Charisma Carpenter guest-starring episodes of Big Shots that ABC keeps pulling from the schedule just may air tonight at 9:02.


Friday, 1/11

Comedy Central Presents; Comedy central. 9 pm. 12th season premiere.
Stephen Lynch opens the season. [I thought Com Central had given up the stand-up shows... Nice to see they're still there once in a while.]

My Big Redneck Wedding; CMT. 8:30. Series Premiere.
I usually don't include CMT programs in these posts but I had to mention this one. As if redneck weddings weren't cool enough, the show is hosted by Tom Arnold. I just may watch this one.

Monk has some premiere of some sort (season premiere?) on USA at 8 pm. It's hard to tell with all the premieres and specials and all that where this show lies in the "premiere" department.

Real Time With Bill Maher; HBO. 10. 6th season premiere.
Oh good! I was feeling less informed than usual of late. I can't wait until this show comes back. Recommended (wow, it's been a long time since I wrote that in one of these posts).


Saturday, 1/12

Jamie at Home; Food Network. 8:30 am. Series Premiere.
Chef Jamie Oliver lives in a farmhouse, grows his own vegetables, and then cooks 'em up.

Rachael's Vacation; Food Network. 8 am. Series Premiere.
Rachael Ray milks one more second of her fifteen minutes of fame in yet another show.


Sunday, 1/13

Masterpiece; PBS. 8 pm. 38th season premiere
The formerly named Masterpiece Theatre splits its shows up into thirds this season. The first third is classic dramas. Tonight opens with Jane Austin's "Persuasion".

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles; FOX. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Tonight and tomorrow launches one of the most-anticipated (even more so now that the strike has killed many shows) new shows of the year. Sarah and John try to rebuild their lives while avoiding the Terminators sent to kill them.

I have a few friends who watch this, so I'll mention it: VH1 airs a second season of Rock of Love, where 20 new skanks and media whores are trotted out so Bret Michaels can eventually drop them all and have a season three. The fun begins at 8 pm.

And NBC will air the very quiet Golden Globes at 7 pm. Writers won't be writing for the show, and the Screen Actors Guild announced that their members will not cross the picket lines this week. At least this way, the show shouldn't run over 3 hours...

A cool clip

Check out this clip from marvelkids.com. It's really good for something designed for an internet site.

It's less than 2 minutes and features Spider-Man and Iron Man.

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1358321660/bctid1364171698

Premieres and Notables, Dec. 31, 2007- Jan. 6, 2008

I'm back! Sorry for the extended absence, but I needed a little computer break.

Good news: the Fantasy Football season is over (and I not-so-humbly boast I am the League Champ for both leagues I play in), so I should have some more time to post. Let's hope I actually type something as opposed to just writing them in my head (my current actual output to ideas is about 1:8).

Okay, on to the last day of the year, and the end of the easy weeks as networks now scramble to fill their slots with something other than scripted fare.


Monday, 12/31

Lots of New Years Eve specials starting around 10 pm CST-- and if you like college football, you should be able to find something to watch with the ludicrous number of ridiculously titled Bowl games being played the next two days.

Sci Fi runs its annual Twilight Zone marathon from 7 am today to 9 pm Tuesday night-- Eighty-Four episodes of classic Zone goodness!

HBO airs the last twenty episodes of Entourage, beginning at 6 pm (with a break at 11:05 for an ep of Cathouse).

TBS gears up for the Jan. 15th premiere of the second season of 10 Items or Less by airing the first five episodes of the series, beginning at 10 pm.


Tuesday, 1/1

Desperate Spaces; HGTV. 12 noon. Series Premiere.
Two designers visit three homes who each need a room makeover, plans are drawn up, and only one house gets the makeover. Niiiice. May be worth watching to see two couples' dreams shattered each episode. Cruelty know no bounds in reality TV.

The Biggest Loser; NBC. 7 pm. Season Premiere.
Is it too late to use the "No, this isn't an MTV/VH1 reality show featuring old reality TV 'stars'"? You know what this is; the rub this time is that contestants are partnered-up, Amazing Race style.

Ocean Force: Huntington Beach, OC; Tru TV (formerly Court TV). 7 & 7:30 pm. Series Premiere.
A real-life Baywatch.

The Music of Seal on Ice; NBC. 3 pm. Special.
Seal's Music + Figure Skating = Something to watch other than college football...


Wednesday, 1/2

Power of 10; CBS. 7 pm. Season premiere.

Whacked Out Videos; MNT. 7 & 7:30 pm. Series Premiere.
Yet another TV show that broadcasts video clips YouTube-style.

Futurama begins a run on Comedy Central at 7 pm (and, most assuredly, many, many reairings after that). Com Central has the rights to all 72 episodes as well as the direct-to-DVD-movies.

Pioneers of Television; PBS. 7 pm (check local listings). Mini-series.
This four-part series looks at early television.

Law & Order; NBC. 8 & 9 pm. 18th Season Premiere.


Thursday, 1/3

Celebrity Apprentice; NBC. 8 pm. 7th season premiere.
I got nothin' to say. Every time I think of this show, I get horrible stomach pains...


Friday, 1/4

Goodbye Zoey; Nickelodeon. 7 pm. Movie.
I betcha Nick is happy as Hell this series finale is all they have left to air of the show. I suppose they would have liked star Jamie Lynn Spears to have gotten knocked up just a few months later, though...

1 vs. 100; NBC. 7 pm. Season premiere.
See what gets to come back when there is a writer's strike?

Ugliest House on the Block; WE. 7 & 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Residents vote on which house in the area is the ugliest-- and then they-- wait for it...-- give it a makeover!

DogTown; National Geographic. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
A look at Utah's DogTown animal sanctuary.

Matched in Manhattan; Lifetime. 8:30. Series Premiere.
A real-life Hitch, except without the witty Will Smith as the matchmaker.


Saturday, 1/5

Alien Abductions: True Confessions; WE. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Women talk about their alien abductions. I need to throw up...


Sunday, 1/6

American Gladiators; NBC. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Beefed up athletes try to crush their "average" opponents in this remake of the '90s show. This time around, Hulk Hogan is brought in to add some class to the show.

The Wire; HBO. 8 pm. 5th season premiere.
What many, many critics call the best show on television begins its final season.

Russell Simmons' Def Comedy Jam; HBO. 9 pm. Season Premiere.
After a two-year hiatus, the show returns.

The L Word; Showtime. 8 pm. 5th season premiere.

Premieres and Notables: December 24-30, 2007

Monday, 12/24

TBS' annual A Christmas Story marathon runs for the next 24 hours starting at 7pm.

A great How I Met Your Mother episode from last year finds Ted calling Lily a bad, bad word in this Christmas episode. How they skirt the censors is great-- no bleeps here. (CBS, 7 pm).

More marathons: Sci Fi is airing a 20-episode block of Stargate Atlantis, starting at 7 am. TNT airs nine Christmas episodes of ER, beginning at 9 am. And TV Land airs 24 hours of Christmas episodes of various series beginning at 4 pm. And the most bizarre "marathon": Sprout is airing 11 straight hours of host Nina and puppet Star sleeping-- awaiting Santa Claus-- beginning at 6 pm.


Tuesday, 12/25

The Best of Youth; Sundance. 8 pm. Mini-series
A four-part series taken from the (apparently long) film that won the Jury Prize at Cannes.

Sci Fi airs a 21-episode block of Stargate SG-1 at 7 am.

The Discovery Channel airs all 15 hours of Planet Earth starting at 8 am. I've only seen (so far) three episodes, but they were amazing. This series has made many Best of 2007 lists, so check it out.

And there's lots and lots of Christmas-themed specials and movies airing all day on many channels.


Wednesday, 12/26

Lots of college football bowl games. If you care, you'll know where to find them.

Kennedy Center Honors; CBS. 8 pm. Special
Martin Scorsese, Diana Ross, Leon Fleischer, Brian Wilson, and Steve Martin are honored.


Thursday, 12/27

Biography (Bio, 8 pm) looks at U2 front man and activist Bono.


Sunday, 12/30

A very King of the Hill-ish episode of King of the Hill finds Cotton dying in this repeat (FOX, 7:30 pm). It proves that this decade-old series has a big heart-- yet still won't give into schmaltz. I miss that shin-less bastard...

And Dale's act at the end is great...

DARK KNIGHT Trailer

Here's a trailer for the upcoming Batman movie The Dark Knight. Lots of Heath Ledger as the Joker (and, Thank God, he was the Joker, not Jack Nicholson in face paint like the first movie).

Scary as Hell. And lots and lots of shit blowing up. I don't judge movies by their trailers (especially ones I'm really forward to), but this one looks good.

http://atasteforthetheatrical.com/deathtrap/default.htm

Premieres and Notables, December 17-23, 2007

Monday, 12/17

Clash of the Choirs; NBC. 7 pm CST. "Mini-Series"
Six choirs coached by "name" musicians (Patti LaBelle, Michael Bolton, Blake Shelton, Kelly Rowland, and Nick Lachey) compete the next four nights.

Duel; ABC. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
And another game show... Twenty-four contestants answer trivia questions-- and try to manipulate each other.

Monday Night Football; ESPN. 7:30 pm. Special (Minnesota Vikings vs. Chicago Bears).
I'm in the Championship Game in one of my Fantasy Football Leagues, and I need everyone to think "Adrian Peterson needs to blow up". I'll settle for nothing less than 3 TDs by the guy. And if the Vikings DEF has a great game, that will be icing on the cake for both leagues I'm in.


Wednesday, 12/19

What could be the season (or series) finale for Journeyman airs tonight on NBC at 9 pm.


Friday, 12/21

The Next Great American Band (FOX, 8 pm) picks a winner. Seriously, I had no idea this show was still airing...


Saturday, 12/22

Saturday Night Live; NBC. 8:30 pm. Special
The Best of the 2006-2007 season. Do you think they had enough good (funny) sketches to fill the entire 90 minutes (60, if you take out time for commercials)?


Sunday, 12/23

Masterpiece Theatre; PBS. 8 pm (check local listings). Special
An encore airing of of the Prime Suspect finale "The Final Act". I've never seen the show, but I've read from more than one critic that this was an exceptional "movie" that closed out the series. Since there is so little else to watch, this is definitely something that deserves to be on the radar.

Elmo's Christmas Countdown; ABC. 6 pm. Special.
The Sesame Street gang (and more celebs than I'm willing to type here) help Elmo and Abby Cadabby save Christmas.

HIMYM Slaptastic vids

I've written before about the best comedy on network TV (that'd be How I Met Your Mother for those who have forgotten) and have explained the Slap Bet. But in case you're forgotten, here are some video links:

Here's a video primer from the first episode: The Slap Bet

And here is Barney's reaction to the mind games Marshall has played on him: Slapsgiving

And I just ran across the "music video" to the song Marshall sang in celebration for slapping Barney at Slapsgiving: You Just Got Slapped

Legen--wait for it-- dary.

Premieres and Notables December 10-16, 2007

Monday, 12/10

Paranormal State; A&E. 9 and 9:30 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Penn State University's Paranormal Research Society members go looking for ghosts.
Yep, folks, "A & E" stands for "Arts & Entertainment"...


Tuesday, 12/11

Twister Sisters; WE. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
A pair of Minnesota women chase storms.

Life on Mars; BBC America. 7:00 and 8:00 pm. 2nd Season premiere.
Yet another show I have on tape but haven't gotten to yet. I hear it's good. This begins the final season of the show that finds a cop who was in a hit-and-run waking up in the year 1973. He doesn't know how he got there or what he's trying to accomplish.


Wednesday, 12/12

Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants; CW. 8 pm. Series premiere.
Mothers and daughters team up in this beauty contest. Who wants to take bets there will be a season 2?

Party Mamas; WE. 9 pm. Series premiere.
Mothers throw lavish parties for their children.
I'm not the praying type, but I'm gonna give it a shot: "Dear God, please let this unholy writers strike end soon, so we can keep the stench of shit reality shows off the airwaves. Amen."


Friday, 12/14

2007 World Magic Awards; MyNetworkTV. 7 pm. Special.
Roger Moore hosts this award show (that features appearances by Neil Patrick Harris and Penn & Teller).


Sunday, 12/16

24/24 Rule; Court TV. 9 pm. Series premiere.
A show that looks at the last 24 hours of a murder victim's life, and then the first 24 hours of the investigation.

Extras: The Extra Special Series Finale; HBO. 8 pm. Special.
Just as he did with The Office, Ricky Gervais closes out his latest series (which he created 2 six-episode seasons for) with a special episode. I'm pretty bummed. I wasn't REALLY into the first season (although it had great moments), but I got more into the show during the second season. And now it's gone...

Premieres and Notables; Dec 3-9, 2007

Has it been a week already? Yeesh! The tapes and have been building up, so I can't say I'm upset that repeat season is in full swing.

But the strike talks didn't pan out, so maybe I'll be itching for new episodes in a month or so. Okay, probably not. I have a lot of tapes (and DVDs) to watch. The world could end, and all I'd need is a generator and a TV, and I'd be set with "new" episodes for a few years.

Oh yeah-- this week's new stuff:

Monday, 12/3

The Closer (TNT; 7-9 pm CST) and Saving Grace (TNT; 9 pm CST) return with new episodes.

And repeat season is a great time to try something you missed earlier. The funniest new show of the year, Aliens in America, repeats its pilot tonight (CW; 7:30). The scene between the two bullies and Justin when they're talking about his sister is priceless.

And my favorite comedy, How I Met Your Mother, repeats a great episode from last season where Marshall's beloved Fiero dies on him just short of hitting 200,000 miles (CBS; 7:00).

Life (NBC; 9 pm) begins a 2-parter that will be concluded this week in the show's normal timeslot (Wed @ 9).


Tuesday, 12/4

Bad Girls Club; Oxygen. 9 pm. 2nd season premiere.

Janice Dickenson Modeling Agency; Oxygen. 9:30. 3rd season premiere.

Everest: After the Climb; Discovery. 10 pm. (4-part) mini-series.
Phil Keoghan talks to hikers about their adventures.


Wednesday, 12/5

Julia Roberts Tribute; AMC. 7 pm. Special.
The America Cinematheque presents the award to Roberts. Last year's tribute to George Clooney was a hoot (yeah, I said "hoot", so what?), so it's probably a safe bet this one will be funny as well.

Million Dollar Christmas; TLC. 6 pm. Series premiere.
A series that looks at lottery jackpot winners and their first Christmases with the cha-ching.


Thursday, 12/6

Sand and Sorrow; HBO. 7 pm. Special.
A documentary that looks at the plight of the residents of Darfur.

Barbara Walters Presents: The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2007; ABC. 9:02. Special.
Walters gives us her yearly look who she feels are fascinating. Let's take a look: Bill Clinton (hmmm... maybe it's a repeat from ten years ago), David and Victoria Beckham (fascinating because they are, or fascinating because everyone in the media wants us to believe they are?), Justin Timberlake (maybe), Katherine Heigl (ABC does air the special), Jennifer Hudson (okay, props for Babs for going all the way back to the beginning of the year), Hugo Chavez (okay, here we go; I'm fascinated to know what kind of bottles he's got in this medicine cabinet), and MySpace founders Tom Anderson and Chris DeWolfe (wasn't YouTube the big web site this year?-- maybe I'm behind). And, of course, the mystery "most fascinating person" (I wonder if she'll consider Rosie O' Donnell for ratings; a 10 round match between the two would be fun).



Friday, 12/7

Christmas Out of the Box; National Geographic. 9 pm. Special.
The secrets of the season. Like: how Santa got the image he has, how stores entice shoppers, and the story behind the Star of Bethlehem.

And I'm not sure if I missed their returns the past few weeks, but I see Monk (USA, 8 pm) and Psych (USA, 9 pm) have new episodes tonight.

Movies Rock! A Celebration of Music and Film; CBS. 8 pm. Special.
Film's most memorable songs are celebrated in this concert performed by popular artists such as Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, Fergie, Elton John, Jennifer Hudson, Jennifer Lopez, Nelly, Carrie Underwood, and LeAnn Rimes. I normally wouldn't list them all, but doesn't it seem a little odd that all these really memorable songs will be performed by people who probably weren't alive when many of them were written? I mean, you got Elton, who just turned 60, and I was surprised to see J-Lo and Mary J. Blige are older than my 35 years, and then everyone else is younger than me. I guess I don't really have a point...


Sunday, 12/9

Dino Autopsy; National Geographic. 8 pm. Special.
Sounds Alien Autopsy fake, but I'm guessing Nat Geo's look at an especially well-preserved dinosaur fossil will be the real deal.

Robot Chicken's Half-Assed Christmas Special; Cartoon Network/[adult swim]. 10:30-10:45 pm. Special.
The Chicken crew eviscerate the Holiday Season's movies and specials.