Saturday, July 04, 2009

Friday, July 03, 2009

Bill Drops the Bomb

It's not what you say, it's how you say it

It's the thought that counts

Hey-- at least he picked it out himself.




Oh-- I should mention this dude knocked up his teenage girlfriend and are living together in virtual poverty.

Oh-- and he also blew $500 for a Playstation 3 on himself not too long ago.

Condensed SOUP; 7/2/09

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

WOW!!! WoW!!!

Real or fake, ya gotta give it up for this dude's dedication to World of Warcraft.

UoA: How to Manscape

Monday, June 29, 2009

UoA: "TV Commercial"

I read about this and had to check it out. Weeds' Uncle Andy has created his own university.





Check it out at universityofandy.com. Or, keep watching this blog because I'm enrolled and taking courses now and will share the lectures with you.

Premieres and Notables: June 29- July 5, 2009

Sorry I'm late. What can I say? It was nice to be away from a computer for 9 days (minus quick Google-mapping).

Besides, it's 4th of July Week-- nothing really notable is happening.

But here's what we've got this week:

Monday, 6/29

Dance Your Ass Off; Oxygen. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Twelve large people join a dance competition to... dance their asses off.
Yeah, sorry I didn't get to this one in time for you to watch.
(Shhhh-- it's on Oxygen, so it probably repeats a dozen times before next Monday's new ep...)


Tuesday, 6/30

NOVA scienceNOW; PBS. 8 pm CST (check local listings). Season Premiere.
A look at every singer's friend: the Auto-Tune program.

Tiny and Taya; BET. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
"Other halfs" of rappers T.I. and Lil' Wayne get their own reality show.
Wow. Not sorry I don't get BET...


Wednesday, 7/1

Monsters Inside Me; Animal Planet. 8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Real cases of parasites invading human bodies.


Thursday, 7/2

From 5 am to 10 pm, USA is airing a Burn Notice marathon. I've been diligently recording the series but haven't watched yet. I hear it's good fun. Worth checking out.

Sunday, 7/5

Ruby; Style. 7 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.
Ruby's already dropped 100 pounds, but she still feels like continuing.

THE WIRE: McNulty Tells Bunk Why He Respects Him

Classic. Drunk-ass McNulty gets advice from drunk-ass Bunk-- and then completely bursts his bubble. Only two friends like them could get away with saying this stuff.


Sunday, June 28, 2009

2008-2009 TV Top Ten #10 (actually #1)

10. (The best is, indeed, last. Sorry about the length.)

The Wire: Simply put, the best television show I’ve ever seen-- and if you’ve been paying attention, you know I watch A LOT of TV, so I am pretty equipped to make that statement mean something. You also know I don’t resort to hyperbole much, so you know I mean it when I say: This is the best television show I’ve ever seen.

Created by former journalist David Simon and former homicide detective and schoolteacher Ed Burns, The Wire explores urban city America in the creators’ hometown of Baltimore. More specifically, the streets of East Baltimore. Using characters who are drug dealers, police, dock workers, addicts, school teachers, politicians, lawyers, newspapermen, and just regular people, the show explores the greater questions about our society and how we are failing it.

Simon explained that each season was meticulously planned out as a “novel”, with each episode being a single chapter of that novel. It may sound pretentious to describe it that way, but it’s very accurate. Each season told a story. There were no cliffhangers. The first couple of episodes set the scene for the season, the middle episodes furthered the plots, and the last two or three episodes contained the climax, with the last episode usually having the aftermath of the season’s events. Each season finale contained a montage with snippets showing what most of the primary and secondary characters were up to; a true ending to that story.

The first season introduces us to the series and focuses on the drug war. It’s not a new statement to say the War on Drugs is a complete failure, but by showing the struggles between police and drug dealers on the East Baltimore streets, we got a very human picture of the toll this farce has taken. Cops are hamstrung by the legalities of convoluted lawsuits that have changed the nature of the work, and the increasingly business-minded “drug lords” are able to stay one step ahead of them because of it. The Major Crimes Unit is formed to deal with the increasing threat of the drug trade, but the unit is composed of the dregs of the police force; the people the department wants to “lose”. They have become pariahs amongst their own people simply because they have always put the job—or honor-- first. The unit is expected to fail, even though they have some of the best police in the city on it.

The second season moves to the docks of Baltimore Harbor, which are quickly becoming less relevant to the city and the country as a whole. East European women brought to America via a cargo container to become paid escorts die on their trip, and the Major Crimes Unit gets put on that case as it’s expected to be a dog. Meanwhile, the drug trade heats up on the streets.

The third season deals with reform through a number of storylines. First, an honest and noble police major on his way to retirement and constantly berated by his superiors in front of his peers for not lowering his crime numbers takes a different approach to the drug problem: what if he secretly stopped cracking down on drug crime and corralled the drug trade into an “open market” of empty lots? It’s a brilliant idea, and the series takes a very close look at the ramifications of that idea. The next major storyline follows a young city councilman who wants to better the city and decides to become a crusader for major change. But he learns he has to play the game to be successful; it’s a catch-22: he can’t create change without working the system that makes change nearly impossible. The third main reform storyline follows a drug lord’s attempts to funnel his drug money into a more legitimate enterprise, real estate, in the hopes of getting even more money.

The fourth season takes a critical look at the school system through the stories of four at-risk boys from the streets. The school system is broken. Teachers and administrators, facing an ever-worsening budget, have been forced to no longer teach the kids general information, but teach the kids to be successful for the test that determines how much government funding they’ll get. One rookie teacher is learning the hard way that he can’t actually teach—and he also can’t seem to make a difference to his kids. On the other side of the fence, the kids from the streets are expected to work the drug trade to make good money and take care of their families—or just because they have no other alternatives in life. They have no incentive to learn at school because they all expect to be dead within a few years. Meanwhile, the police force can’t figure out why the homicide victim rate has gone down. They know the murders are still happening because the drugs are still out on the streets; they just can’t find the bodies.

Finally, the fifth season asks the question: if we know things are bad, why can’t we make the changes needed to better society? The focus is on the media, which is supposed to shine a light on the problems in society, by specifically following the struggles of the Baltimore Sun newspaper, which has been greatly weakened due to corporate greed, lazy writing, and reduced readership. Also, the police force is experiencing the effects of massive budget cuts—which hurt the efforts to reign in the drug traffic. And the city is experiencing a shortfall of money due to pumping so much of it into the schools; now the police department can’t react to the rash of murders that popped up. But not everyone is willing to settle for “there’s nothing that can be done”; they take actions to make their own and others’ lives better. A newspaper editor still demands the truth in an increasingly hostile corporate structure and is one of the last remaining voices of integrity in his newsroom. A drug renegade seeks revenge for a death and takes on an entire gang, one person at a time. A former addict tries his hand at recovery—and self-forgiveness. A detective forces an increased police budget by committing a terribly unethical act. A mayor fights the system to make the city better. And the whole series comes racing to a very satisfying (and yes: the best I’ve ever seen) series finale.

This is a very challenging series. It demands that viewers pay attention. It took two-and-a-half seasons for me to start putting all the pieces of the puzzle together; to “get” the storytelling method. This show takes a very real-world approach to how it tells its stories. Characters are not reintroduced every episode, events are not recounted step-by-step. You have to work out the relationships yourself. But telling the story like that also gives a massive payoff. You can see how one bad choice by a police officer can affect his career—and then you can trace how that single choice damages others’ lives. There are reverberations that go through the dozens upon dozens (and that’s literal) of characters.

The show also deals with heroes and villains in different ways. One of the best cops on the show makes terrible moral decisions—and constantly sabotages his career. And the worst drug dealers are often shown to be human; they are just doing the only thing they know. There were a number of dealers I really liked and was devastated when they were killed. And speaking of killing: you’d expect a police show like this to have lots of gunfights as that’s what we’re used to seeing in TV and movies. But because this show deals with those things in a real-world fashion, we see that gun fights are short—usually not even a fight at all. The drug dealers who get on the wrong side of a rival gang are usually sneaked up on, and get a “pop-pop” to the back of the head. These men/boys know that to start a street-wide gunfight is a losing proposition (and often involves immediate police action), so it’s quick and dirty—and done.

Every aspect of this show is nearly flawless. The writing is outstanding. I was flabbergasted to learn that there were more than one or two writers; that there was a whole team of very accomplished authors working on the scripts. Every episode feels like one part of a larger story, and there is a “flow” from episode to episode that teams of writers usually can’t accomplish.

The directing is extremely skillful. With the vast number of characters on the show, every scene is perfectly timed to fit exactly how it needs to in relation to the story. There are very few “wasted” scenes because each second is so precious that they couldn’t afford to have any weak moments. And even the more humorous scenes (some of which I’ve posted in this blog) fulfill a purpose, whether it is to ease tension or give us a glimpse into the larger aspects of the characters.

Finally, the acting. Magnificent. There were amazing things happening there. The show is about the city-- the characters are just ways to humanize the story—so every actor had the more-difficult-than-usual task of getting us to care about their characters. Even with all that, and with the fact that there were, easily, one hundred “important” characters (imdb.com lists 324 cast members) in these 60 episodes, I cared. I cared very deeply about many of them. Weeks after I watched the last episode, I still have tears well up in my eyes when I think about some of them. The writing and directing played a key part, but the actors playing those characters made these characters very much human. I doubt I’ll forget about any of them; they felt that real to me.

And a final thought on the acting: while there are a number of great, accomplished (or well on their way to becoming accomplished) actors in these roles, I found it very interesting that a large number of the minor characters were played by non-traditional actors. Most surprising to me was that the Deacon (a church-going man who is working at a grassroots level to better the community) was played by Melvin Williams, who was one of the largest drug lords of Baltimore of decades ago. He was arrested (by co-creator/producer Ed Burns when he was a cop, and the journalist who covered the arrest was creator/writer/producer David Simon), convicted, got rehabilitated as he did his time, and became a part of this show when he helped the producers learn about how the drug trade really works. And they cast him as a very inspirational role model for the community on the show because that’s the role he has tried to take in his life since his jail stint.

Another non-traditional acting choice was made in Felicia “Snoop” Pearson. I just finished her autobiography Grace After Midnight, and I learned that this woman, who died twice when she was born (she was a crack-baby) and grew up as a girl who liked doing boy things better (which involved working the Baltimore street corner drug trade), ended up in jail, got rehabilitated, tried getting legitimate jobs (that were ultimately taken from her when they learned of her felonious past) and then ended up back on the streets, was saved because of this show. She had tried so hard to be the best worker at the intensive-labor jobs she got out of jail, but was still thrown out when she admitted her past and ultimately had to go back to the corners because she had nowhere else to work. She was at a club when Michael K. Williams, who played the vigilante Omar on the show, spotted her and told her to go down to the set the next morning and get some camera tests taken. Snoop did as he instructed, earned $150 for the camera tests (which she noted wasn’t as much as she made in the same time while her dealers were working the streets) and was asked to come back. She did, and ended up with a fairly substantial role as a drug enforcer named Snoop (she was pleasantly surprised they used her actual street name in the series) in the last seasons of the show. It took a while, but she eventually gave up the drug trade (which she still worked while filming the show) and has acted in a number of films since. It’s an amazing story and shows the credibility the show was trying to achieve by taking real people from the real streets to fill out their cast.

And the show thrived very much on its credibility. Baltimore politicians and leaders may have claimed the show was making the streets look worse than they are, but the people who live on those streets often point to the show as saying it’s as real as it gets. David Simon said on a DVD extra that he was gratified when he heard that the HBO subscribers in Baltimore were a much higher percentage than in other cities in similar economic circumstances. He knew if people who had trouble paying their bills subscribed to HBO just to watch his TV show, then he must be telling the story correctly; that his show was giving those people a voice. Watching The Wire Sunday nights at viewing parties when the new episodes aired became a popular event for many B-More natives.

I could probably write ten times more than I have in this already long post about The Wire, and it would deserve every word. And, of course, I cannot even begin to do justice to the series by any of the words I write. This is a rare series that has helped me redefine my definition of what television is capable of. It is simply amazing. Do what you can to see this. Rent the DVDs at a video store (or maybe NetFlix), borrow them from the library or a friend, catch them on HBO OnDemand (and hopefully someday on repeats on the network), watch the sales (Best Buy has HBO-centric sales 2-3 times a year) and buy them yourself. Do what it takes to attain the episodes and give yourself completely over to that world that is just outside your window, yet one you probably never saw before.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

2008-2009 TV Top Ten #9

[Note: I am saving the best for last. #9 below was the last one I wrote up when I did these.]

9. Hmm. The last one is a bit tricky. There are a number of shows deserving of the “honor”. The Big Bang Theory is probably the best of the rest on my list. Prison Break had flashes of the brilliance I saw in season one again this year. Big Love had some great acting, even as I grew bored with the storyline. Chocolate News had some great bits; it reminded me very much of The Chappelle Show at times. Everybody Hates Chris went out on a high note; the show never got the credit it deserved throughout its run. Gary Unmarried seemed to get better every episode (much like The Big Bang Theory did last year). Mythbusters is so entertaining; you forget you’re also learning quite a bit. 30 Days and This American Life both gave very “ground level” looks at life. Real Sports continues to be able to make me laugh and cry in the same 60 minutes. Real Time is still able to put many of my beliefs into words. Worst Week had a fantastic actor in Kyle Bornheimer; I hope he shows up elsewhere. Phineas & Ferb didn’t have many new episodes, but the ones they had were very inspired; they really built on the groundwork of their first episodes.

But I’m going to go with the most recent show I really got into: Z Rock. I think it’s hilarious and is very close to the feel that early episodes of Entourage had.

If you haven’t read my other posts mentioning the show, I’ll give you a recap of the premise. Wait-- maybe I’ll just let the lyrics of the opening song the band plays every episode explain:
“We’re a Brooklyn band.
It's rock 'n roll we live.
But to pay our rent,
We have to play for kids.”

That, in a nutshell, is what the show is about. These three guys (two of which are brothers) try to play as the hard rock band Z2O but can’t land a gig that pays well enough. So they start playing at kids’ parties (birthdays, etc) as The Z Brothers. The boys aren’t that bright, so they always end up screwing something up. And their manager, Dina, is no genius, either.

The show is cartoonish at times, but that’s part of the charm. Paulie, lead singer and guitar player is an eternal optimist—even though he has no reason to be considering the state of his band and his life. His brother David, the bass player, is the resident stud, who went from nailing groupies to nailing moms. Joey, the drummer, has a girlfriend who is chomping at the bit to get married and whenever the band gets a break, she’s got out the wedding magazines, driving Joey crazy with ideas. Dina is a new manager and has one client: Z2O/Z Brothers. She’ll do anything for the band— whether it’s begging for money from her aunt or even having sex with the loathsome John Popper.

And, somehow, the show lands some pretty funny guest-stars who play versions of themselves. First is Joan Rivers, who is Dina’s aunt and lends her and the band money—and always expects a repayment. John Popper was in a few episodes being a music mogul who is just out for a few bucks—and will screw anyone to make them. Dee Snyder is Paulie’s Yoda; he shows up when Paulie needs advice. And the best guest star was Dave Navarro, who acted like a total dick (making an indecent proposal to Joey’s fiance and berating a little girl who didn’t act well enough to his liking in a music video).

It’s great fun. Check out the 2nd season, airing now on IFC.

Friday, June 26, 2009

2008-2009 TV Top Ten #8

8. Battlestar Galactica— This would have been the best television I watched this year had I not seen The Wire. This was a reimaging of the old show from the 1970s, but it really only kept the names and some visual designs of the original series. This show was made to stand on its own, and it did. It also explored topics rarely found on a television show. Topics like religion, terrorism, morals—and, maybe the most rare of all: what makes humans human.

The show is in the science fiction genre, but it was one of the most grounded and human shows I’ve ever seen. Take away the ships and the Cylons, and you’ve got a show with none of the sci fi elements we’re used to. At its heart, it’s a “journey” show. Machines humans created rebelled and disappeared. Then they returned and nearly wiped out the human race. There are roughly 50,000 humans left, and they are on the run. Running from their Cylon creations—and running toward their destiny, a planet called Earth. Along the way, they come across the Cylons again and again; sometimes they fight, sometimes they try to work together. During all that, we see some of the human characters get more vicious and some of the Cylons get more compassionate.

The acting and directing was superb; the writing was well done as well.

But I’ll admit while I was impressed by the technical aspects and underlying philosophy of the show, I never did fall in love with it. I was very much involved with it—and I usually went as soon as I could right to the next set of DVDs (I watched the first season in July, and then Seasons 2, 2.5, 3, and 4.0 from November and January before I settled in and watched Season 4.5 as it aired), but I never became a rabid fan. I’m not sure why-- other than I didn't watch the majority of the episodes "with" other people (as it aired) because this is excellent television.

As a side note—and because it’s the only season I watched as it aired; during the timeframe I’m supposedly critiquing—I was a bit disappointed in Season 4.5. I felt the revelation of the Fifth Cylon was a letdown, and I was also disappointed by what I felt was left on the table by the time the finale ended. There was a mythology to the show that it seemed to relish (at least the Sci Fi Channel did in its advertising) that didn’t have much answered by the end. Had the season tied off some of the ends and gone into a little more real backstory the last few episodes, I would have enjoyed the finale more. But taking a step back, after my disappointment was shelved; I can say the series finale was fantastic. It was unexpected and also very emotionally satisfying. Without saying much more that could ruin it, I can honestly say the show ended perfectly for the story it was telling.

Even though I had a few negative things to say, this series is excellent and exceptional in almost every way. I was probably a little too close to it (even though I hadn't been watching the entire run, I was reading the dozens of articles and reviews about it), and that's why I was never 100% satisfied.

But 98% satisfied is light-years ahead of most shows...

Thursday, June 25, 2009

2008-2009 TV Top Ten #7

7. Summer Heights High—a mockumentary set at an Australian high school that follows the lives of three people. The first is Mr. G, the egocentric, flamboyant drama teacher that takes every opportunity he can to further his career by making the musical he wrote and is directing the centerpiece of the curriculum. The second is J’amie, a spoiled junior who is at the school on what she calls an “exchange program”; she’s basically “slumming” at a public school instead of the private schools she has otherwise attended her whole life. The third is Jonas, a Polynesian 8th grader with both apathy for and hostility against school and only one desire: to break-dance in the common area.

Just on the surface, this is a funny show. Mr. G. is completely clueless about the world around him because it means nothing to him unless it relates directly to him. He had the gall to write the year’s musical based on the recent drug-related death of a student, and it didn’t occur to him that the student’s family may be upset about that. He also has no concept that the school cannot afford the massive budget he requires to pull off the performance.

J’amie is at the school to run it herself. She immediately identified the popular girls and became their leader. She’s all about being the center of attention, and she’s not above putting others down to do it.

Jonas is a very hostile young man who resorts to profanity (he frequently says, “Fuck you, Miss/Sir” as a way to show his displeasure) or juvenile behavior (his teacher’s request to “put his balls” on the floor prompted him to sit on the floor instead of just putting away the balls he was juggling). Jonas knows his behavior is wrong and will usually do as directed once a punishment rears its head, but he fights civility as much as possible up to that point.

If you don’t remember what I wrote about the show before, there’s also something very different about it: the three main characters are played by the same actor, series creator Chris Lilley. This isn’t a Saturday Night Live-type deal; he fully gets into the characters, and it is not done at all in a jokey manner. The humor does not come from the fact that a man was playing a teenage girl; the humor was from the writing and the plots. It was amazing to see him act in completely different ways, depending on the character he was portraying—and he was spot-on for all three. They each must have presented different challenges, but a grown man convincingly playing a high school girl is remarkable. He presented a girl’s mannerisms and way of speaking in a very uncanny manner.

This ranks up there with some of the best television I've ever seen. Check it out.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

2008-2009 TV Top Ten #5 & 6

5. & 6. Chelsea Lately and The Soup-- I watched Talk Soup with Aisha Tyler but I stopped at some point for some reason. And because E! has become a network for jackass reality shows and insipid entertainment reporting, I‘ve stayed away from it to the point where I don’t pay any attention to anything that may not be moronic. But I stumbled onto The Soup last June and fell in love with it, and I lucked upon Chelsea Lately not long after.

Reality TV has gone from decent early seasons of The Real World, The Osbournes, Survivor and Amazing Race to pure shit like The Cougar and Keeping up With the Kardassians. Shows used to start out well and then go downhill, but now nearly all start out as crap and stay there.

With all that being said, I am the absolute right person to watch The Soup and Chelsea Lately. Even though they’re on an otherwise useless network, they somehow are able to make fun of the crap on the rest of the network—or what the rest of the network reports on.

On The Soup, we get funny clips made all the more funny by host Joel McHale. McHale (and his writing staff) come up with brilliant lines—some getting very pointed—to describe the stupidity we are about to see (or just saw). Sometimes the show moves into the surreal, but McHale holds it all together very well. He’s also pretty fearless; if the joke involves him dressing up in a ridiculous costume or calling out a celebrity for stupid behavior, he’ll do it. The show itself has become a bit of a continuing story; clips or lines said in one episode may rear their heads again later to continue another clip or joke. Regular viewers will see a sort of progression in a few jokes.

Chelsea Lately is a bit less structured around reality shows and more toward the people we’re being told are “hot” now, whether they’re actors, musicians, or any other idiot the entertainment news is focusing on. Being a late night show, it can get a little raw—and that’s perfect for the absolute stupidity the show comments on every night. Chelsea Handler has an honesty about her that is refreshing in the “entertainment news” business. If she thinks someone or something is stupid, she says it. No ass-kissing there. And it helps that she is very funny.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

2008-2009 TV Top Ten #4

3. How I Met Your Mother— I’ve talked this show up as long as I’ve done this blog, so it really shouldn’t be a surprise this show continues to be a Top Ten show for me. There is no network show I can think of that surprises me as much as this one does on a weekly basis. The cast continues to grow in talent every year, and situations allow them to mix it up a little (such as when they “wrote out” Alyson Hannigan for a few episodes while she had her baby) and not affect the dynamic of the show. And the show still introduces a Seinfeld-ian number of made-up words/definitions, all while telling very poignant tales.

There is also even more of a feeling of “destiny” for the show this year. The premise was and still is: a man in 2030 is telling his children how he met their mother. So the story is often told within the context of what happens next. You may think he could be able to get to the end of the story within the time it took to tell 4 seasons worth of stories, but the show has also always been about the choices one makes, and how they can affect your life. “Future Ted” (who we never see) is telling his children about the events that led to the meeting of their mother; how this relationship or that breakup or the other job got him to the place that had him intersect with his wife’s life. This fourth season was especially working to prove that point because Future Ted made a few mentions about how doing A and then B and avoiding C got him to the end point D.

I don’t believe in destiny or fate or any of that, but I know very well how a single choice can put you on a path you didn’t expect. I could, literally, tell my own kids about how I met their mother, and just the night I did meet her involved about three choices I normally wouldn’t have made that put me in the same place she was that night.

What I find especially interesting or different about the show from others is that Future Ted also includes the wisdom one has from being able to see the big picture that one can’t see while in the moment. Shows that tell the stories in the present don’t have that omniscience to them because we don’t have the comfort of knowing what happened next until it happens to the characters. But in this show, say when Ted has his heart broken, he can say (after years have passed) that it was okay and that things just didn’t work out; in fact, they worked out even better. The creators say Future Ted is an unreliable narrator, but the fact is that the hindsight, even if it’s not exactly 20/20, brings a special element to the show. There’s a maturity that everyone gains over time that really puts a fun spin on things.

So the show continues to grow and get better. And a syndication deal with Lifetime pretty much assured a fifth season (they required 110 episodes, and there have been only 88 so far), so the series could play out this season, secure it would be back in the fall. Of course, next season may be touch-and-go like the first few have been, but I think the show could end very well next year—and they are even closer to the mother, if the year’s season finale is any indication. And because they’ve already filmed the scene with the mother and the kids together, no matter what happens, they should be able to wrap the show up well by giving us the revelation they’ve promised: that we really will know how he met their mother.