Premieres, Finales, etc: May 19-25, 2008

Monday, 5/19

American Gladiators; NBC. 7 pm CST. 2nd season premiere.

The Bachelorette; ABC. 8:02 CST. season premiere.

Season Finales:
The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 7 pm)
Bones (FOX, 7 pm)
Gossip Girl (CW, 7 pm)
How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 7:30)-- Season finale, thank God
House (FOX, 8 pm)
One Tree Hill (CW, 8 pm)
Two and a Half Men (CBS, 8 pm)
Rules of Engagement (CBS, 8:30)
CSI: Miami (CBS, 9 pm)


Tuesday, 5/20

Not Going Out; BBC America. 7:40 pm. Series Premiere
Lee Mack stars as a guy who gets caught in a love triangle when he moves in with a woman who happens to be his best friend's ex.

Season Finales:
NCIS (CBS, 7 pm)
Dancing With the Stars (ABC, 8 pm)
Reaper (CW, 8 pm)
Shark (CBS, 9 pm)


Wednesday, 5/21

MI-5; BBC America. 8 pm. Season premiere.
I haven't watched it yet, but I hear it's a great show.

Mind of Mencia; Comedy Central. 9:30 pm. 4th season premiere.

Reno 911; Comedy Central. 9 pm. Return.

Season Finales:
American Idol (FOX, 7 pm)-- two of the longest hours in television. BTW: last year ran a few minutes long, so if you're recording it, make sure to record the few minutes after 9 pm.
Criminal Minds (CBS, 8 pm)
CSI: NY (CBS, 9 pm)
Law & Order (NBC, 9 pm)


Thursday, 5/22

So You Think You Can Dance; FOX. 7 pm. 4th season premiere.

Last Comic Standing; NBC. 8:30. 6th season premiere.
Let's hope they learned their lessons from the last few boring-ass seasons, and actually show some of their comedy routines this year.

Season Finales:
Ugly Betty (ABC, 7 pm)
Grey's Anatomy (ABC, 8 pm)-- now two hours long (Lost's finale is next week)


Friday, 5/23

USA could possibly destroy the world today. They're airing a Walker, Texas Ranger marathon from 5 am to 11 am. Can humanity stand that much ass-kickery at one time?
On a related note: did you hear that Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands?
Now they're just called The Islands.

Dr G Medical Examiner; Discovery Health. 8 pm. Season premiere.


Saturday, 5/24

Austin City Limits; PBS. 8 pm (check local listings). 34th Season premiere.
An 2008 concert by R.E.M. starts out the season.

Mary Louise Parker alert! For you poor slobs who don't get Showtime (or the Weeds DVDs) get a little MLP fix on CBS at 7 pm for a movie called Vinegar Hill. It didn't get a great review in Entertainment Weekly, but so what? -- It's Mary Louise Parker!

There's a Law & Order: Criminal Intent marathon on USA, from 8 am to 11 pm. It's a viewer's choice marathon, so expect some fanboy goodness.


Sunday, 5/25

Recount; HBO. 8 pm. Movie
Hey kids! Let's look at the 2000 Presidential Election again!
I'm torn here.
On the one hand, it's HBO; and it's stars Laura Dern, Kevin Spacey, and a slew of top talent.
On the other hand: I really don't want to go back to that time when Emperor Rove, along with the loyal Darth Cheney, and the easily-controlled Darth Bush stole the presidency and gave us at least eight years of tyranny that set the United States back a few decades, if not centuries.

[On a completely unrelated note: Is it just me, or does anyone else out there hear the "Imperial March"-- Darth Vader's theme music-- played with banjos whenever that retarded president we have is on TV?]

[No disrepect to those mentally-challenged people who used to be known as "retards" in our less culturally-sensitive Dark Ages of not long ago. Let's just get over that whole bigotry thing right now. I think we should limit the word "retard" to complete f-bombing idiots who have no excuse for being idiots.
You know, like Dubya...]