Condensed SOUP, 3/5/09

Sammy Gets LOUD

Old school, kick-ass rock and roll by Sammy Hagar, Michael Anthony, Billy Duffy and Matt Sorum. It's not horribly original, but there's nothing wrong with borrowing a sound from the good old days. And it contains one of my favorite lines in any song: "I remember ol' What's-'er-Name."

Courtesy of Sammy's latest album Cosmic Universal Fashion.

SMCCC: A Scotsman Who Still Can't Watch a Movie...

SOUP Beauty

Some more Soup for you...




And, okay, I'm gonna go there:
Did anyone else think "money shot" during Joel's photo shoot, or am I the only one that demented?

SOUP Clip; 2/27/09

If you didn't catch The Soup this past weekend, here's a little taste of Chat Stew...

SMCCC: Two Ducks Watch "Meet the Parents"

The ONION Reports on New Sony Product

The level of vulgarity in this is both stunning and amusing...


Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work

What they do in Cincy when there are no accidents to report.

Classic...

Premieres and Notables; March 2-8, 2009

Monday, 3/2

The Bachelor (ABC; 7 pm CST). Season Finale.

Rules of Engagement; CBS. 8:30. Season Premiere.

Ax Men; History. 9 pm. Season Premiere.

Harlem Heights; BET. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Eight people in their twenties and their lives in New York City in this reality show.

Jimmy Fallon begins his gig on Conan's old show. Late Night With Jimmy Fallon airs on NBC at 11:35 pm CST.


Tuesday, 3/3

Reaper; CW. 7 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.
Sam's life falls apart in the premiere of this underrated show. Recommended

Nip/Tuck (FX; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Wednesday, 3/4

America's Next Top Model; The CW. 7 pm. Season Premiere.

Make Me a Supermodel; Bravo. 9 pm. Season Premiere.


Thursday, 3/5

Burn Notice (USA; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Saturday, 3/7

Ashes to Ashes; BBC America. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
This sequel-of-sorts to the original U.K. version of Life on Mars where a British female detective from 2008 finds herself in 1981.


Sunday, 3/8

The L Word (Showtime; 8 pm). Series Finale.

Breaking Bad; AMC. 9 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.

FD: Catching Up With Xander Pt 2

"Is it called Check me out I suck?"

Best line ever.

FD: Catching Up With Xander Pt 1

More Frisky Dingo. Xander has disappeared for a year after Killface's attempt to destroy the planet actually stopped global warming. Now a documentary crew has found him.

This is all a set-up for Pt 2.

Mandatory Viewing

Just caught the latest episode of HBO's Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel, and I was very excited to see a follow-up to the Kyle Lograsso story from almost two years ago.

Kyle is a boy all of six who has a golf swing identical to Tiger Woods'. He developed it from watching Woods on TV-- before he was two years old. That makes his story amazing enough, but there's more that's happened to this young boy that shows he is remarkable even beyond that.

This is amazing televison. Fifteen of the most incredible minutes you'll ever experience. This is why I love TV-- and is also why I chose Real Sports as one of my top 10 TV shows of 2006. (And it would have also been in the top in 2007 had I done a list that year.)

The show is always cream of the crop-- and I say this as someone who doesn't follow sports hardly at all. This is just plain, great television. I watched the original story four times before I finally deleted it from the DVR, and the follow-up story this episode brought tears to my eyes the exact same way it did back then.

You owe it to yourself to check it out. It airs over a dozen times in the next ten days, or you should also be able to check it out on HBO OnDemand.

I tried finding a video clip on YouTube, Hulu, and HBO.com and found clips of the show in general pretty rare. But I did run across a low-quality video from the first airing that you can watch below.

Kyle Lograsso @ Yahoo! Video

And now that you cheated and watched this story on your computer instead of on TV, watch the follow-up story at home-- or do it at someone else's home who has HBO.

Cool Commercial

I don't watch commercials anymore. I watch all my TV on DVD, DVR, or on videotape. Each allows me to fast-forward through the commericals which is great for a couple of reasons: most commericials are lame as Hell, and I also save 25% of my time skipping through them.

But once in a while I miss a good one. This is one I happened to catch by accident. You've probably seen it, but watch it again. It's great.

Condensed SOUP; 2/26/09

SMCCC: Adopted

SMCCC: Bob Marley is No Attorney

Get HIGH

You know when you're excited about a show coming out on DVD?

When you keep humming the theme song all day long at work.

Check out Summer Heights High, out on DVD tomorrow. Get it for $25 at deepdiscount.com or for $20 at bestbuy.com (or presumably at the stores for the same price).

This Australian import by way of HBO is brilliantly acted and written-- and it's painful to watch in a (U.K.) The Office kind of way.

This 8-episode series justified my subscribing to HBO this year. For real.

Here's a trailer for the show:


Writer/star Chris Lilley plays three characters in this mockumentary.
The transformation he made for each is astounding.


First up is vain, delusional Mr. G:



Now meet troubled Jonah:



And the most amazing transformation. This is Ja'ime:

SMCCC: Mario Rescues the Princess

SMCCC: A Scotsman Who Can't Watch a Movie...

FAMILY GUY: Peter Meets Christian Bale

Okay, Bale's been vilified over this more than enough already.
-- But this is so damn funny...

Something to make the OSCARS more interesting

Check out Mickey O'Connor's Drinking Game .

And the funniest thing is: at least 75% of those things will happen.

Premieres and Notables; Feb. 23-Mar 1, 2009

Monday, 2/23

True Beauty (ABC; 9 pm CST). Season Finale.

The Closer (TNT; 8 pm). Season Finale.


Tuesday, 2/24

Dark Days in Monkey City; Animal Planet. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
I couldn't put the premise into words, so I'll let Entertainment Weekly's Jessica Shaw do it:
"This animation-enhanced docudrama chronicles the final days of an aging ruler of a tribe of Sri Lankan toque macaques, and the pregnant underling hoping to save her baby amid the power shift. Monkey is all very Shakespearean... and the story is rife with betrayal, adultery, and jealousy."
[If you didn't know, a toque macaque is a type of primate...]

Leverage (TNT; 9 pm). Season Finale.

10 Items or Less (TBS; 10 pm). Season Finale.


Wednesday, 2/25

America's Next Top Model; The CW. 7 pm. 12th Season Premiere.

Top Chef: New York (Bravo; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Thursday, 2/26

The Chris Isaak Hour; BIO. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Isaak gets his own chatfest. First up: Trisha Yearwood.


Saturday, 2/28

America; Lifetime. 8 pm. Movie.
Rosie O'Donnell stars in this movie about a boy who makes his way through the foster care system. I'll guarantee two things about this Lifetime movie: 1. it'll try to make you cry and 2. it'll somehow be a man's fault.


Sunday, 3/1

Running in Heels; Style. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
A "reality soap" [kinda like The Hills?] about three fashion interns who work at Marie Claire.

Jesse Stone: Thin Ice; CBS. 8 pm. Movie.
Tom Selleck stars in his fifth movie based on the Robert B. Parker novels.

The Celebrity Apprentice; NBC. 8 pm. Season Premiere.
Ugh...

The Weather is SOUP

The AMAZING SOUP

SOUPy Hannah McHale

Condensed SOUP; 2/20/09

I Guess They're Sticking With The Name

For a year or so, Sammy Hagar has been talking about the supergroup he's in with Michael Anthony, Joe Satriani, and Chad Smith. He always used the codename they had for themselves until they came up with something better. But based on this intro video, I'm going to guess they didn't come up with another name.

Check out the vid. Weird-- but ultimately funny. And stay for the end to hear a little music...

http://www.chickenfoot.us/

Sorry for the link instead of an embedded video. The embed code doesn't seem to be working (at least Blogger's not accepting it as being valid).

SMCCC: Dog on $25K Pyramid

Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy

Periodically, I watch a few of the SMCoCC (look at the title 'cause I'm not typing it again) shorts, and think "I should post these."

Well, there are now enough that I can post one every few days for the next couple of weeks.

Some are hits, some are misses, but few are longer than 2 minutes, so they're worth watching...

Enjoy.

A Little Late: Condensed SOUP for Feb 5

Premieres and Notables; Feb. 16-22, 2009

Monday, 2/16

Spectacular! Nickelodeon. 7 pm. Movie.
Nick gets into the High School Musical business about three years too late in this made-for-TV movie.
Nikko Alexander is a rocker who's gotten dumped by his girl and his band. Now someone gives him an offer to further his career via a high school show choir.
Will he take it? And, more importantly, will he get the girl by the end credits?
I'm guessing yes.

Andy Richter and Jenny McCarthy guest star on Chuck (NBC; 7 pm), and I'll predict that will be a good thing.

Worst Week (CBS; 8:30). Season finale.
Okay, this looks to the week, assuming the president doesn't address the nation in prime time again.


Tuesday, 2/17

I guess it's about time for people/fans to give a rats ass about American Idol (FOX; 7 pm): they can finally vote.

Real Housewives of Orange County (Bravo; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Real Housewives of New York City; Bravo. 10 pm. Season Premiere.
Geez, Bravo won't even give you a chance to cleanse your palate...


Wednesday, 2/18

Old Christine gets a new friend on The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS; 7 pm). The friend is played by Kristen Johnson, who I've found to be a bit (sometimes a lot) over-the-top in a lot of her work. But considering how Julia Louis-Dreyfuss plays Christine almost over-the-top (yet somehow manages to not go completely over), I'm curious to see what happens here.

Little Miss Perfect; WE tv. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
A reality show featuring contestants in a kiddie pageant.
I think my head is going to explode.
Will you people-- whoever you are-- stop watching this crap? The reason why networks keep airing garbage like this is because you sheep keep watching it.

High School Reunion; TV Land. 9 pm. Season Premiere.
Chandler, AZ's class of '88 have a reunion in Hawaii-- and the cameras are coming along too.
Seriously, people, you need to stop watching this stuff.


Thursday, 2/19

Being Erica; SOAPnet. 9 pm. Series Debut.
A woman in her 30's travels back in time to try to re-do her regrets.
[This is getting scary: the number of TV shows and comic books that have somehow gotten into my brain and picked plot ideas of the fantastical comic book series I've been writing in my head the past 15 years.]
[Oh, and before you think writing a comic series in my head is weird, I can guarantee almost every single comic book fan does/has done the same thing.]


Friday, 2/20

Monk (USA; 8 pm). Season Finale.

Psych (USA; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Real Time With Bill Maher; HBO. 9 pm. Season Premiere.
Now this is worth watching just to see what he'll do now that the man he dubbed (and I also have been known to use the name for him myself) "President ShitForBrains" is no longer in office.

The Soup Awards; E!. 9:30 pm. Special.
I don't know what it'll be about other than "unrecognized members of the entertainment industry" will get their props.
Oh-- I also know it'll be funny. Guaranteed.

Conan O'Brien signs off from Late Night With Conan O'Brien (NBC; 11:35 pm) after fifteen years. Not bad for a guy most didn't think would last a year in the gig.
He'll be taking over The Tonight Show on June 1.


Saturday, 2/21

Independent Spirit Awards; IFC. 4 pm CST. Special

Taking Chance; HBO. 7 pm. Movie.
Kevin Bacon stars as a Marine officer who transports the body of a young soldier killed in Iraq to his Wyoming hometown.


Sunday, 2/22

The Barbara Walters Special; ABC. 6 pm. Special.
Ms. Walters' guests for this 28th pre-Oscar show special: Mickey Rourke (acting nominee), Hugh Jackman (host), Anne Hathaway (acting nominee), and the Jonas Brothers (WTF).
Are you fucking kidding me, Babs? There was no person even remotely Oscar-related you could have found instead? Kate Winslet's dress designer? Jack Nicholson's driver? The guy who cleans up after Tom Cruise's dog?
(For the record: I have no idea if Tom has a dog.)

The 81st Academy Awards; ABC. 7 pm. Special.
Who cares? I stopped watching five or so years ago. Once coverage became almost strictly about the fashions and nonsense like that, I found myself watching less and less and fast-forwarding through the show more and more. And then the whole build-up... Do we need six hours (roughly) of "pre-game" analysis-- on multiple cable networks? And all the marketing campaign bullshit that goes into an award that is supposed to be just about the artistic value of a film or performance...
And every year, there are crimes. People/films win awards that should not have been nominated, and people/films that should have been nominated don't get nominated.

That being said, I'd like to thank the Academy for fucking up again this year and not nominating The Dark Knight for Best Picture or Christopher Nolan for Best Director. Really, Academy? Really?
How can they even take themselves seriously with an omission like that?

No, I'm not going to waste the DVR space this year and take my (very long) chances that I won't miss anything. And if I do, there's always an ever-increasing array of websites that will show video clips of the good stuff.

Condensed SOUP; 2/11/09

Blog Changes

As you've no doubt noticed, I've tweaked the format of this blog a little.

First, the most obvious change: I'm trying out a new layout. I liked the simplicity, yet not emptiness of the other layout, but I didn't like how narrow the blog post area was. Now, hopefully, the videos I post will show the entire screen. And I like that what I type is spaced out a little. I hope to write more "essays" in the future, so I think the extra room I have makes things look a little cleaner.

But I do notice there's a lot of white space for this layout, so I may change to another before I'm satisfied.

The second big change: I decided to establish this blog in the blogger.com arena as having mature content. So now you have to click on a link saying you understand this has mature content and that you want to continue to my page. Sorry for the trouble, but I've been having a tough time deciding if what I write or videos I post may be going "too far". I have no idea how many people read this (beside three for sure), and I have no idea who is reading it.

I'm not planning on including foul language in every post, but I want the option if I like what I'm writing or linking to. I'm 36, and I figure anyone over the age of 18 can appreciate the fact that some things that have the f-bomb are funny/interesting.

And, hey, I love The Wire and Deadwood, two of the most vulgar shows of recent years, but I also love Phineas and Ferb, one of the kid-friendliest shows on the air. Giving the "mature" tag allows me the freedom to write what I want, so I hope you're okay with it.

Any ideas, comments, complaints? Let me know if you think this tweaked blog sucks, or if you think it's going in the right direction.

Where'd You Get That Hat?

Here's another The Wire clip; this time from Season 3.

I just saw this episode and fell in love with this scene that has nothing to do with anything, and is funny as Hell.






What I find genius about it is that everyone in the scene played it straight. No smiles, no sarcasm-- nothing. You have no idea the cop was messing with the kid other than the subject matter was ridiculous.

THE WIRE Crime Scene

I've been watching HBO's brilliant The Wire season by season over the past half year, and I ran across this clip of one of the most ingenius scenes I've seen thus far in the show. I was halfway through it when I watched the episode before I realized the two were using variations of only one word the entire time. I hope it doesn't seem gratuitous out of context; try to see the geniusness of the actors as they get through the scene.

The plot: McNulty and Bunk decide to take a second look at a murder scene that had not been closed.

And, uh, if you've wondered why I now have a "mature content" screen you need to agree to before getting to my blog, this clip should be a good indication...

Drugs Will Do That to You...

Normally I wouldn't perpetuate what has got to be a hoax (or a plea for help from the mind-alerting power of drugs), but David Letterman's increasing attempts to pop Joaquin Phoenix's bullshit bubble is pretty good.

Make sure you watch until the end, when Dave stops even trying to be civil...

Why I Dig SUNNY

Some clips from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.



Warning: grown-up language/situations in here.

(Also a lot of childish ones as well.)


Frank and Charlie find poop in their bed.



My favorite beginning to any scene. Mac rules.



Mac pulls teeth to fake Charlie's death...



Mac and Charlie interview for a job.

Premieres and Notables; Feb 9-15, 2009

Monday, 2/9

Top Gear; BBC America. 7 pm. Season Premiere.

Worst Week (CBS; 8:30 pm). Season Finale.
Or so Entertainment Weekly says...


Tuesday, 2/10

Wingman; Fine Living. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Comic Michael Somerville shows some people the ropes when it comes to love.

On Leverage (TNT; 9 pm CST-- not a bad show, BTW), some former Star Trek series actors (Brent Spiner-- Data, Armin Shimerman-- Quark, and Kitty Swink-- Luaran) play guest roles in an episode directed by Jonathan Frakes-- Riker.


Wednesday, 2/11

Important Things With Dimitri Martin; Comedy Central. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
I guess Martin is a comedian, and his show has a different theme each episode. The debut is about "timing".


Thursday, 2/12

Survivor: Tocantins; CBS. 7 pm. Season Premiere.
Host Jeff Propst said this season is in the Top Five of the history of the show.
Then again, that's like a musician saying his latest album is the best work he's ever done.
(I mean, seriously, how often does that happen?)

The Millionaire Matchmaker; Bravo. 9 pm. Season Premiere.
And again Bravo brings out the best in entertainment...

Xavier: Renegade Angel; [adult swim]. 11:15. Season Premiere.


Friday, 2/13

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles; FOX. 7 pm CST; midseason return, new night.

Dollhouse; FOX. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
A secret organization custom-makes operatives for each assignment by implanting personalities into them. One of the operatives begins to remember her past lives. It stars Eliza Dushku in a role tailor-made to show off her acting skills. And if that wasn't enough, it's created by Joss Whedon. The show can end up being a grand slam, or a dud, but it's worth recommending just from the talent involved.


Saturday, 2/14

Battle of the Bods; FOX Reality Channel. 9 pm. Season Premiere.

Christopher Titus: Love is Evol; Comedy Central. 9 pm. Special.
I loved Titus' self-titled show, and I've dug his previous stand-up specials, so I'm looking forward to this one.


Sunday, 2/15

Amazing Race 14; CBS. 7 pm. 14th Season Premiere.

Eastbound and Down; HBO. 9:30 pm. Series Premiere.
Danny McBride stars as a washed-up ballplayer who goes back to his hometown to be a phys ed teacher. I've heard good things about this show. It's worth checking out.

Condensed SOUP; 1/29/09

Pupcakes

This is just freaky...

Premieres and Notables; February 2-8, 2009

Monday, 2/2

House (FOX; 7 pm CST) celebrates its 100th episode.

RuPaul's Drag Race; Logo. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Hey-- RuPaul's back! And this time, he(?)'s bringing some friends to help judge crossdressers.


Tuesday, 2/3

TV Guide has been printing the wrong episode synopses lately (or have been given the wrong ones by the networks), but tonight's Scrubs (ABC; 8 & 8:30) is supposed to feature Dr. Cox and Kelso befriending each other-- and Ted the lawyer goes on a date with a real, live girl.
If you watch the show, you have to be intrigued. If you don't watch the show, well then, you must live a sad life...

The IT Crowd; IFC. 10 pm. Season Premiere.
NBC was trying to make an American version of this show. I hear it's good, but of the 200-some channels I get, IFC isn't one of them.


Wednesday, 2/4

The Exterminators; A&E. 9:30 pm. Series Premiere.
Well, the title tells you what they do, and the network tells you it's a reality show.


Friday, 2/6

Jockeys; Animal Planet. 8 & 8:30 pm. Series Premiere.
A new docuseries that looks at the people who race horses.


Saturday, 2/7

Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story; TNT. 7 pm. Movie.
Cuba Gooding, Jr. stars as the pediatric neurosurgeon who successfully separated conjoined twins connected at the head in 1987. On the road to that achievement, he had to go from "the dumbest kid in the class" to what he ultimately became. What put him on that road? His illiterate mother who forced him to go to the library.


Sunday, 2/8

Mark & Olly: Living With the Machigena; Travel. 9 pm. Season Premiere.

Last Half of 2008 Movie Reviews; A & B+'s

And the very short list of the best I saw in the back half of 2008. All are highly recommended.


The Dark Knight—film. Damn near perfect in almost every area. You’ve heard what people have said; you may even have read reviews or seen them on TV. Believe them all. This is an amazing film from plot, to direction, to acting. I could go on and on, but I’ll let you see for yourselves. You owe it to yourself to see this movie. It doesn’t matter in the least that this is a comic book movie. This is a great movie, period. A

Definitely, Maybe-- I’ve probably mentioned more than once that I’m a Ryan Reynolds fan. Sure, he’s been in some bad films (who hasn’t), but he usually manages to be a bright spot in even the worst of them. He’s a guy who just needs that good part in a good film. This could be that film. He’s humorous, noble, very likable, caring; everything this role called for. The premise: a man tells his daughter stories about three women he dated, one of which is her mother. Sappy at times, but the plotting holds it together with a few curveballs—and Reynolds also is charming enough to handle it all. B+

Meet Bill—Another odd movie; it’s hard to get a grip on it. But Aaron Eckhart was his usual fantastic self. Props, too, to Logan Lerman as The Kid. He played a typical wise-ass, angsty teen—but with a purpose: to get Bill out of his funk. And it worked very well for this movie. Other names: Jessica Alba (who didn’t have much to do, but Thank God she finally found herself attached to a decent movie), Elizabeth Banks (who’s quickly becoming the latest “it girl”), and Timothy Olyphant (who needs to be in more pictures). This film won’t be for everyone, but I liked it quite a bit. B+

Sunshine—A little known film that had rave reviews from the handful of places I read about it. The basic premise is the sun is going out, and the first team of humans sent into space to try to reignite it disappeared before accomplishing their mission. A second team (the focus of this story) is sent out to succeed where the first team failed—and maybe to find out what happened the first time. The acting and directing was great. The special effects were very realistic. The movie felt very familiar in hitting the basic plot points of a movie like this, but the execution was very above average. This would be an “A” movie, easily, if I could have understood what was going on in the last half-hour or so-- like where did the final “conflict” come from? I don’t have to have things tied up in a bow, but it would have helped in this case because there was a big hole left. Things in life may not be thoroughly explained, but a little plot closure in a movie or book is recommended. B+

Last Half of 2008 Movie Reviews; B's & B-'s

Battlestar Galactica: Razor—Kind of a cheat since it’s a made-for-TV movie that fits better into a TV review. But it’s a movie nonetheless, and this is my blog, so there you go… Oddly enough, this movie didn’t have a lot to do with the main plot of the series—but in the end, it did lay down some plot elements for Season 4.0 and I expect to be further explored in 4.5 (airing now). The main character is also one we hadn’t seen thus far, and that made it tough to really root for her (especially since she is not like the other characters we’ve grown to love). But we did get to see old-school Cylons, which was cool, and also got one more little piece of the puzzle that says Kara/Starbuck is more than she seems. B

Be Kind Rewind—I think there was something more I was supposed to get from this movie, but I was still plenty entertained by the performances of Jack Black and Mos Def. And I’m a sucker for those down-and-out-communities-coming-together stories, so it had that going for it as well. The only thing: this movie kinda felt like it was riding the fence between comedy and drama. It was a comedy filmed like a drama. Sometimes it works, but it just felt odd to me. But I still give it a B for effort. B

Bolt—film. Basically, another standard kids movie—but this one is done very well. A dog who acts in superhero action movies thinks he’s got his character’s superpowers. This illusion is all an attempt to keep him on track; to make him do the movie stunts he needs to without fear. He gets separated from his “person” (a fellow actor who considers him her own dog—even though she is allowed out in the real world), and he tries tracking her down. He finds a pessimistic stray cat who is trying to convince him that his life is a lie—including the love the girl has for him. And on their journey, they run across a guinea pig who is a huge Bolt fan. Speaking of the guinea pig, Rhino, the voice work of Mark Walton (whose chief job is as an animator) was spot-on. Only Jack Black’s Po (Kung Fu Panda) is in the same “perfect” category as the perfect voice for the character. The movie is good enough on its own, but Rhino raises its grade. B

The Counterfeiters—During World War II, the Nazi’s rounded up some of the best Jewish counterfeiters to make documents, passports, and eventually monetary currency to help the war effort. Not as cold and heartless as most Holocaust films (which are that way for obvious reasons). This one raised a very tough question: were these men heroes for trying to keep themselves and others alive, or were they traitors who helped the very people who were trying to exterminate them? The answer doesn’t come from the movie; one must answer the question himself. B

Hellboy 2—film. Kinda tough to compare this “comic book” movie to Dark Knight, but this one holds up well as well. You’ve got the visual overload style of Guerrmo Del Toro back in the director’s chair for this sequel, and as expected, the places and creatures are weird and wonderful. Ron Perelman was perfect again as Hellboy, as were most of the actors in the film. Sadly, Selma Blair was given more screen time and things to do, but her character was written and acted to be whiny most of the time, so she usually brought things to a screeching halt. And while I like nice, continuity-driven pieces, it seemed like there were too many off-camera things going on. I hope they wrap up some of the loose ends in the next flick, whenever that may be. B

Married Life­-- A very odd movie. I don’t know if it was originally a play or what, but it felt like one of those theatre pieces that someone made a movie out of. That’s not bad—especially because it gave the actors room to give very good performances. But it also didn’t have the “action” of a movie. There was a detachment to the film that I normally don’t have. It also ended in a very untypical fashion, so that gives it a few brownie points for originality. B

Rolling Stones- Shine a Light—I have a small interest in the Rolling Stones. I mean, they are one of the forefathers of rock, so you have to give them props. And I like their music for the most part. Also, Martin Scorsese is undeniably one of our best and most creative talents. But this was pretty much a concert video. A very well-shot concert video, but a concert video nonetheless. There’s nothing wrong with that, but so many critics hailed it as “genius”. Maybe I missed something because I was watching it at home instead of in a theatre. I don’t know. It wasn’t bad; it just wasn’t great. B

Slapstick, Too-- A look at the early days of filmmaking, and the talents in the slapstick world such as the Three Stooges, Charlie Chaplin, Laurel & Hardy, and Buster Keaton. Since I’m a big L&H fan, this was nice to see what their contemporaries were up to, and how the genre evolved. It was a nice break; nothing really informative, but plenty of classic bits. B

Bedtime Stories—film. Adam Sandler’s characters are some of the most childish in movies, so it makes sense that he finally unleashed his skills in a children’s movie. That alone makes this a bit of a departure from his norm, but it also showcases his talents a little more, in a film that utilizes his standard schtick. The film is about a man-boy who has a chance to realize his potential with the help of his niece and nephew. The means to do this come from the bedtime stories he tells, which have a tendency to come true in spirit, if not in actuality. It’s not great, but it is pretty fun. B-

Charlie Bartlett—This one should have been right up my alley. Quirky characters, nice message—and Robert Downey Jr. But it seemed to be a little dark just to be dark. Maybe I was a freak in high school, but my teen years weren’t that bad. I’m getting tired of all these angsty teen movies. The ones where “no one gets me” or “my home life sucks”. It’s just a bit too much. And it’s a shame I feel that way because this was a good movie otherwise. B-

I Am Legend—We all know Will Smith can bring it, so let’s get over the whole “surprise” at how good an actor he is. This was a decent film. Didn’t bring much new to the table, and there just didn’t seem to be enough storytelling going on. But there were two very heartbreaking moments, and they made the movie worth seeing. B-

Semi-Pro—A Will Farrell movie is a lot like an Adam Sandler movie: the same basic thing happens to the same basic character, but how the movie is put together can make it a good or a bad one. Luckily, this was a pretty good one. Funny, a bit vulgar, and Farrell’s character is completely ludicrous. But some chuckles can be had. B-

Son of Rambow—Another movie hailed by critics that I didn’t feel as close to. An awkward, sheltered boy runs across the school bully, who enlists him as a stuntman in the Rambo movie he is trying to make (plot: Rambo’s son has to break him out of jail). The creativeness of the movie-within-a-movie was humorous, and the exuberance the sheltered boy has once he’s allowed to be creative is fun to see as well. And many critics praised the plot that showed that the movie sort of got a life of its own, but I felt those moments were weaker. It’s hard for me to grade this one. It was very nicely put together, and the young actors were superb, but it just didn’t “do it” for me. B- (But give it a try for yourself—please).

Speed Racer—ah, one of the most lambasted movies of the year. And the critics have their points. But this movie was not made to win any awards. Pure and simple. And on that regards, I think it worked. Shut your brain off and look at the pretty (and hyper-colorful) pictures. I wasn’t a fan of the anime series, so maybe I was just the right person for this film. It wasn’t great by any means, but it’s worth watching. B-

What Happens in Vegas—Standard romantic comedy, but done in a different way. Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz haven’t done much to impress me lately, but this film was actually enjoyable and funny, and those two have to be credited for taking something as by-the-book as the “chick flick” connect-the-dots movie this was and make it worth watching. It wasn’t great, but handled differently, it could have been pretty bad. B-

Last Half of 2008 Movie Reviews; C's

Hancock—film. A movie I had decent hopes for. I liked the concept (a superpowered man who didn’t want to be a superhero), and the trailers looked promising with the visual effects as well as the “realness” of the powers (cracking the street when landing too fast, getting mad at people in a car chase and putting their car in an impossible-to-drive-away place, being too drunk to fly and smashing into road signs). But the movie didn’t live up to the concept or the trailer. No, the movie makers had to throw a mysterious past in there, which gummed things up as they attempted to make the mystery something Hancock could use to be a better hero (instead of him just being one due to his current experiences). Props to Jason Bateman for his work, with a nearly perfect role for him and a half-prop to Will Smith for going outside his comfort zone and being a dick for the first part of the film. C+

Con-Air— Even though I missed it until now, I was told this movie was very Prison Break –like, so I had to check it out. It’s one of those “shut your mind off and watch” movies. Nothing more to it than that (other than it had some good actors: Nick Cage, John Malkovich, and John Cusack). And it wasn’t like Prison Break because I didn’t care a wit about any of them. C+

In Bruges— Two criminals get sent to Bruges to hide out after one makes a critical mistake. Could have been better considering the acting talent in it, but a telling piece of my enjoyment was that my favorite part of the DVD was the minute-and-a-half long extra (or was it 2-1/2 minutes?) that was just a compilation of all the swearing from the movie. I enjoyed a vulgar extra more than the film. Not a waste of time, but brought nothing to the table, either. C+

What Would Jesus Buy?—A documentary about Reverend Billy, and his crusade against what he calls the “Shopocalypse”, where all Christmas will become is a day to buy presents for. I get the idea behind it, and I actually agree with much of it (a Wal-Mart clerk died in a Black Friday stampede in 2008—for nothing more important than a cheap Christmas present), but this documentary wasn’t all that interesting or informative. C+

Doctor Strange—Finally an attempt at Marvel Animation that exceeds the source material. The plot was a bit lame (especially the overly long intro to Strange—which I understand was needed to get the newbies up to speed), but I really liked how magic was shown in this story. I never could quite grasp it in the comics, but seeing it in motion worked for me. Not a great movie, for sure, but one I enjoyed more than I thought I would (considering I’ve never been a Strange fan). C

Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa—film. The first movie felt a little flat to me, and this one was the same. There were some humorous moments, nearly always involving the penguins and Julian, but there just wasn’t any heart to it. Worth renting just to catch the penguins do their thing, but be ready to sit through some long sequences without them. C-

The Pineapple Express—film. What if you made a low-budget movie that didn’t look cheap? And what if you filled it with lots of potty humor and pot-smoking? You’d get this film, which I liked but didn’t love. Made by the Judd Apatow gang and starring the usual Apatow cast and filled with the usual R-rated language and hijinks. It was funny, and I was entertained, but I almost had the feeling this was “phoned in”. I’m sure it was designed to be haphazard because the two main characters are potheads (and James Franco and Seth Rogan really sold the parts), but it just felt as if it was a movie made entirely of scenes they couldn’t fit into other movies. Like I said, it wasn’t bad, it just didn’t do much for me. C-

The TV Set—TV. Maybe I just know too much about the TV Industry, but there were no surprises here: a brilliant writer creates a wonderful pilot—and then the whole thing goes to Hell as the actors, studio, and network tweak things to “make it better”. I think the people who made this movie just had an axe to grind. But I guess if the average joe gets an idea of how the entertainment industry waters down nearly everything it touches, it serves a purpose. C-

27 Dresses—I saw this movie two months or so ago, and I can barely remember anything about it. I mean, there was the standard stuff: girl sees love all around her but doesn’t have it herself; girl meets guy she doesn’t get along with; girl and guy still get flirtatious and then more serious; girl and guy have a blow-up; and then they get back together once they realized there was 1. a mistake that caused the fight or 2. they are still right for each other. I don’t remember disliking it, but the fact that I can barely piece any of it together later means it wasn’t memorable. C-

Wedding Daze—Another fairly standard chick flick, but it did co-star Isla Fisher, who I am quickly becoming a big fan of. Nothing really stands out to me after a couple of months since I’ve seen it. Worth renting, maybe. C-

Last Half of 2008 Movie Reviews; D's & F

Better late than never...

Here are my thoughts on the movies/DVDs I saw from July 1- December 31, 2008. As always, these are just gut reactions to what I watched. Hopefully, I can point you in the direction of something you maybe hadn't heard of-- or keep you away from others.

After a good first half of the year (lots of A's and B's), the second half was pretty disappointing. I blame the change in some of my reading materials. Entertainment Weekly decided to greatly reduce their DVD reviews, which was instrumental in giving me direction on some great movies on DVD. Also, my local newspaper stopped running DVD (and even the weekly movie) reviews altogether.

I'm sure they had their reasons, but I can't go to the movie theatre every week to see the newest movies, and by the time they come out on DVD, I can't remember which ones were considered good enough to see.

I also spent a great deal of time watching TV on DVDs, which cut down on my movie watching. So I was often stuck watching whatever I had at the time from the library instead of being more proactive and searching things out.

But, hey, not everything I saw was bad.

And I always lay out the "rules", so here goes:
A: Must-watch.
B: Lots of good stuff and worth checking out
C: Not a time-waster, but not mandatory watching either.
D: Bad. There may be one or two things that make it worth suffering through.
F: Terrible. Not worth the money or the time.

Also, I list where I watched the film. Always assume it was on DVD unless I state otherwise. Why is that important? Because sometimes the experience can enhance or detract from my enjoyment. Watching a film in the theatre (noted as "film") usually bumps a movie up a half-grade just because some movies work better on the big screen.

And, finally, I have to apologize if these don't seem all that coherent. I wrote these reviews over many days at various points and moods. I could have edited them more, but I'm already way late, and if I don't start posting, they'll get added to the large pile of "things I never posted".

And, as always, I start with the worst (and, this time an "incomplete").


AVP 2—I enjoyed most of the films of both the Aliens and the Predator films, but this thing was almost unwatchable. No dialogue with the A’s or the P’s made it tough to figure out the reasons behind their actions (okay, maybe I didn’t need the Alien perspective, but the Predator one would have been nice). And the humans in the movie were just there to be killed. Nothing more. And it was all filmed at night or in very dark places. And it was usually raining. Nice for atmosphere (and scariness), but impossible to actually tell what was going on. I’m guessing the budget was so low, having impossible-to-see action sequences worked out nicely. D

Jumper-- I have now given up on Hayden Christiansen. This movie tried so hard to be more, and failed so much in the attempt. D+

Made of Honor-- It’s been done before. The performances weren’t all that special (even Kevin McKidd couldn’t raise the standards any). This is one of those “chick flicks” you can point to and say “if you’ve seen one of them, you’ve seen them all”. D

Good Luck Chuck—This movie made me give up on Jessica Alba (who I’ve liked quite a bit in the past). I knew this movie wasn’t going to be good (it stars “good movie Kryptonite” Dane Cook), but it was just bad. Not Waiting bad, but not much better. I will say Cook is the luckiest man on the planet, though Dude spent a solid day or three of filming simulated sex scenes with a bevy of hot (and at least topless) women. D-

Meet the Spartans—As bad as I thought it would be. I don’t know why I watch these movies. Well, I do know why: once in a great while, these parody movies are half-way decent, and it’s been a long while since one of those came out. At least they’re short (usually less than an hour of actual opening to closing credits)—and I get my copies from the library, so I’m not throwing money out the window. But I am wasting time… D-

Superhero Movie—I’m not even gonna waste the time reviewing it. F

Persepolis—This film got all sorts of recognition and made a number of critics lists last year, but it didn’t grab me the way I was hoping it would. Visually, it was interesting (black and white animation that aped the look of the graphic novel it’s based on), but I had a hard time keeping interested. At one point, I put the closed captioning on and played it at 2X speed just to speed it up a little and still know what was being said. I don’t want to give this a bad grade because I’ll take some of the blame for not being in an open mood when I watched it. Maybe I should go back and watch it another time. Incomplete.

Additional Previews and Notables for Jan. 26- Feb 1, 2009

As expected, Entertainment Weekly had a few that TV Guide didn't.

Tuesday, 1/27

The Whitest Kids U' Know; IFC. 9:00 pm. Season Premiere.
I wish I got IFC...


Wednesday, 1/28

The Chaser's War on Everything; G4. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Comics show footage of pranks they pulled on people.

Project Xtreme; DIY. 9 pm. Season Premiere.
Uhhh, taking the "e" off "extreme" stopped being cool about ten years ago.


Friday, 1/30

Adrenaline Rush Hour; Discovery. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
More "extreme" stuff...


Sunday, 2/1

Bathtastic!; DIY. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
I think DIY is going to join MTV, VH1, and CMT as networks I won't mention in this blog anymore.

Anniversary Post

Somehow, some way, this blog has made it to post #500.
(Granted I cheated a little; Post #499 is written, but it won't be "published" until the 31st.)

I began this because I was increasingly getting asked when new TV shows were premiering or ending, and I thought I could put the info in one place for all the people who asked.

I, obviously, always have something to say as well. Although I think I've failed a bit in those regards as I just can't find all the time I need to do this blog the way I would love to.

But it gives me a voice. It lets me get a little of that "writing bug" out there. Ask my friends, and they'll tell you that once the gates are opened on a subject I am interested in-- and I have a little time to type-- that I will end up writing an essay on most any subject. I hope I can finally bring some of that in the next 500 posts. We'll see.

Thanks to my friends who've stuck through this; even when there was one post a week that just regurgitated the premieres from the magazines I subscribe to.

Thanks to Brian, who probably unknowingly pushed me into this. We'd get into e-mail discussions that could fill a book, so I thought I'd spare him a little by posting my thoughts here instead of filling his InBox (which I still do fairly regularly). He's been my most consistent wall to bounce thoughts off. Brian's been there since the beginning.

Thanks too, to Tom, who I e-mail less regularly, but it usually gets deep when we do. He brings out the thinker in me, and I appreciate it.

And to my friend Allan, who came on a little late, but now that he's got high speed Internet, he's catching up. He's been a fantastic cheerleader. He always lets me know when he likes something I've posted.

And a final thanks to someone I only know as "Equisbuffy", who has taken the time to e-mail me and comment once in a while. I'm glad someone I don't know personally finds this blog interesting enough to read.

Okay, on to Post #501...

Premieres and Notables, January 26- February 1, 2009

Didn't get my Entertainment Weekly today, so I may have to make an addendum later...

Monday, 1/26

Olivia; Nickelodeon. 10:30 am CST. Series Premiere.
All I know is it's about a pig.

Superstars of Dance (NBC; 7 pm). Season Finale.

American Experience; PBS. 8 pm (check local listings). Season Premiere.

The Closer; TNT. 8 pm. Mid-season return.
...For all of five episodes.

Trust Me; TNT. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Ad-men best friends Eric McCormack and Tom Cavanagh have to deal with the fact that one gets a promotion and the other doesn't.
I believe Cavanagh is one of the most engaging TV actors out there, so I'll be checking it out.


Tuesday, 1/27

Baldwin Hills; BET. 9 pm. Season Premiere.


Wednesday, 1/28

Life on Mars; ABC. 9 pm. Mid-season return/new day.


Thursday, 1/29

Hell's Kitchen; FOX. 8 pm. 5th Season Premiere.

Toughest Cowboy; 10 pm. Series Premiere.
Yet another Mark Burnett-produced reality competition...


Sunday, 2/1

Puppy Bowl V; Animal Planet. 2 pm. Special.
The puppies are back to give dog lovers and Super Bowl haters something else to watch.

Super Bowl; NBC. 5 pm. Special.
The biggest (American) sporting event of the year-- and it finally features a team I'm interested in. The Cinderella-story Arizona Cardinals face the legendary Pittsburgh Steelers.
And we all know that people who buy commercials spend stupid amounts of money on their ads as well as on the ad time, so that has become its own event within the event. --And for those of you who like movies, this is often the first look at the big action flicks of this year (remember the inertia Iron Man received after it's Super Bowl ad last year).

The Office; NBC. 9:30 pm (1 hr ep to air after Super Bowl, so if you're recording it, "go long").
[Seriously, record it to at least 11:30 in case the game goes into overtime.]
So, The Office gets coveted the post-Super Bowl slot.
What's on tap?
Jack Black and Jessica Alba in an interesting cameo appearance.
A young man falls for an older woman (played by Cloris Leachman).
Dwight leads a fire-training seminar.
And Michael is the "guest of honor" in an office roast.

BREAK Nearly Over

Normally a sad thing, but, in this case, the best outcome:

(old news by now, but I somehow missed it): FOX announced last week that Prison Break will sign off at the end of the season.

It returns April 17 for six episodes, but the run could be extended to eight to help the show have a proper ending.

It's bittersweet news for me as this show really cranked up my love for television and was the one that got me checking the internet for news as well as analyzing every episode with friends. In fact, I was writing to my friend Brian about it so much, it kinda pushed me into this whole blogging thing (as a way to not bombard his e-mail inbox with Prison Break info).

It was a fun show that had some poor stretches (which always stretched believability), but when it was good, it was very good. Some great acting, particularly by Peter Stormare and Robert Knepper, and great writing (that show could do suspense) will keep it as a favorite for me for a long time.

Premieres and Notables; January 19-25, 2009

Monday, 1/19

Will Work for Food; Food. 7:30 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Some dude gets his own show about the work that goes into procuring the food we put on the table. Or something like that. I don't know about you, but all the Food Network shows sound about the same to me.

Momma's Boys (NBC; 9 pm). Season Finale. The way I hear it; it most likely will be series finale.

Paranormal State; A&E. 9 pm. Season Premiere.


Tuesday, 1/20

Starting at 9 am CST on most network and cable news channels is the Inauguration of Barack Obama. Like him and his politics or not, you know this will be a speech to remember.

On Scrubs (ABC; 8 pm), Elmo and some of his Sesame Street friends help JD teach the interns. Only on this show could that work...


Wednesday, 1/21

Lie to Me; FOX. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Tim Roth stars as a guy who can can detect lies people tell in this crime series. Bound to be the latest FOX casualty that doesn't live up to its American Idol lead-in.

Lost; ABC. 8 pm. 5th Season Premiere.


Thursday, 1/22

Kitchen Nightmares (FOX; 8 pm). Season Finale.
This show was airing recently? Really?

Burn Notice; USA. 9 pm. Mid-season return.


Friday, 1/23

Electric Company; PBS. 4:30 (check local listings). Series Premiere.
The '70s classic is redone for the new millennium.

Wolverine and the X-Men; Nicktoons. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
The last thing I heard about this show was so long ago, I can't remember it. Something about Professor X disappearing and Wolverine having to lead the X-Men. I never was a big X-Men fan-- and Wolverine usually annoyed more than intrigued me, But I liked X-Men Evolution from a few years back, so I'll probably check this out.

FRIDAY NIGHT Premiere

Addendum to my previous premieres and notables list-- because TV GUIDE suuuuuucks and didn't mention it anywhere in this week's issue:

Friday Night Lights; NBC. 8 pm. 3rd Season Premiere
Yes, this is the season that aired on DirectTV in the Fall-- but it's new for everyone who doesn't have that TV provider.
I've heard from a number of sources that this season is an improvement over Season Two, and brings it back to being one of the best shows on TV. Recommended.

Take Some SOUP

I've written about The Soup a few times, and if you haven't checked it out, this week's episode is crazy.

I wrote to a friend of mine just this week that The Soup has all the reality show nonsense I can handle in one week. Thankfully, host Joel McHale brings a lot of humor to this clip show that proves that humanity is doomed to destruction.

I don't know what's worse about these reality shows: that the subjects of them are that repulsive/messed up-- or that people watch that crap week after week (and sometimes in all-day marathons).

And it's not limited to reality shows. This week's Clip of the Week comes from ABC's 20/20 and features one of the most jaw-dropping subjects I've ever heard about. I'd like to see what the kid thinks of that clip in 20 years.

Watch The Soup and see what I'm talking about.

This week's ep still repeats a few times. The network is E! (home of some of the worst of these types of shows) and here are the times (CST):
Monday, 2:30 am
Tuesday, 1:00 am
Tuesday, 7:00 am

Premieres and Notables; January 12-17, 2009

One of the biggest weeks of the year. So much for that break we've had the past few weeks when Holiday specials and repeats littered the airwaves.


Monday, 1/12

Kyle XY; ABC Family. 8 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.


Tuesday, 1/13

American Idol; FOX. 7 pm. 8th Season Premiere.
And the entire TV landscape changes again as FOX shows get drawn in-- and other networks just try to stay out of the way...
As for people like me who don't watch the show, we "get" to hear way way way more about this thing than we want to.
And for those of you who do watch, get ready for hours and hours of pure shit auditions until they actually get to the contest next month.

Chopped; Food. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Ted Allen hosts this new cooking competition.


Wednesday, 1/14

Make 'Em Laugh: The Funny Business of America; PBS. 7 pm (check local listings). Mini-series.
A 3-night look at the funniest Americans in the biz, hosted by Billy Crystal. The first installment looks at comic outsiders such as Harold Lloyd, Bob Hope, and Steve Martin.
I've heard good things about this series. Might be worth checking out.


Thursday, 1/15

The week's new Smallville (CW; 7 pm) is huge for a number of reasons. First, Clark is visited by three teens from the future. Teens who call themselves the Legion of SuperHeroes. This is geekgasm stuff here, people. Second, they're followed by future villain The Persuader. Third, the costumes these people wear are loyal to the comics-- but not silly-looking. And fourth, and most importantly, this episode was written by DC Comic writer Geoff Johns. Johns is who I would credit as being the most exciting writer in the super-tights business right now. He has a great respect for the past, but can tell stories in a very contemporary fashion. This is an episode worth checking out.

On CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS, 8 pm), William Petersen (Grissom) says goodbye as a series regular.

The Beast; A&E. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Patrick Swayze stars as an FBI agent who gets a rookie partner.
That's all I've got, people...


Friday, 1/16

Battlestar Galactica; Sci Fi. 9 pm. Season 4.5 (final) Premiere.
The final 10 episodes of the series begin tonight. Lots of wrapping up to do, beginning with the reveal of who is the 12th Cylon (which will happen in an early episode). Other things dealt with: Adama takes up drinking to deal with Tigh, Lee steps in to cover for Bill, and Kara must face the fact that she may be the ruin of humanity.

I devoured Seasons 2.0, 2.5, and 3 in a matter of two months, and will be getting to Season 4.0 in a couple of weeks, so I'm looking forward to catching up with everyone else by the end.
This is amazing television, folks. One of the most human shows on the air. The robots, spaceships, and other sci fi stuff is just background to the real things going on around it. Highly Recommended.


Saturday, 1/17

Solitary 3.0; FOX Reality. 8 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.


Sunday, 1/18

Big Love; HBO. 8 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.
Not as "yucky" as the premise would lead you to believe. This is a great family drama without all the mopiness of something like Brothers and Sisters. Season One was a fantastic look at the trials of a husband and father-- just multiplied by three. Season Two was more into the plot of avoiding the "camp" Bill and one of his wives came from, and was a bit of a disappointment to me. Sounds like they might be getting back to the family more this season. Recommended.

The L Word; Showtime. 8 pm. 6th (and final) Season Premiere.

Flight of the Conchords; HBO. 9 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.
I didn't catch all the episodes last season, but I saw was pretty good. Check it out.

The United States of Tara; Showtime. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Toni Collette stars in this Diablo Cody (Juno)-created series about a woman with three personalities.
I've heard good things, but I haven't checked out the premiere yet, so I'll just give a check it out.

Secret Diary of a Call Girl; Showtime. 9:30. 2nd Season Premiere.
Belle gets a protegee-- and falls in love.

Apple Revolutionizes Computing-- Again

Brilliant parody. Listen to every word...

Men Vs Women

Premieres and Notables; January 5-11, 2009

Lots and lots coming up, and not much time, so it'll be a quickie...

Monday, 1/5

Antiques Roadshow; PBS. 7 pm. 13th Season Premiere.

The Bachelor; ABC. 7 pm. Season Premiere.
Featuring the first single-dad bachelor. BFD.

DietTribe; Lifetime. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
A bride-to-be and four of her friends look to lose 30 lbs each before the big day.

True Beauty; ABC. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
A beauty contest where the contestants don't know that inner beauty also counts in it.


Tuesday, 1/6

Homeland Security USA; ABC. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Reality show featuring the Homeland officers.

The Biggest Loser: Couples; NBC. 7 pm. Season Premiere.

Scrubs; ABC. 8 & 8:30 pm. 8th Season Premiere.
NBC doesn't have this show to kick around anymore. ABC picked it for this 8th-- and final (for this cast anyway)-- season. Just wish ABC could have found a more compatible lead-in.

Nip/Tuck; FX. 9 pm. 5th Season Premiere.


Wednesday, 1/7

13-Fear is Real; CW. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
13 people tackle horrific challenges in a house in the woods. And-- big surprise-- the winner gets $66,666. Spoooooky...

Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns; TBS. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Leroy Brown opens a retirement home. I don't know what that means, but the Cult of Perry probably does.

Damages; FX. 9 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.
Glenn Close, Ted Danson, Marcia Gay Harden, William Hurt, Timothy Olyphant...
Do you really need any more reasons?


Thursday, 1/8

Greg Behrendt's Wake-Up Call; SOAPnet. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Just because I love the Entertainment Weekly write-up: "Couples get relationship advice from a guy whose show was initially meant for ABC but got dumped to SOAPnet. I guess ABC just wasn't that into him."


Friday, 1/9

Howie Do It; NBC. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Howie Mandel pranks people in this hidden camera series. Yawn.

Stargate Atlantis (Sci Fi; 8 pm). Series Finale.

Flashpoint; CBS. 8 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.
The summer show that got renewed for the regular season that has to come every few years.

Comedy Central Presents; Comedy Central. 9 pm. 13th Season Premiere.


Saturday, 1/10

The Graham Norton Show (BBC America; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Sunday, 1/11

24; FOX. 7 pm. 6th Season Premiere.
18 months after Season 5 ended, the show returns.

Tool Academy; VH1. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
I know I vowed to never mention a VH1 show in this blog, but you just have to love this title. Anyway, the show is about nine guys who are "tools" to their girlfriends, so they get sent to a relationship school to try to get straightened out.

Premieres and Notables; December 29, 2008- January 4, 2009

Monday, 12/29

Ron Howard: 50 Years in Film; TCM. 7 pm. Special.
TCM (which knows good movies-- and doesn't do tabloid crap) spends 90 minutes talking to Howard about his work.


Tuesday, 12/30

The 31st Annual Kennedy Center Honors; CBS. 8 pm. Special.
Recipients are: Barbra Streisand, Morgan Freeman, George Jones, Twyla Tharp, Pete Townshend, and Roger Daltrey.


Thursday, 1/1

Dear Genevieve; HGTV. 12 noon. Series Premiere.
Genevieve Gorder gets a new show. I think it has something to do with room/house makeovers.
Just 237 more makeover shows, and everyone's house will be perfect...

NBC reairs last season's finale of The Office, which introduced Amy Ryan's HR rep, who is told Kevin is "special" (and. amazingly, Kevin acts no different this ep than others; he's just looked at differently).


Sunday, 1/4

Superstars of Dance; NBC. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Now that Sunday Night Football is over, NBC decided to steal a little of FOX's American Idol and ABC's Dancing With the Stars to make yet another dance reality competition show.

Masterpiece Classic; PBS. 8 pm (check local listings). Season Premiere.
The newest season begins with Tess of the D'Ubervilles this week and next.

Sex Ed For a New Generation

I hope this works better here than it did on YouTube (don't know if it's my crappy computer or a crappy file). It's amusing.

It's Not Too Late...

...To get the best toy of the year.




What are you waiting for?
Get to your local department store!

Premieres and Notables; December 22-28; 2008

Before I get to the premieres, I just have to say bravo to TV Guide for finally putting a worthy cover out on the stands.

I used to think "pathetic" when I'd flip through the letters from fans gushing over the sexy cover boy (or sometimes girl) on some issue or another. But now I get it. This cover is great for three reasons:

1. How I Met Your Mother needs-- and deserves-- much more attention that it usually gets.

2. Neil Patrick Harris' Barney is the perfect "subject" for a cover like this.

3. Cobie Smulders and Alyson Hannigan are frakkin hot!

So let me say, publicly, "good job" to TV Guide right now.

--But that won't stop me from composing a "Why TV Guide sucks" post some time in the future...

Because it's been a long time coming.

BTW: Entertainment Weekly also has a pictorial of the entire cast of How I Met Your Mother reenacting some scenes from movies and life in 2008. Films include Indiana Jones and the Kingdom blah blah blah, Sex and the City, and then they also did a shot of the Men's Olympic swim team-- and the best: the guys of HIMYM as the Jonas Brothers.

Two major mags giving this show its props in the same week.

Hopefully things are looking up.

Okay, on to the premiere stuff:

Monday, 12/22

One of the best episodes of How I Met Your Mother ever airs tonight (CBS; 7:30 pm). The 2007 "Slapsgiving" celebration finds Marshall terrorizing Barney over a slap that is owed him. After many bluffs, Marshall finally does the deed. And then does something hilarious afterward; just to increase Barney's humiliation. This is must see TV right here, folks.

Prison Break (FOX; 8 pm). Mid-season finale. One of Linc's crew doesn't make it out of the ep alive. Here's my take on it, so if you haven't watched up to this point, skip to the next listing because this is a minor spoiler alert. I don't know anything, but here are my odds of death. Linc: 500-1; T-Bag: 200-1; Gretchen: 10-1; Self: 5-1.

Spoiler over

The Life a House Built; PBS. 8 pm (check local listings). Special.

A look at Jimmy Carter's work with Habitat For Humanity. I work with someone who bought a Habitat house (yes, they do buy them; just at reduced rates and reduced costs due to donated material and labor) last year, and I learned quite a bit about this fantastic program from her. Hopefully some insight can be gained for others with this special.

Tuesday, 12/23

A Home for the Holidays With Faith Hill; CBS. 7 pm. Special.

Frank TV (TBS; 10 pm). Season finale.

If a show airs, but no one gives a crap, does it really exist?

Wednesday, 12/24

A Christmas Story; TBS. 7 pm. marathon.

TBS runs its annual 24 hours of the classic film.

It's a Wonderful Life; NBC. 7 pm. Movie.

Another classic film; but only airing once.

Sunday, 12/28

Summer Heights High (HBO; 9:30) Season Finale.

This is an awesome show. Very much in the spirit of the original The Office and other more subtle comedy. Catch it on reruns or with OnDemand.

More Free Music

I've been without my computer the past two weeks or so, so when I got it back, I found an e-mail from amazon.com that said it was offering a free Christmas-music song for download every day this month.

Haven't listened to them yet, and Christmas-music isn't really my thing, so I don't know what's all there, but, c'mon, they're free.

And when you download a few of the songs (they've kept all the freebies up since Dec. 1), you can link to the other free songs and sampler albums they have. I just downloaded all I could find-- 98 new songs.

Check 'em out at: http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=pe_32950_10911590_pe_18/?docId=1000314901

I'll also recommend downloading the Amazon MP3 Downloader if you start downloading these tunes. If you have the Downloader and have iTunes open when you download from Amazon, the Amazon MP3 Downloader also transfer the songs automatically to your iTunes library. No pain-in-the-ass file manual transfers.

The Most Inspirational Speech-- EVER

"Novel Take"

I'm not tryin' to be a hater with two (true) Darth Bush posts in a row, but I like (Pulitzer Prize winner) Leonard Pitt Jr.'s work. He had a great editorial about the Bible a year or so ago-- and also brought my attention the diabolical censorship past of Sarah Palin.

This one grabbed my attention a few days ago where he calls out misguided stupidity:
'Novel take' on tenure of President Bush


Here's another, where he suggests how the Republicans could change strategy:
Don't let fear trump hope


Or another where he talks about the death penalty (and even though I was all for it a decade or so ago, viewpoints like Pitt's have swung me in the other direction since then):
Capital punishment is wrong, unfair


And, finally, a very mature explanation of why it's okay to believe in God:
Making sense of the meaning of life


You may not agree with him, but you have to admit he has a very nice, intelligent way about him that makes it difficult to disagree. And I find him refreshing that he doesn't resort to hatefulness when he's making his point. When one speaks of politics, race, and religion as he does, it's a tough-- but possible-- goal to not be overly mean.

Check out some of his other past columns at The Miami Herald

One Picture = a Million Words

Courtesy of Clay Bennett.
http://www.timesfreepress.com/news/cartoons/

Premieres and Notables; December 15-21, 2008

Still no home computer, so this'll be another quick one without the usual wise-ass comments. (I know: boo hoo.)

Monday, 12/15

Cat Dancers; HBO. 7 pm. Special.
A documentary about the three tiger and leopard tamers that were mauled by one of their charges a decade ago.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (FOX; 7 pm). Mid-season finale.

Intervention; A&E. 8 pm. Season Premiere.


Tuesday, 12/16

Biggest Loser: Families (NBC; 7 pm). Season Finale.

Blush (Lifetime; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Momma's Boys; NBC. 9 pm. Series premiere.
Three sons look for love (or an easy lay) in this dating reality show. But wait! There's more: the three men's moms live with the ladies in the house.

Breaking the Huddle; HBO. 9 pm. Special.
A documentary about the civil rights movement on college football.

And a Tuesday note: I've finally started watching this season's Eli Stone, and I have to recommend it. It's not always the most comedic or dramatic, but I love the sense that this character is a "prophet" (which religion? doesn't matter). It's a crime a show this unique and with this wonderful belief that one man can change the world got the ax. Watch it while you can on ABC at 9 pm.


Wednesday, 12/17

A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa; NBC. 7 pm. Special.

Stylista (The CW; 8 pm). Season Finale.

Parking Wars (A&E; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Sunday, 12/21

Brotherhood (Showtime; 7 pm). Season Finale.

Skins (BBC America; 9 pm). Season Finale.

NBC's Big Move

Probably old news for most of you-- but I'm trying to keep people up to date.

If you didn't know, Jay Leno was supposed to be "bumped" from The Tonight Show next year because Conan O'Brien was already promised the job. Then, when Jay's ratings stayed high, and he didn't show signs of being ready to leave, NBC had a problem on its hands. ABC and most other major and minor networks were all chomping at the bit to land him because Jay had nowhere to go on NBC. And NBC didn't want to lose the long-time king of late night.

So NBC thought outside the box and gave Jay a nightly TV show at the 10 pm (9 pm for us CST people).

It's a bold move for a network as they're taking out an entire five hours of "regular" programming from its prime time schedule, but NBC has been trying to think outside the block for the last two years (remember the "no scripted programming in the first hour of prime time" idea that seems to have been forgotten?).

Looks like NBC (and I'm sure Jay as well) made out well. NBC has big holes in its schedule, and they'll get worse once ER signs off. And now they've got a proven player (albeit a "late night" one) that will produce a show that will ultimately end up cheaper than what NBC was putting on before.

It remains to be seen if Letterman will gain some ground without Jay as competition or whether Conan will hold on to the viewers.

It also remains to be seen how long this "experiment" lasts. If ratings go south, will they pull back a night or three? What will NBC air when there aren't new episodes? How about when NBC makes a large block for original programming like the three-hour Heroes premiere this season?

I'm sure NBC has thought about it, but, as usual, they remain tight-lipped.

Premieres and Notables, December 8-14, 2008

Quick and dirty post this week (and probably the next few)... Computer took a dive, so I'm stuck on public computers-- yay!

Monday, 12/8

Boston Legal (ABC; 8 pm). Series Finale.

Top Gear; BBC America. 7 pm. Season Premiere.


Tuesday, 12/9

Manhunters: Fugitive Task Force; A&E. 9 pm. Series Premiere.


Thursday, 12/10

Sarah Silverman Program (Comedy Central; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Friday, 12/12

Starter Wife (USA; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Saturday, 12/13

The Greatest Game Ever Played; ESPN. 8 pm. Special.
A special reairing of the classic 1958 matchup between the Colts and the football Giants.


Sunday, 12/14

Survivor: Gabon (CBS; 7 pm). Season Finale

Dexter (Showtime; 8 pm). Season Finale.

Californication (Showtime; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Serve up some GREY'S SOUP

I love The Soup...

Soupy Grey's