2008 Q2 Films/DVDs: B's

And Starring Pancho Villa as Himself— An interesting look at how things can be perceived and influenced by the media. Good script, acting, directing; especially considering this was a made-for-TV (HBO) movie. B-

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly-- I just wasn’t as moved by this movie as I should have been. It’s not to say the performances and directing weren’t good; I just had issues with who everyone was and how they fit into things and how stretched out some of the scenes were. But the story is amazing: a man becomes nearly completely paralyzed and only has control over his left eyelid, and with the help of an assistant, he writes his autobiography. B-

Enchanted—I thought the movie was cute, and the performances were good. There were plenty of “Easter eggs” for those who have seen most of the Disney fairy tale films over the years. I’d give it a solid “decent enough”. B-

Hitman—Typical action/chase movie about an organization trying to stop a “monster” it created, with double-crossings, a hot chick in tow, and lots of cool action sequences. It wasn’t bad, but it certainly wasn’t a Bourne movie either. A bald, emotionless Timothy Olyphant can still be an effective actor, but I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: this dude needs a cool kick-ass role comparable to his role in Deadwood. I’m not trying to pigeonhole the guy because I see he’s got lots of talents beyond that one character, but the characters he’s been playing since Deadwood haven’t been good enough for him. B-

Horton Hears a Who—film. A bit bloated, but it followed the book pretty well. Above-average voice acting (although I still wish some of these big releases would let veteran voice actors do more work). B-

King Corn—TV. I‘m not sure how it all started, but two friends find out that the carbon in their hair is almost ¾ parts corn-based. How did that happen? They decide to rent an acre of corn field in Iowa, so they can track the journey of corn from beginning to end. It wasn’t very exciting, but it was interesting. It’s amazing to think that nearly everything we eat and drink has corn in it (mostly in the form of fructose corn syrup used as a sweetener). And one farmer had the line that summed up nearly all the corn production in America (paraphrased here): “Every year we grow more corn than ever before, and every year we grow less edible corn than ever before.” Most those cornfields you see in person or on TV are actually designed for use as an additive in food or meal for livestock (which has greatly shortened the lifespan of said livestock). When you want your mind opened a little, take 90 minutes and watch this movie. I can’t say it changed my life at all, but it sure is good fodder for conversation. B-

The Kite Runner— I’m not sure what to make of this movie. It was good, but it left me a little flat. It started out well, focusing on two boys (great acting, BTW) who were “from different worlds”; one was the son of a wealthy man, the other was the son of that man’s servant. The servant boy was extremely loyal, but when he got into trouble, the wealthy son didn’t help his friend. They got separated, and, years later, the wealthy son had the opportunity to atone for his sin, and the second half of the movie follows his journey. I should have been more moved by the story, but the second half was so rushed, I never felt that the wealthy son had sacrificed enough to make up for abandoning his friend. B-

Phone Booth— A short, tense thriller that was unique and interesting to me, but the ending left me a bit flat. Good performances by the actors, and the directing kept things frenetic, though. B-

Sweeney Todd-- I don’t “get” musicals. I also had a tough time understanding this one (thank God for DVD subtitles). It looked beautiful, as can be expected from Tim Burton, and the acting of Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, and the others was very well done. The story just left me a bit flat. B-

Atonement— An interesting “experiment”. Take the conventions of a love story set in the early 20th Century, and then tweak it a little. It shone a light on the follies of youth as well as the differences between classes. The end was depressing, but it showed the power of fiction. Can one change the story if one takes it into her own hands? B

Beowulf— The oldest story in the Western World is updated for modern audiences—and it’s done pretty well. I haven’t read the original (or any translations), so I don’t know how faithful it is to the source material, but as an action movie, it was pretty sound. It hit a number of beats of a typical action film, and the motion capture animation was one of the better products I’ve seen. B

Interview-- A very interesting film about celebrity that was adapted from a foreign film (this time directed by Steve Buscemi). Buscemi plays a former war correspondent who is assigned to interview a young actress (Sienna Miller) best known for being in bad movies (think of what someone like Lindsey Lohan would be in five years—assuming she doesn’t grow up). They get along like oil and water, but something happens that brings them back together, and they start peeling back the layers of who they are underneath the exteriors they’ve built for themselves. The acting and the story were very powerful. What doesn’t give this a better grade is toward the end of the movie, the “peeling back” is partly true and partly false, and it was difficult to determine what was and what wasn’t real. It didn’t kill the movie for me, but I think it hurt its effectiveness because it was otherwise a very powerful look at public perception. B

Kung Fu Panda—film. I have issues with animated movies that rely heavily on the talents of actors usually seen on screen (as opposed to professional voice actors), but Jack Black owned this role. Sure, someone else could have been Po’s voice, but Black was Po. The same can be said for Ian McShane, whose growlly voice was perfect as the Tiger (sorry, can’t access his character name right now). The animation was beautiful, and the story was typical (“everyone has a hero inside him”), yet varied enough to keep things interesting. B

30 Days of Night-- I’m not a horror movie fan, but I am a comic fan, so I had to check this out. Scary. It took the abstract art of the comic and made a pretty good film. I even understood the (stripped-down) story of the film better than I did the comic. It’s a great concept (vampires invade an Alaskan town that experiences 30 straight days of no sun due to its location), and it’s amazing no one else thought of it until the comic came out a few years ago. Check out the DVD extras; they’re pretty cool. B+

Appleseed Ex Machina— I’m not an anime fan, and I don’t know any of the backstory of these characters, but I was absolutely amazed with the visuals of this movie. It was one of the most beautifully colored and rendered movies I’ve ever seen. And since John Woo played a part in its creation, you can also be assured the action scenes were top-notch. I recommend watching this on a big screen TV with Surround Sound and just let yourself be blown away by it. B+

August Rush-- A movie that should have bored me, but it took a different approach to tell a well-worn story about a boy looking for his parents. The acting was great by Freddie Highmore, Keri Russell, John Rhys Meyers, and Robin Williams (who played a very unsettling, charismatic, scumbag). There were scarier moments (probably because I was expecting something “really bad” to happen due to previous stories I’ve encountered), but it ended up being pretty tame; tame enough for most grade school kids to watch. It also had a great “magic” about it that revolved around music. I had seen it all before, but it’s done really well here. B+

The Contender— I didn’t know what to expect from this film, so it was a nice surprise to have it end up to be a political thriller. And even though there were “big surprises” at the end that were a bit larger than life, Jeff Bridges’ president gave a kick-ass speech at the end that could never have happened in the real world—but was sure fun to watch in a movie. The performances were great, and the plot seemed very true to life. B+

Gone Baby Gone— Another film that would be great to show in a group because it raises very good questions about “right” and “wrong” and what makes a heroic act (something good on the surface or something that may only look good after years). This is Ben Affleck’s first turn as a director, and he did an fantastic job coaxing excellent performances from his actors (most notably, his brother Casey, who was amazing) and also brought the movie a very real, gritty Boston (his hometown). I should know a movie like this will have twists and turns, but I was surprised by them. The movie drew me in from the first minute and I was along for the ride. B+

No Country for Old Men-- A dark chase movie. Great acting all around, and the directing was fantastic. The end was a bit nebulous for me, but then again, I can’t expect everything to be tied up in a bow for our entertainment. B+

There Will Be Blood-- A great acted/directed movie that could have used a bit more storytelling. There was more than once where I thought “Now how did they get here?” Also, the very bad blood between Plainview and the Reverend seemed to come from almost nowhere. They never got along, but there was serious hatred in the back half of the movie that didn’t seem justified from what we saw previously. But, as I said, it’s extremely well done, and Daniel Day Lewis was unbelievable in it. And the “I drink your milkshake” scene… wow. B+

2008 Q2 Films/DVDs: C's, D's, and F's

Yeah, yeah-- I'm way late on giving the list of (and grades) on what I watched in April, May, and June. Give me a break. I had a busy summer, and I'm now in the midst of the Fantasy Football season (I'm 1-0 in both leagues on my quest to repeat in one and three-peat in the other).

Anyway, the rules are the same: these are just very short things that popped in my head to write about these films or DVDs. Also, I am not a professional. If I got paid to write, I'd be a professional-- and I don't get paid to do this. I go with my gut. There are more than one film I rated a little low because it just didn't do for me what the pros said they did for them. Also, I tend to grade movies I see in the theatres a little higher than I would on DVD (maybe half a grade). I don't intentionally do it, but the theatre brings a lot to a film, in my opinion that can't be replicated on a TV.

These are my grades. Repeat: my grades. I tried to be consistent, which is to say, if I graded one movie a B, and another one an A, then I enjoyed/was impressed by the A more than the B.

And the basic thought behind a grade is:
F: Utter crap. Do not waste your time.
D: Pretty bad. May have one funny scene or an especially good acting performance among the rest of the garbage.
C: Average. Not bad, not special.
B: Pretty good. Worth watching.
A: Very good. Highly recommended.

And, as I've said before: I tend to watch more good movies than bad. If a DVD gets a great review in any number of magazines/newspapers, I'll probably end up watching it. Why I say that: I'm trying to show I'm not skewing the grades; I just tend to watch better movies.

Titles are given. I saw them on DVD unless otherwise noted (film=theatre; TV=premium channel; uncut).


Awake-- I want to like Hayden Christensen. I really do. But he makes it hard with acting here as wooden as it was in Attack of the Clones. There was a great scene where his mind is screaming when he’s being operated on (the premise of the film is this guy undergoes a heart transplant and is awake during it all because the anesthesia didn’t knock him out; it just paralyzed him), but other than that, the rest of the film was weak. And to make the film even more lame, there is a conspiracy to kill him during the transplant, which led to a number of twists and turns that got more and more far-fetched as the film drug on. D-

Balls of Fury-- A silly, not very good movie-- but I knew that going in. This is brain candy. It did offer some great cameos, though; particularly Thomas Lennon’s German ping pong champion. D+

Deepwater—TV. Being a Lucas Black fan, I wanted to check this out. Considering I ran across it on one of the movie channels and hadn’t heard about it before then, I didn’t have high hopes. It was weird. Black’s character steals a car to get out of a fight and ends up in this town run by a hotel owner. He meets up with a maid, and they agree to take the owner’s money and get out of town. But everything isn’t what it appears. D+

The Darjeeling Limited— I don’t understand “arty” movies. I can see the appeal for directors and actors and can often see the benefit for viewers, but some have me wondering “what is the purpose of this?” about 45 minutes in. This was one of those movies. Good acting, nice lines, mildly humorous, but at the 45 minute mark, I almost stopped it. Then the hour mark came, and something happened that actually brought quite a bit to the movie and pulled it all together. But it was a long wait. C-

Baby Mama—film. Tina Fey is the greatest thing since sliced bread if you’ve read any critic’s pieces about her, her show, or this movie. I like Fey a lot, but this movie was standard fare all the way. I’m woefully inadequate when it comes to “predicting” plots; I like to just watch the movie/show or read the book and be brought along for the ride. But I saw the ending coming a mile away. It’s not to say the movie wasn’t funny or anything; it was just a standard B-type comedy. Nothing you can’t see in a hundred other films in any given year. C

Before the Devil Knows you’re Dead-- Another well-crafted movie that left me cold. Two brothers decide to get some easy money—by knocking off their parents’ jewelry store. Things don’t go as planned. C

Incredible Hulk—film. Another attempt at getting this franchise right, and another near-miss. Ed Norton tried, but I wasn’t buying him as Bruce Banner. I really didn’t buy Liv Tyler as Betty Ross (I thought she was too soft). The guy I “bought” the most was the guy who didn’t seem to fit in: Tim Roth as Emil Blonsky/Abomination. Now he was great. I also have some issues with some character choices: why couldn’t the Hulk be green? Why did he have to be this dull grey/green thing? And why did the Abomination have to not look like the guy from the comics? I’m not one of those fanboy haters, but I did not find the movie version an improvement at all over the comic version. At least ti didn’t have stupid Hulk dogs this time. Nice try; but try harder next time (and there will be a next time, I’m sure). C

Lars and the Real Girl-- Lars is a quiet guy, who lives in a quiet town, and everyone wants him to meet a girl in the hopes that he’ll be more sociable. Instead of meeting one, he designs and buys one. He picked the “type” of woman he wanted, and bought a high-end sex doll. Then he treated her like a real person; he talked to her, set her up with a room at his brother’s house (she couldn’t stay with Lars because they weren’t married), and even brought her to church. And everyone played along because they all loved Lars. It wasn’t a bad movie—in fact the acting was above average—but it was just pointless. It was one of those well-written, well acted, well directed “slice of life” movies that doesn’t have a conflict or a resolution. C

Sex and the City—film. I watched the toned-down series on TBS, but I didn’t fall in love with the show like everyone else in the world seemed to. But I did enjoy it, and I was happy my wife was able to get excited for a movie like I get to be a few times a year. The movie felt long, as it covered material that probably would have made a decent sixth season of the series. Half-way through, I thought, This can’t be how this will turn out; these characters aren’t that stupid, but the movie was able to rectify the conflicts it began, and the movie ended by telling a complete story. But the thing is: there was no need for this movie. It ended with everyone in the same boat they were in at the end of the series. C

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story-- A ridiculous parody of the musical biopic. There wasn’t anything spectacular about it. The funniest moments for me were the ones where John C. Reilly was trying to pass himself off as the teenaged Dewey Cox. It’s a decent enough movie to kill some time with, but nothing must-see. C

Cloverfield-- I don’t know what to make of this. I’m not a monster movie aficionado, so maybe I wasn’t the target audience. It was done well considering it was meant to look cheap (everything is through the lens of a handheld video camera operated by one of the main characters). I thought the monster looked goofy (when we could actually see it), and I guess since it was supposed to resemble true life, we can’t really expect an answer to “where did it come from/what does it want?” But it would have been nice. The story just kinda started and then just kinda stopped. But it did stay true to what it was trying to capture (one small group of people’s experience with a monster), so I guess it succeeded that way. C+

Death at a Funeral— I was hoping to like this more than I did. Take a small, silly British movie with bizarre characters and increasingly bizarre situations, and I should be all over it like I am for BBC America shows like Worst Week of My Life. But this film just seemed like it was trying too hard, and it, ultimately, wasn’t as funny as I hoped. C+

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull—film. I’m not gonna say Harrison Ford is too old. I’m not gonna say George Lucas didn’t come up with a good concept. And I’m not gonna say Steven Spielberg didn’t do his job. But I will say this didn’t feel like an Indiana Jones movie. Something was “off”. I don’t know if it was the setting, the sci fi elements, or what, but it didn’t feel right. It also didn’t help when the nuclear bomb went off. I know Indy doesn’t live in the real world, but come on… It still had great action, though; so there is something worth watching. C+

Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium— This film tried to be too many different things. It was a fairy tale of sorts, but it had its dark moments that took me out of the fantastical elements. It was a coming of age story that came a little too easily. It was a “learn to believe in magic” story that was tidied up too quickly. Dustin Hoffman was a little too much, Natalie Portman was a little too little, Jason Bateman worked well in a character that wasn’t fleshed out enough, and Zach Mills was perfect as the hat collector. The film certainly wasn’t bad, just disjointed. And it didn’t live up to what it could have given premise and the actors. C+

My Kid Could Paint That-- A young preschool girl becomes an art sensation when her abstract paintings sell for tens of thousands of dollars. That creates a frenzy because it’s abstract art; an art type that a good chunk of the population believes is bunk to begin with, and now a little girl is creating works that stack up against some of the abstract greats. And then people begin questioning if she was doing the paintings herself, or if she had help from her artist father. There was a lot going on in this movie, and it was interesting to see the fragility of the art world, but nothing really got “solved”. The movie just ended. It was all you expect, but I wanted more. C+

Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic—TV. Sometimes I like Silverman, and sometimes I don’t. This film was a mix of her standup and some skits and pieces in between bits. Some were funny, some weren’t. If you’ve watched her Comedy Central show, you know what to expect. C+

CRASH on TV

One of my readers pointed out that the website for the Starz network's new show Crash is up and running.

I'm gonna be completely honest and say I haven't explored it yet.

But check it out. It's got good buzz.

http://www.starz.com/crash

It's Always Sunny Here

I visited FX's It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia website, and it lets people make a 60 second mash-up. Here's mine:





It's a pretty cool site. It took me a little while to get it to work (there is a limit to the amount of things you can include), but it was fun.

Check it out at http://sunnymashup.fxnetworks.com/

Premieres and Notables; September 15-21, 2008

Monday, 9/15



Dora the Explorer; Nickelodeon. 9:30 am. 5th season premiere.


My Family's Got GUTS; Nickelodeon. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Nick brings the '90s show GUTS into the 21st Century-- and brings mom and dad along.


Weeds (Showtime; 9 pm). Season Finale
I can't wait to see how Nancy gets out of the shit-storm she got herself into last week. I predict a gun is pulled on her-- and we get a "to be continued in 2009".


The Closer (TNT; 8 pm) Mid-season Finale




Tuesday, 9/16


Biggest Loser: Families; NBC. 7 pm. Season Premiere.


House; FOX. 7 pm. 5th Season Premiere.


Wipeout (ABC; 7 pm). Season Finale.
This finale features outtakes from the season as well as some of the highs and lows of the Big Balls competition.
My most-rewound DVR TV moment of the summer? That dude whose legs split from under him and crushed his berries on the Big Balls. Now that's good TV.


Big Brother 10 (CBS; 8 pm). Season Finale.
Go, Dan! Go!

Whatever, Martha; Fine Living. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Martha's daughter, Alexis, and Jennifer Koppleman-Hutt go Mystery Science Theater 3000 on '90s episodes of Martha Stewart Living. Sounds weird, but could be funny.




Wednesday, 9/17


My favorite line from last week was when Kenny talked to Eddie on 'Til Death (FOX; 8 pm). Eddie didn't want to go in the house, and Kenny found him outside the door and asked, "What happened? Lose your keys? Takin' a fart walk?"
I admit it: the show is below average-- JB Smoove rules...




Thursday, 9/18


Smallville; The CW. 7 pm. 8th Season Premiere.
Powerless Clark meets the Justice League.


Supernatural; The CW. 8 pm. Season Premiere.
Dean's back from Hell...

Burn Notice (USA; 9 pm). Mid-season Finale. Expected to be back in January.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia; FX. 9 & 9:30 pm. 4th season premiere.

It's not for everyone, but I love this show. The characters are despicable and the situations are outrageous, but it's funny. Really, really funny. Gas prices, meat, rehab, waterboarding, and a mysterious turd found in a bed are on tap. Speaking of "on tap", I can only imagine there will be lots and lots of drinking...

Friday, 9/19

Big Shots: Titans of the Tee; Speed. 7 pm. Series Premiere.

Golfing and NASCAR-- two great tastes that, apparently, go great together.

20/20; ABC. 9 pm. Season Premiere.

Sunday, 9/21

60th Primetime Emmy Awards; ABC. 7 pm. Special.

I love TV, but I haven't even watched the Emmys the past couple of years. This year, they seem to have gotten more of the correct choices than not. And we've got NPH in the running for Best Supporting Actor, so you gotta love that.

Premieres and Notables; September 8-14, 2008

And the TV season officially begins...

There are so many premieres and finales, I'm just going to list most without much comment. If there's something interesting to note, I'll note it. If I have some sort of smart-ass comment, I'll make it. Otherwise, you get the name, network, and time.

And sorry about all the gaps in the post. I added a picture, and then the format got all messed up. I tried fixing it, but it didn't work (and I needed the picture; you'll understand why).


Monday, 9/8

The Bonnie Hunt Show; syndicated. 8 am CST. Series Premiere.
This morning chat fest has Robin Williams as a guest for the premiere.

The Doctors; syndicated. 8 am CST. Series Premiere.
A daily health show.

Judge Karen; syndicated. 8 am CST. Series Premiere.
Because there aren't enough courtroom shows...

The Ellen DeGeneres Show; syndicated. 9 am. Season Premiere.

Family Court with Judge Penny; syndicated. 11 am CST. Series premiere.
There are enough courtroom shows-- but at least this focuses on something specific: family issues.

Jeopardy; syndicated. 6 pm. 25th season premiere.

Deal or No Deal; NBC. 7 pm. Season Premiere.
Pull out the guest stars... Tonight, NASCAR driver Jimmie Johnson shows up.

Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles; FOX. 7 pm. 2nd season premiere.

High School Musical: Get in the Picture (ABC; 7 pm). Season finale.

The Rachel Maddow Show; MSNBC. 8 pm. Series Premiere.

Date My Ex: Jo & Slade (Bravo; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Monday Night Football; ESPN. 6 pm & 9:15 pm
Vikings vs. Packers in Game One and Oakland vs. Denver in Game Two.

And Prison Break (FOX; 8 pm) got back on track in a big way last week. Check it out.


Tuesday, 9/9

Fringe; FOX. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
FOX is backing this J.J. Abrams show big-time. I've read good things about this X-Files-type show with a family tie.

Privileged; CW. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
A series based on the How to Teach Filthy Rich Girls novel. I guess there's a Gilmore Girls vibe, but it sounds like Gossip Girl. But I haven't heard anything like the good buzz Gossip Girl had about this one.

Hole in the Wall; FOX. 8:35 pm. Series Premiere.
Another wacky Japanese imported gameshow. This one is like a human Tetris where contestants contort their bodies to fit through a moving hole in the wall. It then moves to its regular timeslot of 7 pm on Thursday this week.

Here's a glimpse at the Japanese show:

Somebodies; BET. 9:30 pm. Series Premiere.

Uninspired college kids prepare for life after school. It's a sitcom, and it's based on a movie from 2006. I have no idea about it beyond that.

Rachel Zoe Project; Bravo. 10 pm. Series Premiere.

I guess she's a celeb stylist, so, of course, that means she needs a reality show. Go Bravo!

Shameless (Sundance; 3 am). Season Finale.

Wednesday, 9/10

The Next GAC Star (GAC; 8 pm). Season Finale.

'Til Death; FOX. 8 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.

No, this show isn't very good. But it has added the awesome JB Smoove as a cast regular (and the Woodcocks are gone, except for a few eps that were filmed last year). Check it out. Smoove's Kenny moves in with Eddie and Joy. Seriously, Smoove is worth watching this show for.

Do Not Disturb; FOX. 8:30. Series Premiere.

A workplace comedy about hotel-staff members. There was some early buzz because of the casting of Niecy Nash, but comedy Kryptonite Jerry O'Connell also got cast. Haven't heard anything good about the show since then. It'll probably last a while because FOX has nothing else to put behind 'Til Death (of course, this show could also kill any hope Death has of getting renewed).

Inside the NFL; HBO. 8 pm. 32nd season premiere.

One of the biggest crimes of last year (HBO canceled the show) might get rectified with Showtime picking it up. An almost entirely new cast also comes with the new network. Cris Collinsworth is the lone member from the HBO show, and James Brown, Phil Simms, and Warren Sapp join up. I like Brown, but he's no Bob Costas. I'll give the show a try, but I'm still depressed about the change.

Thursday, 9/11

Comics Without Borders; Showtime. 9 pm. Series Premiere.

A new stand-up comedy series that features comedians of various ethnic backgrounds.

Friday, 9/12

WordGirl; PBS Kids. 8 am (check local listings). Season Premiere.

Gym Teacher: The Movie; Nick. 7 pm. Movie.

Normally, I wouldn't mention this, but TV Guide and Entertainment Weekly were both pretty high on this family-friendly comedy starring Christopher Meloni and Amy Sedaris.

Don't Forget the Lyrics; FOX. 8 pm. 2nd season premiere.

There's only been one season so far?

Saturday, 9/13

Mad TV; FOX. 10 pm. 14th season premiere.

Saturday Night Live; NBC. 10:29 pm. 34th season premiere.

Talkshow With Spike Feresten; FOX. 11 pm. 3rd season premiere.

Premieres and Notables; September 1-7, 2008

Monday, 9/1

Labor Day just doesn't mean what it used to. The networks are not taking a day off this year.

Sid the Science Kid; PBS. 12:30 pm CST (check local listings). Series Premiere.
An animated show for preschoolers; a boy uses science to understand the world.

Gossip Girl; The CW. 7 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.

One Tree Hill; The CW. 8 pm. Season Premiere.

The Middleman (ABC Family; 9 pm). Season finale.

Raising The Bar; TNT. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Stephen Bochco's new ensemble drama about New York attorneys-- and a feisty judge. It's got Mark-Paul Gosselaar with a bad hairdo, Jane Kaczmarek, and what looks to be Gloria Reuben (Damn TV Guide and Entertainment Weekly Fall Premiere issues aren't out yet, and I'm not scouring the web to find the rest of the cast).
And I don't like dissing a show right off the bat, but I've read tepid reviews about the show at best.

And the mother lode:
Prison Break; FOX. 7 pm CST. 4th Season Premiere.
My favorite show three years ago has slipped and slipped the last two seasons...
But they may have learned their lessons.
Now a government agency recruits Schofield to go after The Company, which prompts the season storyline about a prison break-in. And Sara is back (I swear I saw "the out" they could use-- that it wasn't Sara's head in the box-- long before it was announced).
And I've heard rumors that three characters bite the dust before the end of the first hour of the two hour premiere.


Tuesday, 9/2

The View; ABC. 10 am. 12th Season Premiere.
Isn't this the show where Sherri Stringfield claimed she wasn't sure the Earth was round?

90210; The CW. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
This sequel is getting a gigantic push.

Wanna Bet (ABC; 8 pm). Season Finale.

Comic View: One Mic Stand; BET. 9 pm & 9:30. Season Premiere.

The Shield; FX. 9 pm. 7th Season Premiere.
The show that made FX ends its run this year. I haven't gotten caught up with it (I've just seen the first two seasons so far), but I know this is must see TV right here.


Wednesday, 9/3

Bones; FOX. 7 pm. Season Premiere.

Top Design; Bravo. 9 pm. Season Premiere.

America's Next Top Model; The CW. 7 pm. Season Premiere.

Sons of Anarchy; FX. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
I'm still a little hazy on the details, but I think the crux of it is there's a biker gang that runs guns that's led by Ron Perelman. The gang wants out of that business. But the mother figure (Katey Sagal) won't let that happen.
FX is looking for this show to take over the bad-ass, envelope-pushing slot that The Shield will be vacating, so I expect violence, bad language, and general bad behavior.


Thursday, 9/4

Kitchen Nightmares; FOX. 7 pm. Season Premiere.

Gong Show With Dave Attell (Comedy Central; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Live From Abbey Road (Sundance; 9 pm). Season Finale (featuring Brian Wilson, Teddy Thompson, and Martha Wainwright).

Make sure your Fantasy lineups are set (I'm hoping like Hell my Fantasy draft is over by then)-- The Redskins play the Giants in the season opener.


Friday, 9/5

Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?; FOX. 7 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.

DogTown; National Geographic. 8 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.
This two-hour premiere looks at what happens to four of the dogs from Michael Vick's dogfighting ring. Sounds like a great story. Worth checking out.

Samurai Girl; ABC Family. 7 pm. 3-part mini-series.
Jamie Chung stars as the Japanese heiress from the teen novels in this series running the next three nights.

Swingtown (CBS; 9 pm). Season Finale. Hopeful or something? (I expect it to be series finale.)


Saturday, 9/6

Imagination Movers; Disney. 9 & 9:30 am. Series Premiere.
The preschooler-targeted rock band get their own show.

Cops; FOX. 7 pm. 21st Season Premiere.
Over two decades! Crazy.

America's Most Wanted; FOX. 8 pm. 22nd Season Premiere.
Ditto.

We Mean Business; A&E. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Struggling business owners get help from experts.

The Locator; WE. 8 & 8:30 pm. Series Premiere.
A show following Troy Dunn, who specializes in bringing people together with their long-lost loved ones.

John Edwards Cross Country; WE. 9 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.


Sunday, 9/7

Amazing Wedding Cakes; WE. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
I think the title explains it...

Hot Pursuit; Tru TV. 9 & 9:30 pm. 5th Season Premiere.

True Blood; HBO. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Six Feet Under's Alan Ball adapts Charlaine Harris' story about a telepathic woman who befriends a vampire. HBO is behind this show bigtime, and I've heard good things about it.

Entourage; HBO. 9 pm. 5th Season Premiere.
Vince & E's Medellin tanked at Cannes, so Vince and Turtle go into "hiding" while the gang tries to pull itself together.

Premieres and Notables; August 25-31, 2008

Just one more week until FOX kicks off the new TV season. I wonder who will try to jump the gun...

Monday, 8/25

Deal or No Deal; NBC. 7 pm CST. Season Premiere.
Since the show hasn't given away $1 million yet, they're having four of the million dollar winner briefcases in the premiere.

America's Toughest Jobs; NBC. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Thirteen contestants try their hand at oil drilling, Alaskan ice fishing, logging, and others for a grand prize that exceeds a quarter million dollars.

L.A. Hard Hats (National Geographic; 9 pm.) Series Finale.

And the Democratic National Convention begins tonight. There might be a little coverage from networks here and there.


Tuesday, 8/26

Greek; ABC Family. 8 pm. 2nd season premiere.
Guest-starring Charisma Carpenter.
I've heard the show is good, and Carpenter may actually be the thing I need to tune in.

Janice Dickenson Modeling Agency; Oxygen. 9 pm. 4th season premiere.
Didn't I have this show listed a couple of weeks ago?


Wednesday, 8/27

Shear Genius (Bravo; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Thursday, 8/28

Glam God With Vivica A. Fox; VH1. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
I usually don't mention VH1 shows, but I like Fox. I won't watch this reality contest show about finding a "new celeb stylist", but I will mention it.


Friday, 8/29

Queen Bees (The N; 7:30). Season Finale.

Grizzly Man Diaries; Animal Planet. 8 & 8:30 pm. 8-part documentary.
Taking footage shot by Timothy Treadwell, the man mauled to death by a bear as told in the great documentary Grizzly Man, this series looks at bear life in Alaska. Check it out.

Real Time With Bill Maher; HBO. 10 pm. Season premiere.
And all will be right with the world for the next 13 weeks... I don't agree with him 100%, but he definitely skews closer to my view of reality than most do.
And what great timing with the DNC this week. I wonder if he'll have something to say about it...


Sunday, 8/31

Robot Chicken; adult swim (what the Cartoon Network becomes at night). 10:30 pm. Season premiere.
Not always funny, but each ep is only 11 minutes long. It's worth a look.

Odd and Ends

Random thoughts since I just can't find the time to make a proper post:


Success breeds complacency: I won both Fantasy Football leagues I was in last year, and I realized last night at one of my league's drafts for this year that I'm getting lazy. I did no prep, got drunk, and then messed with my picks by taking 4 kickers (you're pretty much a jackass if you take your first kicker in anything but the last round, so four kickers is a bit of overkill).

I cared so little after round ten that I didn't even write my last eight picks in my roster sheet. It'll be like opening a Christmas present once the rosters get posted on our league site. I just hope I get a good surprise like a new TV and not a bad one like an ugly sweater.

But having four kickers was pretty funny. I kept insisting I picked them for "trade bait". (For you people not in the know, sometimes players load up on a position in the draft to force other players to make trades with you because you hogged all the good players.) Of course, with 32 kickers in the league, the "trade bait" excuse was just for laughs.

Not to brag or anything, but I still fully expect to finish in the top third of the league this year-- even if I did tank my draft.


Okay, enough about football and bragging about my Fantasy skillz. On to other things:

Check out the episode of Lawrence of America on Friday morning (Travel Channel, 8 am CST). I mentioned that I liked the show in a post a few weeks ago, and this episode about Nashville was the best of the bunch. Lawrence is very tongue-in-cheek on this show, so please understand he knows he's being ridiculous. It's not the best episode to see for the the first time, but it's too good to pass up.

I read somewhere that Amy Ryan will be in five episodes of The Office this season, which kicks ass. Her character in last season's finale was great, and I'm glad they got to keep her around a while longer.

I watched the first season of Battlestar Galactica. Damn. Good stuff.

Watched the first two seasons of The Wire. It's a different kind of show; it unfolds very slowly over 12-13 episodes, but it's extremely well-done-- and I heard it just gets better season by season.

Meghan from I Survived a Japanese Game Show took the #1 ranking of hottest woman on TV. Seriously, I had no other reason to waste a hour a week on the show other than to see her.

The Mole was pretty weak, which broke my heart as I loved the first few seasons.

Props to the people in the Big Brother house for not splitting over who is more Christian (and, thus, the "morally superior" alliance) and who's not. It's still a show I consider a guilty pleasure, but this season has been better than the last few.

I'm sorry to say Weeds just hasn't been great this year. I like Andy's storyline that has made him a coyote for Mexican illegals (becoming their version of Moses), but even the addition of Julie Bowen hasn't helped a weak status quo.

The Office and the Prison Break spin-offs have been shelved. Cool.

Speaking of Prison Break, I really hope this is the last season. I would hate to lose the great actors on the show (the show is pretty ridiculous, but you have to admit the actors are pretty damn good), but I would hate to see this show that had a fantastic first season continue to plummet in drama and suspense.

And if you haven't heard, Sara's back; rectifying one of last year's worst storyline decisions.

If you haven't seen Dark Knight yet, do so. It is amazing. All the hype is true. Ledger, Caine, Bale, Freeman, Oldman, Eckhart-- how can you not have a great movie? Add Nolan's direction, and it's a sure-thing. You owe it to yourself to see it. I had two quibbles with it, but it certainly didn't detract from my enjoyment of it.

For the first time in 25 years, I am pretty much completely out of the comic book scene. I had to stop buying them last summer, but I, at least, kept up with the news in the industry. But this summer, I slipped further and further away. It kinda bums me out, but it's also a relief to have the monkey off my back (the problem with being a comic book reader is it never stops-- every week is another comic or ten; every store has something you don't own). But I feel a loneliness without them. Maybe I'll get back into them when my kids grow up and move out...

And I guess the e-mail address I have to this blog had a problem, so anything I sent didn't actually send. I fixed the issue (I hope), so if you sent me something and wanted a response and never got one-- I'm sorry.

Okay, gotta go and load up on TV. I'm gonna be gone all weekend, and I need to get the Laurel and Hardy marathon (Saturday, 5 am on TCM) on the DVR. I usually am at 90% capacity on the DVR, so I have some TV to get through and delete.

Thank God for OnDemand. I can still catch the Penn & Teller's I haven't seen...

Premieres and Notables, August 18-24, 2008

Monday, 8/18

Into the Unknown with Josh Bernstein; Discovery. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Bernstein investigates historical mysteries. In the premiere, he digs into Noah's Ark.


Wednesday, 8/20

Architecture School; Sundance. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
A group of Tulane students design low-income homes in New Orleans.

Dinner: Impossible; Food. 8 pm. Season premiere.

Family Foreman (TV Land; 9 pm). Season premiere.


Thursday, 8/21

Bad Girls; Logo. 8 pm. 5th season premiere.

The Principal's Office; TruTV. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
TruTV and schools.

Jacked: Auto Theft Task Force; A&E. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
I know I've said this before, but it doesn't get old in this instance: A&E used to stand for "arts & entertainment". Not so much anymore.

Tabitha's Salon Makeover; Bravo. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Yet another freakin' reality show spin-off... Tabitha Coffey (from Shear Genius) gets her own show.

MVP (SOAPnet; 10 pm). Season finale.


Friday, 8/22

Discovery's Planet Project; Discovery. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Eight scientists use Al Gore's environment proposal to try to effect climate change.

Who Are You Wearing? TLC. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Designers compete to make an outfit for a guest judge.


Saturday, 8/23

Making It Home: Greensburg; TLC. 6 pm. Series Premiere.
Two Trading Spaces guys go to Greensburg to help them rebuild after a tornado.
I wonder if this is the same Greensburg featured on a show on Planet Green, where it followed their efforts to rebuild itself as a "green" city...

Live Through This: Duff McKagen; Fuse. 10 pm. Series Premiere.
The former G'n'R bassist opens up about his struggles with booze and heroin.


And I have waited all summer for this. This is the shiznit, and needs to be on your radar:

Turner Classic Movies (TCM) is running a 24-hour marathon of Laurel & Hardy shorts and movies. It had been easily 15 years since I've seen those two geniuses, but I've tried catching up since this Spring. I'll give the complete rundown, and I'll point out the ones I know to be must-sees. (I haven't seen most of them lately, and I do know the movies are usually a little weaker than the shorts-- those darn plots that get in the way of the mayhem when they run an hour or more).

Seriously: watch some of these, put a tape in, or set the DVR. There is great stuff here, and it's a complete shame that this could never play in today's entertainment environment-- even though the best ones hold up extremely well (aside from the less-sophisticated movie-making).

Night Owls; 5:00 am
Blotto; 5:25 am (Stan steals his wife's liquor and goes out on the town).
Brats; 5:55 am
Hog Wild; 6:20 am
Be Big; 6:45 am

Laughing Gravy; 7:15 am
Our Wife; 7:50 am
Pardon Us; 8:15 am
One Good Turn; 9:30 am
Beau Hunks; 9:55 am (Ollie gets dumped and talks Stan into joining the French Foreign Legion-- and then they try to get out of it.)

Helpmates; 10:35 am
Bonnie Scotland; 11:00 am
The Fixer Uppers; 12:25 pm
Them Thar Hills; 12:50 pm (I haven't seen it lately, but it is considered a classic.)
Tit For Tat; 1:15 pm

The Live Ghost; 1:40 pm (pretty good; the guys help a sea captain shanghai a crew for a haunted ship.
The Devil's Brother; 2:05 pm
Me and My Pal; 3:40 pm
Their First Mistake; 4:10 pm
Pack Up Your Troubles; 4:35 pm

Scram!; 5:45 pm
County Hospital; 6:10 pm. (A classic. Stan visits Ollie in the hospital, and they pack in a feature-length movie's amount of mayhem and destruction in just 19 minutes. Check out where Stan keeps his condiments. And it features my sons' favorite line, "Hard boiled eggs and nuts.")
The Chimp; 6:30 pm
****The Music Box; 7:00 pm. (A masterpiece. Absolutely brilliant in so many ways. The guys try to deliver a piano to a house located at the top of a hill. It's a half-hour long, and gets my highest recommendation. C'mon, people-- you can afford a half hour. It's worth it.)
Sons of the Desert; 7:35 pm. (One of their hour-long movies that are entertaining the entire time-- usually there is a non-Laurel&Hardy plot wedged into their full-length movies, but this is all Stan & Ollie. The two lie to their wives about taking a vacation, so they can go to a Lodge convention. It, of course, goes completely awry. Good stuff.)

Way Out West; 8:45 pm. (Another good one that's over an hour long. The two try to get a deed for a gold mine to the right person. Not as much slapstick, but they still get into their share of mishaps.)
Swiss Miss; 10:00 pm
Block-Heads; 11:15 pm (Ollie tries to help his old war buddy Stan-- who guarded a trench for 20 years before he realized the war was over. He brings Stan home, and, of course, things go very badly. There's a great scene where Ollie visits Stan at the VA Hospital and thinks he lost a leg in the war, so he carries the completely healthy Stan around.)
The Flying Deuces; 12:15 am (I haven't seen it lately, but I know it's a fan favorite.)
A Chump at Oxford; 1:25 am (Pretty good. There's a good scene where the two get lost in a maze, and some frat boys(?) mess with them.)

Saps at Sea; 2:30 am (The two get stuck on a boat with a killer. But they have a secret weapon: a trombone. Stan's hysterics as he tries to play the trombone under pressure is good stuff.)
Air Raid Wardens; 3:30 am


Sunday, 8/24

Z Rock; IFC. 10:30 pm. Series Premiere.
A sitcom about three Brooklyn rockers who can be themselves as the band Z02 at night-- and then have to be kid rockers Z Brothers during the day to pay the bills.

The N's Student Body (The N; 7 pm). Season Finale.
Generation Kill (HBO; 8 pm). Series Finale.
Law & Order: Criminal Intent (USA; 8 pm). Season Finale.

Premieres and Notables; August 11-17, 2008

A light week because of the Olympics, I'll bet.

Monday, 8/11

Sesame Street; PBS. 8 am CST (check local listings). 39th season premiere.
Read the end of the above line. Un-bee-leevable!

The Mole (ABC; 9 pm CST). Season (series?) finale.


Tuesday, 8/12

Primetime: Medical Mysteries; ABC. 9 pm. Season premiere.


Thursday, 8/14

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List (Bravo; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Friday, 8/15

Degrassi: The Next Generation (The N; 7 pm). Season Finale.

The Truth With Jeff Johnson; BET. 10 pm. Series Premiere.
Half-hour talk show, focusing on issues important to African Americans.


Saturday, 8/16

The Dish; Style. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Danielle Fishel hosts a The Soup-type show that skewers fashion. I'm in.


Sunday, 8/17

In Plain Sight (USA; 9 pm). Season Finale.

The Two Coreys (A&E; 9 pm). Season Finale.

And Chris Noth hangs up his detective Mike Logan suit after almost 20 years (with a break) on Law & Order: Criminal Intent (USA; 8 pm).

Premieres and Notables; August 4-10, 2008

Monday, 8/4

American Gladiators (NBC; 7 pm). Season Finale.


Tuesday, 8/5

I Survived a Japanese Game Show (ABC; 8:01 CST). Season Finale.

Flipping Out (Bravo; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Smash Lab; Discovery. 9 pm. Season Premiere.

Million Dollar Listing; Bravo. 10 pm. Season Premiere.


Wednesday, 8/6

Mythbusters; Discovery. 8 pm. 7th Season Premiere.
I haven't seen much of this show. I have liked what I've seen, though. Tonight, they're seeing if one can tenderize meat using explosives. I haven't heard that myth before, but it sounds fun.

Taboo; NGC. 8 pm. Season Premiere.

Hard Knocks: Training Camp With the Dallas Cowboys; HBO. 9 pm. Season Premiere.
Last season's camp with the Chiefs was interesting and mildly exciting. I expect no less this year. Remember, people, this is HBO Sports-- it's bound to have some good stuff.

Man Vs. Wild; Discovery. 9 pm. Season Premiere.

Black Gold (Tru TV; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Thursday, 8/7

Last Comic Standing (NBC; 7 pm). Season Finale.
I'm pretty sure this time, it is the finale...

So You Think You Can Dance (FOX; 7 pm). Season Finale.

My Boys (TBS; 9 pm). Season Finale. Gone so soon...


Friday, 8/8

The 2008 Summer Olympics begin with NBC's coverage of the Opening Ceremonies (7 pm). Then for the next couple of weeks, NBC's family of networks (NBC, CNBC, MSNBC, USA, Oxygen, and Telmundo), some new cable and satellite channels created just for the Games, and live streaming video on nbcolympics.com will combine for 3600 hours of Olympics coverage. If that number wasn't huge enough, think of this: that's more coverage than all the other games since the first broadcasts on 1960 combined.


Saturday, 8/9

Primeval; BBC America. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Time anomalies and dinosaurs mix as a zoologist tries to link his wife's disappearance to the appearance of a dinosaur.
{Geez-- sounds like a no-brainer. Did anyone check the dino's stomach?}


Sunday, 8/10

The Inspector Lynley Mysteries; PBS. 8 pm (check local listings). Season Premiere.

PSAs You May Not Have Seen

Our friends at the Middleman TV show (ABC Family; Mondays at 9 pm CST) have taken the time to warn us about such things as vampire cows, probes, the dangers of copying, and others.

Check out this link to the vampire cows PSA, and then click on the others (they're all less than 30 seconds).

http://abcfamily.go.com/abcfamily/path/section_Shows+Middleman/page_Video-Middleman_PSA4

Then check out the show. It's low budget, but it has fun with that. After watching a few in a row, I appreciate that there is quite a lot of heart in this little show about two people who are "consultants" to things that can't be explained.

Premieres and Notables; July 28-August 3, 2008

Monday, 7/28

Paranormal State; A&E. 9 pm CST. 2nd season premiere.

Elvis has his work cut out for him as he tries to get Quentin Tarantino to open up about about the movie industry on Elvis Mitchel: Under the Influence (TCM; 7 pm CST).
{I don't understand why shows still book the tight-lipped writer/director...}


Tuesday, 7/29

I normally wouldn't even mention that this turd was having its season finale tonight, but TV Guide's blurb about this episode of Celebrity Family Feud (CBS, 7 pm) said that the American Chopper (Teutul) clan had never seen the show before, so they "had to explain the concept several times." Where the f-bomb do these people live that they've never seen an episode of this game show in thirty-some years?
I haven't watched the show in twenty years, but I bet I could play on a moment's notice...

Jurassic Fight Club; History. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
I don't know what it's about because, you know, the first rule of Jurassic Fight Club is...
{Yes, it was a corny/stupid joke, but I had to go there. It's mandatory with a set-up like that.}

Eureka; Sci Fi. 8 pm. 3rd season premiere.
Yet another show I have on tape, just waiting to be watched. I've heard good things. It's low budget, but it's supposed to be just funny/silly enough to get away with it.

It's Not Easy Being Green; Sundance. 8 pm. Season premiere.


Wednesday, 7/30

Lewis Black's Root of All Evil; Comedy Central. 9:30 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.

Baby Borrowers (NBC; 8 pm). Season finale.


Thursday, 7/31

Hopkins (ABC; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Friday, 8/1

Dr Who (Sci Fi; 7:30 pm). Season finale. It's old friends galore as Donna, Martha, Rose, Sarah Jane, and Captain Jack all return to help out the Doc.


Saturday, 8/2

Long Way Down; FOX Reality. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
For those of you who liked 2004's Long Way Round (where buddies Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman rode motorbikes across Asia and America)-- or even if you didn't see it-- this "sequel" finds them riding 15,000 miles from Scotland to South Africa.

Robin Hood (BBC America; 8 pm). Season finale.


Sunday, 8/3

Summer Showdown; HGTV. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
A reality show with two competitors who need to makeover some rooms.
Novel concept!

Wedding Central; WE. 10 pm. 2nd season premiere.

Design Star (HGTV; 8 pm). Season Finale.

Battleground Earth; Planet Green. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Tommy Lee and Ludacris compete to see who can be "greener". Lee is pretty funny, so it should be entertaining, and if it's anything like Alter Eco, it should also be informative. I've kinda felt like being more "green" this summer (and have done small things to accomplish it), so I'll be checking this show out.

L.A. Hard Hats; NGC (National Geographic?). 8 pm. Series Premiere.
The Deadliest Catch crew follow the construction workers who are building an eco-friendly high-rise in La-la Land.

Pam: Girl on the Loose; E!. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Another f-bombing reality show about someone who needs to be in the spotlight so much, they'll have cameras follow them around everywhere. This one is on Pam Anderson.
{If there's any good that will come from this show, it's that Chelsea Lately and The Soup are both to be sure to rail on it. BTW: both shows are great. I f-bombing HATE E! and it's moronic programming, but I love that the network does allow those two shows to rip them to shreds...}

Sunset Tan; E!. 9:30. Season Premiere.
And speaking of E!'s moronic programming...

Premieres and Notables, July 21-27, 2008

Monday, 7/21

Wanna Bet?; ABC. 8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
British TV comics Anthony "Ant" McPartlin and Declan "Dec" Donnelly host this show which sees celebs such as Drew Lachey, George Wendt, Tom Green, and Jerry Rice place wagers to see if people can perform outrageous stunts.

Catch 21; GSN. 6:30. Series Premiere.
A blackjack game show.

Date My Ex: Jo and Slade; Bravo. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
I guess these two were once a couple on the Real Housewives of Orange County, and now they're broken up. But in order to stay in the public eye {okay, that's my take on it}, Slade agrees to live in a house with suitors for Jo, and help her pick the right man for her.
...At least until Season Two.
{Bravo-- how far can you fall?}

Extreme Forensics; ID (sorry, no idea what channel that is). 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
A look at real forensic scientists.
{I wonder if they, too, can solve a crime in an hour.}

Take Home Nanny; TLC. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Just what the world needs: another nanny show.


Tuesday, 7/22

Highway 18; Golf. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Golfers travel the state of Florida in a golf marathon across the links.

General Hospital: Night Shift; SoapNet. 10 pm. 2nd season premiere.
Antonio Sapato Jr. returns to Port Charles.

Road Tested With the Neelys; Food. 8:30 pm. Series Premiere.
Pat and Gina Neely travel the country to find the best local food. The premiere has whiskey s'mores, found in Minneapolis, MN.

How to Look Good Naked; Lifetime. 9 pm. 2nd season premiere.


Wednesday, 7/23

Sordid Lives: The Series; LOGO. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
A series based on a 1999 film starring Olivia Newton (who also stars in the series).

Chris Angel: Mindfreak; A&E. 9 pm. 4th season premiere.


Sunday, 7/27

Jingles; CBS. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Contestants write and perform jingles for various products.
{I smell a Survivor-level amount of product placements...}

Mad Men; AMC. 9 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.
The critical (and now Emmy) darling is back. Yet another in an ever-growing numbers of shows I've taped but haven't watched-- but I really want to. I haven't heard a bad thing about it.

Tim and Eric's Awesome Show, Great Job!; [adult swim]. 11:30 pm. 3rd season premiere.
I just don't get it. Some mildly amusing stuff, but some people worship this program. It's worth checking out as it's only 15 minutes long.

And "Shark Week" begins today on the Discovery Channel.

Summer Surprises

Gonna just do a "off the top of my head" list of things I'm really digging this summer:

Middleman; Monday, 7 pm CST, ABC Family. This show wasn't on my radar at all, but I heard a few good things right before it debuted, so I checked it out. Low budget cool. Funny, a bit silly, and an all-around good time. Check it out.

Wipeout; Tuesday, 7 pm CST, ABC. There is nothing about this show I'd like enough to watch more than once, but my six-year-old loves it. The fact that he and I can laugh at these people getting brutalized on those stupid obstacle courses makes it worth "wasting" an hour on something I wouldn't come near normally. It's a sad comment on the state of TV and entertainment in general that my kids and I can't watch TV together, for the most part. This show is safe enough. Any risque jokes go way over his head. And what guy isn't going to like the fact that he can say "big balls" during the show without it meaning anything other than the Big Balls area of the course?

I checked out Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog at drhorrible.com, and it's another low budget, fun project. Ep One went online yesterday (and completely crashed their server; which is not fixed), Ep Two is due tomorrow, and Ep Three goes up on Saturday. All three are free to stream until Sunday. You can also download each ep (or the entire 3 ep season) on iTunes (where it immediately became the #1 download yesterday). It start Neil Patrick Harris as a mad scientist/villain wannabe.

Finally, I was checking out G4 TV's coverage of E3, and I realized that I had forgotten that I love Morgan Webb. I don't know how I could forget such a thing, and go more than a year without watching the channel, but I remember now: I love Morgan Webb. Better put XPlay on the DVR "to record" list, so I don't chance forgetting that again...

Premieres and Notables; July 14-20, 2008

Monday, 7/14

Emeril Green; Planet Green. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Emeril Lagasse teaches people how to use the most healthful ingredients in his new cooking show.

Top Gear; BBC America. 7 pm. Season Premiere.

The Closer; TNT. 8 pm CST. 4th season premiere.

Saving Grace; TNT. 9 pm CST. 2nd season premiere.


Tuesday, 7/15

The Cleaner; A&E. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Benjamin Bratt stars as a recovering addict who leads an "extreme interventionist" team who get addicts treatment.

Say Yes to the Dress; TLC. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Life at a New York City bridal shop. I am so setting my DVR for this...
{Sarcasm just doesn't translate well on a blog, does it?}

Hurl!; G4. 8:00. Series Premiere.
A gameshow where people who eat the most and puke the least are rewarded.


Wednesday, 7/16

Dog the Bounty Hunter; A&E. 8 pm. Season Premiere.

Project Runway; Bravo. 8 pm. 5th season premiere.
This last season on Bravo has already stirred up fans. All I have to say is chill out; it's a freakin' reality show.

Family Foreman; TV Land. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
A look at the life at the George Foreman house. I expect fun times when the phone rings, and the caller asks to speak to "George", 'cause, you know, there are six George's in the family...

Celebrity Circus (NBC; 9 pm) Season premiere. {It was still airing?}


Thursday, 7/17

The Gong Show With Dave Attell; Comedy Central. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Uhhhhh...

Wrecked; Speed. 9 & 9:30. Series Premiere.
A look at the dangerous work of Chicago tow truck drivers.
What Horse of the Apocalypse am I up to now? Third, fourth? Fifth? Whatever; I'm sure this is one of them.

Last Comic Standing (NBC, 7 pm) did not have its season finale last week. Sorry, but I get my info from other, apparently not 100% accurate, sources.

Reality Bites Back; Comedy Central. 9:30. Series Premiere.
A reality spoof hosted by Michael Ian Black. I'm sure it'll be pretty bad, but I gotta watch because of MIB.


Friday, 7/18

Monk; USA. 8 pm. 7th season premiere.
Monk's back-- with new therapist Hector Elizondo.

Psych; USA. 9 pm. 3rd season premiere.


Sunday, 7/20

Shameless; Sundance. 8 pm. Season Premiere.

The Stagers; HGTV. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Let's take a guess. Does this show have anything to do with trying to sell a house?
Ding ding ding!
It sure does.

High School Musical: Get in the Picture; ABC. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
C'mon, like Disney wasn't going to milk the Hell out of this franchise...
This reality competition is for the starring role of a music video that will run after the High School Musical 3 film in October. Yes, that's right: this entire show is for a f-bombing music video.
Squeeze, Mickey, squeeeeeze.

Premieres and Notables; July 7-13, 2008

Monday, 7/7

Emeril Live!; Fine Living. 6 pm. Network change.

TCM Presents Elvis Mitchell: Under the Influence; TCM. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
And longest title goes to...
Okay, I'm looking forward to this. I don't follow Mitchell's work very much, but I have liked what I've seen. And the dude's got kick-ass hair.
He's also got one of Sydney Pollock's last interviews in this episode.

How'd That Get on My Plate?; Food. 8:30. Series Premiere.
Sunny Anderson looks at how things get from one place to another in the food world. First up: how honey gets from Hawaiian bee farms to cream soda.


Tuesday, 7/8

30 Days (FX; 9:05 pm). Season finale. Morgan said this 30 day episode living with the Navajoes was the one that has affected him the most.

Not Going Out; BBC America. 7:40 pm. 2nd season premiere.
Out is the American roommate and in is the U.K. Office's Sally Bretton (who played Donna the Intern). The show is medium-level quality for me, but it's the summer, and comedies are rare. It's worth watching.

AFI Life Achievement Award; USA. 8 pm. Special.
Are these only yearly? I swear I just typed the above not too long ago.
Anyway, Warren Beatty gets the award this time.

Hell's Kitchen (FOX; 7 pm). Season finale.


Wednesday, 7/9

Click and Clack's As the Wrench Turns; PBS. 7 pm. Season Premiere.

Scare Tactics; Sci Fi. 9 & 9:30 pm CST. Season Premiere.
New host: Tracy Morgan.
WTF........?

Koppel: The People's Republic of Capitalism; Discovery. 9 pm. 4-part series.
Ted Koppel looks at the changing culture in China.

Martin Lawrence Presents 1st Amendment Standup; Starz. 9 pm. 3rd season premiere.


Thursday, 7/10

Greatest American Dog; CBS. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Twelve people and their dogs live together and vote each other out one by one. Uhmmm... Is Big Brother really the show they should be emulating?

Burn Notice; USA. 9 pm. 2nd season premiere.
Yet another show "on my list to watch", but I've heard it's really good. Check it out.
And: it's got Bruce Campbell. Everybody loves Bruce Campbell.
And2: it's also going to have Battlestar Galactica's Tricia Helfer for parts of the season.

Reno 911 (Comedy Central; 9:30). Season finale.

Last Comic Standing (NBC; 7 pm). Season finale. For real? I've three eps behind, but I haven't even seen the real competition yet. Weeks and weeks of barely humorous auditions, a few weeks of the competition, and then done?


Friday, 7/11

Queen Bees; The N. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Seven selfish girls live together, and, hopefully, will grow up a little bit after the experience. If this was MTV or CBS, I'd say "fat chance", but maybe because this show airs on The N, we may actually see progress.

Ashley Paige: Bikini or Bust; TLC. 9 & 9:30. Series Premiere.
Apparently Paige is a swimsuit designer, and this show follows her efforts to run her own business. I don't care, I just think the title of the show is stupidly funny.

The N's Student Body; The N. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Laila Ali gives tough love and warm advice while motivating a dozen overweight teens to get fit.

Flashpoint; CBS. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
An elite team of police make the world safer. Stars Enrico Colantoni, Hugh Dillon, and Amy Jo Johnson. Looks like it may be okay. Don't know what to make of the Friday night timeslot, though...

Stargate Atlantis; Sci Fi. 9 pm. 5th season premiere.


Saturday, 7/12

I Want That! Kitchens; Fine Living. 8 am. Season Premiere.

Zula Patrol; NBC. 9:30 am. Season Premiere.


Sunday, 7/13

Big Brother 10; CBS. 7 pm. 10th season premiere.
This is usually my one big summer guilty pleasure, but this year I am not excited for it at all. Could be because we just had a Winter edition of the show, or it could be because the last two seasons were boring as Hell. Sell me on this, CBS, or it'll probably be the last summer I waste three hours of my week watching. And for those of you wondering: yes, there's a bound to be stupid "twist" as usual. CBS just isn't letting the cat out the bag yet (which lowers my expectations even more).

Earth: The Biography; National Geographic. 8 & 9 pm. 5-part series.
A look at how amazing nature can be. First up: volcanoes.

Generation Kill; 8 pm. HBO. 7-part Series Premiere.
The Wire creators' new series about an elite Marine team's missions in the early stages of the Iraq War. This will be a good show. Check it out. The review I read said it starts out slow, but by the second hour, it gets really good.

Teameck's Top Ten of the 2007-2008 TV Season (R-Z)

Now the second half of my list of top ten shows I watched this past year (in alphabetical order).

Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel; HBO. What every sports news show should aspire to be. The team of reporters are all at the head of their class, and they dig deeply into a story; most of which you’d never hear of outside of this venue. The pure range of stories is amazing, and within a single hour, it can bring you to any number of emotional responses. Just this last year, I got to see the former circus ringleader of FOX Sunday football coverage, James Brown, have a very touching discussion with a severely disabled little girl who explains her equine therapy. Or the difficulties the soccer team plane-crash survivors, who were stranded on a mountaintop and had to resort to cannibalism, had when they returned back to civilization. Or the heartbreaking story of former NFL players in their 40s and 50s who have brain deterioration found in the average 80 year old due to countless head injuries—or just injuries in general. When you see Conrad Dobler, one of the fiercest men who ever stepped on the field, using a cane to walk—due to extremely swollen knees which have had a half-dozen surgeries in the past couple of years—say he’d take his own life if he could, it’s chilling. And then it can bring tears to your eyes when they spotlight a five-year-old boy who watched Tiger Woods on TV and somehow picked up the perfect golf swing. Just an amazing story about an amazing kid that warms the heart. And then they hit you with the fact that he had cancer in his eye and nearly died twice. Now he has a glass eye—and the kid just lives life and still golfs with a swing that others would pay unlimited money to have.


Reaper; CW. There are a handful of shows that could be on this list instead, but I think Reaper has lots of untapped potential that needs an audience, so it can grow. Bret Harrison is one of the best young comedic actors out there right now, and even though this is a drama, his humor makes Sam more believable and relatable. Tyler Labine gets the best lines, and uses them masterfully. Rick Gonzalez is finally getting something more to do than just being the pensive one of the group. And you can’t mention acting on this show without mentioning Ray Wise’s Devil, who is spot-on (as “spot on” as one can be to a character that has many interpretations).

The show floundered about a bit at first, but then it had an inspired storyline about demons banding together to overthrow the Devil. This is the type of mythology a genre show needs to survive. I think it’ll be great—even if they killed off Michael Ian Black’s demon in the process.


Slings and Arrows; Sundance. Quite a bit was packed into this six episode season. Geoffrey prepares a production of King Lear and hires a major star to lead it. The problem is said star knows this is his last production, and he wants everyone’s “A” game; and he doesn’t care that most of the others have nowhere near his experience. Oh yeah, the star also is dying of cancer and shoots up heroin to keep going. Geoffrey’s inability to control the star causes a rift between he and Ellen, and his dead friend Oliver is haunting him more and more. Richard makes some adjustments to the concurrently running musical and finds himself finally doing some creative work, which comes at the expense of his financial work that needs to be done. And it wouldn’t be S&A without a young love storyline.

It was a bittersweet season as the series came to a close, but it ended well. Sadness mixing with happiness. Just like life.


This American Life; Showtime. I got on this train a little late, but I was instantly attracted to it. This NPR show transplant works just fine on television. Each episode has a theme, and 2-3 stories that fit into that theme. The thing is: usually these stories are very “small”, but the show makes them vastly interesting. It’s not exciting, it’s just stories about American lives done very well.


Weeds; Showtime. Season Three got a little loopy, but it held together. After two seasons of Nancy's new career being explored, the stakes got higher when she got involved with big time dealers and really started to move her own strain of pot ("MILF Weed"). And then things came crashing down. The season finale was one of the most series changing episodes I've ever seen. Things would not be the way they were-- ever again.

Teameck's Top Ten of the 2007-2008 TV Season (A-P)

And, finally, my list of top ten shows I watched this past year, starting with the first five (listed alphabetically).


Aliens in America; CW. It’s a crime this show didn’t attract more viewers. An overly worried mom wants her unpopular son, Justin, to have a handsome and popular best friend, so she signs up her family to host an exchange student. Unfortunately for her plan, the exchange student is from Pakistan (he’s mistaken for a terrorist a lot and dresses differently than most of the rest of the world). But what started out as disappointment ends up being a learning experience for everyone. And while Justin didn’t get more popular, he did have a few adventures he wouldn’t have had, and Rajah helped him out of.

The humor was edgy at times (like when bullies accused Justin of being gay because he wasn’t attracted to his hot sister), but the crux of the show was heart. Rajah became a member of the family, and had to experience the good and the bad of it.


How I Met Your Mother; CBS. Repeats as my favorite network comedy (only [adult swim’s] Frisky Dingo comes close) for the second straight year. This season just got better. First we saw Ted & Robin deal with their breakup as well as their attempts to move on. We saw Marshall and Lily deal with the problems at their dream place. Barney took Ted on a whirlwind spree of serial dating/getting laid and then hooked up with Robin himself. Ted fell in love with a new woman; one who just might be the titular mother.

I don’t know why this show isn’t more popular. The cast is great, the writing is amazing. It has a progression to the storylines like the best episodes of Friends had, and it could add to the classic television lexicon much the same way that Seinfeld did. Each episode stands on its own, yet each episode also carries the thrust of the series a step further. And, waiting in the wings, is the mother we are supposed to meet by the conclusion of the series. I just love that this show has a map of where it’s been and where it’s going. Part of the fun is when someone refers back to an episode months or years in the past, and you say to yourself “I remember that”. And there’s the occasional referral to something that will happen in the future that makes you say, “Oh yeah, ‘Old Ted’ said that was going to happen."


It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia; FX. Bring Seinfeld into basic cable and make it a one-camera show, and you’re just hitting the tip of the iceberg of this show. These five characters are about as self-involved as you can get, and will stab anyone in the back to get what they want. But as repulsive as they are as people, they sure can make me laugh. It helps that they always get what’s coming to them by the end of the episode.


The New Adventures of Old Christine; CBS. I was a bit surprised to see this one make the cut, but I had to remind myself what I told a friend of mine during this latest season—this show makes me laugh harder than most any I can remember. I mean, really laugh out loud laughs, not the chuckles most other great comedies get out of me. The show has really grown the past few years, and this season was very tight. The focus is now-- finally-- solely on Christine, and they’re not trying to force New Christine, the ex, or the son into every episode. It has strengthened the entire show by making the supporting characters actually support Old Christine instead of being a focus themselves. And they’ve gotten funnier as a result.

The biggest credit needs to be put on Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who I’ll go on a limb and say is the funniest female in a comedy. I know Tina Fey is the “hot” one to praise, but Louis-Dreyfus has more range right now (yes, much of that is how the character is written, but she can take even the most humiliating of situations, and make them funnier than many others could).


Phineas and Ferb; Disney. Every once in a while, a show “made for kids” just blows me away. This one is definitely made for kids, but there is a maturity and sophistication to it that an adult like me can love. The premise is very simple: two boys decide not to sit around during summer vacation, so they make these gigantic plans every single day in order to live life to the fullest. Disregard the fact that they must be super-geniuses—and super-rich—to even accomplish these ideas; just bask in the idea that every single day should be one of adventure and learning.

The zealousness of the main characters and funny “throw away” lines by everyone make this an infectious show, but take one step back and see how each episode is constructed, and the show becomes that much more fun and sophisticated. I’ll say 90% of each episode contains the following: Phineas and Ferb come up with an idea. Their sister Candace finds out about it, and tells their mom. Mom doesn’t believe her. Phineas asks, “Where’s Perry?” Their pet Perry the Platypus sneaks off to get his orders from Major Monogram. Monogram tells Perry what Dr. Doofenshmirtz has planned, and sends Perry to stop him. P&F continue to work on the day’s project, and someone they have to get materials from asks, “Aren’t you a little young to be doing [whatever they’re doing]?”, and Phineas responds with, “Yes. Yes I am.” Isabella, the cute neighbor girl with a crush on Phineas arrives and asks, “Whatcha dooooin’?” and Phineas answers, and oftentimes drags her into the plan. Candice gets a step closer to “busting” them but mom still doesn’t believe her. Perry breaks into Doofenshmitrtz’s lair and Dr. D. captures him. Dr. D. does something stupid, and Perry escapes, and turns the tables on Dr. D. Dr. D.’s plans fall apart just as Phineas and Ferb finish their adventure for the day, which is just when Candice convinces her mom to see what the boys are doing. And somehow, Perry and Dr. Doofenshmirtz destroy whatever the boys had created just seconds before their mom shows up.

And every episode also contains at least one short, original song in the spirit of the episode.

And what’s even more amazing—every episode feels different. It follows a formula, but it’s always presented in a different way.