Premieres and Notables; January 12-17, 2009

One of the biggest weeks of the year. So much for that break we've had the past few weeks when Holiday specials and repeats littered the airwaves.


Monday, 1/12

Kyle XY; ABC Family. 8 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.


Tuesday, 1/13

American Idol; FOX. 7 pm. 8th Season Premiere.
And the entire TV landscape changes again as FOX shows get drawn in-- and other networks just try to stay out of the way...
As for people like me who don't watch the show, we "get" to hear way way way more about this thing than we want to.
And for those of you who do watch, get ready for hours and hours of pure shit auditions until they actually get to the contest next month.

Chopped; Food. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Ted Allen hosts this new cooking competition.


Wednesday, 1/14

Make 'Em Laugh: The Funny Business of America; PBS. 7 pm (check local listings). Mini-series.
A 3-night look at the funniest Americans in the biz, hosted by Billy Crystal. The first installment looks at comic outsiders such as Harold Lloyd, Bob Hope, and Steve Martin.
I've heard good things about this series. Might be worth checking out.


Thursday, 1/15

The week's new Smallville (CW; 7 pm) is huge for a number of reasons. First, Clark is visited by three teens from the future. Teens who call themselves the Legion of SuperHeroes. This is geekgasm stuff here, people. Second, they're followed by future villain The Persuader. Third, the costumes these people wear are loyal to the comics-- but not silly-looking. And fourth, and most importantly, this episode was written by DC Comic writer Geoff Johns. Johns is who I would credit as being the most exciting writer in the super-tights business right now. He has a great respect for the past, but can tell stories in a very contemporary fashion. This is an episode worth checking out.

On CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS, 8 pm), William Petersen (Grissom) says goodbye as a series regular.

The Beast; A&E. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Patrick Swayze stars as an FBI agent who gets a rookie partner.
That's all I've got, people...


Friday, 1/16

Battlestar Galactica; Sci Fi. 9 pm. Season 4.5 (final) Premiere.
The final 10 episodes of the series begin tonight. Lots of wrapping up to do, beginning with the reveal of who is the 12th Cylon (which will happen in an early episode). Other things dealt with: Adama takes up drinking to deal with Tigh, Lee steps in to cover for Bill, and Kara must face the fact that she may be the ruin of humanity.

I devoured Seasons 2.0, 2.5, and 3 in a matter of two months, and will be getting to Season 4.0 in a couple of weeks, so I'm looking forward to catching up with everyone else by the end.
This is amazing television, folks. One of the most human shows on the air. The robots, spaceships, and other sci fi stuff is just background to the real things going on around it. Highly Recommended.


Saturday, 1/17

Solitary 3.0; FOX Reality. 8 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.


Sunday, 1/18

Big Love; HBO. 8 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.
Not as "yucky" as the premise would lead you to believe. This is a great family drama without all the mopiness of something like Brothers and Sisters. Season One was a fantastic look at the trials of a husband and father-- just multiplied by three. Season Two was more into the plot of avoiding the "camp" Bill and one of his wives came from, and was a bit of a disappointment to me. Sounds like they might be getting back to the family more this season. Recommended.

The L Word; Showtime. 8 pm. 6th (and final) Season Premiere.

Flight of the Conchords; HBO. 9 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.
I didn't catch all the episodes last season, but I saw was pretty good. Check it out.

The United States of Tara; Showtime. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Toni Collette stars in this Diablo Cody (Juno)-created series about a woman with three personalities.
I've heard good things, but I haven't checked out the premiere yet, so I'll just give a check it out.

Secret Diary of a Call Girl; Showtime. 9:30. 2nd Season Premiere.
Belle gets a protegee-- and falls in love.

Apple Revolutionizes Computing-- Again

Brilliant parody. Listen to every word...

Men Vs Women

Premieres and Notables; January 5-11, 2009

Lots and lots coming up, and not much time, so it'll be a quickie...

Monday, 1/5

Antiques Roadshow; PBS. 7 pm. 13th Season Premiere.

The Bachelor; ABC. 7 pm. Season Premiere.
Featuring the first single-dad bachelor. BFD.

DietTribe; Lifetime. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
A bride-to-be and four of her friends look to lose 30 lbs each before the big day.

True Beauty; ABC. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
A beauty contest where the contestants don't know that inner beauty also counts in it.


Tuesday, 1/6

Homeland Security USA; ABC. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Reality show featuring the Homeland officers.

The Biggest Loser: Couples; NBC. 7 pm. Season Premiere.

Scrubs; ABC. 8 & 8:30 pm. 8th Season Premiere.
NBC doesn't have this show to kick around anymore. ABC picked it for this 8th-- and final (for this cast anyway)-- season. Just wish ABC could have found a more compatible lead-in.

Nip/Tuck; FX. 9 pm. 5th Season Premiere.


Wednesday, 1/7

13-Fear is Real; CW. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
13 people tackle horrific challenges in a house in the woods. And-- big surprise-- the winner gets $66,666. Spoooooky...

Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns; TBS. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Leroy Brown opens a retirement home. I don't know what that means, but the Cult of Perry probably does.

Damages; FX. 9 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.
Glenn Close, Ted Danson, Marcia Gay Harden, William Hurt, Timothy Olyphant...
Do you really need any more reasons?


Thursday, 1/8

Greg Behrendt's Wake-Up Call; SOAPnet. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Just because I love the Entertainment Weekly write-up: "Couples get relationship advice from a guy whose show was initially meant for ABC but got dumped to SOAPnet. I guess ABC just wasn't that into him."


Friday, 1/9

Howie Do It; NBC. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Howie Mandel pranks people in this hidden camera series. Yawn.

Stargate Atlantis (Sci Fi; 8 pm). Series Finale.

Flashpoint; CBS. 8 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.
The summer show that got renewed for the regular season that has to come every few years.

Comedy Central Presents; Comedy Central. 9 pm. 13th Season Premiere.


Saturday, 1/10

The Graham Norton Show (BBC America; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Sunday, 1/11

24; FOX. 7 pm. 6th Season Premiere.
18 months after Season 5 ended, the show returns.

Tool Academy; VH1. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
I know I vowed to never mention a VH1 show in this blog, but you just have to love this title. Anyway, the show is about nine guys who are "tools" to their girlfriends, so they get sent to a relationship school to try to get straightened out.

Premieres and Notables; December 29, 2008- January 4, 2009

Monday, 12/29

Ron Howard: 50 Years in Film; TCM. 7 pm. Special.
TCM (which knows good movies-- and doesn't do tabloid crap) spends 90 minutes talking to Howard about his work.


Tuesday, 12/30

The 31st Annual Kennedy Center Honors; CBS. 8 pm. Special.
Recipients are: Barbra Streisand, Morgan Freeman, George Jones, Twyla Tharp, Pete Townshend, and Roger Daltrey.


Thursday, 1/1

Dear Genevieve; HGTV. 12 noon. Series Premiere.
Genevieve Gorder gets a new show. I think it has something to do with room/house makeovers.
Just 237 more makeover shows, and everyone's house will be perfect...

NBC reairs last season's finale of The Office, which introduced Amy Ryan's HR rep, who is told Kevin is "special" (and. amazingly, Kevin acts no different this ep than others; he's just looked at differently).


Sunday, 1/4

Superstars of Dance; NBC. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Now that Sunday Night Football is over, NBC decided to steal a little of FOX's American Idol and ABC's Dancing With the Stars to make yet another dance reality competition show.

Masterpiece Classic; PBS. 8 pm (check local listings). Season Premiere.
The newest season begins with Tess of the D'Ubervilles this week and next.

Sex Ed For a New Generation

I hope this works better here than it did on YouTube (don't know if it's my crappy computer or a crappy file). It's amusing.

It's Not Too Late...

...To get the best toy of the year.




What are you waiting for?
Get to your local department store!

Premieres and Notables; December 22-28; 2008

Before I get to the premieres, I just have to say bravo to TV Guide for finally putting a worthy cover out on the stands.

I used to think "pathetic" when I'd flip through the letters from fans gushing over the sexy cover boy (or sometimes girl) on some issue or another. But now I get it. This cover is great for three reasons:

1. How I Met Your Mother needs-- and deserves-- much more attention that it usually gets.

2. Neil Patrick Harris' Barney is the perfect "subject" for a cover like this.

3. Cobie Smulders and Alyson Hannigan are frakkin hot!

So let me say, publicly, "good job" to TV Guide right now.

--But that won't stop me from composing a "Why TV Guide sucks" post some time in the future...

Because it's been a long time coming.

BTW: Entertainment Weekly also has a pictorial of the entire cast of How I Met Your Mother reenacting some scenes from movies and life in 2008. Films include Indiana Jones and the Kingdom blah blah blah, Sex and the City, and then they also did a shot of the Men's Olympic swim team-- and the best: the guys of HIMYM as the Jonas Brothers.

Two major mags giving this show its props in the same week.

Hopefully things are looking up.

Okay, on to the premiere stuff:

Monday, 12/22

One of the best episodes of How I Met Your Mother ever airs tonight (CBS; 7:30 pm). The 2007 "Slapsgiving" celebration finds Marshall terrorizing Barney over a slap that is owed him. After many bluffs, Marshall finally does the deed. And then does something hilarious afterward; just to increase Barney's humiliation. This is must see TV right here, folks.

Prison Break (FOX; 8 pm). Mid-season finale. One of Linc's crew doesn't make it out of the ep alive. Here's my take on it, so if you haven't watched up to this point, skip to the next listing because this is a minor spoiler alert. I don't know anything, but here are my odds of death. Linc: 500-1; T-Bag: 200-1; Gretchen: 10-1; Self: 5-1.

Spoiler over

The Life a House Built; PBS. 8 pm (check local listings). Special.

A look at Jimmy Carter's work with Habitat For Humanity. I work with someone who bought a Habitat house (yes, they do buy them; just at reduced rates and reduced costs due to donated material and labor) last year, and I learned quite a bit about this fantastic program from her. Hopefully some insight can be gained for others with this special.

Tuesday, 12/23

A Home for the Holidays With Faith Hill; CBS. 7 pm. Special.

Frank TV (TBS; 10 pm). Season finale.

If a show airs, but no one gives a crap, does it really exist?

Wednesday, 12/24

A Christmas Story; TBS. 7 pm. marathon.

TBS runs its annual 24 hours of the classic film.

It's a Wonderful Life; NBC. 7 pm. Movie.

Another classic film; but only airing once.

Sunday, 12/28

Summer Heights High (HBO; 9:30) Season Finale.

This is an awesome show. Very much in the spirit of the original The Office and other more subtle comedy. Catch it on reruns or with OnDemand.

More Free Music

I've been without my computer the past two weeks or so, so when I got it back, I found an e-mail from amazon.com that said it was offering a free Christmas-music song for download every day this month.

Haven't listened to them yet, and Christmas-music isn't really my thing, so I don't know what's all there, but, c'mon, they're free.

And when you download a few of the songs (they've kept all the freebies up since Dec. 1), you can link to the other free songs and sampler albums they have. I just downloaded all I could find-- 98 new songs.

Check 'em out at: http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=pe_32950_10911590_pe_18/?docId=1000314901

I'll also recommend downloading the Amazon MP3 Downloader if you start downloading these tunes. If you have the Downloader and have iTunes open when you download from Amazon, the Amazon MP3 Downloader also transfer the songs automatically to your iTunes library. No pain-in-the-ass file manual transfers.

The Most Inspirational Speech-- EVER

"Novel Take"

I'm not tryin' to be a hater with two (true) Darth Bush posts in a row, but I like (Pulitzer Prize winner) Leonard Pitt Jr.'s work. He had a great editorial about the Bible a year or so ago-- and also brought my attention the diabolical censorship past of Sarah Palin.

This one grabbed my attention a few days ago where he calls out misguided stupidity:
'Novel take' on tenure of President Bush


Here's another, where he suggests how the Republicans could change strategy:
Don't let fear trump hope


Or another where he talks about the death penalty (and even though I was all for it a decade or so ago, viewpoints like Pitt's have swung me in the other direction since then):
Capital punishment is wrong, unfair


And, finally, a very mature explanation of why it's okay to believe in God:
Making sense of the meaning of life


You may not agree with him, but you have to admit he has a very nice, intelligent way about him that makes it difficult to disagree. And I find him refreshing that he doesn't resort to hatefulness when he's making his point. When one speaks of politics, race, and religion as he does, it's a tough-- but possible-- goal to not be overly mean.

Check out some of his other past columns at The Miami Herald

One Picture = a Million Words

Courtesy of Clay Bennett.
http://www.timesfreepress.com/news/cartoons/

Premieres and Notables; December 15-21, 2008

Still no home computer, so this'll be another quick one without the usual wise-ass comments. (I know: boo hoo.)

Monday, 12/15

Cat Dancers; HBO. 7 pm. Special.
A documentary about the three tiger and leopard tamers that were mauled by one of their charges a decade ago.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (FOX; 7 pm). Mid-season finale.

Intervention; A&E. 8 pm. Season Premiere.


Tuesday, 12/16

Biggest Loser: Families (NBC; 7 pm). Season Finale.

Blush (Lifetime; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Momma's Boys; NBC. 9 pm. Series premiere.
Three sons look for love (or an easy lay) in this dating reality show. But wait! There's more: the three men's moms live with the ladies in the house.

Breaking the Huddle; HBO. 9 pm. Special.
A documentary about the civil rights movement on college football.

And a Tuesday note: I've finally started watching this season's Eli Stone, and I have to recommend it. It's not always the most comedic or dramatic, but I love the sense that this character is a "prophet" (which religion? doesn't matter). It's a crime a show this unique and with this wonderful belief that one man can change the world got the ax. Watch it while you can on ABC at 9 pm.


Wednesday, 12/17

A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa; NBC. 7 pm. Special.

Stylista (The CW; 8 pm). Season Finale.

Parking Wars (A&E; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Sunday, 12/21

Brotherhood (Showtime; 7 pm). Season Finale.

Skins (BBC America; 9 pm). Season Finale.

NBC's Big Move

Probably old news for most of you-- but I'm trying to keep people up to date.

If you didn't know, Jay Leno was supposed to be "bumped" from The Tonight Show next year because Conan O'Brien was already promised the job. Then, when Jay's ratings stayed high, and he didn't show signs of being ready to leave, NBC had a problem on its hands. ABC and most other major and minor networks were all chomping at the bit to land him because Jay had nowhere to go on NBC. And NBC didn't want to lose the long-time king of late night.

So NBC thought outside the box and gave Jay a nightly TV show at the 10 pm (9 pm for us CST people).

It's a bold move for a network as they're taking out an entire five hours of "regular" programming from its prime time schedule, but NBC has been trying to think outside the block for the last two years (remember the "no scripted programming in the first hour of prime time" idea that seems to have been forgotten?).

Looks like NBC (and I'm sure Jay as well) made out well. NBC has big holes in its schedule, and they'll get worse once ER signs off. And now they've got a proven player (albeit a "late night" one) that will produce a show that will ultimately end up cheaper than what NBC was putting on before.

It remains to be seen if Letterman will gain some ground without Jay as competition or whether Conan will hold on to the viewers.

It also remains to be seen how long this "experiment" lasts. If ratings go south, will they pull back a night or three? What will NBC air when there aren't new episodes? How about when NBC makes a large block for original programming like the three-hour Heroes premiere this season?

I'm sure NBC has thought about it, but, as usual, they remain tight-lipped.

Premieres and Notables, December 8-14, 2008

Quick and dirty post this week (and probably the next few)... Computer took a dive, so I'm stuck on public computers-- yay!

Monday, 12/8

Boston Legal (ABC; 8 pm). Series Finale.

Top Gear; BBC America. 7 pm. Season Premiere.


Tuesday, 12/9

Manhunters: Fugitive Task Force; A&E. 9 pm. Series Premiere.


Thursday, 12/10

Sarah Silverman Program (Comedy Central; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Friday, 12/12

Starter Wife (USA; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Saturday, 12/13

The Greatest Game Ever Played; ESPN. 8 pm. Special.
A special reairing of the classic 1958 matchup between the Colts and the football Giants.


Sunday, 12/14

Survivor: Gabon (CBS; 7 pm). Season Finale

Dexter (Showtime; 8 pm). Season Finale.

Californication (Showtime; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Serve up some GREY'S SOUP

I love The Soup...

Soupy Grey's

Premieres and Notables; December 1-7, 2008

Tuesday, 12/2

According to Jim; ABC. 8 & 8:30 pm CST. 8th Season Premiere.
Yep, you heard me...

Bad Girls Club; Oxygen. 9 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.

Party Monsters: Cabo; E! 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Party Planners compete to put on events for people like P Diddy (or is it just Diddy now?) and Carmen Electra.

Shatner's Raw Nerve; Bio. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Wild Bill Shatner gets his own chatfest. In the premiere, he grills Valerie Bertinelli. I'm not too excited, but I like Val-- and you never know if Shatner will "lose it" at some point.


Wednesday, 12/3

Secret Millionaire; ABC. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
A British import/"reimagining" that finds one wealthy American every week sent to a struggling town to give money to deserving locals.

Spectacle: Elvis Costello With... Sundance. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Tonight he talks to Elton John. In the future, he talks to The Police, Bill Clinton, and Tony Bennett.


Wednesday, 12/3

Man v. Food; Travel. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Host Adam Richman pounds down 2-lb hamburgers and Reubens-- and describes the eateries he pounds them down in.

Tyler Perry's House of Payne; TBS. 9 pm. Season Premiere.


Thursday, 12/4

On My Name is Earl (NBC; 7 pm), Earl and Randy host a children's story time at the library. The stories they choose come from the police blotter.

Barbara Walters Special; ABC. 9:01. Special
Once again, Ba-Ba reinvents the word "interesting". Someone get that woman a dictionary!
The list: Will Smith, Miley Cyrus, Tina Fey, Tom Cruise, Rush Limbaugh, Frank Langella, Michael Phelps, and Sarah Palin.


Friday, 12/5

Merry Christmas, Drake & Josh; Nickelodeon. 7 pm. Movie.


Sunday, 12/7

The Librarian: The Curse of the Judas Chalice; TNT. 7 pm. Movie.
That title actually sounds cool. I doubt the product holds a candle to it, though. Noah Wylie returns as the titular librarian; this time he goes on an adventure that combines Dracula and a chalice made from Judas' 30 pieces of silver.

House of Saddam; HBO. 8 pm. 2-part mini-series.
Two hours tonight and two hours next Sunday of this drama dives into the private and public life of the scumbag who doesn't even need a last name for us to know who he is.

Leverage; TNT. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Timothy Hutton stars in this show about some less-than-legal-method people who mess with high-falutin' rich people, Robin Hood style.

ONIONy Goodness

God Help Him, But Area Man Loves That Crazy Bitch


'Cosmopolitan' Institute Completes Decades-Long Study On How To Please Your Man


Twister Party Fails To Get Dirty

Vince McMahon's X-SPAN Promises Bone-Crunching Legislative Coverage

Metal Council Convenes To Discuss 'Metal Hand Sign' Abuse

50 Reasons to Have Sex

If you watched last night's "The Naked Man" episode of How I Met Your Mother (and why wouldn't you have-- I only mention the show damn near every week), you experienced one possible reason to have sex: because the naked man in your house was there, and you were impressed by his confidence/humor or just thought "Why not?"

As you also saw, Lily and her friends tried to come up with 50 other reasons to have sex. Barney offered "Because your condoms are close to expiring," while Ted came up with "Wingman diving on the friend grenade."

But we only saw about a dozen of the reasons on the show.

If you want to Lily's complete list, check it out at this link:
http://www.tvguide.com/Includes/newsletter-images/blog-images/50_Reasons_1.gif

And for crying out loud, check out this show if you haven't yet. It gets better by the week.

Almost a Heartbeat Away From the Presidency

There are so many things to dislike about Sarah Palin's politics, but you gotta give her some applause for the comedy she brings to situations.

Suffer through the blah blah blah of the first half-- but at the 2 minute 30 second mark, this gets pretty funny.