First 9 Mins of ABC's V

Premieres 11/3.

Smackdown: Jesus vs. Satan

If I believed in Hell, I'd be afraid I'd be going there when I die for posting this clip.

But let's take it for what it is, a stupid wrestling "create-a-game" with some rasslin'-style commentary (one "good" play-by-play guy and a "bad" color commentator.).

Besides, some of the jokes, sacreligious as they are, are pretty funny...

MIRACLE Speech

I saw this on some web show (Tosh.0 or Web Soup; I can't remember), and thought it was funny as well as accurate.

Four-year old "Rizzo" gives the speech Kurt Russell's Herb Brooks gave right before the game against the Soviets in the 1980 Olympics. "Screw 'em". Love it.



And here is the original, for comparison:

Condensed SOUP; 10/16/09

http://www.eonline.com/videos/v46129_condensed-soup-oct-.html

Premieres and Notables; October 19-25, 2009

iParticipate Week begins, where 60 shows on the four major networks will have some sort of community service element; either a plotline or a public service announcements starring the shows' actors.  I'm sure some Republican jackass will poo-poo the whole thing. Like volunteering will be the end of civiliazation or some such nonsense...

Tuesday, 10/20

Shark Tank (ABC; 7 pm CST) Season Finale.

Flipping Out (Bravo; 9 pm CST) Season Finale.


Wednesday, 10/21

Lock 'n' Load; Showtime.  7 pm CST. Series Premiere.
A new reality show where a former actor/current gun salesman in Colorado is followed.

Living With Ed; Planet Green.  8 pm. Season Premiere.


Thursday, 10/22

The Jeff Dunham Show; Comedy Central.  8 pm CST.  Series Premiere.
The ventiloquist brings his favorite characters with him on this show.


Friday, 10/23

Neil Patrick Harris lends his voice to the newly created Batman villain, the Music Meister on Batman: The Brave and the Bold (Cartoon Network; 6 pm).

White Collar; USA. 9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Something about a con-artist teaming up with an FBI agent-- with the requisite comedy USA dramas are known for...

Hitler Reacts to Abrams' STAR TREK Rumors

There are some great lines in this one...

Premieres and Notables; October 12-18, 2009

Monday, 10/12

The Rachel Zoe Project (Bravo; 9 pm CST). Season Finale.

Million Dollar Listing; Bravo. 10 pm. Season Premiere.


Tuesday, 10/13

Hell's Kitchen (FOX; 7 pm CST). Season Finale.


Wednesday, 10/14

Alaska State Troopers; National Geographic.  9 pm CST. Series Premiere.
COPS in Alaska.

Nip/Tuck; FX. 9 pm CST. Season Premiere.


Thursday, 10/15

Hmmm... What is this?  Two consecutive funny episodes of Parks & Recreation (NBC; 7:30 CST)?  I wouldn't have believed it three weeks ago, but the last two eps of P&R were pretty good.  If you've decided to skip it after their usual unfunny eps, you may want to try it again...

30 Rock; NBC. 8:30 pm CST. 4th Season Premiere.


Friday, 10/16

Ugly Betty; ABC. 7 pm CST. Season Premiere.
I know I had this one last week, but ABC saw fit to back the premiere out a week, so let's try again.

Psych (USA; 9 pm CST). Mid-season finale.

Bartender Wars; Fine Living.  9:30 pm. Season Premiere.


Saturday, 10/19

Head Games; Science Channel.  8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Whoopi Goldberg exec-produces this science-based trivia game show hosted by Greg Proops.


Sunday, 10/18

The Simpsons (FOX; 7 pm CST) hold their annual "Treehouse of Horror" epsiode.

Occupation; BBC America. 7 pm CST. Movie.
A gritty drama about three soldiers returning home-- but are unable to leave the war behind.  It's supposed to be pretty good.

Monty Python: Almost the Truth (The Lawyer's Cut); IFC. 8 pm CST. Mini-series.
A six-part documentary about the Python gang. I've read this doc is pretty good-- but I never got into the actual Python series.

Condensed SOUP; 10/9/09

http://www.eonline.com/videos/v45896_condensed-soup-oct-.html

Hitler Doesn't Like TWILIGHT

Maybe you're sick of seeing these Hitler parodies...

But are you as sick of hearing about fucking Twilight as I am?

Premieres and Notables; October 5-11, 2009

Sorry for not having anything post the past few days. My friends at eonline/the soup decided to not offer the code to embed videos anymore.  I'll still make a Condensed Soup link, but I won't be doing any others (unless they're really good). The Soup website changes every couple of months, so maybe they'll go back to having a working embed code (they have an embed code now, but it doesn't work-- unless it's for another site like FaceBook; I don't know).

Quick notes on last week's watching:

With the amount of TV I watch, I can't afford DVR space to record HighDef television, but I knew I had to figure out a way to see Ken Burns' National Parks: America's Best Idea mini-series in HD.  Through some hardcore TV watching/DVR deleting, I was able to get the space needed.  It was worth it. I'm only half-way through the 12 hours, but it has been amazing to see in HD-- especially the first ep dealing with Yellowtone and Yosemite.  I just wish PBS would have aired 2 hrs/week; that 12 hrs/6 days was a killer.  I think BestBuy is going to sell the BluRay set for about $90 this week. I'm not sure it's worth that price (which is pretty cheap on a per-hour basis), but is was beautiful (and informative).

Accidentally on Purpose got deleted from my DVR schedule after I watched the second ep. Don't have time to see if it actually gets funny.  What a turd.

My Glee love is starting to get just a small tarnish.  Two parts on last week's ep disappointed me as being too unbelievable, but I kept reminding myself that the story is what matters-- and some of the unbelievable bits are there to serve the story.  It's still great TV.

I held out way longer than I should have, but 'Til Death also got the DVR boot.  Mercy is on its way; just want to watch the second ep to be sure.  I may not even get to The Good Wife or The Forgotten before I purge the DVR of them. 

The Middle (ABC; Wed, 7:30 pm CST) was pretty good. Hank (ABC; Wed, 7 pm CST) not so much.  Flashforward's (ABC; Thurs, 7:00 pm CST) pilot was great; haven't gotten to ep 2 yet.  Community's (NBC; Thurs, now at 7:00 pm) second ep was just as good as its first.

And I'm trying to catch up with last year's Californication, but I ran into a roadblock after the first ep. Hank gets a vasectomy, but wears jeans after the procedure and then goes to a party that night.  For real?  I was in a coma most of the first day and stuck on a chair the next two days with frozen peas on my junk.  I don't expect lots of reality on my shows (especially that one), but that was a bit much.


Okay, here's this week's notables:

Monday, 10/5

Sherri; Lifetime. 6 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Sherri Shepherd stars in a comedy loosely based on her life (maybe her character will take a walk to see the edge of the world).

Rita Rocks; Lifetime. 6:30 pm CST. 2nd Season Premiere.

The Mo'Nique Show; BET. 10 pm. Series Premiere.
The comedian gets her own talk show.


Tuesday, 10/6

Kings Ransom; ESPN. 7 pm. Special
For its 30th birthday, ESPN enlisted some famous directors to make a documentary about a major sports event from the past 30 years. Peter Berg gets the first doc, and he chose to focus on the L.A. Kings trade that "stole" Wayne Gretzkey from Edmonton.

Scare Tactics; Syfy. 8 pm CST. Season Premiere.

Parking Wars; A&E. 9 pm CST. Season Premiere.
Now in Detroit Rock City.


Wednesday, 10/7

Mythbusters; Discovery. 8 pm. Season Premiere.

South Park; Comedy Central. 9:00 pm CST. Season Premiere.
Let's all cross our fingers that the shows gets funny and satirical again after the last two, weak seasons.

Secret Girlfriend; Comedy Central. 9:30 pm CST. Series Premiere.
The main character is portrayed through the camera lense (kinda like a first-person shooter game; making the viewer the main character.  I've read two things about it, and they both said the show is pretty bad. (got 1 out of 10 in TV Guide and a D in Entertainment Weekly).


Thursday, 10/8

This Old House; PBS. 7 pm. 30th Season Premiere.

Pam and Jim get married in a special hour-long episode of The Office (NBC; 8 pm).

Leonard Nimoy returns as a guest star on Fringe (FOX; 8 pm).


Friday, 10/9

Ugly Betty; ABC. 7 pm CST. 4th Season Premiere.
First it gets premiered a week or two later than the other shows, and then its now on Fridays... Owch.

Dog Whisperer; National Geographic.  8 pm CST. Season Premiere.

The Wizards of Waverly Place; Disney Channel. 7 pm CST. 3rd Season Premiere.
Not that you'd know there hasn't been anything new in a while the way Disney has been pimping Selena Gomez...


Saturday, 10/10

Wanday Sykes: I'ma Be Me; HBO. 9 pm. Special.


Sunday, 10/11

Army Wives (Lifetime; 9 pm) Season Finale.

Californication; Showtime. 9 pm CST. 3rd Season Premiere.
Rick Springfield gets a four-episode guest starring arc this season.  It's bound to be pretty hardcore.

Hitler Explains That Wrong Subtitles Are Funny

Condensed Soup; 10/2/09

Condensed iSoup/i: iHell's Kitchen/i Chronic Case, iKing of the Crown/i Crybaby and More!

Shared via AddThis

Perhaps Worst Woman Ever on iBridezillas/i

Perhaps Worst Woman Ever on iBridezillas/i

Shared via AddThis

Laurel & Hardy "Party Train"

First off, I gotta say, I love Laurel and Hardy.  Any chance you can get to check out their work on AMC or on DVD or something, do so.  Completely brilliant entertainers who will be forgotten if we don't keep their memories alive.

Anyway, I ran across this video created and posted by YouTube's yark72.  He said he didn't do anything to the video (which comes from the film Way Out West) to match it up with The Gap Band's "Party Train" song; it just came together naturally.

Check it out.

Blue Suede Shoes Monster Jam

I'm not positive what the celebration was, but I believe it was for Les Paul (and a belated R.I.P. to the man who may have shaped rock music more than anyone else).  I'm also not sure of the when, but I'd place it at the mid-'80s just from Edward Van Halen's appearance.

So, you've got Les Paul introducing the Stray Cats, who break into "Blue Suede Shoes". Then during the solo, Brian Seltzer calls out EVH, B.B. King, David Gilmour, Steve Miller, and Jan Hammer.  Then Les finishes up the jam. 

Not many stages have held that much talent on it before.

Premieres and Notables, September 28- October 4, 2009

Well, it was a pretty good week last week: How I Met Your Mother had some good stuff, Modern Family showed tons of promise, Cougartown was much better than I expected, Gary Unmarried conitunes to get better, Glee got more serious-- and pulled it off wonderfully, Curb Your Enthusiasm was just as wacky as it ever was. 

And the bad: Two and a Half Men: pure shit. Accidentally on Purpose: better be funny this week, or it's off the DVR schedule.

And the first casualty of the new season? Kind of a surprise-- or maybe not as I saw NO press at all on it; I didn't even know enough about it to mention it on my blog.  The CW axed The Beautiful Life: TBL after just two eps.

Let's see if this week can continue with good and cancel the bad:


Monday, 9/28

BrainSurge; Nickelodeon.  3:30 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Kids compete in a memory game.

Ted (on How I Met Your Mother; CBS, 7:00 pm CST) gets set up on a blind date-- with a woman he had a blind date with seven years earlier.  --And he doesn't remember her...

Lie to Me FOX. 8 pm CST. 2nd Season Premiere.

Trauma; NBC. 8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Did you like the big, explosive scenes on ER? Well, it looks like this show is full of them.  San Fran paramedics help people all over the Bay Area.  I actually got tired from just watching the couple-minute promo for the pilot.  Too much.


Wednesday, 9/30

Hank; ABC. 7 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Kelsey Grammar stars as a wealthy New Yorker who gets downsized, so he has to move his family to Virginia.  The promo didn't look that funny, but I'll check it out for a few weeks to be sure.

The Middle; ABC. 7:30 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Patricia Heaton and Neil (Scrub's "Janitor") Flynn star as parents in a modern household.  The promo for this one did look funny.  It's a little bit wacky (in a good way), so that should keep it from being boring.


Thursday, 10/1

Private Practice; ABC. 9:01 pm CST. 3rd Season Premiere.


Friday, 10/2

Star Wars: The Clone Wars; 7 pm CST. 2nd Season Premiere.
Last season was uneven at times, but they've decided to bring back new bounty hunter Cad Bane as a recurring thorn in the Jedi's sides (and Bane brings friends as well-- many of whom we've already seen in the films).  Also, Anakin heads down the Dark Side path more and more this season.  May be worth trying again if you left through last season.

'Til Death; FOX. 7:30 pm CST. Season Premiere.
It has never been especially funny, but the addition of J.B. Smoove really brought some (and sometimes even alot of) humor to it.  Unfortunately, Smoove wasn't brought back for the new season (BOOOOO!!!!) after yet another series retooling.   But there are some eps left over from last season (when the piece of crap it got scheduled with bombed, and this show disappeared for ten months), so maybe they've got some Smoove in the can.

Stargate Universe; Syfy. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
The concept that couldn't die now has a group of people (including ones who look a lot like Robert Carlyle, Lou Diamond Phillips, and Ming-Na) jumping blindly through a Stargate that lands them on a gigantic starship billions of lightyears from home. 
I've tried the Stargate shows every couple of years, and they've never grabbed me-- but this one just may do it. It's got a decent cast and and interesting concept.


Saturday, 10/3

SuperFetch; Animal Planet. 7 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Dog trailer Zak George teaches dogs to make a bed, ride a bike, and get a beer, among other things in this series.

Celebrity Ghost Stories; Bio. 9 pm. Season Premiere.


Sunday, 10/4

America's Funniest Home Videos; ABC.  6 pm CST. 1,000,000th Season Premiere.
Because nut-shots are always funny...

Dallas Divas and Daughters; Style. 7 pm. 6th Season Premiere.
How does a show get to season six, and I have never heard of it?

My Monkey Baby; TLC. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
A baby monkey and her adventure with her human "parents" who hook her up with stylish clothes and toys.
On a related note to the Dallas Divas from above: How does a show like this get made, and why do I have to hear about it?

The Next Iron Chef; Food Network. 8 pm CST. Season Premiere.

Three Rivers; CBS.  8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
(Female) Fangasmic actor Alex O'Loughlin stars in the medical transplant drama.
(Why "fangasmic"? I'll bet if you Google his last show-- Moonlight-- you'll read much, much more about how hot and sexy he is than you will about the actual show.)

The Seinfeld "reunion" begins on tonight's Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO; 9 pm). This season-long storyline promises to bring back the original cast as they film their reunion special (which is just for this show's storyline; it;'s not real).

Entourage (HBO; 9:30 pm CST.) Season Finale.

Hitler Didn't Get a Wii Fit

Condensed SOUP: 9/25/09

Sorry-- the embed code wouldn't work, so here's the link to the website I get it from:

http://www.eonline.com/videos/v_HXYN3nBOXdKlqFHIVWz4RMWZfsC1865_condensed-soup,-sept.-25.html

Two Burritos and a Rootbeer Float

Here's Edward Van Halen's cameo in last week's season premiere of Two and a Half Men:




So, I thought it was great. Ed's not an actor, so he's on less than 30 seconds, plays a hot riff as you'd expect, and gets the best line of the episode (My VH pal Turd Ferguson said the next album should be named "Two Burritos and a Rootbeer Float". I agree.). Perfect appearance. 
What wasn't so perfect: it was on this show. I went on an e-mail rant to Mr. Ferguson, which I'll copy-and-paste here because it needs to be said in public:

I remember really not enjoying Men after maybe the first or second season (and I never really did get into it even before then), and I have tried it once or twice a year (such as the CSI writer experiment) since, but this week's ep was brutal. I felt in pain when I watched it. Actual pain.


I like Jon Cryer. He seems to be a humble person who's grateful for his career, but he never should have won the Supporting Actor Emmy on Sunday. And then to say (or at least how I paraphrased it) that Sheen has been robbed by not yet having an Emmy was about the funniest thing said that night. Acting IS tough, and I'm sure Sheen works hard, but that show should be nowhere near the Emmys. Those guys shouldn't even be valet parking the limos at the Awards for being in Men.


I get the love these actors have for their parts-- especially lucrative parts that get high ratings-- but do they actually watch their show? A great actor in a terrible movie usually can't be blamed, but Sheen and Cryer have been on that show for years. They've got to have some show guidance control by now.

I just don't get how it's the #1 comedy. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: the average American is a moron.
 
I just can't handle how bad this show is. It was fucking painful to sit through last week. I'm no snob (you saw some of the "29 favorite shows" I listed last week), but this show is garbage. Shame on you Neilsen people who flip to CBS Monday at 8 pm CST and don't have the common courtesy to change the channel while you puke from watching it, so it gets high ratings.  For Shame!

This Bully is Clueless

"Oh yes"-- he is clueless.