The Hagar Best Of

So, here's the mix CD I made for a friend.


A couple of notes: she has the Van Halen Best of Both Worlds, which is pretty comprehensive, so no need to add Van Halen songs to the mix. I also added a few songs that might not normally make the cut because there are a few that were tailored to her. And after nearly two-dozen albums, he's got a lot of songs to choose from. I added a few songs in this mix that maybe wouldn't make the cut on a different day because I may have feel more strongly about something else. That's the tough thing about Best Of's...

I'll get around to my definitive Hagar Best Of in the future. I will say that there are some official Best Of's out there: namely The Essential Red Collection and the remastered Classic Masters. Most of this mix CD I made came from those because they're remastered. I'll try to include the original album (if I could determine it-- his Capitol label era has tons of best of and live stuff) as well as the album I used to make the mix.



1. "Bad Motor Scooter"; Montrose (Montrose)/Essential Red Collection. Hagar's first tune, made when he fronted Montrose. It's also got a meaning for my friend-- or at least I tie the song to her.

2. "Red"; Red/Essential Red. The song that will forever link him to the color and gave him his Red Rocker nickname.

3. "(Sittin' On) The Dock of the Bay"; single/Classic Masters. This Otis Redding cover was a hit for him. It also showcases his talented voice.

4. "Rock 'N' Roll Weekend"; Red/Classic Masters. Just a cool tune. You can imagine him and his friends hangin' at the beach, drinking beers, and listening to the radio.

5. "Cruisin' & Boozin'"; Red/Classic Masters. I like the rhythm of the verses. And it's just a fun song.

6. "I've Done Everything For You"; B-side to "Dock of the Bay"/Classic Masters. If you listen hard enough, you can hear the disappointment in his voice when he realizes all his efforts were for naught. And, for the record, Hagar wrote the song (and put it on vinyl), and Rick Springfield covered it three years later.

7. "You Make Me Crazy"; Musical Chairs/Classic Masters. Another early hit. I like the tune of it.

8. "Three Lock Box"; Three Lock Box/Unboxed. One of those great "singalong" songs that are cool to hear live.

9. "There's Only One Way to Rock" Standing Hampton/Essential Red. Great hard rock vibe. Also a great one to hear live. He did a mean version with Van Halen on Right Here, Right Now where Ed just went wild.

10. "I'll Fall in Love Again"; Standing Hampton/Essential Red. One of my favorite songs. It's one of those turning point songs everyone has when they're growing up. It really got me through some rough times.

11. "Fast Times At Ridgemont High"; Fast Times At Ridgemont High soundtrack/Essential Red. One of my friend's favorite movies. And the song has some cool sounds in it.

12. "Heavy Metal"; VOA/Essential Red. Great hard rock tune.

13. "I Can't Drive 55"; VOA/Essential Red. Probably the song he's best known for.

14. "Give to Live"; I Never Said Goodbye/Essential Red. Another of those seminal songs for me growing up off the first Hagar album I ever bought.

15. "High Hopes"; Unboxed/Essential Red. Probably doesn't need to be in here, but I was feeling it at the time.

16. "Little White Lies"; Marching to Mars/Essential Red. Probably my favorite Hagar song (which changes depending on my mood-- it's always in the Top Five). This song proved to me that he'd be okay after the Van Halen split. The rage from the Van Halen mess just comes through so clearly. He got some game-changing help from friends like Slash and Huey Lewis as well. The acoustic opening with the crunching electric guitar breaks during the first two verses, sliding into Lewis' harmonica solo (with the ominous electric getting closer), and then the full-blown hard rock ending that just drops on you. Perfect.

17. "Mas Tequila"; Red Voodoo/Essential Red. A "reimagination" of "Rock and Roll II" that he made his own. A fun song to party with.

18. "Let Sally Drive"; Ten13. Another one that maybe didn't need to be included, but it's a fun song nonetheless. I love when everything stops for a split-second and then "Drive drive drive, Sally drive!"

19. "Serious Juju"; Ten13. I love this song. It didn't work so well live, but the studio track is great. It's dark and mean and a departure from regular Hagar fare. And I'm not clear on who did the lead guitar (Sam or Vic Johnson), but it sure ruled. It'd be perfect entrance music for Al Gore when he does his global warming presentations. "Mother Earth will punish you... with some... serious... juju."

20. "Sam I Am"; Livin' it Up. A fun little tune off his most recent album that my friend said she liked.

21. "Let Me Take You There"; Livin' it Up. Another borderline tune, but it's different, so I thought it would round the mix out.

Not a bad track listing if I do say so myself. It runs the gamut from his first song to his most recent. There's some rocking songs, party songs, serious songs, ballads; some that feature his voice, others that feature his guitars. Some that you just need to sing along with, and others that you don't dare try to sing. And, most importantly, they are all his songs (or ones he put his own touch on). You can play any one of them, and say "This is a Sammy Hagar song."

So, I'm going to sound the call out again: who is your favorite artist? Who are you an expert on? Make a Best Of mix that tells a novice everything they need to know about your favorite. [One of my loyal readers is a Hagar expert himself, so I'm curious to hear what he thinks (you know who you are).]

Write a comment to this post with your Best Of, or e-mail me at teameckblog@charter.net, and I'll work it into a post. As I said in my last post, there are no right or wrong answers. There are no right or wrong artists. This is just suppsoed to be a fun exercise-- and maybe a little way to brag about what you're an expert on. Do a track listing of 15-20 songs that you'd play for someone who wanted to know what your artist is about; what "their sound" is. And, for fun, throw in an oddball you really like as a "bonus track" (for Hagar, I'd probably do one of his guest appearances on another artist's album).

I'd like this to be a summer-long project. Send your Best Of for a favorite band and then spend some time on another artist. I could do a Hagar one, a non-solo career Hagar, a Van Halen one, a Roth-era VH, a Hagar-era VH, a Best of Eddie Van Halen. Hell, I've got all but one of Roth's albums, too, so I could even do one of his. Make a workout album like I posted about a few months ago. The possibilities are endless.

And you may be surprised by what happens when you do it. I made a Traveling Wilburys mix for my four-year old that had Wilburys tunes (the ones that weren't too adult-- amazing how being a parent of little people changes your outlook) and Jeff Lynne and Tom Petty songs from around the time of the supergroup. I couldn't even put all my favorite tunes in due to content and whatnot, and I was amazed by how much I actually liked the album anyway. It totally brought me back to that magical time in my life: high school. It's also funny to hear my little guys sing songs that I just couldn't help but sing along with in front of them (I do not have a good singing voice, so I tend not to sing around them at all).

So, hey, have fun. If you're shy, don't tell me your name (and if I know it, I won't offer it unless given permission).

Who knows, you might just create a new fan for your favorite artist. The friend I made the Hagar mix is becoming a fan because of me. The Hagar expert I hoped would share his thoughts on my list? Who do you think turned him on to Hagar? Do the same for your favorite.

Best Of's

I'm gonna kind of link some various thoughts I've alluded to on previous posts together. Bear with me.

I don't get a chance to listen to music much. When I'm driving in my own car, I tend to listen to talk radio or audiobooks (because I just can't stop thinking). My car also has a cassette player, so I've got nothing to play on it more recent than 1991, and what I do have to listen to has been listened to a lot in my day and even though it's been years since I've listened to it, it's still tiresome for the most part.

I also just haven't found any really good music lately. The radio stations around here (and any other place I've lived) suck. You have your classic rock, which is, basically, the same 100 songs-- no matter what station you're listening to. You have your modern rock, which is just a little too much; there's nothing there that really hooks me (or wasn't when I actually tried listening to it). And it's all about how depressed people are and how their daddies didn't love them. What happened to good old sex, drugs, and rock and roll?

But I've found that music is extremely powerful at evoking memories and feelings. I went through a bit of an emotional crisis in February. My company decided to relocate my department, and my three minute commute became a thirty-five minute commute (thirty, if I'm really running late). My favorite people to work with were all leaving in droves, and I felt this enormous loss. But I also pulled out some tapes to play during my long drive and found comfort in the music I listened to during my last big emotional crisis-- the dreaded high school and girls mix. It was comforting-- and it helped me cope with the upheaval in my life now just as it did for me half a lifetime ago.

Music is important. It's also one of the few things I try not to disparage. If a TV show sucks, I'll usually say it to anyone who asks my opinion (and even those who don't). Same with movies, comics, books, etc. But music is sacred. I guess I look at music being so personal, it's hard to say "that sucks" because it may mean as much to someone else as my favorite music does to me.

That attitude probably also stems from the fact that I was a big late-'80s Van Halen fan. That meant Sammy Hagar. I spent my high school and college lives hearing how Roth was better in the band, and I had to defend my favorite lineup whenever the subject came up.

Hmmmm. I'm not wrapping it up real well, am I?

Let's just get to the point:

I noted in a recent post that it's hard to come up with a Best Of list of any sort unless you're an expert on the subject. I'm not an "expert" at much, but I do know a lot about a few things (TV of the last ten years, comic books of the last twenty-five, Van Halen). So, when a friend asked me to make her a Sammy Hagar mix CD, I jumped at the chance. Here, I was able to actually put my knowledge to use-- and try to create another fan. Then I thought: what a great idea for a blog post.

And also: what an idea to actually get some communication going. I've gotten good feedback from people I know who read this, but I don't give much of an opportunity to open the gates.

So here it is. Time to earn your keep. Make a best of CD of your favorite band. Make an 80 minute mix for me (15-20 songs). If you were going to make a fan, what would you put on the CD? And, as a bonus, throw in a song that means something to you that may not get put on an "official" Best Of; a bonus track if you will.

I'm out of time, so I'll post my Hagar Best Of within the next day or two. In the meantime, get to work. I know one of my readers is a U2 fan and another is a Queensryche fan. Sell me on them.

Post a reply to the post or e-mail your best of to me at teameckblog@charter.net .

And sorry I didn't proofread this-- outta time....

Turning the Other Cheek

I can't in good conscience recommend [adult swim]'s Moral Orel because it's pretty sacrilegious (I'm not religious myself, but there's no need in getting the Bible-thumpers all pissed off about a show that's well under their radar.) "Sacrilegious" may be too strong; let's just say it takes Christian dogma and views it from a skewed angle.


But I have to say the episode that aired two weeks ago, "Turn the Other Cheek" was pretty good-- even if you don't find humor in religion.

Orel is a very enthusiastic young Christian who wakes up early and listens to a song about turning the other cheek. One day, school bully Walt punches him to the ground. Orel is ecstatic because he can finally turn the other cheek. He tells his friend Dougie that he's going to teach Walt a lesson, and he turns his other cheek. And Walt gives him a second black eye.

This goes on, day after day. Orel gets beaten to a pulp, and he enthusiastically asks for more.

Soon though, his mom is worried because Orel's clothes are getting so bloody. She takes the problem to her husband, who sees no problem that she has to wash clothes every day. ...Until she informs him that she has to double her laundry detergent budget.

Orel's dad asks him what's going on (because it's so bad that his wife has to talk to him, and "no one wants that"). After Orel explains, his father tells him that God wants him to protect himself and maybe it's time Orel makes Walt turn the other cheek. He also tells Orel that a fist is just one hand praying by itself, so it's not really a bad thing to make one.

Orel finds a new purpose in life: teaching God's word by his actions. He starts beating on Walt, then a sick kid who needed to make a fist to have blood drawn, then other school kids, then a cat he kicks across the street. He's terrorizing the neighborhood and is oblivious to the whole thing.

Finally he comes home and sees his mom's fist, holding a feather duster. He knocks her to the ground and starts wailing on her. His dad comes home and sees Orel going to town on his mom. He hesitates for a second and then screams at him. He reaches for the spanking paddle Orel made in shop class (made because his father's pants fall down every time he has to take his belt to Orel) and got ready to connect.

But Orel sees the fist clenched on the paddle and springs on his dad like a wild animal. I practically fell off the couch from laughing. Anyway, Orel's laying into his dad; even going so far as grabbing the paddle and giving his dad a few whacks, while enthusiastically informing him that he's "Getting a lesson from Jesus."

It was one of the funniest things I've watched since the season finales of my favorite shows a few weeks back.

So while I still can't recommend the show to everyone, I still think it's worth checking out if you can accept the humor. The thing is, Orel is unbelievably naive, but his desire to be the best Christian he can be is what makes the humor work (and it makes Orel someone to root for-- even if he's more dedicated than the most fanatical fundamentalists). And, in my opinion, there are lots of things that people have taken too far in the name of religion and anything that can show the ridiculousness of such things is something worth watching.

Or just forget the religious aspects altogether and just laugh at the antics of a young man who is completely clueless about the world around him.

TV GUIDE's Dream Emmy Noms

For the sixth year in a row, the TV Guide crew made a dream Emmy nominations list. I can't say I disagree with it (and I find numerous faults with most lists-- as my post about the EW Sci-Fi list proved).

Kinsey and Helms from The Office may have been a stretch; deserving, yes, but don't have enough screen time compared to others who could have made the list. But they were inspired choices, for sure.

Another quibble: 30 Rock isn't that great. It's funny, but it was painful to watch the early episodes. Baldwin did (and should have) gotten on the list, but some of the others (including the show itself)...?

But at least, there are no groaners (like Kelsey Grammar's way too many noms for Fraiser).

Check it out at the link:

http://community.tvguide.com/blog-entry/TVGuide-Editors-Blog/Ausiello-Report/2007-Dream-Emmy/800016062

And EW makes my WTF!? list

I really like the Entertainment Weekly magazine. I think the articles are informative without being trashy, and the reviewers are not too snobby and they actually are quite helpful when it comes to what to watch/read.

But they certainly didn't earn an "A" in a recent issue. My friend, Tom, tried to warn me before I read it (I borrow it from the library, so I'm always a week or three behind), but we ended up getting into a discussion of how much of an expert does one have to be before s/he can make a credible "Best Of" list? So his warning didn't hit me until I actually had the issue in my hand.

In issue #933 (May 11, 2007), the editors/critics/staffers made a list of the Top 25 Sci-Fi movies and TV of the last 25 years. The list isn't too bad. I'm certainly no expert anymore, and I haven't seen all the entries, but they did make one glaring omission. Now that I think of it, they also missed another big one. Now, if it was me, you can expect something being forgotten about, but I don't get paid to make lists that should be credible-- and I also work solo. There were TWELVE different people who wrote the explanatory pieces for each show/film, so it can be assumed that at least those twelve came up with the list.

Let's see what they did pick:

1. The Matrix. Hmm. Haven't seen it. Heard it's good. Also heard it's overrated.
2. Battlestar Galactica. (The current show). I've heard nothing but good about it. Probably deserves to be here.
3. Blade Runner. Haven't seen it from beginning to end, but it's considered a classic among those "in the know".
4. The X-Files. Acceptable.
5. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Naturally.
6. Brazil. Haven't seen it, but I've heard it's excellent.
7. E.T. Absolutely. Not my idea of sci-fi, but the the conceits of these lists is: as long as it's set in the future or deals with time travel or alternate histories or has an alien, it's sci-fi.
8. Star Trek: The Next Generation. Probably the best pure sci-fi show ever.
9. Aliens. Sure.
10. The Thing. Another I haven't seen (I really have to dig out the tape I have of it...), but have heard it's excellent.
11. Lost. Heard it's good. Could be stretching the term "sci-fi" a little, though.
12. Back to the Future. Another one I don't think of as sci-fi, but the time travel makes it a viable candidate.
13. The Terminator/Terminator 2. Sure.
14. Children of Men. I have heard this is sci-fi, but it certainly didn't fall into my sci-fi radar. Heard it's an excellent film, too.
15. Firefly/Serenity. I liked the show, and liked the movie much more than I thought I thought I would. Acceptable, considering some on this list, but I think it's overrated.
16. Total Recall. Okay.
17. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Haven't seen it, but have never seen it referred to as sci-fi until this list.
18. Heroes. Ummm; it makes the list before the first season is even done? It could totally be worthy of the list, but I think it made it just to give it some "current stuff" love. And if this show made the list, where are the super-hero movies (Spider-Man, Batman) of the past 25 years?
19. Starship Troopers. Worthy. Unfortunately, the write-up just called it harmless fun. It is more than that.
20. Star Wars: Clone Wars. Worthy for sure.
21. Futurama. Okay, but not at the expense of what was left off.
22. Quantum Leap. Another I don't think of as sci-fi, but it's great it made the list. It's completely underrated.
23. Doctor Who. Haven't seen it in any incarnation, but it's a classic.
24. Galaxy Quest. Great movie; but not at the expense of what's not on the list.
25. V: The Miniseries. I was huge into this when I was a kid. I'm glad to see it get some love.

So, as you can see, it's a pretty good list. And some things were on it that maybe should be, and others aren't on that should be but there are two omissions that are unforgivable.

Firstly, where is Farscape? The craziest, most inventive sci-fi series I have ever seen, and it doesn't make the list? WTF!?

And the biggest error: no Babylon 5? SERIOUSLY!? Are they on f***ing crack? Yeah, it had its flaws, but the pure saga of it all should have made it a shoo-in. I know I personally place it higher on my list (my favorite TV series-- ever) than it deserves to be, but, c'mon! Are they out of their minds?

I guess everyone makes mistakes.

So, take the list as I typed it out and make it it a Top 27. Throw the much-deserving Babylon 5 and Farscape on it and be happy.

Me? I'm just gonna add this to my to-do list if I ever rule the world: "Fix the Entertainment Weekly Sci-Fi list."

Don't they have people who check for this sort of thing?

I just read a great small report in Steve Fritz's weekly animation article he does for newsarama.com that shows why you should check every language you can before you create a show or character. The whole article is here: http://forum.newsarama.com/showthread.php?t=113615 but the part I loved is buried, so I'll paste it below.

And Joanie Loves Chachi will forever be tainted now that I've read it...


SOUTH FLORIDA MOM MAD AT ANIMATED PENGUIN

It appears a South Florida mother, Maida Rodriguez, is up in arms over a PBS animated series entitled Pingu. Aimed at pre-schoolers, it tells the tale of a CGI kid-friendly penguin. The problem? The little bird’s name is apparently the same as a Latin term referring to a particular part of a man’s anatomy.

Her daughter, Samantha, loves the show and anything associated with the Antarctic birds."Basically, the word 'pingu' stands for male genitalia," Rodriguez, of Miami Lakes, told CBS TV station WFOR. "Whenever she sees a penguin, be it a stuffed toy or what not, she says, 'Look Mommy, there’s a Pingu.' I've had a couple of people at stores give me the eye because my daughter is saying a very bad word," Samantha's mom said.

"I have to constantly tell her that she's saying something wrong, and she doesn't understand because it's a show for kids and it's a cartoon and it's got a lovely little song that repeats the song over and over and over and it's a really catchy little tune.”

Rodriguez said that she has called both PBS and cable system Comcast. However, she's been told that she can turn Pingu off if she doesn't like the show. Instead, the mom is thinking of canceling her Comcast cable service.

Obviously, the woman has never heard of blocking the show, either.

As one person later posted on the same news item, Rodriguez is probably going to be having issues with TV shows for some time in the future. After all, the word ‘chachi’ is another Latin American slang term for another piece of male anatomy. As the poster pointed out, this probably goes a long way towards explaining why Joannie loved it so much.

Hey-- He Doesn't Look Like He's Joking...

newsarama.com reported that the new Joker (played by Heath Ledger) in next year's Batman The Dark Knight movie had a picture "leaked". I'm sure a reader or two (*** say: Jack Burton***) will let me know if this is a scam, but I trust my favorite comic-releated new source.








It's nice to see them going against Nicholson's 1989 Joker (or, as I like to refer to it: "Jack doing his thing in white makeup"), but this one looks a little too creepy.

Of course, that may just be the way to go. I'm no hater. I'll make a decision when I actually see the film.

I wonder if the toy stores and fast food restaurants have seen this picture yet. Probably gonna be tough to cross-promote.

Then again, they did make a RoboCop cartoon, so anything's possible.

Premieres and Finales, May 28-June 3, 2007

Sorry for the long-time, no write. Every spare minute I have is spent watching the DVD series set of Brisco County, Jr. Twenty-seven episodes (plus extras), eight DVDs, seven day rental. That's a lot of math...

Monday, 5/28

After you've taken a moment (or three) to remember those who gave their lives for our freedoms, flip on the tube and immerse yourself in some marathons:

Memorial Day Road Trips (TV Land; 5 am- 5 pm). Featured shows include: Bonanza, The Munsters, I Love Lucy, and Sanford & Son.

Memorial Day Salute to the USO (FMC, 6 am-6 am Tuesday). A day's worth of movies honoring the fighting forces and those who serve them in the USO.

That '70s Show (FX, 6 am-4pm).
M*A*S*H (Hallmark, 7 am): Twenty episodes of the landmark series.
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (Spike, 8 am-10 pm).
Deadliest Catch (Discovery, 8 am-9 pm).
Crap Sea-Monster movies (Sci Fi, 8 am). Five movies, beginning with Octopus and ending with Crocodile 2: Death Swamp.
Law & Order (TNT, 9 am): Thirteen episode marathon.
Jaws (Encore, 4 am): All four movies shown again and again.

Fetch! With Ruff Ruffman; PBS. 4:30 pm (check local times). Season premiere.

Star Wars Tech (History, 7 pm) and Star Wars: The Legacy Revealed (History, 8-10 pm). Specials.
In the first, scientists analyze the tech and determine if anything could come true. In the second, the influences of the movies are looked at.

Big Medicine; TLC. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
I don't know much about it; the write-up says a father & son team of doctors in Houston perform gastric-bypass surgery. I'm guessing it's a reality show, and I'm guessing it'll never be seen again come September.

The Ex-Wives Club; ABC. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
"Marla Maples, Angie Everhart, and Shar Jackson help newly single men and women pick up the pieces."
Yes, folks, it's now officially the summer television cycle, where pretty much anything can get on the air...

The Simple Life Goes to Camp; E!. 9 pm. Season Premiere.
Because the first season was good, I will let fans who maybe haven't let go yet that this show is still on the air. If we're lucky, the tall one will get mauled by a bear and the short one will continue starving herself to the point where she actually turns inside out.


Tuesday, 5/29

Boston Legal (ABC, 9 pm) and House (FOX, 8 pm) have their season finales.

After the Catch; Discovery. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
A four-part series that has something to do with the Deadliest Catch guys telling tales of their adventures.

The Universe; History. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
A look at the history, phenomena, and mysteries of space. This sounds cool, and the History Channel usually does a great job. I'll be taping it.


Wednesday, 5/30

The Next Best Thing: Who is the Greatest Celebrity Impersonator?; ABC. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Well, thank God, ABC is finally going to help us answer that question.

Hidden Palms; CW. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Kevin Williamson (Dawson's Creek creator) brings another soapy teen show that the CW gets so wet about. Just remember: if it was good, they'd have aired it sometime between Sept and May.

Traveler; ABC. 8 pm (pilot repeat) and 9 pm (first new ep). Series premiere/return.
A show that had some buzz at last year's upfronts but got pushed to the summer. This is what's called "burning off" episodes; where the network airs whatever was filmed before the producers were told to stop in an effort to recoup a little of the costs back. See Studio 60 for another example.


Thursday, 5/31

Pirate Master; CBS. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Mark Burnett creates yet another reality contest. This one sets the Survivors (*I mean Pirates*) on a ship, searching the Caribbean for loot. Because it's Burnett, it could actually be good. But it could also be what WWE announcer Jim Ross calls, "Going to the well one too many times."

The Starter Wife; USA. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Debra Messing stars in the six-part adaptation of Gigi Levangie Grazer's novel about a Hollywood wife who just got her walking papers.

Payback; Speed. 8 pm. Season Premiere.
Steven Seagal stars in this series where he takes revenge on every person who has poked fun of him on TV and the movies. Nah-- actually it has to with something about celebs giving customized cars to others. In this ep, Travis Barker (who just can't out of the reality show spotlight it seems) gives a Corvette to his dad.


Friday, 6/1

Born Country; CMT. 7 pm. Series premiere.
Is it me or does CMT premiere a new series every f-ing week!? I'm always typing their name on these posts, and I always think "Who the Hell watches this stuff?" This show profiles actual CMT viewers (okay, second question answered) and their unique hobbies and lifestyles.


Saturday, 6/2

Hex; BBC America. 6 pm. Season premiere.
I caught the pilot of the show last summer, and it looked good. Kind of a more serious Buffy. I haven't gotten to the rest of the season yet, but I'll be taping this season as well.


Sunday, 6/3

Entourage has its season finale at 9 pm. It's okay, Season Four will be here in two weeks.

Mystery!; PBS. 8 pm (check local time). Season premiere.
The twenty-seven season begins.

Army Wives; Lifetime. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Kim Delany and Catherine Bell star in this Mark Gordon (Grey's Anatomy) produced show about military spouses. Could be decent; could burn in flames.

Next Food Network Star; Food. 8 pm. Season Premiere.
Rachel Ray can't be everywhere, so they're still looking for the next stars.

Shot in the Dark; HBO. 9:30 pm. Special.
Entourage star Adrian Grenier directed this documentary about father/son relationships, which was driven by his own search to find his father. Looks good.

Trump's Latest WTF?

I'm sure glad The Donald finally came clean about why there is no Apprentice. Apparently, Trump felt he didn't have the time to do another, even though NBC asked him to (since the show has been "such a success").

I just can't believe it took him a full week to come up with that bull s h i t story...

But don't feel bad, he probably didn't have the time because he's pitching a "big" show that three networks are interested in.

You go, D!

Tweener Pleads Guilty

Normally, I try to keep the private lives of people to themselves, but since I'm a Prison Break fan (as are some people I know who read this):

Today, Lane Garrison ("Tweener") pleaded guilty to vehicular manslaughter and two counts of alcohol-related charges. In December, the SUV he was driving ran into a tree and killed a 17-year old boy. Two other teens in his car were injured. He tested positive for alcohol and cocaine. The maximum sentence is six years and eight months in a state prison.

It's horrible what happened and that it happened while he was under the influence, but it's easy to let things like that get out of hand. It's odd teens were with him, and it didn't sound as if they were more than casual acquaintances, so that makes it all the more like a situation that just kept building like a snowball. His former coworkers on Prison Break had nice things to say about him and the type of person he is and mentioned that this tragedy must be eating away at him.

Sounds like he made a horrible, horrible mistake, but he had the decency to take it like a man and plead guilty instead of trying to fight it in court. It's also nice to see someone own up to his mistakes, unlike a hotel heiress waste of space who is trying to get out of her (pretty light) commitment.

SIMPSONS 400th

In celebration of The Simpsons' season finale and 400th episode, FOX created a website that's extremely comprehensive (scenes, plot synopses, and wallpapers for every episode).

I don't have nearly enough time to do a lot of digging, but it's worth checking out.

http://www.thesimpsons.com/index.html

DVR Scheduler Additions

Looking at the upcoming recordings my DVR has for the next two weeks, I thought I should point out those shows that I don't have in my Premieres posts (that, I'll admit, I steal from TV Guide).

The Discovery Channel is airing eight eps of Planet Earth from 8 am to 4 pm Sunday, 5/20. I've said enough about the show, now it's your turn to do your part.

On Saturday, 5/20, from 2 am to 4 am, BBC America is airing the "Monday", "Tuesday", and "Wednesday" episodes of Worst Week of My Life. Sorry to say I don't know if it's the first or second season (first season was the week before the wedding, second was the week before the new baby), but it doesn't matter. It's a really funny (if silly) show about a man who tries to do the good and right thing but it seems as everything is conspiring against him as he progressively screws things up. The acting is great, and it also stars one of my favorite British actresses: the talented-- and beautiful-- Sarah Alexander. Check it out; I'll try to keep my eyes open for the rest of the week (Thurs-Sun) in case that airs in the future.

One of the best things about the summer is the lack of new shows on the major networks. Time to start expanding your viewing to the other 200+ channels you get. I'd start with BBC America and at least try out the [adult swim] stuff (I'll admit-- the new stuff is too "out there", but there are some good things) and then move on to other things that may interest you. You should also spring for the extra $10 or whatever and get HBO. They've got buttloads of new stuff coming up this year. And their percentage of quality programming is crazy-high.

There are a lot of "hidden gems" out there that are just waiting for you to find them (although, if you read-- and take advice from-- this blog, you're a leg up on others).

Creed Thoughts

In The Office finale, Creed mentioned that he had a blog. He gave an address a little too fast, so I figured it was probably just a plot point. But then, NBC does like to get it's web stuff out there (remember http://www.thetoddtime.com/ ?). Then Ryan said it was a hoax that he did to Creed because the stuff he wanted to write was too out there, so then I knew it was just a plot point.

But wait-- Creed really does have a blog on nbc.com. My friend, Brian, found it and sent me the link. Check it out, it's great. And it ties into the beach party episode. It also doesn't have any video (unlike thetoddtime.com), so even Old Man can enjoy:

http://blog.nbc.com/CreedThoughts/

Quick Fall Schedule Notes

I'm extremely anal-retentive, so I actually make an Excel spreadsheet of the Fall Schedules when I learn of them. But it's a huge help when I have to plan for what I'm watching as well.

And it gave me some interesting thoughts as I made up the one for this Fall:

CBS is sitting on its heels. During the week, the only new shows are in the timeslots of new shows (that failed) last year. Big Bang Theory takes the place of The Class, Cane takes the place of Smith (and 3lbs), and Kid Nation takes the place of Jericho. Yeah, they're one of the higher-rated networks right now, but ask NBC how sitting on your laurels works. They're still suffering for not looking to find the next Friends and ER when they should have been.

Speaking of NBC, there's only one night there isn't some sort of change: Sunday, since football takes up the whole night. (Saturday doesn't count-- that's a dead night for the networks.) You can also see how much has been put on Heroes. Three of their four new shows have some sort of sci-fi thing going on (enhanced humans, time travel). Their shows all looked good from the clips, but we all know how little the networks actually regard something that is extra-human/sci-fi.

ABC is not losing the "buzz-factor" it had over other networks (Lost, Housewives, Grey's) without a fight. They're debuting eight shows this Fall (the most). You know they're hoping people talk about Private Practice like they do Grey's, and, from what I've heard from critics who sampled pilots, Pushing Daisies will have Lost type buzz. They're taking a huge chance with Wednesday nights with all-new shows airing all night (again pinning hopes on Grey's fans to watch Practice).

FOX, as usual, has a light Fall (since their big hits: Idol and 24 debut in January). Lots of changes as nothing stuck last year (except 'Til Death, which probably got a reprieve because they're hoping it'll mesh with Back to You).

And The CW is actually debuting this season since last season was a UPN/WB mash-up that didn't have time for a pilot process. They're debuting six new shows and keeping the "hits" in place. But will Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars fans give the network a chance? Gilmore was on its last legs, and Mars never had decent ratings, but fans are pissed both shows are now over. And fans of those shows were extremely loyal. And what they've got doesn't interest me (a mid-'30s male) too much other than Reaper (a "genre" show in the Buffy vein).

Frankly, I'm not really excited about any of the shows (like I was for Heroes last year and Prison Break the year before). There are some that look good, but nothing must-see yet. Of course, once I learn more and read the preview articles in the newspaper and magazines, things will pop, but I kinda miss having that one show I waited all summer for.

And I'm curious as to what happened to the big buzz pilot (other than Private Practice): the Americanized Football Wives. For that matter, what happened to the Americanized Life on Mars? Both shows are BBC hits that have done well for BBC America.

Anyway, if you want a look at the schedule all put together, e-mail me at teameckblog@charter.net, and I'll send the Excel file back.

Premieres, Finales, and Notables May 21-27, 2007

And the official 2006-2007 TV season comes to a close on Wednesday (coinciding with the Lost and American Idol. Coincidence?)

Monday, 5/21

Season Finales:
24; FOX 7-9 pm CST. Jack's worst day (at least according to fans) finally ends.
Heroes; NBC 8pm.
The Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman; ABC, 8:01.
Law & Order: Criminal Intent; NBC. 9 pm. The last new ep airing on NBC (next season will first-run on the USA Network).


Tuesday, 5/22

Season Finales:
NCIS; CBS. 7 pm.
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit; NBC, 9 pm.
Boston Legal; ABC, 9:01 pm.
Dancing With the Stars; ABC, 7-9:01 pm
And an oddity: Law & Order: Criminal Intent also airs tonight at 8 pm. Don't know if it's a repeat of Monday's ep, or if it's a Part 2. If you're a fan, it won't hurt check it out tonight just in case.

Series Finale:
CW killed fans (so soon after Gilmore Girls' non-renewal) when it didn't renew Veronica Mars. The last ep airs tonight from 7-9.

Hey! A new show:
On the Lot; FOX. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
A movie-making competition brought to you by Mark Burnett and Steven Spielberg. Actors and directors you've actually heard of judge the creations.


Wednesday, 5/23:

Season Finales:
Hustle; AMC, 9 pm
And the little shows that could: American Idol (FOX 7-9; although the last five minutes is really all you need to watch) and Lost (ABC, 8-10).


Thursday, 5/24:

Season Finale:
Penn & Teller: Bull!; Showtime, 9 pm.


So You Think You Can Dance; FOX. 7 pm. Season Premiere.

John Safran vs. God; Sundance. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Safran hosts a look at religion in the world today. This week: Muslims in England.


Friday, 5/25
Take a break from the finales and premieres with a Star Wars marathon on Cinemax. All six movies play in order, beginning at 2 pm.


Saturday, 5/26

Season Finales:
Robin Hood; BBC America. 8 pm
Wild At Heart; BBC America. 9 pm

The Wire fans may want to check out BET at 7 pm as it airs David Simon's pre-The Wire look at Baltimore's drug underworld in the 6 part mini-series that aired on HBO in 2000.


Sunday, 5/27

Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee; HBO. 8 pm. Special.
HBO adapts Dee Brown's history of the Indian nation's hardships in the 1800's. This movie got lots of good buzz from critics, many of whom said it was essential viewing. And it's so odd that HBO doesn't do an excellent job, I'd check it out even without the critical endorsements.

USA runs an 18-hour Monk marathon, beginning at 8 am.

Upfront Clip sites

Links to clips to ABC's new shows.
Pushing Daisies looks good. I dig the casts of Private Practice and Big Shots. Eli Stone looked okay. And Miss Guided just may the ABC show I'm looking forward to the most.

Check out the other clips, but prepare to be underwhelmed:

http://abc.go.com/fallpreview/schedule



And here's CBS's new shows. (Sorry, but it's on InnerTube and has commercials-- boooooooo, CBS!). I thought ABC's clips were uninspired, but CBS' takes the cake. Check out Kid Nation as that's the only one that even looks vaguely interesting.

And Big Bang Theory? Oh poor, poor Johnny Galecki... What has your agent gotten you into? CBS cancelled The Class for that piece of sh**? I'm praying it's better than what I just saw.

http://www.cbs.com/innertube/player.php?cat=all&vid=&format=&auto=0

CW Sked

And, finally, CW:

Following is The CW's 2007-2008 prime-time schedule.

Monday
8-8:30 pm Everybody Hates Chris
8:30-9 pm Aliens in America
9-9:30 pm Girlfriends
9:30-10 pm The Game

Tuesday
8-9 pm Beauty and the Geek
9-10 pm Reaper

Wednesday
8-9 pm America's Next Top Model
9-10 pm Gossip Girl

Thursday
8-9 pm Smallville
9-10 pm Supernatural

Friday
8-10 pm Friday Night SmackDown!

Sunday
7-7:30 pm CW Now
7:30-8 pm Online Nation
8-9 pm Life is Wild
9-10 pm America's Next Top Model


And the link to the press release:
http://community.tvguide.com/blog-entry/TVGuide-Editors-Blog/Look-Hottest-Fall/Cw-Announces-Fall/800015383

FOX Sked

And FOX... Remember, the net has two seasons: before American Idol and after American Idol. Why they announce the 2008 sked now is beyond comprehension, since they always make changes before January...


FOX Prime-time Schedule Fall 2007:

Monday
8 pm: Prison Break
9 pm: K-Ville

Tuesday
8 pm: New Amsterdam
9 pm: House

Wednesday
8 pm: Back to You
8:30 pm: 'Til Death
9 pm: Bones

Thursday
8 pm: Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
9 pm Kitchen Nightmares

Friday
8 pm: The Search for the Next Great American Band
9 pm: Nashville

Saturday
8 pm: Cops
8:30 pm Cops
9 pm America's Most Wanted: America Fights Back
11 pm: Mad TV
12 am: Talk Show with Spike Feresten

Sunday
7 pm: The OT (NFL post-game)
8 pm The Simpsons
8:30 pm: King of the Hill
9 pm: Family Guy
9:30 pm: American Dad


FOX Prime-time Schedule Beginning January 2008:

Monday
8 pm: K-Ville (January)/Prison Break (Spring)
9 pm: 24

Tuesday
8 pm: American Idol
9 pm: House

Wednesday (January)
8 pm: Back to You
8:30 pm ’Til Death
9 pm: American Idol

Wednesday (Spring)
8 pm: Back to You
8:30 pm: The Return of Jezebel James
9 pm: American Idol Results Show
9:30 pm: 'Til Death

Thursday
8 pm: Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
9 pm: Canterbury's Law

Friday
8 pm: Bones
9 pm: New Amsterdam

Saturday
8 pm: Cops
8:30 pm: Cops
9 pm America's Most Wanted: America Fights Back
11 pm: Mad TV
12 am: Talk Show with Spike Feresten

Sunday
7 pm: King of the Hill
7:30 pm: American Dad
8 pm: The Simpsons
8:30 pm: Family Guy
9 pm: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

And the press release link:

http://community.tvguide.com/blog-entry/TVGuide-Editors-Blog/Look-Hottest-Fall/Fox-Announces-Fall/800015358

CBS Sked

Sorry I'm behind.



Here's what CBS plans to do this Fall.


The following is the 2007-2008 CBS Television Network Prime-time schedule:

MONDAY
8 pm How I Met Your Mother
8:30 pm The Big Bang Theory
9 pm Two and a Half Men
9:30 pm Rules of Engagement
10 pm CSI: Miami

TUESDAY
8 pm NCIS
9 pm The Unit
10 pm Cane

WEDNESDAY
8 pm Kid Nation
9 pm Criminal Minds
10 pm CSI: NY

THURSDAY
8 pm Survivor
9 pm CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
10 pm Without a Trace

FRIDAY
8 pm Ghost Whisperer
9 pm Moonlight
10 pm Numbers

SATURDAY
8 pm Crimetime Saturday
9 pm Crimetime Saturday
10 pm 48 Hours: Mystery

SUNDAY
7 pm 60 Minutes
8 pm Viva Laughlin
9 pm Cold Case
10 pm Shark

And here's the press release link:
http://community.tvguide.com/blog-entry/TVGuide-Editors-Blog/Look-Hottest-Fall/Cbs-Announces-Fall/800015251

Upfront Odds and Ends

CBS made an early announcement that How I Met Your Mother got a third season (kickass!!!). After last night's finale, I'm more in love with this show than ever.

CBS also announced that Jericho is not coming back. Neither is Close to Home (serves them right for killing off Christian Kane's character) or The Class.

It also announced it is picking up Viva Laughlin (A BBC import), Moonlight (featuring a vampire P.I.), Cane (Jimmy Smits stars in the rum-running "Latin Sopranos"), and Swingtown (about swingers in the '70s). I guess they're actually trying get away from the crime investigations a little.

We'll see what the CBS sked looks like tomorrow at their official presentation.


In CW news, Smallville, Supernatural, One Tree Hill, Girlfriends, and The Game join Everybody Hates Chris and get renewed. And that's it for All of Us. Of course, the show everyone is waiting on, Veronica Mars, wasn't announced. We should know sometime by the end of the week.


As expected, no one laughed at ABC's Geico-inspired Cavemen trailer. Expect this show to(probably deservedly) get kicked around by every critic and magazine until it ultimately gets cancelled (I predict in mid-October).

And ABC's Pushing Daisies gained tons of buzz. Michael Ausiello watched the pilot and loved it (he's got usually good taste-- even if he's a little too obsessed with some shows).

The ABC 2007 Schedule

MONDAY:
8:00 pm Dancing with the Stars
9:30 pm Sam I Am
10:00 pm The Bachelor

TUESDAY:
8:00 pm Cavemen
8:30 pm Carpoolers
9:00 pm Dancing with the Stars the Results Show
10:00 pm Boston Legal

WEDNESDAY:
8:00 pm Pushing Daisies
9:00 pm Private Practice
10:00 pm Dirty Sexy Money

THURSDAY:
8:00 pm Ugly Betty
9:00 pm Grey's Anatomy
10:00 pm Big Shots

FRIDAY:
8:00 pm Men in Trees
9:00 pm Women's Murder Club
10:00 pm 20/20

SATURDAY:
8:00 pm Saturday Night College Football

SUNDAY:
7:00 pm America's Funniest Home Videos
8:00 pm Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
9:00 pm Desperate Housewives
10:00 pm Brothers & Sisters


Two half-hour comedies... Amazing.

Here's the official (and lengthy) press release:
http://community.tvguide.com/blog-entry/TVGuide-Editors-Blog/Look-Hottest-Fall/Abc-Announces-Fall/800015029


Here's what I've touted before: Michael Ausiello's minute-by-minute account of the ABC presentation:
http://community.tvguide.com/blog/TVGuide-Editors-Blog/Ausiello-Report/700000049

The NBC Upfront trailers

I checked out the trailers of the new shows on nbc.com.

Journeyman: looks as good as it sounds on paper.
Lipstick Jungle: good cast, blah trailer.
Chuck: It looks better than I had even hoped.
Life: Had no interest in the show until I saw the trailer; love the humor.
Bionic Woman: I knew I'd check it out, but this looks real interesting.

Here's the link to the videos:
http://www.nbc.com/Fall_Preview/video/#mea=103740


And here's what Matt Roush (the critic I tend to agree with most) thinks about the skeds of both ABC and NBC:
http://community.tvguide.com/blog/TVGuide-Editors-Blog/Roush-Dispatch/700000048

NBC Sched 2007-2008

Not a lot of time here, but I thought it was my duty to put what little I could in a post.
Here's the NBC schedule for next season per the upfronts today.


NBC PRIME-TIME SCHEDULE FOR FALL 2007-08 *New programs in CAPS (with the exception of "ER")

MONDAY
8-9 pm Deal or No Deal
9-10 pm Heroes
10-11 pm JOURNEYMAN

TUESDAY
8-9 pm The Biggest Loser
9-10 pm CHUCK
10-11 pm Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

WEDNESDAY
8-9 pm Deal or No Deal
9-10 pm BIONIC WOMAN
10-11 pm LIFE

THURSDAY
8-8:30 pm My Name Is Earl
8:30-9 pm 30 Rock
9-9:30 pm The Office
9:30-10 pm Scrubs
10-11 pm ER

FRIDAY
8-9 pm 1 vs 100/THE SINGING BEE
9-10 pm Las Vegas
10-11 pm Friday Night Lights

SATURDAY
8-9 pm Dateline NBC
9-11 pm Drama Series Encores

SUNDAY (Fall 2007)
7-8 pm Football Night in America
8-11 pm NBC Sunday Night Football

SUNDAY (January 2008)
7-8 pm Dateline NBC
8-9 pm Law & Order
9-10 pm Medium
10-11 pm LIPSTICK JUNGLE

And for details, here's the whole press release:
http://community.tvguide.com/blog-entry/TVGuide-Editors-Blog/Look-Hottest-Fall/Nbc-Announces-Fall/800014976

Premieres, Finales, and Notables May 14-20, 2007

Monday, 5/14

Season Finales:
Everybody Hates Chris; CW, 7:00 CST
How I Met Your Mother; CBS, 7:00. Ted & Robin have a secret, and Barney spends the entire reception of Lily and Marshall's wedding trying to pry it out of them. And the episode ends on not only a cliffhanger, but a cliffhanger to a sentence.
All of Us; CW, 7:30.
Two and a Half Men; CBS, 7:30.
The Game; CW, 8:00.
CSI: Miami; CBS, 9:00.

And the series finale of The King of Queens; CBS, 8:00 (1 hour).


Tuesday, 5/15

Season Finales:
Bullrun; Spike, 9:00.
Driving Force; A&E, 9:00.

And what was a season finale up until two weeks ago when it became a series finale: Gilmore Girls; CW, 7:00.


Wednesday, 5/16

Season Finales (I'm betting a couple are series finales; they just don't know it yet):
According to Jim; ABC, 7:00.
Thank God You're Here; NBC, 7:00.
Bones; FOX, 7:00.
Crossing Jordan; NBC, 8:00.
Medium; NBC, 9:00.
America's Next Top Model; CW, 7:00.
Criminal Minds; CBS, 8:00.
CSI: NY; CBS, 9:00.


Thursday, 5/17:

Season Finales:
The Office; NBC, 7-8 pm. Michael, Jim, and Karen are up for a promotion. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say the person introduced this year, the actress without a long-term commitment to the show as well as the one who shot a pilot this spring will get the promotion (Karen). But then, the show has thrown a wrench into things before. And for those of you into the whole thing: Jim & Pam's relationship is addressed in some fashion.
Scrubs; NBC, 8-9 pm. J.D. has to decide if he wants to pursue Elliot or reconcile with Kim.
Smallville; CW, 7:00. Someone major dies. I'm gonna suspect it's not Clark, not Lana, and not Lex. Poor, poor Chloe...
Ugly Betty; ABC, 7:00.
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation; CBS, 8:00.
ER; NBC; 9:01.
Supernatural; CW, 8:00.

And a notable: Lost: The Answers (ABC, 9:07) is a clip show which summarizes the goings-on of the castaways and The Others before the big finale next week (where at least five people die).


Friday, 5/18:

Season Finales:
America's Funniest Home Videos; ABC, 7:00. This show still has seasons? I thought they just repackaged the crap from years ago...
Instant Star; The N, 7:00.
Law & Order; NBC, 9:00.
Numb3rs; CBS, 9:00.

And a premiere:
National Bingo Night; ABC, 8:00. God, that hurt my fingers to type. Seriously, ABC expects people to tune in to other people playing f-ing BINGO!!. And it probably will find some audience. Don't watch this crap. When you do, the networks think it's okay to air this garbage.


Saturday, 5/19:

Season Finales:
Mad TV; FOX, 10:00.
Saturday Night Live; NBC, 10:30.
Talk Show With Spike Feresten; FOX, 11:00.

And if you missed out on Heroes, The Sci-Fi Channel is airing 21 episodes (almost the entire season) starting at 9:00 am in preparation for the season finale on Monday, 5/21.

Sunday, 5/20:

Season Finales:
King of the Hill; FOX 6-7. The 11th season ends. Wow, I remember when it premiered...
The Simpsons; FOX, 7-8. The 4ooth episode. Amazing.
Desperate Housewives; ABC, 8:00.
Family Guy; FOX, 8:00.
American Dad; FOX, 8:30.
Brothers & Sisters; ABC, 9:02.
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition; ABC, 6:00 & 7:00.
Blood Ties; Lifetime, 9:00.


Grey's Anatomy; ABC, 8:00.

Media Watch Friday & Saturday

And the completion of my tracking of my media devouring for the week:

Friday:
Finished listening to the audiobook Star Wars: Cloak of Deception.
Finished the 300 graphic novel.
Finished the trade paperback of Superman: Up, Up and Away.
Listened to Sammy Hagar's Standing Hampton.
Watched Scrubs; "My Conventional Wisdom"; 5/10.
Watched American Dad; "When a Stan Loves a Woman"; 4/29.

Saturday:
Listened to The Lion King Broadway Musical soundtrack. Like three times... (my kids just got it, and we were in the car a lot).
Read the intro to The Cheater's Guide to Baseball.
Watched Boston Legal episodes (finished 1/9, and the entire 1/16 & 1/30 episodes).


Roundup:
All in all, a pretty light week (was pretty busy Sunday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday). I also listened to music, which doesn't happen very much. But you can kinda get an idea of what I watch/read in a typical week, and why I am such an excellent judge of media. :)

Darth Vader being a jerk

Another funny short. This one provided by pokerguy74.

Han Solo's torture

Lametastic84 posted this clip on YouTube. The joke is funny, if stretched a little too far.

10 Things I Hate About Commandments

Here is an extremely well done 1:18 long clip that poses the question: what if THE TEN COMMANDMENTS was a teen comedy.

NBC Makes it (Almost) Official

Michael Ausiello reports that a well-placed mole at NBC has confirmed that Scrubs will be back for a final 18 episode season on the network.

Rumor has it that if NBC pulled the plug on the show, ABC would have picked it up (the network actually produces the show) for the last season.

If NBC doesn't make it official soon, we should know the fate of the show next week at upfronts.

I'm going to try really hard to keep up with upfronts and report as I can. But you can always check tvguide.com, click in the news and views section, and then click on Michael Ausiello. He's always got the scoop as he reports on upfronts (in a usually comical manner).

Media Watch: Tuesday Through Thursday

Part Two of what I watch/read in a week.

Tuesday:
The Showbiz Show With David Spade; 5/3
How I Met Your Mother; "Something Borrowed"; 5/7
The New Adventures of Old Christine; 5/7
Moral Orel; "Repression"; 5/6
An hour of the audiobook Star Wars: Cloak of Deception.
About 35 minutes of a My Chemical Romance CD my friend lent me.

Wednesday:
Sherrybaby DVD
A few entries in The 101 Most Influential People Who Never Lived
An hour of the audiobook Star Wars: Cloak of Deception
Free Comic Book Day edition of Amazing Spider-Man "Swing Shift"
Free Comic Book Day edition of Legion of Super-Heroes in the 31st Century
Justice League of America #8
Justice Society of America #5

Thursday:
Finished The 101 Most Influential People Who Never Lived
Listened to an hour of the audiobook Star Wars: Cloak of Deception
Read a chapter of Star Wars: Legacy of the Force: Exile
Read the first chapter of the 300 graphic novel
The Office; "Beach Games"; 5/10
My Name Is Earl; "The Trial"; 5/10
Reno 911; 5/6

NBC Stops Playing the Waiting Game

Every season, there's one show that every critic loves. Usually, the show suffers from bad ratings and disappears.

This year, that show was Friday Night Lights. Eyes are on NBC's upfronts next week, where we'll see if it gets renewed.

But they decided not to make us wait. tvguide.com's Michael Ausiello reported a mere three hours ago that NBC has renewed the show for next year-- for a full 22 episode season!

Iron Man?

Iron Man was the first superhero I wished I could be. The armor was just too cool. Way, way back, in my earliest years of reading comic books, Iron Man was the one I had to read first when I bought a few comics.

I "grew out" of the character when he was handled so poorly (pretty much the '90s until today). Now, after the "Civil War" storyline Marvel did last year, Tony Stark's pretty much a dick.

So I'm looking forward to what I hope is "my" Iron Man for the upcoming film (especially because the direct to DVD animated movie was booooring).

This picture of the movie armor was on ew.com, so I hope it's legit. 'Cause it kicks all kinds of ass...

Media Week: Sunday and Monday

In the past week, I've had exchanges with two of my friends about the sheer amount of media I devour in a typical day. One friend of mine just came out and said "Do you ever just do nothing?" And I, honestly, don't. It's pretty sad.

My other friend got to hear about my dilemma when I have the house to myself for a few hours. Do I watch something in the living room on the DVR (which needs to be cleaned out from time to time) on the big TV? Do I go downstairs to my Fortress of Solitude and watch a tape or DVD while I straighten out my collections? Do I try to catch up on the few websites I stay up on? If I'm on the computer, can I watch something on the TV in the other room? Should I bring the small TV/VCR to the computer room, so I can surf/blog while something's on I can watch?

So yeah, I don't ever really shut down.

So this (and subsequent posts for the week) will kinda lay out what I watch/read in a week. I know I talk TV most of the time, but I am more rounded than that.

For the record: I'm not going to list the websites (tvguide.com, newsarama.com, and the library website) or the magazines I read. And I skim the daily paper, but I usually knock it out in a half-hour, so it's not like I read more than dozen articles a day.

Anyway, here goes. It's, actually, pretty light so far.
If I know the episode title, I'll include it. The dates are when the ep aired:

Sunday, May 6

Ugly Betty, "Secretaries Day", 5/3
Bronx Bunny, 4/25
Desperate Houswives, 5/6
Brothers and Sisters, 4/29
A chapter of Star Wars: Legacy of the Force: Exile.

Monday, May 7

The trade paperback Batman: As The Crow Flies
The first story in the trade paperback Superman: Up, Up and Away
Listened to about an hour's worth of the audiobook of Star Wars: Cloak of Deception.
Watched the DVD of Casino Royale

ABC's Bold Move

Fans, creators, and the network did the impossible: they pulled off a win-win-win for Lost.

Producers of the show had wanted ABC to agree to an end point. This would allow them to tell the story they wanted to tell.

ABC didn't want one of their cash cows to just up and leave when money and ratings were to be had.

Fans wanted some comfort that the show still had a direction.

On Monday, ABC announced that Lost would be back for three more, shortened, seasons. The sixteen episode seasons would run from February to May without repeats.

It's a big move for the network. And it's showing a potential shift in network thinking, allowing a show to run shorter seasons without interruptions.

I don't watch the show (yet), but I find the move encouraging. The producers can now put the pieces in place to tell the story they want to tell. The fans can continue to watch without feeling the show is spinning its wheels. And the network has three more seasons of the show with an easy way to schedule it.

This Week's Notables Addendum

This week has a few notables I didn't point out because TV Guide didn't have them. Thank goodness for the DVR scheduler...

Easily enough, they all air on Saturday, May 12.

The fourth episode of Green Wing airs on BBC America Saturday from 4-5 am . I mentioned a few weeks ago that I was a bit upset that the network hasn't been airing it regularly, but I did recommend recording the first three eps that aired. And 'cuz I got yer back, I'm telling you about the fourth.

And it's a good one. It's Joanna's birthday, and she thinks the hot IT stud gave her a gift, and it was actually from lower-than-geek Dr. Statham. Plus, it is revealed that Guy has rated all the women in the hospital, and Caroline is mad she didn't rate higher.


Also on Saturday, from 6am-11am, the Sundance Channel will air the entire third (and final) season of Slings and Arrows. I haven't watched it yet, but I was hooked from the first episode of the series, especially with Paul Gross' work. I couldn't take my eyes off the screen.


Finally, I don't want to hype it beyond all expectations, but I really believe the "Return of the King" episode of The Boondocks that is airing on Saturday on the Cartoon Network/[adult swim] from 10:30-11:00 pm is one of the best half-hours of television I watched all last year-- and if I was pinned down, I would rank it as the one of the best I've ever seen.

It's kind of an alternate history episode that poses the question: what would Martin Luther King, Jr. think of the state of African Americans today. When the ep first aired, I had just finished a book written by a reformed Crips (or was it Bloods?) member who related his life story, and what he had learned from many stints in jail. One of his main arguments about why black people can never get ahead is because they are held down by whites-- something I would agree with. I'm not sure if it's true on a small, personal level, but I do believe on a large corporate or government level, it's true. But I also felt that argument was missing something.

This Boondocks episode fills in the blanks a bit when it's pretty laid out there that black people cause as much damage to themselves as any other race does. King's reaction to how some party members at a rally are acting really doesn't pull any punches. I don't want to ruin it for anyone, but I was shocked initially, and then the point of the scene hit me right between the eyes. Too bad not enough people watched it; or that most of the ones that did, won't "get it" (sort of what Dave Chappelle realized about peoples' reactions to The Chappelle Show). It's a very good story interlaced with profanity and the "N-Word" as well as jokes (the show is a comedy after all). But, like shows such as Chappelle's Show and South Park, the heart of the story can be missed when all people see are the jokes.

And the episode was also a great tribute to the man who had done so much for African Americans-- and Americans in general. And that was the whole point to the episode. No one has really done a good "holiday episode" about Martin Luther King, Jr. Day (when this episode first aired), and, sadly, no one probably ever will. Especially since The Boondocks set the bar so high.

This episode gets my highest recommendation. If you tried Boondocks and didn't like it, give this episode a try. The tone is a little different from the other episodes, and it's worth trying again for.

And if you haven't tried the show-- shame on you! Are you not reading what I'm writing? Do I do this for nothing?

Premieres and Notables, April 7-13, 2007

Sorry it's been so long-- rough week. And I've got to do this post quick-like...


Monday, 5/7

The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS, 7:30 CST) and Girlfriends (CW, 8:30) have their season finales.


Tuesday, 5/8

George Lopez (ABC, 7:00), The Unit (CBS, 8:00), and Tori & Dean: Inn Love (Oxygen, 9:30) all have their season finales.


Wednesday, 5/9

Jericho (CBS, 7:00) has a death in its season finale, and the 100th ep of Mail Call (History, 10:00) is also its season finale.


Thursday, 5/10

NBC continues it's "supersized" Thursday. Earl's self-improvement the past few weeks may take a bad turn on the season finale of My Name Is Earl (NBC, 7:00). Michael takes the crew on a staff outing at Lake Scranton and creates a competition to find his successor (he's being considered for a corporate position; why would he think he wouldn't get it?) on The Office (NBC, 7:40). And on Scrubs (NBC, 8:20), J.D. runs into a pregnant Kim, who, if you remember, told J.D. she had a miscarriage.

Without a Trace also wraps up its fifth season tonight (CBS, 9:00). Part One of the Supernatural (CW, 8:00) season finale airs.

Traveler; ABC. 9:01 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Two friends pull a prank at an NY museum. A bomb goes off in the museum the same day. Now the two are on the run from the FBI, and their only alibi has disappeared-- and he might have set them up in the first place.


Friday, 5/11

P. Diddy Presents the Bad Boys of Comedy (HBO, 11:00), Ghost Whisperer (CBS, 7:00), and Close to Home (CBS, 8:00) have their season finales.


Saturday, 5/12

My Friends Tigger and Pooh; Disney. 9:00 am. Series Premiere.
Christopher Robin didn't make the cut in this CG animated series. Now, the human of the group is a six-year-old girl named Darby.


Sunday, 5/13

Survivor: Fiji (CBS, 7-10:00) picks the latest winner in its season finale, and Seventh Heaven (CW, 7:00) has its second (and final) series finale.

Premieres and Notables April 30-May 6, 2007

Monday, 4/30

Barney "comes on down" and is a contestant on The Price Is Right on an episode of How I Met Your Mother. Knowing the show is high-quality, you should know this is no mere stunt... (CBS, 7 pm CST).

Hiro and Ando teleport five years into the future on Heroes. I'm a total sucker for alternate reality episodes of TV shows and issues of comic books. I've got to watch this show in the summer... (NBC, 8 pm CST).


Tuesday, 5/1

After a two-month hiatus, Veronica Mars returns with a four episode mystery-- and big hopes of getting renewed for next season. (CW, 8 pm CST).

Brando; TCM. 7 pm CST. Special.
A look at Marlon Brando's work and the influence he had on actors. The final part of this special airs Wednesday at the same time.

And, hopefully, my friend Monica still reads this blog because Jon Bon Jovi mentors the final five on American Idol (FOX 7 pm).


Wednesday, 5/2

Perfect Housewives; BBC America. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Britain's Martha Stewart, Anthea Turner, mentors two people each week on the art of homemaking.

American Masters; PBS. 8 pm (check local listings). Season Premiere.
Profile of Atlantic Records founder Ahmet Ertegun.

And Jon Bon Jovi takes the stage tonight on American Idol (FOX 8 pm).


Thursday, 5/3

TV Guide and My Name is Earl are running a "scratch and sniff" promotion. Get your sniff card in the current TV Guide and then scratch when the numbers pop up on Earl. (NBC, 7 pm).

And the "backdoor" pilot of next years' Grey's Anatomy spin-off airs tonight (ABC, 8-10 pm) where Addison visits sunny California and gets offered a job. I don't watch the parent show, but I'll be tuning into the spin-off next season. Check out this cast: Kate Walsh, Tim Daly, Paul Adelstein, Taye Diggs, and many more I can't remember offhand. If it didn't have the Grey's connection, you could almost expect a show with this level of talent to fail, but it's spinning off one of the hottest shows on TV right now, so I think it'll be just fine.


Friday, 5/4

Bandits vs. Smokies; CMT. 8:30 pm. Series Premiere.
TV Guide describes this as Cops mixed with America's Funniest Home Videos. I bet I can describe it in just one word: sh**.


Saturday, 5/5

Mad TV does a riff on Brit & K-Fed's divorce. I think Mad has been weak this season, but Ike Berenholtz's K-Fed imitation has been a high point. (FOX 10 pm).

Saturday Night Live has its "best of 2006" clip show tonight. I wonder if they have enough laughs to fill a whole 90 minutes. Well, 3 minutes are a lock. Four words: dick... in... a... box. (NBC, 10:30).

TV Guide Channel airs Finale Fever (7 pm), a look at the upcoming finale season.


Sunday, 5/6

Saturday Night Live in the '90s: Pop Culture Nation; NBC. 8 pm. Special.
A look at the last decade this show was funny.

The Amazing Race: All Stars (CBS, 7 pm) has its last leg tonight.

TV odds and ends

So who's the cursed one? Nathan Filion, who many fans and critics believe is a completely capable leading man, but whose Firefly crashed and burned. Or Tim Minear, whose Wonderfalls and Firefly didn't even get air all thirteen of their episodes?

Maybe they're both cursed: Drive got the axe already. It aired, what, four episodes?


NBC.com revealed that Studio 60 will return on May 24, the day after the May sweeps officially ends. Bad news: it's missing sweeps (then again, maybe that's good news) and that NBC didn't make a big deal of its return.


ABC gets the "WTF are they thinking? award" this spring with it's shoddy treatment of Men in Trees by keeping it off the sked so it can air Notes From The Underbelly and October Road, two shows I just couldn't bring myself to keep watching. The thing is: Men In Trees has already been renewed, so it's not as if it's not strong enough to air now. But the plan is to use the episodes in the can next fall, so at least we'll get an extended season of Trees next year.

ABC did a similar move to Boston Legal a few years ago, and it worked. The only thing is, Boston Legal was bumped because the show that was tried out in its spot became a hit. The show: Grey's Anatomy. Not quite October Road or Underbelly.


[adult swim] had its upfront this week. The first news: as of July, it's airing seven days a week (Friday night was a regular Cartoon Network night-- like kids that age should be up watching TV at midnight).

On June 17, the Robot Chicken maniacs are airing a special Star Wars episode. And they got The Man himself, George Lucas, to lend his voice for the episode. You have to give Lucas credit for having a sense of humor about his creation. He's been pretty open about his love of some of the satires that have come down the pike-- especially the last few years.

Lucy, The Daughter of the Devil is finally getting a tryout as a series this summer. I watched the pilot last summer and thought it had potential.

Shows which will have another season: Morel Orel (yes!), Frisky Dingo (best news ever, but I don't know how they'll clean up the mess from Season One), Robot Chicken (a slam dunk), The Boondocks (brilliant), Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law (could never get into it, but I'll watch), Metalocalypse (killer!), The Venture Brothers (already knew it, but it's good to hear again), Squidbillies (meh), Assy McGee (double meh), Aqua Teen Hunger Force (duh...), Saul of the Molemen (I think I vomited a little in my mouth), Tim and Eric Awesome Show (I'll need a bucket for the vomit now).


You'd think the [adult swim] news would be the happiest thing I heard all week, but newsarama.com broke the news that made me happiest. Joss Whedon was so impressed with Bryan Lynch's writing on the Buffy-verse Spike comic book Shadow Puppets that he decided Lynch was the guy to help him launch an Angel Season Six miniseries.

I was kinda torn about the news at first. Here you have one of my all-time favorite television shows ever being brought back after what I thought was a fitting (if controversial) series finale and make it into a comic book. (Nothing wrong with comics; it's just not the same as the show though). But Whedon said the series will be what the plan was for Angel if it hadn't gotten cancelled. So I have to be all over it.

Unfortunately, IDW holds the rights to the Angel-centered comics, and their issues run an appalling $3.99 each, so I'll probably wait for the trade paperback(s) that reprint the planned 12-issue series (not that $4 is gonna crunch me, but I've pretty much been forced to drop every comic I read-- I'm down to about 1-1/2 a month-- so I can't justify blowing my cash on the most expensive books on the stands).

And if you need a little reminder, here's a pic from the final scene of Angel (minor spoiler alert-- just 'cause you know who's standing at the end-- doesn't mean one or more don't fall by the end credits, though):

God, I miss that show...

Quickie Movie Reviews

On Saturday, I watched Meet the Robinsons. Gotta say it was better than I expected.

The story follows an orphan who created (inadvertently) a time machine. It gets stolen, and a boy from the future arrives to help him retrieve it. The two flee back to the future where the orphan meets the odd Robinson family. They have an adventure, face their enemy, and deal with the fallout.

I found the film creative and entertaining enough for an adult (although I picked up on "the secret" pretty early on). The voices were the characters as opposed to easily recognized actors saying characters' lines. The animation was great. And it didn't talk down to kids. My 3 & 4 year olds liked it enough, and I would imagine any school-age kid would enjoy it as well.

Last night, the movies were all for me:

The first of my double-feature was Hot Fuzz. I liked Shaun of the Dead (a prior movie by the same talents) even though I'm not a fan of zombie movies (don't hate 'em, just am not interested), so I figured this one would be right up my alley.

In this film, Simon Pegg plays Nicholas Angel, the greatest police officer in London. He graduated at the top of his class, has earned countless commendations and awards, and his arrest record is 400% higher than any other office on the force. In other words, he's making everyone else look bad. So he is made a sergeant and send to a rural town that hasn't experienced any crime in 20 years. He's assigned the police chief's buddy-cop movie loving son (Nick Frost) as a partner, and they patrol the quiet countryside. Then the town undergoes a rash of accidents...

The movie is a mix of British mysteries and America shoot-'em-ups. Whereas I thought Shaun of the Dead was funny, Hot Fuzz was just amusing. There's nothing wrong with that, but I wanted to laugh more. It was also pretty slow at first, and the ending (the obligatory massive gun battle) went on a little too long.

But being a big fan of BBC America, it was great to see so many familiar faces on the big screen.

And the movie poster kicks ass.

And, finally, I actually paid money (albeit only $4) to see Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Film For Movie Theatres. If you haven't seen the [adult swim] show, this is most definitely not a good entry point. Like the free-flowing Dadaist TV series, this film was all over the place. The show has a fervent fan base (small as it is), so they were probably having nerdgasms galore watching this, and I'm happy for them.

I, on the other hand, find the show funny but am not a huge fan and believe the ten-minute episodes on [adult swim] are about the perfect length. But the movie is just under 90 minutes, so it was hard to keep the flow going throughout. Just like the TV show, there was little plot holding it all together. Even worse: I didn't feel there were any more great lines in the entire film as there are in any given episode of the show.

I will give writers/directors/creators Matt Maiellaro and Dave Willis credit for making the film in the same style and tone as the TV show. If you love the show, you should love the film. It was cool to see the guys not sell out-- even though the move will probably kill any hope for big box office. But then, rumor has it that the film wasn't even really greenlit. Maiellaro and Willis told the Cartoon Network execs that they had already begun making a movie, and they were allowed to continue since money, time, and energy had already been expended on it.

It was great to hear the voices again, particularly Dana Snyder as Master Shake. He's the highlight of the show as far as I'm concerned (he's the biggest dick, and gets the best lines). Dave Willis voiced Meatwad a little bit smarter than on the show, but his Carl (my second favorite character) was terribly underused (although his comment that his new "ZuBaz"-ish pants were made out of a material that wicks the sweat off his balls was the film's best line). And Carey Means did his usual great work as Frylock.

So anyway, check out the series at night on [adult swim] to get a feel for what this whole thing is all about, and if you love it, watch the film on DVD (I doubt the film will be in theatres much longer).

It, too, has a great poster:

So in the span of four days, I saw almost as many movies as I saw in the entirety of 2006. And Spider-Man 3 hasn't even opened yet...

A Comedic Perfect Storm

Somehow I lucked into watching the best episodes of the season of three comedies tonight. All in a row. I barely escaped with my life.

First off was the "Manic Monday" episode of Entourage. The main storyline followed Ari's descent (or is it ascent) into humanity. After last week's uncharacteristic protection of Lloyd, and this week's inability to fire an underperforming employee, Ari came to the realization that he is turning into a wuss. His therapist said he is actually making strides toward becoming a productive member of society, something that just makes him bristle in self-loathing.

His therapist goes on to tell him that he can continue on and improve his life or go back to being the ass she's seen him as for over a year.

Next scene: Ari, giddy as a school-girl, walks through his office and finds the underperforming worker in a conference room bragging about how well his eye surgery went. So Ari asks if he can do an eye test and grabs a marker and writes on the flipboard "Get the F*** out!" For added measure, Ari reiterates to the man (at the top of his voice, in case his hearing was as bad as his eyes) that he is fired and warns everyone else that goofing off will get them fired as well.

Not many actors could give the story the punch that Jeremy Piven did. He was all over the map: cocky, unsure, funny, compassionate, and he hit every feeling perfectly. Add to it Ari's characteristic body movements, and it made for the perfect episode.


After that, I watched the "My Big Fat Sober Wedding" episode of The New Adventures of Old Christine. Now, this isn't my favorite comedy, but I don't think it gets the credit it deserves. I think Julia Louis-Dreyfus is pretty underrated (at least buzz-wise) on the show. She really proved she deserves the Emmy on her mantle for the show with this episode.

Christine and the gang go to a wedding of a college buddy that had a crush on her. She elected herself to be the designated driver mainly to prove to the others that she can abstain from drinking at a reception. Let's just say it doesn't go well.

The whole episode showcased everything good about the show: the overly-vain Christine gets a boost and then the rug gets pulled out, Matthew finds himself doing the exact wrong thing, Richard keeps saying the wrong thing, the "Barbisms" (my favorite tonight was when she tells the bride she hasn't gone by the nickname "BJ" since college "for various reasons").

But the spotlight deservedly fell on Louis-Dreyfus, and the great writing allowed her plenty of opportunities to shine.


Finally, the repeat of the bunch. I hardly ever watch the same episode of any (non[adult swim]) show twice. I've got way too many other options and limited time. But I had to re-watch the "Robin Sparkles" episode of How I Met Your Mother.

Robin refuses to go to the mall with the others, so, naturally, they pry to get the reason out of her. The (always great) writing took us on a little journey of twists and turns: was she married at a mall, did she do porn at a mall, what could it be?

Turns out it was much more embarrassing: she was a teen pop star that gave performances at malls (think Debbie Gibson). The revelation and reactions by the rest of the cast were perfect enough, but the show went one step further: they actually filmed a video with Cobie Smulders dressed in the teenage '80s garb of a mall pop star singing her "minor" hit "Let's Go To The Mall".

Right there, you've got a great episode. But why not add a little something to it to make the episode, as Barney would say, "Legendary"?

While Robin hid her secret from the others, Marshall and Barney had a storyline of their own: the ever-escalating slap-bet. First Marshall got a slap in (with his great post-slap answer to Barney's astonishment at the size of his hand: "Dude, you've seen my penis..."). Then Barney got a rapid three-slap in on Marshall. Then it was all Marshall, with the finale of him actually knocking Barney off a chair with a slap-- and the threat of four more slaps to come.

Brilliant. This show has the best plotting and story beats of any comedy out there, and the cast gets tighter by the week. It's a crime the show is on the bubble (CBS would be morons to renew Rules of Engagement and not this).


So, there ya go. Three fantastic episodes of three great comedies-- and none are on NBC on Thursday.

And they say the comedy is dead...

And now for the worst...

Normally, I like to give my recommendations of the best TV has to offer. There's just so much out there, it's sometimes hard to find the really good stuff without some help.

But once in a while, I need to spout off on the worst that's out there.

I've already written about my disdain for MTV and VH1 shows. They're so Godawful, I've banned the networks from my weekly premieres posts.

This week, I saw (parts of) two shows that I just can't go without telling you to avoid them at all costs.

First is the syndicated "entertainment news" show The Insider. What a pile of crap this is. The episode I stumbled on mentioned Alec Baldwin's tirade on his daughter for damn-near ten minutes in a half-hour (multiple reports as well as countless "when The Insider returns, see who Alec Baldwin was ranting on" and then playing the clip over and over.

It's tragic that the show has to be such garbage. It actually has a number of good people on the show who somehow got roped into this gig and have turned into sensationalistic regurgitators of useless pop non-events.

Truly awful. Pat O'Brien really should sit and watch himself on this show and then justify to a court why he hasn't taken his own life yet. Don't laugh, Lara Spencer, you've certainly fallen on hard times after Good Morning America, yourself.

Next, I was watching an episode of Fuse's The Whitest Kids U'Know, which I've found to be pretty funny. It's a sketch show in The Kids in the Hall and The State vein. Some skits are good, some bad, some hilarious, some "too much". So I start playing the episode, and there's a funny skit about a show that just has people with great asses dancing in front of a music video. There are judges with names like "Honey" and "Precious" and a useless host that said the more the dancers took off, the better their odds of winning the competition and more money. It was a total rip on the moronic competition shows that are all over the airwaves taken to the next extreme.

Except it wasn't a skit. My DVR Scheduler recorded what was supposed to be The Whitest Kids U'Know, but was actually an episode of Pants Off Dance Off. I actually watched this crap for five minutes before I realized that something was wrong (namely, the skit was too long for the normal format of the show and none of the main actors were on it yet). This was an actual show. Unbelievable.

So, hey, avoid these shows if you value your time and intelligence.

Just consider this a public service I am offering my loyal readers.