Anniversary Post

Somehow, some way, this blog has made it to post #500.
(Granted I cheated a little; Post #499 is written, but it won't be "published" until the 31st.)

I began this because I was increasingly getting asked when new TV shows were premiering or ending, and I thought I could put the info in one place for all the people who asked.

I, obviously, always have something to say as well. Although I think I've failed a bit in those regards as I just can't find all the time I need to do this blog the way I would love to.

But it gives me a voice. It lets me get a little of that "writing bug" out there. Ask my friends, and they'll tell you that once the gates are opened on a subject I am interested in-- and I have a little time to type-- that I will end up writing an essay on most any subject. I hope I can finally bring some of that in the next 500 posts. We'll see.

Thanks to my friends who've stuck through this; even when there was one post a week that just regurgitated the premieres from the magazines I subscribe to.

Thanks to Brian, who probably unknowingly pushed me into this. We'd get into e-mail discussions that could fill a book, so I thought I'd spare him a little by posting my thoughts here instead of filling his InBox (which I still do fairly regularly). He's been my most consistent wall to bounce thoughts off. Brian's been there since the beginning.

Thanks too, to Tom, who I e-mail less regularly, but it usually gets deep when we do. He brings out the thinker in me, and I appreciate it.

And to my friend Allan, who came on a little late, but now that he's got high speed Internet, he's catching up. He's been a fantastic cheerleader. He always lets me know when he likes something I've posted.

And a final thanks to someone I only know as "Equisbuffy", who has taken the time to e-mail me and comment once in a while. I'm glad someone I don't know personally finds this blog interesting enough to read.

Okay, on to Post #501...

Premieres and Notables, January 26- February 1, 2009

Didn't get my Entertainment Weekly today, so I may have to make an addendum later...

Monday, 1/26

Olivia; Nickelodeon. 10:30 am CST. Series Premiere.
All I know is it's about a pig.

Superstars of Dance (NBC; 7 pm). Season Finale.

American Experience; PBS. 8 pm (check local listings). Season Premiere.

The Closer; TNT. 8 pm. Mid-season return.
...For all of five episodes.

Trust Me; TNT. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Ad-men best friends Eric McCormack and Tom Cavanagh have to deal with the fact that one gets a promotion and the other doesn't.
I believe Cavanagh is one of the most engaging TV actors out there, so I'll be checking it out.


Tuesday, 1/27

Baldwin Hills; BET. 9 pm. Season Premiere.


Wednesday, 1/28

Life on Mars; ABC. 9 pm. Mid-season return/new day.


Thursday, 1/29

Hell's Kitchen; FOX. 8 pm. 5th Season Premiere.

Toughest Cowboy; 10 pm. Series Premiere.
Yet another Mark Burnett-produced reality competition...


Sunday, 2/1

Puppy Bowl V; Animal Planet. 2 pm. Special.
The puppies are back to give dog lovers and Super Bowl haters something else to watch.

Super Bowl; NBC. 5 pm. Special.
The biggest (American) sporting event of the year-- and it finally features a team I'm interested in. The Cinderella-story Arizona Cardinals face the legendary Pittsburgh Steelers.
And we all know that people who buy commercials spend stupid amounts of money on their ads as well as on the ad time, so that has become its own event within the event. --And for those of you who like movies, this is often the first look at the big action flicks of this year (remember the inertia Iron Man received after it's Super Bowl ad last year).

The Office; NBC. 9:30 pm (1 hr ep to air after Super Bowl, so if you're recording it, "go long").
[Seriously, record it to at least 11:30 in case the game goes into overtime.]
So, The Office gets coveted the post-Super Bowl slot.
What's on tap?
Jack Black and Jessica Alba in an interesting cameo appearance.
A young man falls for an older woman (played by Cloris Leachman).
Dwight leads a fire-training seminar.
And Michael is the "guest of honor" in an office roast.

BREAK Nearly Over

Normally a sad thing, but, in this case, the best outcome:

(old news by now, but I somehow missed it): FOX announced last week that Prison Break will sign off at the end of the season.

It returns April 17 for six episodes, but the run could be extended to eight to help the show have a proper ending.

It's bittersweet news for me as this show really cranked up my love for television and was the one that got me checking the internet for news as well as analyzing every episode with friends. In fact, I was writing to my friend Brian about it so much, it kinda pushed me into this whole blogging thing (as a way to not bombard his e-mail inbox with Prison Break info).

It was a fun show that had some poor stretches (which always stretched believability), but when it was good, it was very good. Some great acting, particularly by Peter Stormare and Robert Knepper, and great writing (that show could do suspense) will keep it as a favorite for me for a long time.

Premieres and Notables; January 19-25, 2009

Monday, 1/19

Will Work for Food; Food. 7:30 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Some dude gets his own show about the work that goes into procuring the food we put on the table. Or something like that. I don't know about you, but all the Food Network shows sound about the same to me.

Momma's Boys (NBC; 9 pm). Season Finale. The way I hear it; it most likely will be series finale.

Paranormal State; A&E. 9 pm. Season Premiere.


Tuesday, 1/20

Starting at 9 am CST on most network and cable news channels is the Inauguration of Barack Obama. Like him and his politics or not, you know this will be a speech to remember.

On Scrubs (ABC; 8 pm), Elmo and some of his Sesame Street friends help JD teach the interns. Only on this show could that work...


Wednesday, 1/21

Lie to Me; FOX. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Tim Roth stars as a guy who can can detect lies people tell in this crime series. Bound to be the latest FOX casualty that doesn't live up to its American Idol lead-in.

Lost; ABC. 8 pm. 5th Season Premiere.


Thursday, 1/22

Kitchen Nightmares (FOX; 8 pm). Season Finale.
This show was airing recently? Really?

Burn Notice; USA. 9 pm. Mid-season return.


Friday, 1/23

Electric Company; PBS. 4:30 (check local listings). Series Premiere.
The '70s classic is redone for the new millennium.

Wolverine and the X-Men; Nicktoons. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
The last thing I heard about this show was so long ago, I can't remember it. Something about Professor X disappearing and Wolverine having to lead the X-Men. I never was a big X-Men fan-- and Wolverine usually annoyed more than intrigued me, But I liked X-Men Evolution from a few years back, so I'll probably check this out.

FRIDAY NIGHT Premiere

Addendum to my previous premieres and notables list-- because TV GUIDE suuuuuucks and didn't mention it anywhere in this week's issue:

Friday Night Lights; NBC. 8 pm. 3rd Season Premiere
Yes, this is the season that aired on DirectTV in the Fall-- but it's new for everyone who doesn't have that TV provider.
I've heard from a number of sources that this season is an improvement over Season Two, and brings it back to being one of the best shows on TV. Recommended.

Take Some SOUP

I've written about The Soup a few times, and if you haven't checked it out, this week's episode is crazy.

I wrote to a friend of mine just this week that The Soup has all the reality show nonsense I can handle in one week. Thankfully, host Joel McHale brings a lot of humor to this clip show that proves that humanity is doomed to destruction.

I don't know what's worse about these reality shows: that the subjects of them are that repulsive/messed up-- or that people watch that crap week after week (and sometimes in all-day marathons).

And it's not limited to reality shows. This week's Clip of the Week comes from ABC's 20/20 and features one of the most jaw-dropping subjects I've ever heard about. I'd like to see what the kid thinks of that clip in 20 years.

Watch The Soup and see what I'm talking about.

This week's ep still repeats a few times. The network is E! (home of some of the worst of these types of shows) and here are the times (CST):
Monday, 2:30 am
Tuesday, 1:00 am
Tuesday, 7:00 am

Premieres and Notables; January 12-17, 2009

One of the biggest weeks of the year. So much for that break we've had the past few weeks when Holiday specials and repeats littered the airwaves.


Monday, 1/12

Kyle XY; ABC Family. 8 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.


Tuesday, 1/13

American Idol; FOX. 7 pm. 8th Season Premiere.
And the entire TV landscape changes again as FOX shows get drawn in-- and other networks just try to stay out of the way...
As for people like me who don't watch the show, we "get" to hear way way way more about this thing than we want to.
And for those of you who do watch, get ready for hours and hours of pure shit auditions until they actually get to the contest next month.

Chopped; Food. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Ted Allen hosts this new cooking competition.


Wednesday, 1/14

Make 'Em Laugh: The Funny Business of America; PBS. 7 pm (check local listings). Mini-series.
A 3-night look at the funniest Americans in the biz, hosted by Billy Crystal. The first installment looks at comic outsiders such as Harold Lloyd, Bob Hope, and Steve Martin.
I've heard good things about this series. Might be worth checking out.


Thursday, 1/15

The week's new Smallville (CW; 7 pm) is huge for a number of reasons. First, Clark is visited by three teens from the future. Teens who call themselves the Legion of SuperHeroes. This is geekgasm stuff here, people. Second, they're followed by future villain The Persuader. Third, the costumes these people wear are loyal to the comics-- but not silly-looking. And fourth, and most importantly, this episode was written by DC Comic writer Geoff Johns. Johns is who I would credit as being the most exciting writer in the super-tights business right now. He has a great respect for the past, but can tell stories in a very contemporary fashion. This is an episode worth checking out.

On CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS, 8 pm), William Petersen (Grissom) says goodbye as a series regular.

The Beast; A&E. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Patrick Swayze stars as an FBI agent who gets a rookie partner.
That's all I've got, people...


Friday, 1/16

Battlestar Galactica; Sci Fi. 9 pm. Season 4.5 (final) Premiere.
The final 10 episodes of the series begin tonight. Lots of wrapping up to do, beginning with the reveal of who is the 12th Cylon (which will happen in an early episode). Other things dealt with: Adama takes up drinking to deal with Tigh, Lee steps in to cover for Bill, and Kara must face the fact that she may be the ruin of humanity.

I devoured Seasons 2.0, 2.5, and 3 in a matter of two months, and will be getting to Season 4.0 in a couple of weeks, so I'm looking forward to catching up with everyone else by the end.
This is amazing television, folks. One of the most human shows on the air. The robots, spaceships, and other sci fi stuff is just background to the real things going on around it. Highly Recommended.


Saturday, 1/17

Solitary 3.0; FOX Reality. 8 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.


Sunday, 1/18

Big Love; HBO. 8 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.
Not as "yucky" as the premise would lead you to believe. This is a great family drama without all the mopiness of something like Brothers and Sisters. Season One was a fantastic look at the trials of a husband and father-- just multiplied by three. Season Two was more into the plot of avoiding the "camp" Bill and one of his wives came from, and was a bit of a disappointment to me. Sounds like they might be getting back to the family more this season. Recommended.

The L Word; Showtime. 8 pm. 6th (and final) Season Premiere.

Flight of the Conchords; HBO. 9 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.
I didn't catch all the episodes last season, but I saw was pretty good. Check it out.

The United States of Tara; Showtime. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Toni Collette stars in this Diablo Cody (Juno)-created series about a woman with three personalities.
I've heard good things, but I haven't checked out the premiere yet, so I'll just give a check it out.

Secret Diary of a Call Girl; Showtime. 9:30. 2nd Season Premiere.
Belle gets a protegee-- and falls in love.

Apple Revolutionizes Computing-- Again

Brilliant parody. Listen to every word...

Men Vs Women

Premieres and Notables; January 5-11, 2009

Lots and lots coming up, and not much time, so it'll be a quickie...

Monday, 1/5

Antiques Roadshow; PBS. 7 pm. 13th Season Premiere.

The Bachelor; ABC. 7 pm. Season Premiere.
Featuring the first single-dad bachelor. BFD.

DietTribe; Lifetime. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
A bride-to-be and four of her friends look to lose 30 lbs each before the big day.

True Beauty; ABC. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
A beauty contest where the contestants don't know that inner beauty also counts in it.


Tuesday, 1/6

Homeland Security USA; ABC. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Reality show featuring the Homeland officers.

The Biggest Loser: Couples; NBC. 7 pm. Season Premiere.

Scrubs; ABC. 8 & 8:30 pm. 8th Season Premiere.
NBC doesn't have this show to kick around anymore. ABC picked it for this 8th-- and final (for this cast anyway)-- season. Just wish ABC could have found a more compatible lead-in.

Nip/Tuck; FX. 9 pm. 5th Season Premiere.


Wednesday, 1/7

13-Fear is Real; CW. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
13 people tackle horrific challenges in a house in the woods. And-- big surprise-- the winner gets $66,666. Spoooooky...

Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns; TBS. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Leroy Brown opens a retirement home. I don't know what that means, but the Cult of Perry probably does.

Damages; FX. 9 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.
Glenn Close, Ted Danson, Marcia Gay Harden, William Hurt, Timothy Olyphant...
Do you really need any more reasons?


Thursday, 1/8

Greg Behrendt's Wake-Up Call; SOAPnet. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Just because I love the Entertainment Weekly write-up: "Couples get relationship advice from a guy whose show was initially meant for ABC but got dumped to SOAPnet. I guess ABC just wasn't that into him."


Friday, 1/9

Howie Do It; NBC. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Howie Mandel pranks people in this hidden camera series. Yawn.

Stargate Atlantis (Sci Fi; 8 pm). Series Finale.

Flashpoint; CBS. 8 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.
The summer show that got renewed for the regular season that has to come every few years.

Comedy Central Presents; Comedy Central. 9 pm. 13th Season Premiere.


Saturday, 1/10

The Graham Norton Show (BBC America; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Sunday, 1/11

24; FOX. 7 pm. 6th Season Premiere.
18 months after Season 5 ended, the show returns.

Tool Academy; VH1. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
I know I vowed to never mention a VH1 show in this blog, but you just have to love this title. Anyway, the show is about nine guys who are "tools" to their girlfriends, so they get sent to a relationship school to try to get straightened out.

Premieres and Notables; December 29, 2008- January 4, 2009

Monday, 12/29

Ron Howard: 50 Years in Film; TCM. 7 pm. Special.
TCM (which knows good movies-- and doesn't do tabloid crap) spends 90 minutes talking to Howard about his work.


Tuesday, 12/30

The 31st Annual Kennedy Center Honors; CBS. 8 pm. Special.
Recipients are: Barbra Streisand, Morgan Freeman, George Jones, Twyla Tharp, Pete Townshend, and Roger Daltrey.


Thursday, 1/1

Dear Genevieve; HGTV. 12 noon. Series Premiere.
Genevieve Gorder gets a new show. I think it has something to do with room/house makeovers.
Just 237 more makeover shows, and everyone's house will be perfect...

NBC reairs last season's finale of The Office, which introduced Amy Ryan's HR rep, who is told Kevin is "special" (and. amazingly, Kevin acts no different this ep than others; he's just looked at differently).


Sunday, 1/4

Superstars of Dance; NBC. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Now that Sunday Night Football is over, NBC decided to steal a little of FOX's American Idol and ABC's Dancing With the Stars to make yet another dance reality competition show.

Masterpiece Classic; PBS. 8 pm (check local listings). Season Premiere.
The newest season begins with Tess of the D'Ubervilles this week and next.

Sex Ed For a New Generation

I hope this works better here than it did on YouTube (don't know if it's my crappy computer or a crappy file). It's amusing.

It's Not Too Late...

...To get the best toy of the year.




What are you waiting for?
Get to your local department store!

Premieres and Notables; December 22-28; 2008

Before I get to the premieres, I just have to say bravo to TV Guide for finally putting a worthy cover out on the stands.

I used to think "pathetic" when I'd flip through the letters from fans gushing over the sexy cover boy (or sometimes girl) on some issue or another. But now I get it. This cover is great for three reasons:

1. How I Met Your Mother needs-- and deserves-- much more attention that it usually gets.

2. Neil Patrick Harris' Barney is the perfect "subject" for a cover like this.

3. Cobie Smulders and Alyson Hannigan are frakkin hot!

So let me say, publicly, "good job" to TV Guide right now.

--But that won't stop me from composing a "Why TV Guide sucks" post some time in the future...

Because it's been a long time coming.

BTW: Entertainment Weekly also has a pictorial of the entire cast of How I Met Your Mother reenacting some scenes from movies and life in 2008. Films include Indiana Jones and the Kingdom blah blah blah, Sex and the City, and then they also did a shot of the Men's Olympic swim team-- and the best: the guys of HIMYM as the Jonas Brothers.

Two major mags giving this show its props in the same week.

Hopefully things are looking up.

Okay, on to the premiere stuff:

Monday, 12/22

One of the best episodes of How I Met Your Mother ever airs tonight (CBS; 7:30 pm). The 2007 "Slapsgiving" celebration finds Marshall terrorizing Barney over a slap that is owed him. After many bluffs, Marshall finally does the deed. And then does something hilarious afterward; just to increase Barney's humiliation. This is must see TV right here, folks.

Prison Break (FOX; 8 pm). Mid-season finale. One of Linc's crew doesn't make it out of the ep alive. Here's my take on it, so if you haven't watched up to this point, skip to the next listing because this is a minor spoiler alert. I don't know anything, but here are my odds of death. Linc: 500-1; T-Bag: 200-1; Gretchen: 10-1; Self: 5-1.

Spoiler over

The Life a House Built; PBS. 8 pm (check local listings). Special.

A look at Jimmy Carter's work with Habitat For Humanity. I work with someone who bought a Habitat house (yes, they do buy them; just at reduced rates and reduced costs due to donated material and labor) last year, and I learned quite a bit about this fantastic program from her. Hopefully some insight can be gained for others with this special.

Tuesday, 12/23

A Home for the Holidays With Faith Hill; CBS. 7 pm. Special.

Frank TV (TBS; 10 pm). Season finale.

If a show airs, but no one gives a crap, does it really exist?

Wednesday, 12/24

A Christmas Story; TBS. 7 pm. marathon.

TBS runs its annual 24 hours of the classic film.

It's a Wonderful Life; NBC. 7 pm. Movie.

Another classic film; but only airing once.

Sunday, 12/28

Summer Heights High (HBO; 9:30) Season Finale.

This is an awesome show. Very much in the spirit of the original The Office and other more subtle comedy. Catch it on reruns or with OnDemand.

More Free Music

I've been without my computer the past two weeks or so, so when I got it back, I found an e-mail from amazon.com that said it was offering a free Christmas-music song for download every day this month.

Haven't listened to them yet, and Christmas-music isn't really my thing, so I don't know what's all there, but, c'mon, they're free.

And when you download a few of the songs (they've kept all the freebies up since Dec. 1), you can link to the other free songs and sampler albums they have. I just downloaded all I could find-- 98 new songs.

Check 'em out at: http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=pe_32950_10911590_pe_18/?docId=1000314901

I'll also recommend downloading the Amazon MP3 Downloader if you start downloading these tunes. If you have the Downloader and have iTunes open when you download from Amazon, the Amazon MP3 Downloader also transfer the songs automatically to your iTunes library. No pain-in-the-ass file manual transfers.

The Most Inspirational Speech-- EVER

"Novel Take"

I'm not tryin' to be a hater with two (true) Darth Bush posts in a row, but I like (Pulitzer Prize winner) Leonard Pitt Jr.'s work. He had a great editorial about the Bible a year or so ago-- and also brought my attention the diabolical censorship past of Sarah Palin.

This one grabbed my attention a few days ago where he calls out misguided stupidity:
'Novel take' on tenure of President Bush


Here's another, where he suggests how the Republicans could change strategy:
Don't let fear trump hope


Or another where he talks about the death penalty (and even though I was all for it a decade or so ago, viewpoints like Pitt's have swung me in the other direction since then):
Capital punishment is wrong, unfair


And, finally, a very mature explanation of why it's okay to believe in God:
Making sense of the meaning of life


You may not agree with him, but you have to admit he has a very nice, intelligent way about him that makes it difficult to disagree. And I find him refreshing that he doesn't resort to hatefulness when he's making his point. When one speaks of politics, race, and religion as he does, it's a tough-- but possible-- goal to not be overly mean.

Check out some of his other past columns at The Miami Herald

One Picture = a Million Words

Courtesy of Clay Bennett.
http://www.timesfreepress.com/news/cartoons/

Premieres and Notables; December 15-21, 2008

Still no home computer, so this'll be another quick one without the usual wise-ass comments. (I know: boo hoo.)

Monday, 12/15

Cat Dancers; HBO. 7 pm. Special.
A documentary about the three tiger and leopard tamers that were mauled by one of their charges a decade ago.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (FOX; 7 pm). Mid-season finale.

Intervention; A&E. 8 pm. Season Premiere.


Tuesday, 12/16

Biggest Loser: Families (NBC; 7 pm). Season Finale.

Blush (Lifetime; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Momma's Boys; NBC. 9 pm. Series premiere.
Three sons look for love (or an easy lay) in this dating reality show. But wait! There's more: the three men's moms live with the ladies in the house.

Breaking the Huddle; HBO. 9 pm. Special.
A documentary about the civil rights movement on college football.

And a Tuesday note: I've finally started watching this season's Eli Stone, and I have to recommend it. It's not always the most comedic or dramatic, but I love the sense that this character is a "prophet" (which religion? doesn't matter). It's a crime a show this unique and with this wonderful belief that one man can change the world got the ax. Watch it while you can on ABC at 9 pm.


Wednesday, 12/17

A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa; NBC. 7 pm. Special.

Stylista (The CW; 8 pm). Season Finale.

Parking Wars (A&E; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Sunday, 12/21

Brotherhood (Showtime; 7 pm). Season Finale.

Skins (BBC America; 9 pm). Season Finale.

NBC's Big Move

Probably old news for most of you-- but I'm trying to keep people up to date.

If you didn't know, Jay Leno was supposed to be "bumped" from The Tonight Show next year because Conan O'Brien was already promised the job. Then, when Jay's ratings stayed high, and he didn't show signs of being ready to leave, NBC had a problem on its hands. ABC and most other major and minor networks were all chomping at the bit to land him because Jay had nowhere to go on NBC. And NBC didn't want to lose the long-time king of late night.

So NBC thought outside the box and gave Jay a nightly TV show at the 10 pm (9 pm for us CST people).

It's a bold move for a network as they're taking out an entire five hours of "regular" programming from its prime time schedule, but NBC has been trying to think outside the block for the last two years (remember the "no scripted programming in the first hour of prime time" idea that seems to have been forgotten?).

Looks like NBC (and I'm sure Jay as well) made out well. NBC has big holes in its schedule, and they'll get worse once ER signs off. And now they've got a proven player (albeit a "late night" one) that will produce a show that will ultimately end up cheaper than what NBC was putting on before.

It remains to be seen if Letterman will gain some ground without Jay as competition or whether Conan will hold on to the viewers.

It also remains to be seen how long this "experiment" lasts. If ratings go south, will they pull back a night or three? What will NBC air when there aren't new episodes? How about when NBC makes a large block for original programming like the three-hour Heroes premiere this season?

I'm sure NBC has thought about it, but, as usual, they remain tight-lipped.

Premieres and Notables, December 8-14, 2008

Quick and dirty post this week (and probably the next few)... Computer took a dive, so I'm stuck on public computers-- yay!

Monday, 12/8

Boston Legal (ABC; 8 pm). Series Finale.

Top Gear; BBC America. 7 pm. Season Premiere.


Tuesday, 12/9

Manhunters: Fugitive Task Force; A&E. 9 pm. Series Premiere.


Thursday, 12/10

Sarah Silverman Program (Comedy Central; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Friday, 12/12

Starter Wife (USA; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Saturday, 12/13

The Greatest Game Ever Played; ESPN. 8 pm. Special.
A special reairing of the classic 1958 matchup between the Colts and the football Giants.


Sunday, 12/14

Survivor: Gabon (CBS; 7 pm). Season Finale

Dexter (Showtime; 8 pm). Season Finale.

Californication (Showtime; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Serve up some GREY'S SOUP

I love The Soup...

Soupy Grey's

Premieres and Notables; December 1-7, 2008

Tuesday, 12/2

According to Jim; ABC. 8 & 8:30 pm CST. 8th Season Premiere.
Yep, you heard me...

Bad Girls Club; Oxygen. 9 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.

Party Monsters: Cabo; E! 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Party Planners compete to put on events for people like P Diddy (or is it just Diddy now?) and Carmen Electra.

Shatner's Raw Nerve; Bio. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Wild Bill Shatner gets his own chatfest. In the premiere, he grills Valerie Bertinelli. I'm not too excited, but I like Val-- and you never know if Shatner will "lose it" at some point.


Wednesday, 12/3

Secret Millionaire; ABC. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
A British import/"reimagining" that finds one wealthy American every week sent to a struggling town to give money to deserving locals.

Spectacle: Elvis Costello With... Sundance. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Tonight he talks to Elton John. In the future, he talks to The Police, Bill Clinton, and Tony Bennett.


Wednesday, 12/3

Man v. Food; Travel. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Host Adam Richman pounds down 2-lb hamburgers and Reubens-- and describes the eateries he pounds them down in.

Tyler Perry's House of Payne; TBS. 9 pm. Season Premiere.


Thursday, 12/4

On My Name is Earl (NBC; 7 pm), Earl and Randy host a children's story time at the library. The stories they choose come from the police blotter.

Barbara Walters Special; ABC. 9:01. Special
Once again, Ba-Ba reinvents the word "interesting". Someone get that woman a dictionary!
The list: Will Smith, Miley Cyrus, Tina Fey, Tom Cruise, Rush Limbaugh, Frank Langella, Michael Phelps, and Sarah Palin.


Friday, 12/5

Merry Christmas, Drake & Josh; Nickelodeon. 7 pm. Movie.


Sunday, 12/7

The Librarian: The Curse of the Judas Chalice; TNT. 7 pm. Movie.
That title actually sounds cool. I doubt the product holds a candle to it, though. Noah Wylie returns as the titular librarian; this time he goes on an adventure that combines Dracula and a chalice made from Judas' 30 pieces of silver.

House of Saddam; HBO. 8 pm. 2-part mini-series.
Two hours tonight and two hours next Sunday of this drama dives into the private and public life of the scumbag who doesn't even need a last name for us to know who he is.

Leverage; TNT. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Timothy Hutton stars in this show about some less-than-legal-method people who mess with high-falutin' rich people, Robin Hood style.

ONIONy Goodness

God Help Him, But Area Man Loves That Crazy Bitch


'Cosmopolitan' Institute Completes Decades-Long Study On How To Please Your Man


Twister Party Fails To Get Dirty

Vince McMahon's X-SPAN Promises Bone-Crunching Legislative Coverage

Metal Council Convenes To Discuss 'Metal Hand Sign' Abuse

50 Reasons to Have Sex

If you watched last night's "The Naked Man" episode of How I Met Your Mother (and why wouldn't you have-- I only mention the show damn near every week), you experienced one possible reason to have sex: because the naked man in your house was there, and you were impressed by his confidence/humor or just thought "Why not?"

As you also saw, Lily and her friends tried to come up with 50 other reasons to have sex. Barney offered "Because your condoms are close to expiring," while Ted came up with "Wingman diving on the friend grenade."

But we only saw about a dozen of the reasons on the show.

If you want to Lily's complete list, check it out at this link:
http://www.tvguide.com/Includes/newsletter-images/blog-images/50_Reasons_1.gif

And for crying out loud, check out this show if you haven't yet. It gets better by the week.

Almost a Heartbeat Away From the Presidency

There are so many things to dislike about Sarah Palin's politics, but you gotta give her some applause for the comedy she brings to situations.

Suffer through the blah blah blah of the first half-- but at the 2 minute 30 second mark, this gets pretty funny.

Premieres and Notables; November 24-30, 2008

Before I get to the listings, let me mention that you should take the opportunity to catch the E! show The Soup from this past Friday. It was f-ing hilarious. It had a great fake interview with Miley Cyrus ("It's Miley!"), a kiss-ass shot at Madonna (been thinking the same thing for years), a brutal little The View rip, the usual blast at Tyra, Alec Baldwin calling out a stupid-ass reporter from a piece of shit TV show, a shout-out on The Price is Right, and the "Kick Ass Clip of the Week" made me say "Holy Shit!" in its awesomeness. All that and much, much more.

Because I liked it so much, I looked them up and here are the upcoming repeats; all on E!:
Sunday: 1 am, 9:30 am, 10 pm
Monday: 2:30 am, 8:30 am, 5 pm, 11:30 pm
Tuesday: 10 am

Do yourself a favor: laugh your ass off. And then on Thursday, when your family all goes around the table and says what they're thankful for, say "All the jackasses in the world that give Joel McHale so much to make fun of."

Okay; the listings:

Monday, 11/24

On How I Met Your Mother (CBS; 7:30 CST), something happens which involves sitting naked on a date's couch. It should be great.

I won't spoil it by saying what happens (I don't have details, but I know a plot point), but I will say to tune into Prison Break (FOX; 8 pm CST) where something big happens.

And Sam and Melanie finally get hitched on Worst Week (CBS; 8:30). Wouldn't be weird if everything went well?


Tuesday, 11/25

Dancing With the Stars (ABC; 8 pm). Season Finale.

The Real Housewives of Orange County; Bravo. 9 pm. 4th Season Premiere.

The Shield (FX; 9 pm). Series Finale.
The show that made FX what it is today bows out. And I've read it's a very good episode.

I've been pretty disappointed in the latest season of Moral Orel, but tonight [adult swim] (Cartoon Network) airs the best episode ever (and one of the funniest of any show I've ever seen) at 11:15-11:30 tonight. This first-season episode focuses on "Waste". I won't go into it because that would ruin the jaw-dropping realization of what Orel will do this episode. Not for people with weak stomachs; but if you can handle it, your stomach will hurt from laughing so hard..


Wednesday, 11/26

Rosie Live; NBC. 7 pm. Series Preview.
A sneak peek at Rosie O'Donnell's upcoming variety show.
Oh, the humanity...

World Magic Awards; MyNetworkTV. 7 pm. Special.
I normally wouldn't mention this type of thing, but this awards show is hosted by Neil Patrick Harris, so it might be worth recording and FFing through anything NPH is not onscreen for.

Sons of Anarchy (FX; 9 pm). Season Finale.
I only got through the pilot, so I hope FX has something waiting in the wings to pick up where The Shield left off. (Because SoA is not it.)


Sunday, 11/30

Snoop Dogg's Father Hood; E!. 9:30. Season Premiere.

There Is No God

Proof?

NBC gives Knight Rider and Kath & Kim full-season orders, and ABC decides to not let Pushing Daisies, Dirty Sexy Money, and Eli Stone produce any more than the thirteen episodes they already ordered.

That doesn't mean you may as well stop watching any of the shows; but now you have to just enjoy what you'll get because they'll be done soon.

(Pushing Daisies will be looking to continue its adventures in comic book form if a deal can be struck.)

Premieres and Notables; November 17-23, 2008

Monday, 11/17

On How I Met Your Mother (CBS; 7: 30 pm CST), Robin joins a group of party girls led by Jamie-Lynn Sigler (who, I hope, doesn't have to perform any sexual favors in this guest role-- as opposed to her recent Entourage appearance. --Don't get excited, it was off-camera.)

CSI: Miami (CBS; 9 pm CST) airs its 150th episode.


Tuesday, 11/18

Brother to Brutha; BET. 9:30 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Five half-brothers from South Central L.A. try to break into the music biz.


Wednesday, 11/19

The IFC Media Project; IFC. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Host Gideon Yago promises "the truth behind the news", but the review I read said he didn't do a very good job.

America's Next Top Model (CW; 7 pm). Season Finale.

Jason Alexander plays this week's killer on Criminal Minds (CBS; 8 pm).

CSI: NY (CBS; 9 pm) airs its 100th episode.


Thursday, 11/20

Chloe and Jimmy get married on Smallville (CW; 7 pm).

Someone made a mess in the microwave on The Office (NBC; 8 pm), which is good news to me as the worst-sounding plots end up with the greatest episodes of this show. (And this show needs to start having great episodes this year.)

Dean tells Sam what happened during his time in Hell on Supernatural (CW; 8 pm). [Sounds cool. I have to start watching that show. Time to break out the tapes I've recorded this show on...]

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Cool Tools; DIY. 8 pm. Season Premiere.

The Sarah Silverman Program (Comedy Central; 9:30). Season Finale.


Sunday, 11/23

24: Redemption; FOX. 7 pm. Movie.
A 2-hr movie that bridges Season 6 (which ended 18 months ago) and the upcoming Season 7.

True Blood (HBO; 8 pm). Season Finale.

Entourage (HBO; 9 pm). Season Finale.
The boys travel back to their hometown of NYC.

A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All; Comedy Central. 9 pm. Special.
Stephen Colbert welcomes Elvis Costello, Jon Stewart, and Willie Nelson in this Christmas spectacular.

The Drinky Crow Show; [adult swim]/Cartoon Network. 11:15 pm. Series Premiere.
Based on the Sock Monkey comic book series, but featuring Drinky, a crow that gets blitzed at all opportunities. I watched the pilot a year or so ago, and it would probably help to be drunk yourself when you watched this.

Near Mid-Season TV Show Update

Well, we're at that time of year, just before the Holidays that the networks start maneuvering their schedules. Dropping some, ordering more scripts for others, moving timeslots.

So far, the causalities are: Do Not Disturb, The Ex List, and Opportunity Knocks.

Shows which have stopped production and may never air again: Valentine, Easy Money, My Own Worst Enemy, and Lipstick Jungle.

Shows which have been given a full-season order: 90210 (no big surprise), Fringe, Knight Rider (wow-- I've heard it was crap), Kath & Kim (for real! One of the worst shows I've ever sat through), Life, The Mentalist, Private Practice (although I haven't read a review or a viewer comment that likes this show), and Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles.

Shows TV Guide says are "on the bubble": Crusoe (although it was intended on being a close-ended, 13 ep series), Prison Break (my guess is they end it next spring), Dirty Sexy Money (I bet they give it a full season and then not bring it back next season), Eli Stone (the same, runs this season; doesn't come back), Gary Unmarried (I doubt it makes it until May), Privileged (I think they keep it this season), Pushing Daisies (as much of a crime as it would be, I don't think it lasts the whole season), and Worst Week (I think it makes it through the season, but I could see it moving into Gary's spot).

Current shows I'm giving shout-outs to: How I Met Your Mother (CBS Monday; 7:30 pm)-- brilliant and hilarious, Phineas and Ferb (Disney Channel; multiple times each day)-- amazingly creative and works for children and adults, Big Bang Theory (CBS Monday; 7 pm)-- Jim Parsons is amazing, Desperate Housewives (ABC Sunday; 8 pm)-- stale show given new life with a five-year time jump, Family Guy (FOX Sunday; 8 pm)-- still hardly any plot, but funny again, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX Thursday; 9 pm)-- a little spotty, but very very funny when it's "on", and The Soup (E! Friday; 9 pm)-- hilarious .

All the above get my highest recommendation.

Premieres and Notables; November 10-16, 2008

Monday, 11/10



We've had two team members perish the past two episodes of Prison Break (FOX; 8 pm CST). Are there more going to follow? Probably, but doesn't sound like it this ep as it focuses on Michael and his ever-worsening condition.



And How I Met Your Mother (CBS; 7:30 CST) has been fantastic of late. Now's a good jumping-on point. Stella just left Ted and ran back to her ex. Last week, Ted realized that she was happy, so he had to move on. Sounds serious, and it is. But this show can mine comedy from anything-- and it does.

Tuesday, 11/11

Lincoln Heights (ABC Family; 7 & 8 pm). Season Finale.

Cha$e; Sci Fi. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Reality competition where contestants try to avoid "hunters" with virtual weaponry.

Extreme Trains; History. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
A look at the world's largest engines.

Rick & Steve: The Happiest Gay Couple in the World; Logo. 9 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.

Deliver Me; Discovery Health. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
A show about pregnancy complications. Surely, it'll be the feel-good show of the year.

Blush: The Search for the Next Great Makeup Artist; Lifetime. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
I'd say "We may have hit the bottom of the barrel," but I'm sure something will go even lower next week.

espn.com premieres Kenny Mayne's new web show Mayne Street today. I don't watch espn, but I do make sure I tune in to Mayne's hilarious short "news pieces" on NFL Countdown. This cat is funny; whether you like sports or not.

Wednesday, 11/12

Top Chef: New York; Bravo. 9 pm. 5th Season Premiere.

Human Wrecking Balls; G4. 9:30. Series Premiere.
Two martial artist brothers break stuff. They dismantle a car with their bare hands in the premiere.

Thursday, 11/13

Did you notice how much funnier The Office (NBC; 8 pm) was last week than in previous weeks? That's because it was directed by co-creator Stephen Merchant.

30 Rock (NBC; 8:30) welcomes guest star Jennifer Aniston. I'm not all that excited, but everyone else in the world seems to be.

On It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, the gang decides to do an extreme home makeover for a new neighbor.

Anthony Edwards guest stars on ER (NBC; 9 pm). Isn't his character dead? Yes he is, but they found a good way to bring him back for this single episode.

Plastic Makes Perfect; Fine Living. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Does cosmetic surgery make people happier and more successful? This show looks to answer that question.


Friday, 11/14

Batman: The Brave and the Bold; Cartoon Network. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
A "lighter", more kid-friendly, Batman teams up with another hero each week to defeat the villains (just as in the old Brave and the Bold comic book).

And I need to point out that last week's new episode of Phineas & Ferb (Disney Channel; 7:30 pm-- or three or four times throughout the day, every day) was hilarious and filled with all sorts of inside jokes for viewers who have seen a number of episodes. If you have kids, this is mandatory viewing. If you don't, it's still worth checking out.

Saturday, 11/15

TBS airs the classic How the Grinch Stole Christmas (6:30 pm)

Ricky Gervais: Out of England; HBO. 8 pm. Special.
The Office and Extras co-creator/star brings his stand-up show to HBO. I've heard some griping that his act is the same show to show, but I've never seen him do stand-up before, so it'll be new for me.

Arab Labor; Link TV. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
A sitcom about an Israeli-Palestinian journalist working in Israel.


Sunday, 11/16

Sound Revolution; Smithsonian. 7 pm. Mini-Series.
Six-part look at the birth of the blues hosted by Morgan Freeman.

Chef Jeff Project (Food Network; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Robot Chicken (adult swim/Cartoon Network; 10:30) does its second Star Wars special. The first was pretty good, and even got some voice work (and blessing) from George Lucas. This one has Billy Dee Williams pitching in.

Post-Election Thoughts

First off, I'm shocked that Prop 8 passed-- although I'm not heartbroken because it was by a slim margin. I thought if any state had a more enlightened populace, it would be California's. Interestingly, the minorities that Obama's people pushed to "get out the vote" for him were the ones that helped Prop 8 pass.

It's times like this that make me wish I had pursued a sociology degree because I find it very interesting that white voters were split on the issue, but African Americans and Latinos were in favor of it. On first thought, you'd have to think those two minorities would be more sympathetic to those being prejudiced against. On the other, much more cynical, hand, I wonder if a small part was the fact that they may have wanted same-sex couples to be discriminated against to take some of the heat off them.

But the big excuse is probably stereotypical: Latinos are predominantly Catholic, and we all know how intolerant the high-level muckety-mucks in that organization are. As for African Americans; well, there have been some people who have proposed that they are more homophobic than other people. I know it's not true of all people, but there are enough that it's become a bit of a stereotype.

The good news is: we as a people are heading in the right direction. California had a similar proposition in 2000, and the vote passed with over 60% in favor.

And there's always the possibility that the courts will step in and declare a ban on same-sex marriage unconstitutional again. I'm all for democracy, but if we learned anything in the 2000 & 2004 Presidential Elections, the people are not always right.

On to the other vote I was following: the Minnesota Senatoral race between Norm Coleman and Al Franken. Yes, that Al Franken; the guy from Saturday Night Live. I've read all of Franken's books, and they have increasingly become more political. I give him props for putting his money where his mouth is and running against a tough opponent. Sure, Franken's running in honor of Paul Wellstone-- and against Norm Coleman, who has become his nemesis the past few years-- but I also think he can bring some new ideas to the Senate.

Unfortunately, he's trailing. From somewhere between 500 and 1000 votes, depending on how many more votes have been counted that hour. Both candidates have 1.2 million votes and change. We are talking a difference of one-half of one-half percent. The closest major election in Minnesota history. Absolutely insane. A recount is in the works, and I've read that most players don't think this will end without the courts getting involved somehow.

One little tidbit more about the race: A big shout out to St. Louis County, who voted in favor of Franken more than any other county in the state (according to the stats compiled by the Star Tribune ). Being born and raised in that area, it makes my heart warm to see "my people" vote as I would have if I didn't live in Wisconsin now.


And finally, did you ever imagine that a person of color would be president five years ago? It's mind boggling. Part of it was because I knew there is still just too much prejudice out there and part of it was there's never really been a candidate of color that could talk without rhyming, which when used too much, is about as credible as a candidate rapping.

But the thing is, I think Obama was the best choice for someone who could lead the people and the country out of the mess that President Shitforbrains has gotten us into in his too-long tenure. You may not like Obama's politics, but I think he's qualified to inspire us as well as mend some fences our Nimrod-in-Chief has demolished in his eight years.

As for our current president: don't count him out yet. He's still got a solid two months where he can [f-bomb] up something bigtime. I think the odds he'll blow another opportunity is about even because I imagine his people will do everything they can to keep him away from dangerous things like Iran, South Korea, the economy, butter knives...

And the absolute best thing about the vote: we don't have to hear about a damn race anymore. Is it me, or is two freaking years a bit too long to run for a job you'll hold for only four years (maybe eight, but you've got to sell yourself again for a second term)?

I'd Rent It

See more Taran Killam videos at Funny or Die

Let the Bodies Hit the Floor

This is both one of the dumbest and one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Just Throw in a Colt 45, and He's Got My Vote

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Okay; A Little Over The Top

But it sure is cool in an odd way.

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

Okay-- I Didn't See That Coming...

Natalie Portman and Rashida Jones remind us to vote.

See more Natalie Portman videos at Funny or Die

And they offer up a solution to the economic crisis in this one:

See more Natalie Portman videos at Funny or Die

Take Off Your T-Shirt

Funny, inventive video about posers.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Premieres and Notables; November 4-9, 2008

Monday, 11/3

Raising the Bar (TNT; 9 pm CST). Season Finale.


Tuesday, 11/4

All you need to know is vote first, then watch TV.

If you've read my blog a while, you can get a little taste of where I'm coming from, but no matter whether you agree or disagree with me, the important thing is to vote.

But if I may stump a little: remember, third party/independent candidates need your vote, too-- even more than the Big Two parties, which have pretty much screwed any chance of a third voice being heard amongst their nonsense (and working campaign laws to make third parties' campaigns doomed to failure). If you don't know who to vote for, vote independent. No, odds are, that person won't win, but what it will do is legitimize another voice-- and increase the odds that those voices will be heard in the future.

Down with Red and Blue. Purple is a nicer color. I'd love to see purple all across the country when the networks show the country and what precincts have reported.

(And for those of you who are like me and don't get metaphors: purple is a mix of the other two colors.)

Anyway the main networks are covering this important election coverage, so don't expect new episodes or repeats on any of them. The CW, though, is airing new 90210 and Privileged episodes (as is FX airing a new The Shield). I'm not saying one is right or wrong-- although, seriously, how many f-bombing hours of election coverage do we need? Give us a one minute recap every commercial break and maybe a five minute recap at the top of every hour and then let the local and national news give full reports after prime time. It's not as if much is known until later in the night anyway.

Finally, there is also a new (and cool sounding) election episode of Wordgirl airing on PBS (10 am-- check local listings). I've never seen the show, but a link to this teaser was sent to me, and I think it was cute, a little humorous, and I'm sure also informative for younger viewers.

Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cawSBHnYm_A


Wednesday, 11/5

Don't forget, NBC moves Life to 8 pm CST and Law & Order (which may be a season premiere; I'm not sure about that due to this being a late sched change) moves to 9 pm.

Top Design (Bravo; 9 pm). Season Finale.


Thursday, 11/6

I'm still not as in love with this show (or the guest) as everyone else seems to be, but it should be noted that 30 Rock (NBC; 8:30) snagged guest star Oprah. I'm guessing it'd have to be pretty good for either to do the stunt.


Friday, 11/7

Law & Order: Criminal Intent; USA. 8 pm. Season Premiere.

Shadow Force; History. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
A look at expert mercenaries. The pilot shows them going after pirates off the coast of Liberia. [Don't know if you've heard, but pirates have been capturing a number of ships the past few months.]

Survivorman; Discovery. 8 pm. Season Premiere.

Whale Wars; Animal Planet. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Captain Paul Watson and his band of merry men sail around Antarctica and thwart Japanese whale hunters.

Henry Rollins: Uncut; IFC. 9:30 pm. Season Premiere.
I'm mad I don't get IFC with Charter cable. Sucks...


Saturday, 11/8

True Jackson, VP; Nickelodeon. 8:30 pm. Series Premiere.
A 15-year-old designer becomes the youngest VP at a fashion label.

My Bare Lady 2: Open for Business; FOX Reality. 9 pm. Season premiere.
Porn stars try to run a business. Wow....
I'm not mad I don't get FOX Reality...


Sunday, 11/9

Ruby; Style. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Ruby Gettinger starts her weight-loss journey at 477 lbs, and presumably it goes down from there.

Summer Heights High; HBO. 9:30 pm. Series Premiere.
Instead of adapting a show from another country and then screwing it all up, HBO decided to just air the original. This one is from Australia and is a mockumentary looking at life in high school. I've heard good things about this show. It's worth at least a looksie.

And over on Entourage (HBO; 9 pm), Seth Green shows up. If you've seen the show before, you know there will be fireworks as Seth and Eric do not get along so well.

New Sammy Goes Old

If you haven't seen it yet, here is Sammy Hagar's new video of the song "Cosmic Universal Fashion" (from the album Cosmic Universal Fashion; dropping Nov 18) that may look familiar.





And here's the original the "Cosmic" pays homage to:

Chelsea and Chuy Make a Video

I'm a fairly new fan of Chelsea Handler's Chelsea Lately (weeknights on E!; 10:30 pm CST), but she sold me with this video.

First, the background: Chelsea is a TV host and author (and I will guess a comedian as well), and Chuy (who she lovingly calls her "Little Nugget") is her assistant and sidekick.

They made a video about California's Proposition 8 that is both funny and informative:



And now that you've seen it, let me rant: Proposition 8 sucks ass. Blame the f-bombing Republican assholes who have used the anger Americans have for losing their money and jobs the past 10 years and turning it so they have anger against abortions and gays.

Everyone deserves the opportunity to marry the one they love (within reason: they should be consenting people at least 18 years of age and not blood relations, as well as human-- for obvious reasons), so just get over it and let people marry who they want. I'm married, and the fact that "Sulu" and his long-time boyfriend got married does not diminish my marriage an iota.

I always thought people who vote Republican over one issue (most notably abortion) were short-sighted (as if there aren't other important things going on in the country that should be included in the decision of who to vote for), but I have jumped on the one-issue bandwagon.

I will NEVER vote for a Republican as long as they maintain their hatred and prejudice against gays and lesbians. That's not to say I'll automatically vote Democrat (although it's more likely), but the Republicans will NEVER get my vote. No chance in Hell. You can put a Republican against The Anti-Christ in a Presidential election, and I will not vote for the Republican.

No, I'll vote for Superman.

It's legal. I can write him in.

And before you think I'm protecting someone close to me, I'm not. I don't have any contact with anyone I know is gay. I've met three people who were gay (and only one was "out" at the time) in my life. I'm saying this because it's the right thing to do: let people be in love with who they're in love with.

Californians, do the right thing, vote "no" on Prop 8, and tell the supporters of it to sit down, shut up, and stop being haters. It's time to stop discriminating, and come together as a country instead of splitting over the stupid shit that the Reps and Dems want us to fight about instead of waking up and seeing what the Two-Party system and their lobbyist masters have done to screw the country up.

TV News Odds and Ends

FOX and NBC took chances by giving low-rated series Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles and Chuck full-season pick-ups. The CW also ordered more scripts for Privileged.

Starting November 5, Life moves to Wednesdays at 8 pm CST. That's not to say NBC has tons of hope for the show, but they wanted to make a "crime block" on Wednesdays (and maybe to boot Lipstick Jungle to Friday Night Hell).

Gary Cole, who has been everywhere lately (Desperate Housewives last season, and a stint on Chuck next month) will get a few episodes of Entourage later next month before he becomes a regular cast member next season. Cole's TV work doesn't scream "funny" to me, but then he was Lumberg on Office Space. Ah-- that doesn't matter, I've been a big Cole fan since American Gothic. And I won't spoil the potential plot development with Cole's part; but it could mean big things for the gang if mean what I think it means.

Premieres and Notables; October 27- November 2, 2008

Monday, 10/27

Lisa Williams: Voices From the Other Side; Lifetime. 10 am. Mini-series premiere.
All this week, Williams "talks" to the dead to help them communicate with the living.


Tuesday, 10/28

Greek (ABC Family; 8 pm CST). Mid-season finale.

Coolio's Rules; Oxygen. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Coolio tries to start a catering business while being a husband and father in this reality show.


Wednesday, 10/29

Shaken, Not Stirred; MyNetworkTV. 8 pm CST. Series Premiere.
A new celebrity "roast" show starring D.L. Hughley, Paul Rodriguez, and Anthony Anderson. Tonight, they give it to Al Sharpton.

Redemption Song; Fuse. 10 pm. Series Premiere.
Eleven women with really troubled pasts (one strips to get bail money for her boyfriend, and another ran an escort service where she'd get clients wasted and then steal their wallets) compete for a record deal. Fun!

UFO Hunters; History. 9 pm. Season Premiere.


Thursday, 10/30

30 Rock; NBC. 8:30. Season Premiere.


Saturday, 11/1

Gladiators; BBC America. 3 pm. Series Premiere.
American Gladiators with the "American".

Primeval (BBC America; 8 pm). Season Finale.


Sunday, 11/2

Brotherhood; Showtime. 7 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.

The Simpsons (FOX; 7 pm) give us Treehouse of Horror XIX.

Army Wives (Lifetime; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Not as creepy as the real thing, but...

Dude's got Blaine's dumb-ass stare into the camera down pat. Pretty funny.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

I just may check out the real one after seeing this...

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Back to the CURB

Sounds like Curb Your Enthusiasm might back back sooner than later.

HBO is shooting for a December start time for production on the new season and hoping to start airing new episodes in early 2009.

Can you believe it's been a year-and-a-half since "Long Ball Larry" (one of my favorite TV scenes ever)?

Tough Guy

Giving equal time to the McCain campaign.

Listen to the very end. The best stuff is there.

Oh, If Only This Were True...

Like this clown has any idea of what he's done.

Kids Getting Involved

This little girl is a pretty good actress.



Precocious Youngster Sells Cookies To Buy Attack Ad

Boy Scouts Fight Breast Cancer

12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Volunteer To Give Women Breast Exams

Degrees of Pain

Tonight, I experienced two types of pain while watching TV.

First, I was hit in the gut by the surprise ending of the "Shelter Island" episode of How I Met Your Mother. I've talked this show up before, but tonight's episode put the series at a whole 'nother level. It has been one of my favorite comedies of the last few years, but now it's one of my favorite comedies ever.

Since its first season, the show has been surprising in the way that it can make you laugh and then break your heart once or twice a season, but I am crushed after this episode.

Props for the creators on leading us one way and then pulling the rug out from under us. Extra props for Josh Radnor. I don't know if I would be nearly as heartbroken if he wasn't playing Ted.

And poor Barney. So weak. You have to wonder what's in store for him and his crush after this episode.


And now, another completely different level of pain: I watched last Thursday's episode of Kath and Kim.

What a waste of film. Jesus Christ, that show is a turd.

I gave the Thursday edition of Saturday Night Live a shot because I thought if they only had a half hour, then it may actually be funny, but I was very wrong. One of the unfunniest shows I've ever seen.

But I think it's frickin' brilliant compared to Kath and Kim. That's 40 minutes of my life I'll never get back (I almost always give a show more than one episode to hook me, and I gave up after half ten minutes in the second ep).

I want to just smash my head with a hammer in the hopes I can get amnesia and forget I ever watched that piece of shit.

Have I seen worse shows? Probably. But this is a crime because some jackass at NBC actually thought it was so good that they'd promote the Hell out of it. And they gave it a plum spot between My Name is Earl and The Office. My God-- I hope they dump that piece garbage before it stinks up the entire lineup.

Man, I think I may have gone overboard here.

No-- I just remembered: NBC treated a great show (Scrubs) like a redheaded stepchild for years-- and then dumped it in favor of this load of feces.

Boo, NBC! Boo!

Premieres and Notables; October 20-26, 2008

Monday, 10/20

Rita Rocks; Lifetime. 7:30 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Nicole Sullivan stars in this series about a wife and mother who has a bit of an identity crisis and forms a garage band with some friends.
Note: the show airs every night this week at 7:30 and then moves to its normal Tuesday night slot next week.

Ski Patrol; TruTV. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Reality show that follows a ski patrol in Washington State.


Tuesday, 10/21

Living With the Wolfman; Animal Planet. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Wolf-lover Shaun Ellis finds a girlfriend and tries getting her assimilated in the pack of wolves he lives with.

General Hospital: Night Shift (SoapNet; 10 pm). Season Finale.

Frank TV; TBS. 10 pm. Season Premiere.


Wednesday, 10/22

Stylista; The CW. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Elle fashion-news editor (they consider fashion "news" enough to have an editor?) Anne Slowey does an Appentice-style show.

Independent Lens; PBS. 8 pm (check local listings). Season Premiere.


Thursday, 10/23

American Gangster; BET. 9 pm. Season Premiere.


Saturday, 10/25

America's Toughest Jobs (NBC; 7 pm). Season Finale.


Sunday, 10/26

Nature; PBS. 7 pm (check local listings). 27th Season Premiere.

Cities of the Underworld; History. 8 pm. Season Premiere.

Mad Men (AMC; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Too Cool For Words

For those of you who watch Metalocalypse, you'll get how damn cool this is.

If you don't watch... Well, it's still pretty cool.

I Can't Describe This-- Just Check it Out

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Premieres and Notables; Oct. 13-19, 2008

Well, the new TV season is underway. I taped the first few Knight Riders, but I have heard so much bad about it, I taped over it this week. Do Not Disturb... F-ing brutal. Kath & Kim is not much better, but I will give it 2-3 episodes before I give up on it. Gave Private Practice about twenty minutes before I decided it didn't get any better than the first two eps I suffered through last year-- despite everyone on the show saying it's so much better this time.

How I Met Your Mother continues to be great. Best network comedy right now. Sorry, Office, but you know I'm right. Worst Week has successfully navigated the tightrope it's on; just silly enough and hasn't gone overboard yet. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia needs to pick it up just a bit, but it's still way, way better than most. My Name is Earl is back to what makes it quietly one of the nicest shows on TV (I love how it mixes self-centered hyper-rednecks with some very touching moments/situations from time to time). Big Bang Theory has maintained its momentum from last year. Entourage has been mixed; beats last season by a mile, though. And the best comeback is by Prison Break; nice to see it back to what made the first season so good (a team trying to accomplish a task).


Monday, 10/13

Inside the Actor's Studio; Bravo. 6 pm CST. Season Premiere.
Christian Slater is the guest this ep.

Little People, Big World; TLC. 7 pm CST. 4th Season Premiere.

Samantha Who?; ABC. 8:31 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.

My Own Worst Enemy; NBC. 9:00 pm. Series Premiere.
Christian Slater stars as a spy who had a second personality/life of an office worker implanted into his brain. Sounds like a great premise, but, from what I've heard, the execution is not so good.


Tuesday, 10/14

The Cleaner (A&E; 9 pm). Season Finale.

Frontline; PBS. 8 pm (check local listings). Season Premiere.
A look at McCain and Obama starts the new season out.

Eli Stone; ABC. 9:01 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.
I really liked this show last season. Check it out. Recommended.

Toughest Race on Earth: Iditarod; Discovery. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
This reality show follows mushers and their dog teams on the race across Alaska. I'm there.


Wednesday, 10/15

Chocolate News; Comedy Central. 9:30. Series Premiere.
David Alan Grier stars in this comedy sketch show. I'll check it out, but I haven't heard good things.

Parking Wars; A&E. 9 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.

Project Runway (Bravo; 8 pm). Season finale (and the end of the show on Bravo).


Thursday, 10/16

Iconoclasts; Sundance. 9 pm. 4th Season Premiere.
Richard Branson and Desmond Tutu chat.


Friday, 10/17

Crusoe; NBC. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
An adaptation of the classic novel.

Crash; Starz. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
A adaptation of the Oscar-winning movie, starring Dennis Hopper. I already caught the pilot on OnDemand, and it's a mess. I know the premise is the characters' lives start intersecting, but this ep was too much set-up with no pay-off at all. And, because it's on a pay-channel, there is unnecessary swearing and nudity. I have no problem with either, but it felt tacked on because it wasn't on USA or another basic cable channel.
My other problem: I do not give a crap about any of the characters. I know that's pretty standard nowadays, but I have less and less time to watch shows develop beyond a handful of episodes. Shows have to start hooking viewers sooner (they used to have to do it in the pilots, so it's not as if I'm asking for much).
I'll give the show a few more eps, but I don't have my hopes up.

Ghost Adventures; Travel. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
Another show where paranormal investigators check out "haunted" places.


Saturday, 10/18

The Naked Brothers Band; Nickelodeon. 7:30 pm. Season Premiere.
I'll never stop thinking this is stupid name for a kids band...


Sunday, 10/19

Pulling; Sundance. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
A six-episode sitcom from Britain about a single woman who dumps her fiance and then tries to keep up with her rowdy roommates.

Additional Notables

Okay, I'm back from my time away from the computer, and, of course, Entertainment Weekly had some shows listed that TV Guide didn't.

[Note to TV Guide: get your crap together. Stop wasting pages with stupid shit like who's dating whom and start listing most of the major shows on the major cable channels. My subscription expires in two years, and I'm on the fence about renewing.]


Monday, 10/6

Bingo America; GSN. 5:30 pm CST. 2nd Season Premiere.
Really?

My Big Amazing Renovation; HGTV. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
I'm guessing it's about what the title suggests.

Magic's Biggest Secrets Revealed; MyNetwork TV. 8 pm. Season Premiere.


Tuesday, 10/7

Whose Wedding Is It Anyway? Style. 9 pm. Season Premiere.

Dirty Jobs; Discovery. 8 pm. Return.


Wednesday, 10/8

The Sarah Silverman Program; Comedy Central. 9:30 pm. 3rd Season Premiere.


Thursday, 10/9

Testees; FX. 9:30. Series Premiere.
I don't know much about this comedy about medical test subjects other than it's created by Kenny vs Spenny's "evil" Kenny Hotz.


Saturday, 10/11

The Graham Norton Show; BBC America. 9 pm. Season Premiere.


Sunday, 10/12

The Chef Jeff Project; Food Network. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
I can't come up with an original way to put this, so I'll let EW's Jessica Shaw say it: "Former jailbird Jeff Henderson inspires kids to choose celery over crime." For real...

Premieres and Notables; Oct. 6-12, 2008

Sorry-- I'm typing this one up before I get Entertainment Weekly, which has the more obscure shows listed. Hopefully, I won't miss too much.

Monday, 10/6

Prison Break (FOX; 8 pm): Gretchen + T-Bag = an even more exciting season.


Wednesday, 10/8

The Tony Rock Project; My Network TV. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Chris' little brother gets his own show. No idea what it's about.


Thursday, 10/9

Kath & Kim; NBC. 7:30 pm CST. Series Premiere.
Molly Shannon stars as a divorce who has her home invaded when her spoiled daughter moves back in. I watched a few eps of the original Australian show, and it was cute, but not enough for me to keep watching. NBC is pushing this show hard, and that usually means it's not that great when they're filling space on Thursdays.

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation; CBS. 8 pm. 9th Season Premiere.
The gang (even Sara) comes together to solve the crime of who shot Warrick.

Saturday Night Live Weekend Update Thursday; NBC. 8:31 pm. Mini-series.
Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler anchor a three-week Thursday version of their SNL routine. Let's hope they put more time into their show than they did on their title...

Life on Mars; ABC. 9:01. Series Premiere.
Jason O'Mara stars as NYPD detective Sam Tyler, who gets into an accident and finds himself in 1973 New York. I haven't seen the original British show yet, but I heard it was pretty good. Doesn't mean this one will be good, either, but it does prove that the odd premise can work.


Friday, 10/10

WWE Smackdown; My Network TV. 7 pm. Season Premiere.

Degrassi: The Next Generation; The N. 7 pm. 8th Season Premiere.

The Starter Wife; USA. 8 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.


Saturday, 10/11

Dogs 101/Cats 101; Animal Planet. 7 pm. 10-episode series.
Eight eps devoted to dogs and two to cats.

Addition to Notables: Venture & Costas

Just flipped through my upcoming recordings on the DVR and came across two fun episodes.

First, on Monday night, there's the "Assassinanny 911" episode of The Venture Brothers (adult swim/Cartoon Network; 11:30 pm CST). I am 99.9% sure that's the ep with one of my favorite scenes of all time: when Dean gets mouth to mouth and then runs around screaming that the Apaches are back (check out the ep-- I won't ruin it here).

Next, on Tuesday, is the newest episode of Costas Now (HBO, 8 pm). This ep features Hank Aaron and Willie Mays. This is mandatory viewing for a number of reasons: it has two of the greatest baseball players-- and men-- who ever stepped onto the field; two men who were instrumental in the race issues sports had at the time; and the fact that Bob Costas is an amazing talent who absolutely loves baseball in general and those two men in particular. I'm not much of a baseball fan, but I will be glued to my couch. This promises to be amazing television. Do not miss it.
(Note: those of you recording this would be smart to extend the recording a good half-hour beyond the hour-long run time. When Costas had the baseball roundtable discussion-- which included Aaron & Mays-- earlier this year, the filming went over by about ten minutes.)

Premieres and Notables; Sept. 29-Oct. 5, 2008

Monday, 9/29

Chuck; NBC. 7 pm CST. 2nd Season Premiere.
Chuck's finally back. Sure, it's a bit silly, but it's also very charming. This season finds Chuck becoming expendable. Not sure how he still stays involved with things, but I'm sure the show will work it out. Recommended

Life; NBC. 9 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.
On a special night, the new season starts. Then the show moves to Fridays at 9 pm (which is where it lands this week, so don't miss it). I'll recommend it for the performances and humor, but I will admit I'm not all about the mystery of Charlie's framing.

And last week's How I Met Your Mother (CBS; 7:30) was fantastic, if you missed it (seriously, why do you miss it?-- I mention that show all the time!). Tonight's ep is one of Marshall "quest" episodes, which are always good. This time, he's looking for the place where he had his first NYC hamburger.


Tuesday, 9/30

The IT Crowd; IFC. 9 pm. Series Premiere.
This British comedy import revolves around the IT department of a large company. It's supposed to be good, and NBC was looking to make its own version last year. Unfortunately, my cable company doesn't carry the network, so I'm out of luck.


Wednesday, 10/1

Private Practice; ABC. 8 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.
This show was horribly disappointing last year (at least the episode and and half I sat through), but producers have promised they've gotten the kinks out and are ready to utilize the strengths of the writers and the actors.

Dirty Sexy Money; ABC. 9:01 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.
What was disappointing about this show last year was that the strike ended the season just as the show found its groove. I don't like ultra-rich family soaps, but I do enjoy this one, which Peter Krause holds together very well. It's supposed to get a bit soapier ("dirtier and sexier" from what I read), so I hope that doesn't detract from what I liked about it. But I'll still recommend it.

America's Got Talent (NBC; 8 pm). Season finale.

Friday Night Lights; DirecTV (Ch 101). 8 pm. 3rd Season Finale.
If you have DirecTV, you can get a jump on everyone else. If you don't, NBC will be airing the episodes in 2009.

And don't for Do Not Disturb anymore. It got the ax. I made it through 1-1/2 of the 3 eps that aired, and that was giving it more time than it deserved. Total crap.


Thursday, 10/2

Timm Gunn's Guide to Style; Bravo. 10 pm. 2nd Season Premiere.


Friday, 10/3

Everybody Hates Chris; The CW. 7 pm. 4th Season Premiere.
It's a crime how this show doesn't seem to get the respect it deserves. It's one of the few (only?) family sitcoms out there. And it's good. Highly Recommended

Ghost Whisperer; CBS. 7 pm. 4th Season Premiere.
Jay Mohr's out, Jamie Kennedy's in.

Wife Swap; ABC. 7 pm. Season Premiere.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars; Cartoon Network. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Sure, the "pilot" film bombed this summer, but I've read that the series is better.
And let's all keep this in perspective: the show is aimed at kids. Not that kids programming precludes quality (check out Phineas & Ferb), but it will be simpler than "old school" Star Wars are used to.

The Ex List; CBS. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Elizabeth Reaser stars as a woman who found out (from a psychic) that she has one year to get married or she may end up alone. And her "true love" is someone she's already dated.

The Game; The CW. 7:30 pm. Season Premiere.

Numb3rs; CBS. 9 pm. Season Premiere.

Ironic Iconic America; Bravo. 7 pm. Series Premiere.
Supermodel Bar Refaeli and poet Rives travel America. Sounds interesting, but it's on Bravo, so who knows?


Saturday, 10/4

My Big Redneck Wedding; CMT. 8 pm. Season Premiere.
I normally don't mention CMT crap, but this episode features a wedding that has mud bogs and monster trucks. Oh, and the couple are step-siblings.


Sunday, 10/5

4Real; CW. 4 pm. Series Premiere.
A new series that salutes community leaders throughout the world.

America's Funniest Home Videos; ABC. 6 pm. 19th Season Premiere.
Nineteen seasons? That's a lot of nut shots...

Easy Money; The CW. 8 pm. Series Premiere.
Laurie Metcalf stars as a woman who runs a loan-shark operation out of her legit business. Judge Reinhold also stars-- and has already gotten some props for his work.